Yes, it's true. You WILL go straight to Hell. Ladies,
take note.
Oh, yoga pants. We may not wear you to an actual
yoga class, but you fit women of all sizes perfectly
and shape our butts quite nicely.
Okay, they aren't the most stylish piece of clothing,
but they sure are comfy as hell and make going to
the supermarket on a lazy Sunday much less
dreadful. (They also work wonders for moms
constantly on the go who can't be bothered by
copious amounts of snot and crayons on their nice
clothing.)
Recently there's been an outpouring of backlash
toward these pants and a crazy surge of support in
favor of banning them (yes, passing a REAL law to
get rid of them once and for all). What's up with
that?
Oh, right. Not only are you ruining your life by
wearing them, you are also ruining everyone else's!
Plus, shouldn't we know better than to dress for our
own convenience and go out in public looking like a
bum?
The nerve of some people!
So, if you wear yoga pants, take a deep breath and
prepare yourself for these 9 horrible, life-altering
things that will DEFINITELY happen to you:
1. You'll get a divorce .
Eva Mendes has made her opinion of poor fashion
choices perfectly clear, saying "You can't do
sweatpants ... ladies, number one cause of divorce
in America: sweatpants." I'd like to think she's
lumping together sweatpants and yoga pants,
because wearing both are a sign you don't know
how to dress properly. When in doubt, always take
advice from unmarried celebrities.
She definitely knows how to keep her man happy —
removing sweats from her wardrobe completely. I
think we can learn something from her. You must
keep your style "feminine" to keep your husband
interested. That means no yoga pants or sweats.
Sh*t, just stop wearing pants completely, okay?
Save your marriage one skirt at a time.
2. You'll ruin your (husband's) sex life.
The editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, Kate White,
appeared on Today, saying that sweatpants "take
away the sexual energy you need." There's nothing
that zaps away your husband's sex drive more than
your comfy sweats. In the same interview, Robi
Ludwig, a psychotherapist and contributor for
Care.com, says sweats send a message of, "I don't
really care how I look anymore; I don't care about
turning you on."
Seriously, if every outfit you wear doesn't turn your
husband on, you'll be celibate for the rest of your
marriage (if you even stay together).
3. You'll be a threat to society.
Teenagers are also baring the brunt of the anti-
yoga pants movement, causing upheaval in schools
across the country.
The pants became such a problem in a North
Dakota high school that the school banned yoga
pants altogether. And good thing, too! The boys
were becoming increasingly distracted during class,
and young, male teachers were unable to keep the
class (and themselves) focused.
Won't somebody please think about the children?
We certainly can't have these young men putting
their futures at risk. Hell, it's harmful to the entire
education system! We should ban them nationwide.
After all, our children are the future.
4. You'll tempt WAY too many men.
Wearing yoga pants is the worst sin you can
commit, tempting a man and making him think
about — dare we say it — the female body.
Blogger Veronica Partridge had some qualms with
yoga pants, too — so much so, that after talking
with her friends about these pants, she asked her
husband how he felt. Her husband, Dale, replied,
"Yeah, when I walk into a place and there are
women wearing yoga pants everywhere, it's hard
not to look. I try not to, but it's not easy."
Yes, women should dress to look more pleasant to a
man ... but not too pleasant, obviously. Come on,
ladies! We need to stop distracting men. It's sinful
and it's disgraceful. Men already have enough to
worry about.
5. You'll be cited for indecent exposure.
A Montana representative , David Moore, was so
offended by naked bicyclists in his hometown that
he's now on a mission to ban any clothing that
"gives the appearance or stimulates ... a person's
butt, genitals, pelvic area, or female nipples,"
including, but not limited to, you guessed it: yoga
pants. Which, Moore thinks, "should be illegal
anyway." If you receive more than 3 offenses, you
have a high chance of spending life in prison with a
hefty $10,000 fine.
Moore really seems to care about his state
(awwww), saying, "I want Montana to be known as
a decent state where people can live within security
of laws and protect their children and associates
from degrading and indecent practices." It's not
enough that Montana is home to gorgeous national
parks; it should also be home to good morals and
discretion.
So after your husband divorces you, you'll get
thrown in jail and that's that. Don't worry; I'm sure
you'll meet a new husband (or wife) there.
6. You'll offend a higher power.
Religious folk are concerned about women who
wear these pants; once you're on God's bad side
you'll go straight to H-E-double-hockey sticks. You
don't respect yourself and you certainly don't
respect God by wearing them.
Modesty has been "in" for thousands of years, so
why stop now? Even Islam and Judaism support
women dressing modestly — don't show any skin
other than your hands and face, don't wear tightly-
fitted garments, and for the love of all that is Holy,
DO NOT WEAR YOGA PANTS!
Let's pray together. Curse this bodacious ass! O
blasphemous article of clothing! Damn thee to hell! I
repent. I swear I will never taint my soul again with
yoga pants. Lest we forget, He is always watching
and judging. Plus, how will you kneel down to pray
in church with your pants riding up your butt?
7. You'll turn into a drag queen.
If you've ever see Ru Paul's Drag Race , you know
these queens spend more than an hour in the mirror
contouring their face and getting dressed in outfits
with sequins ... lots and lots of sequins (and
sparkles). If you're wearing yoga pants with no
intention of actually attending a yoga class, you
probably didn't even have enough time to make
yourself look decent.
That's why Fran Lebowitz — brutally honest author
and public speaker — wants everyone to know that
if you DO wear yoga pants, you're pretty much the
equivalent of washed up drag queens who "let
themselves go," and are also horribly bad at their
jobs.
8. You will literally blind people with your booty.
You know how you stare into the sun and can't
see? Yeah, that's your butt burning the retinas of
every person who looks at you. And what do you
get when you cause accidental, widespread
blindness? The complete shutdown of society ... and
civilization as we know it!
I'm sure the millions of pissed off (and permanently
blind) people will come knocking at your door to
suffocate you with the same yoga pants that
disabled them (with the help of seeing-eye dogs, of
course). You don't want that kind of guilt weighing
on your conscience, do you? If THAT doesn't kill
you, the anti-yoga folk sure will. And you deserved
it for wearing yoga pants in the first place.

I don't understand ladies at all.
It's like they have an irresistible urge to go around naked.
I saw a woman wearing this to the office the other day...and this lady is married. Her Vajina was very well outlined for all to see. I was like wtf? She laughed and said it is fashion. IT IS STUPIDITY in my opinion. Why diminish yourself by looking like a prostitute? Has decent clothing finished in the market? What's with all this showcasing ass and vajina in the name of freedom of choice? People are just being stup1d.

Yeeepa c yansh1

This is de main reason y Saudi Arabians are being purnished wen dey re being raped. I dnt even like it wen my gal puts it on cos it draws unnecessary attention frm pple

5minsmadness:
I don't understand ladies at all.
It's like they have an irresistible urge to go around naked.
I saw a woman wearing this to the office the other day...and this lady is married. Her Vajina was very well outlined for all to see. I was like wtf? She laughed and said it is fashion. IT IS STUPIDITY in my opinion. Why diminish yourself by looking like a prostitute? Has decent clothing finished in the market? What's with all this showcasing ass and vajina in the name of freedom of choice? People are just being stup1d.

The urge to channel the "inner slut" is extremely powerful !
Once we had social morés, decorum and character. Now we have autonomy and liberalisation. Game over.


TV

Hyper confused OP:

The same pants that turns the husbands off turn other men on.

@pictures: gross and ugly

Soooooooooo?
What is wrong with the pictures?

I smell E BADU BELLE AND E JOLOSI O!
I will not even pay the "bush peverted RATS" any attention!
Mtcheeeeeeeeew!

gbe oju e kuro

austine4real:
Yeeepa c yansh1

aflyingbird:
gbe oju e kuro

iyawo mi bawo ni, se alafia lowa?

Let's be sincere, no right thinking man will see a lady in this and call her responsible, the words, slut, LovePeddler, sex worker, attention seeker, will definitely come to mind.
I do not support rape in anyway, but how will a lady dress this way and walk in a closed or dark area in the sight of guys and not be raped. [Nigbati mo nse okobo, o fe taja ni now]