LordReed:


Nothing, I would have had an arranged marriage myself but I discovered that family are just as flawed and fickle as anyone else,might as well make my own choice instead of having to blame someone else for anything.

wtf, then why have you been all up in arms about the topic?

5minsmadness:

wtf, then why have you been all up in arms about the topic?

Gosh man do you actually read my posts at all?

My intro into this discussion was not even based on
whether or not arranged marriages are good or bad. I was after your thought on how love and physical abuse worked in arranged and modern marriage.

I need to ask, do you have something against me?

LordReed:
The number one characteristic of an arranged marriage is that the initial choice is not one the intending couple make but is made for them by family.

I don't agree - if one uses a dating service or the internet or friends introduce a couple, does that make it an arranged marriage?

The choice to marry is always the couples. And in many case the decision to even meet. Although the whole point of having others filter prosepctive spouses is to ensure a high degree of suitability.

LordReed:
A forced marriage goes on to negate any choice either of the intending couple may indicate. This makes forced marriage a SUBSET of arranged marriage.

Per my response immediately above, it does not.

If a couple meet - say randomly and then ask for their parents permission - in lieu of which they will not marry - does that indicate an arranged marriage?

LordReed:
BTW I don't even know why this is an issue as I am not even discussing the merits or lack of.

Neither do I. I'll try harder to read threads through in future


TV

LordReed:


Gosh man do you actually read my posts at all?

My intro into this discussion was not even based on
whether or not arranged marriages are good or bad. I was after your thought on how love and physical abuse worked in arranged and modern marriage.

I need to ask, do you have something against me?

Love exists both in arranged and modern type marriages. I have seen examples of both. Just because a marriage is planned between parents doesn't mean the woman or man is being dragged unwillingly to the altar.
Physical abuse can occur in both arranged and modern type marriages. In both cases there are ways in which physical violence is handled but it is definitely not condoned in either case.



I have nothing against you man, just staying on nairaland keeps one always on the alert for obnoxious foul-mouthed prepubertal pseudo-wise entities. Of which you aren't one.

[size=5pt]***I also have an aversion to the House of Reed but that's another story...[/size]

TV01:

I don't agree - if one uses a dating service or the internet or friends introduce a couple, does that make it an arranged marriage?

The choice to marry is always the couples. And in many case the decision to even meet. Although the whole point of having others filter prosepctive spouses is to ensure a high degree of suitability.

Like I said the way arranged marriage as defined in this thread is one arranged by family while it excludes all other types it is not to say those excluded are not, it just isn't what this thread is about.

Tell me, whose choice is expressed in a forced marriage?

Per my response immediately above, it does not.


If a couple meet - say randomly and then ask for their parents permission - in lieu of which they will not marry - does that indicate an arranged marriage?

I don't understand this. Are you saying if the couple marry without parental consent it is a forced marriage or that parental consent indicates arranged marriage?

5minsmadness:


I have nothing against you man, just staying on nairaland keeps one always on the alert for obnoxious foul-mouthed prepubertal pseudo-wise entities. Of which you aren't one.

OK I was beginning to feel I was in target sights. No wahala Nairaland can do that to a body.

[size=5pt]***I also have an aversion to the House of Reed but that's another story...[/size]

Ahh a GoT fan. Thankfully my moniker is pre-GoT so no affiliation. Are you excited for Sunday?

"Forced marriage is a subset of arranged marriage" ?? Lordreed do you have a 14yr old son? If so, Let's mingle

Oga 5mins... It'll be nice to elaborate to readers your own concept/context of arranged marriage to avoid misunderstanding.

I've been talking about it for over 4 years now and my passion for it. I don't want a camouflaged loser around ma compound.

Ewuro4:
"Forced marriage is a subset of arranged marriage" ?? Lordreed do you have a 14yr old son? If so, Let's mingle

Now I wish had a 14yr old son

PAGAN9JA:


Gods invent gadgets? smh*
i wonder where the Indians, Chinese and Japanese get heir brains from, if they are not worshiping the same Gods i worship in different names.

why the Gods stop me from learning white mans language? its a good tin now. language is good. especially one language of the whites mans (English) which is important for global communication. see, im not a racist so i don't know where you get your opinions from.

relocate to the bush? The Hausa Maguzawa have always been city dwelling people. The Great Hausa Kingdoms and trade routes were forged by us. we are found in many cities as natives. even in old parts of Kano.

speak ill of women? mebe the one that birthed u . sometin went wrong there.


dan banza. mumu. mental patient.

You must be really messed up and confused to come up with this shiit. You obviously lack comprehensive skills. You want to compare your reeetarded gods with that of the chinese? Hahaha. You are a foool. No wonder you have no regard for your mother. If it's not to shout like a mad animal about your mumu gods,your mumu comments would always be about women as if that's all your dumb brain can think of. You must be related to the boko haram stuupid sect that's why you never make meaningful comments on NL except to bash your own mother. Better relocate to the bush and form your own hateful and sick community. Fagg*ot.

PAGAN9JA:


African values? there is no such tin. Africa is not a tribe. every ppl have their own different set of values.


your comment reeks of frustration. u need to visit psychiatrist for treatment.

No such thing as african values but you came here to call your mother a prostitute abi? I said it that you are a mad, raging lunatic. Next time when you come on any thread to spew thrash, put that weed down and think for once in your miserable life. You need psychiatric help but since your pocket is full of holes, you might as well commit suicide. Foolish mallu nigga.

koyyess:
You must be really messed up and confused to come up with this shiit. You obviously lack comprehensive skills. You want to compare your reeetarded gods with that of the chinese? Hahaha. You are a foool. No wonder you have no regard for your mother. If it's not to shout like a mad animal about your mumu gods,your mumu comments would always be about women as if that's all your dumb brain can think of. You must be related to the boko haram stuupid sect that's why you never make meaningful comments on NL except to bash your own mother. Better relocate to the bush and form your own hateful and sick community. Fagg*ot.

bit.ch.

koyyess:
No such thing as african values but you came here to call your mother a prostitute abi? I said it that you are a mad, raging lunatic. Next time when you come on any thread to spew thrash, put that weed down and think for once in your miserable life. You need psychiatric help but since your pocket is full of holes, you might as well commit suicide. Foolish mallu nigga.

bi.tch syndrom.

PAGAN9JA:


bit.ch.

And that's all you've been doing on NL. Bi#ching around like a mad, raging mallu fagg that you really are. Let me catch you on other threads exposing your miserable background and derailing threads.

PAGAN9JA:



bi.tch syndrom.

lol,says the deluded fagg who grew up in a brothel. All the cow dung you've eating has messed up your brain. Come and spew more thrash here. Frustrated Black Arab slave.

koyyess:
lol,says the deluded fagg who grew up in a brothel. All the cow dung you've eating has messed up your brain. Come and spew more thrash here. Frustrated Black Arab slave.

you are always fighting .

smh for an eddiot like you

Avalon316:


you are always fighting .

smh for an eddiot like you

So if I'm an iidiot that always fights and you saw it fit to quote me, what does that make an empty headed fool like you? You are the most stupiid creature ever to walk on the surface of the earth. I pity you more. Fish brained he goat.

koyyess:
So if I'm an iidiot that always fights and you saw it fit to quote me, what does that make an empty headed fool like you? You are the most stupiid creature ever to walk on the surface of the earth. I pity you more. Fish brained he goat.

hoeeeeee

Avalon316:


hoeeeeee

Is that all you've got?Low quality males we have these days...ill willed fa*ggots like you continue to disgrace your race where ever you go. That's why your women will never respect you. Besides being a sperm donor and an atm machine, foolish empty headed tadpoles like you are completely useless. A true definition of a Black Monkey.

koyyess:
Is that all you've got?Low quality males we have these days...ill willed fa*ggots like you continue to disgrace your race where ever you go. That's why your women will never respect you. Besides being a sperm donor and an atm machine, foolish empty headed tadpoles like you are completely useless. A true definition of a Black Monkey.

hoessssss

Avalon316:


hoessssss

Speechless you are?The truth hurts doesn't it?loool....let me catch you on other threads beating your chest like a dirty, stinking baboon that you are. I'll send you right back to the cage where you belong. Black Man wh*re. Don't think of how to change the 1dollar=200+ naira issh. Keep suckn on the white man's dk. Fooool.

edwife:
Yea maybe favorable for men but not for women...

Women had no say when or how they will get married,they didn't even see their supposed spouses until wedding day

Aw c'mon, this isnt true. Dont know how i missed it. Of course both spouses knew who they were going to marry and woukd have caught a glimpse of each other at the stream or farm or village square.

And yes, women/daughters had a say. They also had a chance of being refused but this did not happen often. Same with the men. Marriages weren't arranged on childish sentiment but on grounds of best productivity.

5minsmadness:


Aw c'mon, this isnt true. Dont know how i missed it. Of course both spouses knew who they were going to marry and woukd have caught a glimpse of each other at the stream or farm or village square.

And yes, women/daughters had a say. They also had a chance of being refused but this did not happen often. Same with the men. Marriages weren't arranged on childish sentiment but on grounds of best productivity.

Difference between "arranged" and "forced" marriages.

The "arranged" has degrees; from introduction to those considered suitable, to actually shortlisting candidates. But it is always with agreement of the two involved.

England had its "deb" society, which still exists in soft and hard form today. Jewish culture still utilises Shadchans and Shadchanits to ensure good unions. Some cultures and people are simply particular and discerning about who they marry - rightly so too in my opinion.


TV