Arsene Wenger has finally found his much-needed
defensive midfielder as the 22-year-old prepares to
bring the financial might of his huge worldwide
support to the Gunners
1 Apr 2015 07:15:12
EXCLUSIVE
By Rollo Pafi
Arsenal have taken former
One Direction superstar Zayn
Malik on trial just days
after his sensational departure from the band, Goal
can reveal.
The 22-year-old broke hearts around the globe on
March 25 when he confirmed his exit from the group,
with whom he had enjoyed seismic success.
And, sensing an opportunity to cash in on the lucrative
potential of Malik's legions of devoted fans, the
Gunners are ready to sign him up, subject to
emergency dispensation from the Football Association.
"Charging a measly £97 for one matchday ticket just
isn't enough to compete with the oil-flushed coffers of
Chelsea and Manchester City," Arsenal's Director of
Alternative Strategy, Alf Lopior, told Goal.
"What Zayn brings to the table, even more than his
boyish good looks and upbeat modern pop sound, is a
frankly overwhelming number of diehard supporters
who might not normally intersect with our traditional
fanbase.
"As soon as we get fourth place wrapped up, he'll be
playing 90 minutes every week and the shirts will be
selling faster than the twice-platinum 2013 album
'Midnight Memories'. Man, that one was a toe-tapper.
"Besides, the fans have been asking for a new
defensive midfielder for ages. We're excited to finally
shut them up."
Malik's representatives hope that a sudden switch to
professional football may placate broken-hearted
Directioners who were hurt by the release of a new song
featuring the Bradford-born heart-throb - 'I Won't
Mind', a collaboration with producer Naughty Boy -
just days after professing his desire to become "a
normal 22-year-old" by leaving the band.
Arsenal executives are already in talks with League
One side Doncaster Rovers over the arrangement of a
summer friendly, to be branded the 'Best Match Ever',
in which Malik faces off against his former band-
mate, Louis Tomlinson, who maintains a close
relationship with his beloved hometown club.






Happy April Fool's Day from Goal


source: m.goal.com/x/en-gb/news/10340682