For more than 2 years now my husband does not sleep in our bed room. I have tried many times to make him come back to the bed room but he will just try for few days and go back.

There is DSTV in the room, Air conditioner etc. I don't know what to do again. Please can somebody advise me on what to do.

sorry to hear this. you can begin to tackle this by going back to what happened the period he first started sleeping there. something upset him or he doesnt want to give you belle.

i hate people who dont forgive easily

Are you guys are on good terms? How clean tidy and peaceful is your bedroom ( i mean i hope you are not a nag)? Is it well ventilated?How do you have sex then? I beleive there is more to your story than you are spilling, a man will not just get up one day and say am tired of my own bed, Give us the details then we can help.

I'm sure you know why he's sleeping there.
If you want him to stop sleeping there, do something about it

I don't see anything wrong with that if you guys aren't fighting. Why not join him in the sitting room.

Try to think of what you know that you normally do that make him decide not to sleep in your bedroom anymore, from there you can persuade him and make sure you stop doing such thing,

If his scare of pregnant, then may be you should go and do family planning, but the most of it is try to know the cause of what is happening, then you provide solution to it.

,,,

Take the Congo to him in the living room. It doesn't matter where the Congo is polished, what matter is how shine the Congo is.

Kai!!!!!

na real wa for this case.

sparta:

Are you guys are on good terms? How clean tidy and peaceful is your bedroom ( i mean i hope you are not a nag)? Is it well ventilated?How do you have sex then? I beleive there is more to your story than you are spilling, a man will not just get up one day and say am tired of my own bed, Give us the details then we can help.

Totally wid u on these. . . cos i feel like theres more to it than meets the eye/ears!!

.

Tell us the reason and we can help you solve the problem.~~I am pretty sure that there is another part to the story.SO CONFESS!!

Thank you all for your contributions.  I have asked him several times why he prefers sleeping in the living room, he said it was because of my little child of about 2 years and he feels more comfortable there but I told him if he does not like lying on the bed with me and the child he can put another foam on the floor of the bedroom, I had to take the child to the children's room.  After sleeping in the bedroom for few days he went back to the living room.  I then ignored him.

There is television with DSTV, air conditioner and the room is well ventilated.

TINAOGE:

Thank you all for your contributions. I have asked him several times why he prefers sleeping in the living room, he said it was because of my little child of about 2 years and he feels more comfortable there but I told him if he does not like lying on the bed with me and the child he can put another foam on the floor of the bedroom, I had to take the child to the children's room. After sleeping in the bedroom for few days he went back to the living room. I then ignored him.

I think he has a problem with you or the way you sleep.~~He needs to tell you unless his problems wont be solve.~~~

@poster
There is more to this than you are telling us. I mean, a man starts sleeping in the living
room without any due course? Lets go back to the very beginning, what really happened?
Cast your mind back, and tell us from the very beginning.

Maybe he's under pressure (of working too hard) and always feeling
he has not been sleeping well enough.
Waking up around 3 to 'shine Congo' might be difficult with a little bloke who
is learning faster than normal 2 year old 'pikin'.
Just talk him out of the situation sha!

maybe he has caught STD and doesnt want to infect you.

Madam, there is no smoke without fire. I thought you talked about your child, please if i may ask, is that child from both of you? If so, that cant be an excuse. Sound him out, if he wants a divorce and hear what he will say. Its very rare for you not to want to stay beside a woman you love. I think he is acting up and he probably has something else bothering him he doesnt want to talk about. Madam no matter what his wahala is 2 years is a lot of time to stay without sleeping beside you abeg.

To know whether he still wants you, stay out of the house one night and spend that night with a friend or a relative and see his reaction when you come back home, that could help you know the way forward. Dont be afraid, as bitter as it sounds, its better to divorce than to live a life of misery with one man that doesnt love or appreciate you. Life is too short.

@tatooboy

The boy is from him. We have four children together. He only comes to the bed room once in 6 - 7 months when he wants to make love to me. In fact the last time he slept in our bedroom was six months ago before I had my last baby who is 6 months. Am not after sleeping in the same room and making love. But the husband and wife relationship. The baby now can sleep on her bed if he chooses to sleep in the bed room with me. Am so bothered because when there are visitors in the house, he would be lie in the living room with them is what bothers me most. The visitors would think we are having misunderstanding.

I think may be he is having extra marital affairs outside that is why he does not like sleeping in the bedroom because the girls may be calling him late at night and he would not want me to listen to their conversation.

Do u snore heavily? Do u fight Royal Rumble while sleeping? U dey mess too much for night? Little things like dis can be d reason. Berra talk d truth. As u have noticed, alot of ppl here are willing to help . . . _{(Said with a smile, don't take it personal)}

TINAOGE:

@tatooboy

The boy is from him. We have four children together. He only comes to the bed room once in 6 - 7 months when he wants to make love to me. In fact the last time he slept in our bedroom was six months ago before I had my last baby who is 6 months. Am not after sleeping in the same room and making love. But the husband and wife relationship. The baby now can sleep on her bed if he chooses to sleep in the bed room with me. Am so bothered because when there are visitors in the house, he would be lie in the living room with them is what bothers me most. The visitors would think we are having misunderstanding.

I think may be he is having extra marital affairs outside that is why he does not like sleeping in the bedroom because the girls may be calling him late at night and he would not want me to listen to their conversation.

Madam, now ur talking. You already have 4 children. I am talking from a man's point of view. Your instinct cant be wrong, women have intuition. If you think your hubby is already having extra-marital affairs, then his mind is drifting already. 4 pikins (sorry i mean offsprings no be joke). You have to be bold about this, you have to talk with him, always make your happiness 1st priority.

What i also think is that its not the baby that is the wahala, he did not just start this extra-marital affair, you must have accused him before.

If you think you still need his love, then you have to talk to him otherwise tell him you want to spend some time out of the house since he doesnt need you there anymore. 6-7 months sex interval na madness.

TINAOGE:

@tatooboy

The boy is from him. We have four children together. He only comes to the bed room once in 6 - 7 months when he wants to make love to me. In fact the last time he slept in our bedroom was six months ago before I had my last baby who is 6 months. Am not after sleeping in the same room and making love. But the husband and wife relationship. The baby now can sleep on her bed if he chooses to sleep in the bed room with me. Am so bothered because when there are visitors in the house, he would be lie in the living room with them is what bothers me most. The visitors would think we are having misunderstanding.

I think may be he is having extra marital affairs outside that is why he does not like sleeping in the bedroom because the girls may be calling him late at night and he would not want me to listen to their conversation.

he is another made and manufactured in naija small minded man. i am tempted to believe he is already seeing some other useless woman somewhere.

does he play with his kids too? be strong and seek support and counselling if you have to.
i pray God help you and your kids. these things are just too easy for people like him.

Thank you all for your contributions. I have asked him several times why he prefers sleeping in the living room, he said it was because of my little child of about 2 years and he feels more comfortable there but I told him if he does not like lying on the bed with me and the child he can put another foam on the floor of the bedroom, I had to take the child to the children's room. After sleeping in the bedroom for few days he went back to the living room. I then ignored him.

There is television with DSTV, air conditioner and the room is well ventilated.

The boy is from him. We have four children together. He only comes to the bed room once in 6 - 7 months when he wants to make love to me. In fact the last time he slept in our bedroom was six months ago before I had my last baby who is 6 months. Am not after sleeping in the same room and making love. But the husband and wife relationship. The baby now can sleep on her bed if he chooses to sleep in the bed room with me. Am so bothered because when there are visitors in the house, he would be lie in the living room with them is what bothers me most. The visitors would think we are having misunderstanding.

I think may be he is having extra marital affairs outside that is why he does not like sleeping in the bedroom because the girls may be calling him late at night and he would not want me to listen to their conversation.



Now i see what his supposed reason is. Look dont just ignore him you have to be strong and fight for your home. Confront him but do it subtly and calmly, if he wont bulge join him in the sitting room. Lets see if he will move to the garage, why would a man leave his wife a mother of four alone in the bedroom. I believe there is a problem and he should spill it to you so you can have peace of mind. I am sure you have been married up to 10 years, you should be growing not retrogressing. More importantly be prayerful, cry out to God and if it is a case of another woman, believe me God will fight your battles. There are so many of those husband snacthers out there, some of them even have the guts to come to nairaland and say "Help am falling in love with a married man" instead of saying "help i need deliverance am breaking another woman's home" May God see you through and keep your family together.

.

@TINAOGE,
THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST SYMPATHETIC STORY I EVER READ IN NAIRALAND
AND YOUR STATEMENT SHOWS YOU ARE NOT HAPPY AT ALL. AS A MAN I WILL NEVA DO THAT FOR WHO I WILL MARRY. IT SEEMS TO ME YOU ARE ALSO A VERY RESERVED PERSON TOO.

TELL GOD ABOUT IT AND I WILL ADVISE YOU TO SLEEP WITH HIM ANYWHERE HE WANT TO SLEEP.

IT IS CUSTOMS AND TRADITION TO SLEEP IN THE BEDROOM BUT TO ME IT IS ROMANTIC AND LOVELY TO SLEEP ANY WHERE ELSE WITH YOUR HUSBAND OR ONES WIFE.

madam, don't take it lightly oh. if you think another woman is eating your yam, you better start acting now.

on your side my sister, 4 is enough just in case. no more babies so that you can take care of yourself and your kids. you see, he has already started to take care of himself. be prepare emotionally and otherwise. as couples he only comes in to have sex and the result is preg eh. abeg it is abt time you start taking care of yourself by making sure no more children. focus on yourself and your kids for now and let him do what he wants. once you are ready to take it out, am sure as a woman you know what to do.

forget the efulefu,he has issues.
Please don't listen to people advising you to do this and that when the problem is not yours.
I hope you have a career.
Looks like that marriage is not his priority

the guy obviously is no longer  into u


even me sef,though we sleep on d same bed,he still wants me close to him   i wake up squashed on his side

now seriously,hope u work,and not the stay home housewife type,if u r,go get urself a job,u will be needing the returns pretty soon

He only comes to the bed room once in 6 - 7 months when he wants to make love to me

Wow.  

It's highly likely he'd\a getting it outside. How are you surviving sef with this once in a year sex and the only time you have sex, you end up with morning sickeness a week later. O ga  

First thing is first, you need to either get on the pill or get your tubes tied. Secondly, your last kid is 2 so shouldnt be sleeping in your room anymore

Third, next time he comes to you, you make him talk instead and make it clear how this behavior bothers you.

Sex twice a yr only?
how do you cope?