RoyalBlak007:
do you weed?

aknopic:
My name is akinwunmi am a student studying law.
I ave a huge problem relating with people especially girls
This is how the problem goes
when a girl talks to me, I feel difficulty replying, I just mumble words like I don't know how to speak good eng.
When i talk I just feel sth restraining my vocal cord
My movement is also not leftout, I just feel like I am not the one moving and thereby becoming absent minded.


Also when am about to talk to someone I feel like sth is in my head, my eyes will get dry, I get a feeling of mouth of odour all these block me from passing info thereby leading to BLACKOUT.


My public speaking is not also leftout. I feel pressured all arnd my body wen I am about to speak
I don't know if there's any one here that can help please I don't want my life and career to be ruined just because of this.

Ephemmm:


Dear Akinwumi,

I have been in your shoe and my situation was worse than yours when I was in school too, despite the fact that I was among the best students in my department as at then. I could have not known the solution to offer, but I am delighted to learn that you were still in school studying: this means you still have 100% means of overcoming this predicament. As at then, I was timid and very hesitating in the choice of words to the extent that I cannot face a single person when communicating.


If you are an introvert like me, it is normal. But guess what! I overcame this problem successfully to the amazement of even my father, colleagues, and relatives. But mind you, I took some steps which I would like to underscore here. I know you are brilliant and comfortable when it comes to written skills, but lags behind when it comes to public speaking, but you will be astonished that I became the best student when it comes to public speaking in my department within three months.

The best solution in my own opinion is for you to avoid limiting your learning to the four walls of classrooms. In school, try to take up leadership roles even if it is a course/football/classroom captain: there is nothing hindering you from becoming a legislator or President whether at your departmental level or at SUG level. This will force you to face people, address, socialize, and communicate often.

Let me use my own situation as an example. I was so talented when it comes to academics to the extent that the scholar of my set knows that I have something upstairs more than him during my undergraduate days without recognition. Unless mandated, I will never stand up to answer any questions being asked by the lecturer even with 100% assurance of knowing it. I can be inside my room for complete three days if there is power supply on the first hand, while I can stay within a room for one week if this is coupled with good "old school" music on the other hand.

I was wallowing in this predicament when some drama started unfolding: firstly, I was among those who were chosen to represent their department when the SUG election is to be conducted. Come and see how I was flourishing among my peers when debating issues though my response will either be so sort or whispered to the ears of the person sitting next to me to be communicated. But with the passage of time, I have stepped up within the shortest period of time. From there, I became the Secretary of the body in that year and the election just ended.

On getting back to my department, my colleagues noticed a little change - my leadership and communicational skills has greatly improved. As a result of this, I was nominated to go for the Departmental President willy-nilly despite the fact that two of my mates have been in the race for the past two years.

D-day comes, I worn the election with two days of campaigning with great margin to my personal astonishment. By occupying this post, I have to meet students during electioneering campaign, I have to face them and communicate to ascertain their expectations: I have to prepare speech during induction ceremony for freshers, during sport I motivates, during debates I repose confidence, and during inter-departmental meetings, I argues. In the end, my department was awarded the best department on campus as at then.

This was how I came out of my shell up till date and it has been extra-ordinary: though the traces of being an acute introvert is still traceable in me up till date.

In short, Practise! Practise! and Practise! speaks without fear of being wrong: perfection is not attainable within a day. Also, some books were helpful then though I might not be able to remember them in-to-to:

1. The virile leader
2. Why you act the way you do
3. How to make friend and influence people by Stephen Covey

God bless you.

aknopic:
My name is akinwunmi am a student studying law.
I ave a huge problem relating with people especially girls
This is how the problem goes
when a girl talks to me, I feel difficulty replying, I just mumble words like I don't know how to speak good eng.
When i talk I just feel sth restraining my vocal cord
My movement is also not leftout, I just feel like I am not the one moving and thereby becoming absent minded.


Also when am about to talk to someone I feel like sth is in my head, my eyes will get dry, I get a feeling of mouth of odour all these block me from passing info thereby leading to BLACKOUT.


My public speaking is not also leftout. I feel pressured all arnd my body wen I am about to speak
I don't know if there's any one here that can help please I don't want my life and career to be ruined just because of this.