LIMUEL:

Why the confusion?

You said he became boring for her? Maybe it's the word you used that confuses me. I'm saying even if they got married, what would have changed to make him less boring? If she left because he was boring, wouldn't that mean that they definitely shouldn't have gotten married then?

It doesn't matter really. We're all just throwing out possible reasons for her departure. She might have had solid reasons, who knows.

7 yrs!!! What were you waiting for?

Brother pls retraced your steps from smoking and drinking because it won't do you any good,just let her go,she is not your wife,that's why she left.D reason why it is so is b/c God in his infinite mercy don't want you to make a mistake in marriage,b/c that could be a gravious mistake in ur life,He knows d end frm d begining.Relax ur God given woman is on her coming,u'll meet her soonest.Godluck.

@poster

I can understand your pain cos i once went thru a similar thing in the past though with a slight difference. I once dated a guy for 7 years, whom i met during my secondary school days. We talked about our future together but at the end of the 7 years, we broke up. REASON? I wasnt as slim as i used to be. I thot it was a joke and It hurt badly when it ended. I felt my world had come to an end. Thanks God i was able to move on after a while. It wasnt easy though.

Today, he hears about me, about how slick, trim and dangerously sexy i look and guess what, he got my number from a close friend and gave me a ring a while back. He was apologising and wishing we never broke up. He regrets the whole thing but it was just too late. I came out of that relationship(years back) as a stronger, sexier, and wiser person and to cap it all, with the best man ( my fiance). He tried to measure up my giving me a hint of how much he earns.


I know it would be difficult at the stage, but it is only natural to feel hurt and feel there is no way forward. Surely, you will come out of it. It is like a wound that needs time to heal. I know it is easier said than done to tell you to try and take your mind off her and focus on something else. It is also ok to cry and hurt too, but pls dont do anything stupid like your drinking and smoking as it wont help you. Get involve in things that you like, it could be your hobbies, your job, whatever it is that you have a passion for. She just wasnt meant for you. LIFE GOES ON.

fs:

No one is saying the girl should just stay if the guy has no intentions. That's why we (at least I) are asking him if they had had conversations about marriage/the future/etc.

Did you happen to miss this part, fs?

Just when i was beginning to think of marriage, another guy walks into her life and suddenly im totally worthless to her. C worst part is the only thing she could tell me is that she was under pressure to get married.

Just when she had someone else coming with their own SERIOUS intentions after 7 years, he just started THINKING of marriage.

He said "if he had known he would have sped up the pricess". In other words, she should have degraded herself by dropping hints that he should propose.

He wasted time and the girl left. Surprised the family even allowed this so called relationship to even last this long

fs:

You said he became boring for her? Maybe it's the word you used that confuses me. I'm saying even if they got married, what would have changed to make him less boring? If she left because he was boring, wouldn't that mean that they definitely shouldn't have gotten married then?

It doesn't matter really. We're all just throwing out possible reasons for her departure. She might have had solid reasons, who knows.

Dear fs seven years can be very boring for an undefined relationship
Dont even try imagining it . It can be very frustrating hanging in for 1,2,3, 7 years without a dream

Just when i was beginning to think of marriage, another guy walks into her life and suddenly im totally worthless to her. Cant even understand what is happening.

ok since ure already thinking of marriage mayb it shows u got d means to put it into actualization. why not bring this issue up and work towards it not cos ure really frightned of loosing her but cos u just want to move on. Haba 7years u try nah. if she is still fronting and not intrested then call it a day. oh and stop drinking its bad for your liver.

7yrs! for God sake what were u thinking, sevennnnnnnnnn 

Common theres nothing to say to u because u had the opportunity.

Competition makes us better,

If one cnt stand competition we dont go further.

sori bro

Just take heart its 1 of dose things no die 4 notin life is worth living ur own will come. (ur real wife)

KarmaMod:

Did you happen to miss this part, fs?

Just when she had someone else coming with their own SERIOUS intentions after 7 years, he just started THINKING of marriage.

He said "if he had known he would have sped up the pricess". In other words, she should have degraded herself by dropping hints that he should propose.

He wasted time and the girl left. Surprised the family even allowed this so called relationship to even last this long

Karma, I understand what you're saying. I'll just disagree with your suprise that their family allowed this to happen, because personally I don't think it's their family's business, but that's just me. We're not talking about people in their 30s/40s here, are we? I don't know about the girl "degrading" herself to hint about marriage. All I'm saying is that they both should have been talking about it. I have no idea who brought up marriage first in my relationship, it just probably came up. As a relationship progresses, it is my understanding that the 2 individuals involved would have very good communication with each other, there'll be no pretense/forming/what have you and from there talks about the future would come up. But I realilze I probably live in a fairy tale land, where people can't have open, honest conversations, in what I assume is a trusting relationship.

When he said he just started thinking about marriage, I took it as he wanted to start actual plans to get married, not that they had never talked about the subject in 7 years. If that's the case, then well, I understand why the girl left. I still would like to know what age they were when they started dating.

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LIMUEL:

Dear fs seven years can be very boring for an undefined relationship
Dont even try imagining it . It can be very frustrating hanging in for 1,2,3, 7 years without a dream

I don't know. The couple I know that had a 7 (actually I think it was 8, not sure) relationship, got married last year and they are/were not bored. But they talked to each other and knew what their eventual plans were. and were definitely not in an undefined relationship.

why should go for such a long trip?

7 years, what?

are you ok?

why wasting her precious time for God sake?

if you are not married why 7 years?

I NEED TO SLAP people like you (just kiding)

WELL, MY BROTHER SORRY,

@topic

This story is way to familiar to me and it hits home. You waited too late brother. Drinking and smoking is not going to solve the problem it will only turn-off potential mates. It will be hard to get over this situation but first you need to fully understand what went wrong. We all learn from our mistakes in turn makes us a better person. That's life. However, pray that God will give you the strength to carry during this hard transition. I wish you the best with all my heart

For all you single men and boys reading this topic. , READ AND TAKE LESSONS!!!!!!!!

OSE77:

why should go for such a long trip?

7 years, what?

are you ok?

why wasting her precious time for God sake?

if you are not married why 7 years?

I NEED TO SLAP people like you (just kiding)

WELL, MY BROTHER SORRY,

She probably did you a favor,if she hadn't this year would have marked it 8th,and next year 9th and so on,
and you still wouldn't have had a clue of how she felt -action speaks louder than words.

fs:

I don't know. The couple I know that had a 7 (actually I think it was 8, not sure) relationship, got married last year and they are/were not bored. But they talked to each other and knew what their eventual plans were. and were definitely not in an undefined relationship.

fs,
You never give up
There are always exceptions

dunno what to say but this, NOW AM MORE SCARED OF WOMEN!!!!!

LIMUEL:

fs,
You never give up
There are always exceptions

lol, you're right, I never give up. You made my point though. There are always exceptions, that's what I'm saying. You were saying 7 years is way too long and I'm saying it might/might not be.

fs:

lol, you're right, I never give up. You made my point though. There are always exceptions, that's what I'm saying. You were saying 7 years is way too long and I'm saying it might/might not be.

You win
Hope this settles it
ha ha ha

LIMUEL:

You win
Hope this settles it
ha ha ha

Yes!
Wasn't trying to be a pest though.

fs:

Yes!
Wasn't trying to be a pest though.

Pest ,no that could not have crossed my mind
I was enjoying every bit of the debate

What would a girl be doing with a man for 7years??

@chika
Same thing a man would be doing with a woman for 7 years.

Guy i quite appreciate your pains because i have been there,i was into a relatnship for 7 years also and was eventually dump.

Please if you must listen to me just listen.

This is the period in life that you need to be more serious and up and doing especially in your career or school if your re a student,drinking and smoking must not come in now. This is the time to work real hard, aim at climbing to that Zenith in life.

You need to forget about her as other contributors have advised,put your self together so that you will become relevant in the scheme of things general,If you continue drinking,smoking and end up making a nuisance out of your self if she meets you years to come she ill be very happy and have cause for thanksgiving that she did not end up with you.

If you become focus and eventually make a big boy out of your self.I bet you she,her friends and family members will still have high regards and respect for you.

I was in same shoes three years ago.but I have growned into a responsible personality in my locality (the area i grew up).I am aware of several comments of regrets from this lady and her people.Recently i was even sent an invitation for the elder sister wedding that means I am still respected.

Pls stop killing your self softly and move on with you life. The only problem i have and still having is not getting a suitable replacement as at now but that ill soon come to pass.

I love this forum.the last time i had issues the advised me accordingly and i heeded to the series of advise.(Pls listen to us)

Man, i really feel ur pain, But come to think of it, what if she left u when u in marriage? Na him be say u go dey sleep for legend company.
Her tellin u dat she's gettin pressurized is jus 2get u outta her side; besides, u never made a mistake by not tellin her u wan2 marry her. It's not always good tellin a girl u will marry her when u are stil not very sure of it (marriage) in de next few yrs.
Take heart, she may eventually get back 2u, but dat doesn't mean she's ur own.
If u ask me, i'll say she's not de one for u! Jus take heart.

This love thing is something else o. I have been in love o but the things I read on nairaland make me wonder if most people are not mistaking love for madness. Take it easy abeg. It was never love. Focus on something else. Will you now die because of her. Abeg be a man. There are many other girls out there

@ Outstrip.
It really is something else isn't it.
The type of things one reads about is a topic for another day.

pele o take heart ehen!

Why are people not advocating that he "kills" the girlfriend like they were doing on this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-715203.0.html

Bump