mitchyy:


Thanks but no thanks, my dog, Elmo is taken. He doesn't have any space in his heart to love another.

Wait till he sees me with a can of Pedigree or K-9 and we'll see if you will still say those same words. He's cute

mitchyy:
AccelerateTV


Recently I came to the conclusion that a lot of our men are no longer eager to get married. I believe they have their reasons and like most of them say, they never have enough money for the wedding day and maybe afterwards.

That makes me realize that we may not have prepared our men enough for marriage, to help them understand what measure of blessings are poured down on the man who chooses to take the bull by the horn and trust God enough to go into this institution that has been ordained by God himself.

I am yet to see anyone who consulted God before getting married, and didn’t pull through despite all the lessons that we learn on the way which give us room to grow up.

I can understand some of the reasons why men don’t want to marry these days, but one I find strange is when I discover that some men don’t actually want to get married because they are ashamed and very uncomfortable about the size of their penis.

One of the many texts I have been bombarded with lately says :“Dear sir, can a small Penis satisfy a woman with big buttocks? How many inches is long, and what do you consider as short. You may flash me and I will call you so you can tell me”.

I later found out he has not thought of getting married, because he thinks he will be ridiculed for the rest of his life. What do you make of that? Meanwhile I will like to take you through some of the other reasons why some men don’t get married.


1. MEN DON’T HAVE TO GET MARRIED TO HAVE SEX TODAY

A lot of men have realized that it is easier to get sex than in times past, when women insisted on getting married before sex. I am a man and I can tell you that a lot of women have lost it when it comes to keeping themselves whole.

I am not so sure who is more promiscuous these days, because it seems women offer sex like its going out of fashion these days . There are women, who are sleeping with about 4 men at the same time and would probably accommodate more if they can.

When women come to me to tell me how their husband was caught in Adultery, and seek my opinion on if they should leave him, I always reassure them that most men who commit adultery these days, don’t go out looking for these ladies, but that the ladies seem to be everywhere making themselves available and have removed the fun we men used to have chasing them.

When men realize that they can have all the sex they want without getting married, they just don’t see the point of GETTING MARRIED.


2. WOMEN ARE READY TO CO-HABIT WITH MEN THEY ARE NOT MARRIED TO

I believe it must have come to your attention now that a lot of men and women are living together now without being married to each other. It came to my attention through my counseling sessions.

By the time I ask the lady or man where the husband or wife will be right now, they go like “actually Jerome, I think there is one more thing you need to know and that is we are not legally married, but are just living together”.

Now that blows my mind, because you are not legally married, you are living together and also have a child or two, in Africa, yes in Africa!

I know some of these starts on Campus where a lot of girls are just not staying in their hostels, but have moved in with their boyfriends who probably have a room at the BQ of the lecturer’s Quarters on Campus or in their rented apartment in town, and most of their school mates consider it acceptable.

Please note that this is also happening amongst those who profess to be religious on Campus as well. So continuing in that way of life isn’t a problem later. How do you expect these men to consider getting married when they have found a short cut to it?


3. MEN BELIEVE THE POSSIBILITY OF DIVORCE IS HIGH THESE DAYS, SO WHY SPEND ON MARRIAGE, AND LATER ON DIVORCE

The rate of divorce is on the increase and it carries a lot of financial implications with it. So the guys figure out why marry if it can cost you more than having a family and catering for them at the end.


4. MOST MEN DON’T LIKE THE CHILD BEARING PART

Most men today don’t express “burning desire” for children, saying they are not ready yet. Another factor may be at play, “They know they will have to be there equally with a wife and provide hands-on child care.”

young men playing video games

5. SOME MEN DON’T LIKE THE CHANGE THAT COMES WITH MARRIAGE

Most of the time you will realize that a man just wants a wife “to look good, provide great sex, join in his recreational activities and tell him he is wonderful, while the Women’s requirements are much broader.” They want affection.

They want to feel loved. They want a great conversationalist, a man who is funny, a good father for their kids, someone who is attractive, a good sexual partner, a man who is ambitious and successful and God fearing.

And most men are simply not” all these things. For them to do this, a lot of changes may be required which some men are not just ready for.


6. SOME MEN KEEP LOOKING FOR THAT PERFECT WOMAN TO MARRY

Let me describe a SOUL MATE using what D.H. Lawrence said; “You are the Call and I am the Answer. You are the Wish, and I the Fulfillment. You are the Night, and I the Day.

What else? It is perfect enough. It is complete. You and I.” What I realize here is that you may never find a compliment until you are capable of complimenting. Most of the time, we are looking for someone who will compliment us without the intention of complimenting anyone.

I guess we may wait for a perfect soul mate forever until we change our attitude and go out to look for someone to compliment.


7. NO ONE IS REALLY PUTTING HIM UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY

Men face little social pressure to marry, compared to what the females have to face. So at the end of the day, they don’t think it’s a big deal after all. One reason young men balk at marriage is “they don’t yet get it”, the problem is they just don’t realize what is in it for them.

We have not done a good job of selling marriage to men. They don’t know all the good things that will change in their lives. Married men are healthier than single men, wealthier, they live longer and happier lives, they have more sex, they have somebody who knows them, and tolerates them anyway.


8. MEN DON’T REALLY WANT TO BE WITH A SINGLE MOTHER IN MARRIAGE.

Most of the time single men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children for a lot of reasons and one of them being that his family will object to it, the other reason could be that he begins to wonder how many men she has been with and abortions she has had before being forced to have the child with her now, and yet another reason can be that, he is not sure he will be comfortable with her having any form of contact with the father or fathers of the child/children when he is married to her.

Men feel this way forgetting that they can be worse when we talk in terms of morality. It’s more of the case of the pot calling the kettle black. Unfortunately they get away with it, because no one is holding them to ransom.


9. SOME MEN DON’T LIKE RESPONSIBILITIES.

So some men say, but it’s just another way to avoid becoming a responsible person. What a lot of men may not realize is that marriage is a vision that is bigger than who they are and all they have to do is give themselves to it with the Almighty God as a witness and then begin building together with their wives as they obtain favor from the Lord.

Men have to realize that when we are children age 0-11 we have privileges, then from age 12-21 we retain our privileges through responsibilities e.g. if you want to take your father’s car out, be ready to refill the tank after using up the fuel in it otherwise, don’t ask for it the next day since you are not ready to be responsible.

Then from age 21- what we have left is responsibilities, and a lot of us fear that, I mean being responsible. So you find a lot of irresponsible men out there, who can change if we start to prepare our younger generation for the real life out there.

10. SO MANY MEN DON’T WANT TO MISS OUT ON THE SINGLE LIFE, WHICH IS WHY EVEN SOME WHO ARE MARRIED, STILL LIVE LIKE THEY ARE SINGLE.

Well, some people just don’t want to grow up, do they?

SOURCE: http://www.acceleratetv.com/2015/04/why-your-boyfriend-may-not-be-in-a-hurry-to-become-your-husband/

nice write up.
infact the best article ive read today apart from machiavelli's discourses in the first decade of livy.
number 5 and 7 appear most interesting and real. and even peculiar.
im scared of marriage for reasons I dont even know.

Nice article. Bt I do wonder atimes why some people just comment out of context. Honestly, if you don't get the message, you don't have to talk.

mitchyy:
Try and understand how Nairaland works before making undue accusations. The article above was posted on a site and I simply shared on Nairaland as obviously seen at the end of the article where credit was given. How did my gender come into play here?

Thanks for explaining to the olodo how it works

I was here

mitchyy:

The inability to care for kids should not be a reason not to marry. I know so many couples who get married and then wait for some few years when they've saved enough before having kids. You are not obligated to have kids immediately you marry. The wise ones count their cost first, the unwise ones rush to have kids and let them suffer, the unserious ones refuse to marry because they are scared of the expenses of having kids.

You see as you dey think?


So na unserious people no won marry abi?

So in order word, na serious people dey marry. And na thesame serious people dey unmarried by.


Like serious. Change your mindset

Viciyus:


You see as you dey think?


So na unserious people no won marry abi?

So in order word, na serious people dey marry. And na thesame serious people dey unmarried by.


Like serious. Change your mindset

Like seriously, you need to practice the art of reading before thinking. I specified that "unserious ones refuse to marry BECAUSE (in other words, with the excuse that) they don't have money to raise a child. Whatever happened to marrying and saving towards having a child?

prince3009:


Wait till he sees me with a can of Pedigree or K-9 and we'll see if you will still say those same words. He's cute

He'll munch it, lick his mouth, wipe his nose and come back to me. #Win

mitchyy:

Oh really? Never knew you can make out someone's gender simply by reading an article he/she shared on a social network.
Anyway, its Nairaland, so its the norm for people to do anything to discredit/backlash an op just for the sake of gaining likes

Exactly but it's okay. One thing i know for sure is you're single. So lots of guys are here to get your attention especially the critics

So, expect more of that but don't take it too deep into your heart.

DeeTus:
Exactly but it's okay. One thing i know for sure is you're single. So lots of guys are here to get your attention especially the critics

So, expect more of that but don't take it too deep into your heart.

Lol. Do you need a copy of my wedding IV?

mitchyy:

Like seriously, you need to practice the art of reading before thinking. I specified that "unserious ones refuse to marry BECAUSE (in other words, with the excuse that) they don't have money to raise a child. Whatever happened to marrying and saving towards having a child?

There are many reasons most guys refuse to marry.
But that doesn't make them unserious.

Were are the decent women to marry?

For nigeria, most women na second hand products

Mind you, marriage is not all about having children as you made emphasis of.

You rely have wrong view about marriage.

mitchyy:

Lol. Do you need a copy of my wedding IV?

Sure, you're a stunner! Lol.

michaeltotti:
it is how the girl if nowadays do their self nw....plz answer this question with sincerity... if u are allowed to taste what u want to buy..will u buy it?


some girl will cohabit...I know ur flaw,everything bad about u,av enjoyed what I should enjoy when we get married...tell me why I should marry that lady?

Yes...d fact that I'm given a piece of suya to thirst does not stop me from buying it

Besides,there was somewhere in d post where it was said dt married men,look fresher,wealthier,enjoy more s.ex and live longer...I'm sure u'll want of all of ds too.

Viciyus:


There are many reasons most guys refuse to marry.
But that doesn't make them unserious.

Were are the decent women to marry?

For nigeria, most women na second hand products

Mind you, marriage is not all about having children as you made emphasis of.

You rely have wrong view about marriage.

Its sad to see that we are saying the same thing but you obviously don't see it. Marriage is not all about having children that is why I said men who use "I don't have money to raise a child" as an excuse not to marry are UNSERIOUS. Marriage is not solely for the purpose of having kids and I agree with that 100 percent

ziqqz:


I beg your pardon o
Quite naturally, it is expected that it would mean a goldmine to the feminine species.
Make una carry go jhoor. We dey here dey mind awa biznizz

Actually,it should be a source of information also to d male specie or as u put it a "goldmine" to both parties.

Don't mind me,I'm not related to d Op...just saying.

AriDsexy:


Actually,it should be a source of information also to d male specie or as u put it a "goldmine" to both parties.

Don't mind me,I'm not related to d Op...just saying.

Does it really matter if you're related to her?

mitchyy:


Its sad to see that we are saying the same thing but you obviously don't see it. Marriage is not all about having children that is why I said men who use "I don't have money to raise a child" as an excuse not to marry are UNSERIOUS. Marriage is not solely for the purpose of having kids and I agree with that 100 percent

I rest my case.

DeeTus:
Does it really matter if you're related to her?

Mr sabinus,dt's me trying to joke

mitchyy:

Try and understand how Nairaland works before making undue accusations. The article above was posted on a site and I simply shared on Nairaland as obviously seen at the end of the article where credit was given. How did my gender come into play here?

like ya Dog! which breed is she, she right?

AriDsexy:


Actually,it should be a source of information also to d male specie or as u put it a "goldmine" to both parties.

Don't mind me,I'm not related to d Op...just saying.

On the contrary! I'm tempted to believe you abd OP are actually roommates.
Howdy?

AriDsexy:


Actually,it should be a source of information also to d male specie or as u put it a "goldmine" to both parties.

Don't mind me,I'm not related to d Op...just saying.

On the contrary! I'm tempted to believe you and OP are actually roommates.
Howdy?

Rubbish rubb Sh rubbish...come and see hw many men re married and 199.999% irresponsible.

AriDsexy:


Mr sabinus,dt's me trying to joke

Hahahaha it's okay. No problem.

Jetjacky:
like ya Dog! which breed is she, she right?

He. He's a mix of Lhasa and Samoyed and his name is Elmo

BabaAlabi:
How will guys be ready for marriage when Nigerian girls dey find who go take care of ALLL their needs. Let's face it, marriage these days is based on a financial basis and many guys are not ready for that. When girls start to be independent and respectful at the same time then marriage will come.
#Na lean on me dem talk no be press me die.

Lol @lean on me, no be press me die

" what measure of blessings are poured down on the man who chooses to take the bull by the horn "
Clarification please...
Is it that you must marry for the blessings to come?
what blessings are these?

PLEASE, since MARRIAGE is now EMPLOYMENT... ..MEN should always ensure that LADIES present a COMPLETE ORIGINAL COPY of their CVs..

2nd class upper and above are ELIGIBLE..

Although, I still THINK marriage is not for EVERY LADY

1. Some young men are bread winners of their family and are contributing to educate their sibbling/looking after their parents. Getting married could disrupt this natural process.

2. Some men also are accomodating members of their immediate and extended family and can't just ask them to leave so he can married especially if the apartment isn't large enough.

3. Most ladies seem desperate to get married when its obvious they don't have a decent means of livelihood and this puts a guy off.

4. Marriage saddles a man with too many burdens and in some instances have been said to be archaic and oppressive.

5. Women may not understand this but men want great companionship with secure and confident women. Sadly, the decent looking ones come with a default mindset that they are entitled to every good thing while the rotters act way too insecure and clingy which could quench the flame.

6. As a result of bad parenting, most girls nowadays are just spoilt brats who think they are doing you a favour by agreeing to hang out with you. So they keep hopping from man to man hoping to make a good catch.

7. The metropolitan nature of certain cities make the cost of settling down and raising a family highly prohibitive.

8. No jobs. After all is said and done, love won't buy pampers and baby's milk.

9. Poverty is the second worst disease and this affects both man and woman.

10. Health challenges and genetic makeups could limit a man/woman's options when it comes to getting married.

mitchyy:

Like seriously, you need to practice the art of reading before thinking. I specified that "unserious ones refuse to marry BECAUSE (in other words, with the excuse that) they don't have money to raise a child. Whatever happened to marrying and saving towards having a child?

money is agreeably a big factor.
but if you can view life from where we stand: you will realise that money is a not the most important harbinger to the idea of getting married.
there is so much about it that cannot be explained away in one solid article.
women I must tell you: are very difficult to please. and any man who determines to please them should at least fear the prospects of getting hen-pecked and emasculated. our fathers didnt experience the kind of women we have today. These ones are so artificial, unrealistic, rude, ungrateful, materialistic, (that is when they are under you economically) or arrogant, competitive, distrustful, nagging, unbending, unsubmissive and many other characteristics that will foever put the man in a position to 'bear patience' in order to hold the family together. today's woman is not the ideal choice of an average peace loving easy going friendly man who likes a simple and uncomplicated life, void of malice and cold war. my colleagues in the diaspora have confirmed my worries about african women and their dirty pride and nagging. put in a world where the choice abounds, then white women may even make better partners than women from my own clime just as id pick a yoruba woman anyday above a woman from my state; edo. staying outside marriage in the overall view is a lot easier for an african man under 35 years of age. I know its not the best. if all these my assertion about women are false; then been single after 25 years for a man would be very bad. but because of the realities of this world(in the sense that an average 25 year old man may not yet have started 'living' and experienced enough as it is that experience furnishes maturity) and the fact that only few women are not bad as described above; then it takes prudence to stay where you feel firm and happy untill you can see and think clearly enough for the next move.

nice...its sooo true.

#6 is a significant problem i must confess.

folabayo1:
Na una sabi
If men like make dem remain single for life
Ko kan aiye

Make we dey watch ourselves naw and see who go cry last