My Birthday Gift.. - Events - Nairaland
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| My Birthday Gift.. by Fabdedon(m): 6:28am On Mar 27, 2015 |
In this beautiful life we find our self, one needs to be ready to expect, the Good,Bad, Ugly and Funny side of life.. Yeah Funny side of life.. As i stroll past the lonely road with my file, looking out for any poster that could help me with a job.. Even is i see House boy wanted urgently..i would apply.... Then My Inner Self came out of me in shame and shook it's head "Just imagine you a second class upper holder calivanting the street with no hope of getting a Job. Tufia !! ." I was about to reply,but was disrupted when i stumbled upon a small rock lying on the road.. Eweeehh.. I fell on the floor draStiCally.. My files scattered on the floor.. Still recovering from the shock..i couldnt even stand up.. Very weak,i just wished i would just die there, tired of this life, very hungry, no hope of even eating the shaft of a bread.. Was still lying on the floor thinking of my life.. **My Inner Self= MIS ** MIS : No stand up there nah when motor go use you doo foot mat you go know.. I lazily stood up like an ant with an Elephant body trying to do press-up, as i pick up my dumb files.. And i saw something that looks like money.. Ehh.. I rubbed my eyes once more.. Eh nah money oo.. I slowly look left, right and left again and advance on the money as if i am about to attack a fly.. Cchhham !! I catch am.... Yeahhh, i jumped up and celebrated asif i had recieved my salary in Dangote's company.. I tucked my golden 20Naira inside my boxers, zipped it, buckled my Jean so tight and dipped my hand inside my pocket to get hold of the money inside my boxers to avoid stories that touch,as i dash to no where but Iya Kehinde corner... I dashed into Iya Kehinde's corner panting like a man that mistakely fell into river Niger and successfuly swam to the bank of the river.. Every one dashed out of the corner,some through window,backdoor,under the table, inside deep freezer.. , I would have laughed but the sharp pain in my tummy made me mind my business.. Me : Iya kehinde oo come abeg.. **She slowly open the standing fridge from inside and peep to know if everywhere is calm ** Iya Kehinde : arrh Fabbo watin de happen nah.. Me: Ewooh, see where you dey.. abeg come ge me rice jarri.. Iya Kehinde: arrh rice don finish oo, na the last one i give that men...She pointed at the slim man who was jumping down from the ceiling Me : Ehh.. My mouth dropped ** That shocking moment when you go to withdraw 2000Naira from the bank and the cashier still want to count it with Machine ** MIS : "dey there dey select food no find another thing chop.". Me : ehh Iya Kehinde.. Watin else come dey? Iya Kehinde : Nah beans oo.. And e remain small oo.. Me : Abeg rush give me 20 Naira own abeg.. She opened the cooler that allowed the aroma of the old beans fill the air that triggered my adrenaline into the wrong frequency.. I started feeling uncomfortable, my hands vibrating all by it self,already salivating.. Eh.. The aroma is one of its Kind.. As if that wasnt enough.. With Iya Kehinde still serving the 20Naira beans.. I went down and started doing warming up excersices and press-up. Note:I havent eaten yet oo.. Just imagine the degree of hunger.. Finally she finished serving the food and passed it to me.. My hands kept trembling and i lifted the plate happily like a competition cup.. I started devouring the food . MEN AT WORK. As it that moment i think the only organs working in my body then were my mouth and Hands and eyes focused only on the plate.... Cos as at that time if you have talked to me i surely would not hear you.. ""Tumm tumm Excuse me boss you have a text message"" I knew something was vibrating in my pocket but as at that moment Nothing ever can make me take a short break.. ""Tumm tumm Excuse me boss you have a text message"" once again.. Ehh if nah Mtn dey send this message eh.. I swear thunder go..well sha at least they are the only one that remember me in this hard time.. I picked up my phone to check my message.. Hmm who get this number..i quickly opened it.. Dear Paschal, you are now qualified for the interview scheduled for tomorrow 8am at the company's venue. Thank you Arrhh that moment when you are overjoyed and you dont know whether to Jump,sit,run,stand.. Arrhh i kept on shouting.. I had wanted to run out of the corner but i remembered my beans.. I went for the plate transformed the stainless plate to the shape of a funnel and down the hot beans went.. I Dashed out.. |
| Re: My Birthday Gift.. by Fabdedon(m): 6:29am On Mar 27, 2015 |
Next!! The office attendant shouted..for the next person to enter.. I kept on revising my scripts and possible questions and trying to relieve my self of the tension.. Not up to 5 minutes the lady that went in came out with a sad face with tears already on her eyes.. I felt for her maybe she was rejected.. Mehn this organization should be strict.. I was still feeling for her when i noticed that there is something bothering me more than her situation.. Prrruuuhhhhh.. Prrruuuhhhhhh.. "My tummy rumbled.." No this cant be it..i tried convincing my self..no not this time, i re adjusted my shirt.. Next..!! The guy stood up and went inside the office, i counted.. Yeah about 2 more people before me..ok i can bear it.. Yeah i will.. Prrruuuhhhhhh kpah Prrruuuhhhhhh !!! ""That face you would give when you wake up and realize your ex is forcing you to eat yam and red oil in the dream.."" No doubts at all, my enemies are watching me with clay pot from the village.. Beads of sweat already forming on my fore head.. Even when i try wiping it, it doesnt help matter.. Next !! Ewooh.. Next person now would be me..noo i must do something now.. Ohh, should i take excuse, No i might miss this job..should i.. Emm. MIS : "Guy you be John oo Diffuse this thing nah no be today you start de do am nah.." Yesoo.. If i diffuse this liquid matter in Gaseous state it would definately reduce the volume,hereby making me relieved Even when i tried releasing it the fear of it coming out in liquid state is still there.. I carefully used the mental seperating technique to allow the downwards release of gas.. And pheeeeeww it went.. At least for like the next 2 minutes.. The reception office remained calm and still as if hiroshima bomb was redirected there.. I think even the air condition system stopped working after making some croaking sounds.. I am very sure Ammonium was present there because of its shocking smell.. I maintained cool until all eyes went on me.. Like say dem write GUILTY for my fore head.. Just then i realize that i was directly in front of the aircondition.. So the sudden atmospheric change was comming from my direction.. But watin concern me.. I maintained cool asif nothing happend at least i am bit releaved.. Next...!! I stood up, did the sign of the cross and.. Walked inside the office,greeted and submitted my file before i sat down... Employer : So what makes you think you are capable for this Job.. Me : Yes, i would say my Experience of working, during my IT i worked with NNPC as assistant construction Manager and i recieved an award there for the best behave and effective staff.. MIS : "Guy you sabi lie oo chai.. What if they ask of the award or even picture of you collecting the award nko.. Better change topic oo.." I would have stayed there long but school i needed to finalize.. Also i served my NYSC at Ekitti state in a school ,there i taught Techincal drawing for the senior classes and the period why i was there 95% of the student got A1 in their Waec and Neco and it is the first time in the school history.. And. . Prruuhhhhhhh ppprrrruuuuhhh Kpaah.... My eyes bulged out, my mouth pouted outward.. In shock.. Seems My Inner self is not the only being reacting to the lie.. Employer : Is anything the problem? Me: No sir.. Sorry Ma.. Even when i was in the school i was made the house of the.. Permit me to use this word. . Employer:Ok go on, i am with you.. Me: I was the house master of the most sturborn house in the school as at then.. But at the end of the session the house got the award of the best behaved house and came second in the interhouse sport.. Mainly due to the fact i didnt join then on time for the training but the little while i was there i impacted my sporting skills there and it gave effective results.. MIS : I cover my self with the blood of Jesus.. Guy i know you can lie oo.. But now ,i now believe that you did masters for the Act of Lying in Oxford university I can feel it coming out.. My legs started shaking..i am hot inside but out i am freezing.the A.C there not helping matters at all.. goose bumps already forming on my skin the size of iya kehinde Pimples.. Okaaay sooooo it thaaat Iyyya Kehinde BeanS that is causing this.... I voiced aloud.. (I see someone rolling on the floor laughing.. Enjoy it is my day  )Employer : Is anything the problem? Uuuuurrrrhhhm ppprrrruuuhhhh kpahh Kapph..My tummy rumbles loudly Even a deaf man in a party club would hear it.. All the hairs in my body are already erect asin One- One like that of an angry porcupine..my eyeballs rolled up to heaven. . My Employer couldnt help but burst into laughter.. Employer : Hehehe you can use the restroom over.. Before the would even point i was already inside.. Arrrrrrrhhhhhhhh.. At last, my eyeballs rolled back to earth.. That amazing moment when your bleep partner licks the "TIP"..arrrrhhh Later on i got the Job.. I introduced my Boss to Iya kehinde's corner.. Thanks to the 20Naira Thanks to Iya Kehinde and her "Beans" I am very grateful Happy birthday day to me #Iam_Fabdedon |
| Re: My Birthday Gift.. by alberto2k(m): 6:43am On Mar 27, 2015 |
Happy birthday Faby... God bless you man! 1 Like |
| Re: My Birthday Gift.. by Fabdedon(m): 6:48am On Mar 27, 2015 |
alberto2k:thanks i appreciate  |
| Re: My Birthday Gift.. by alberto2k(m): 6:54am On Mar 27, 2015 |
Cc: Orijin101 Stephenqueen Make una bring green bottles n weed jawe 1 Like |
| Re: My Birthday Gift.. by Nobody: 7:55am On Mar 27, 2015 |
HAPPY BUFDAY DARLING!!!  More sperm 2 ur d1ck  wullnp! 1 Like |
| Re: My Birthday Gift.. by stephenqueen: 10:55am On Mar 27, 2015 |
alberto2k:..no worry I don order for weeds from lordhugo ,origin101 go order for ororo and origin |
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