By TOYIN IDOWU

Marriage is a union of two or more people that creates a family tie and carries legal social rights and responsibilities. In this family tie, the man is seen and regarded as the head, not only the head but the driver, the protector and the provider. He is held responsible for key decisions made and whatever the marriage results into, he is being held accountable for it. For any marriage to be successful and achieve the above mentioned purposes, there must be understanding that stems from the fact that the two people involved are getting along with each other well. The man is tasked with the responsibility of pulling the woman along; he is expected to lead while the woman follows. However, some people can’t just get along with each other because the cogent determining factor is the age disparity. Quite a lot have associated the role of a man and its resultant success to his age being ahead of his wife’s but for some people, it doesn’t matter. As a matter of fact, some folks have set age limit while deciding on who to marry.

Should a man’s age be truly a limiting factor? Is there any law that out rightly states that a wife must be younger than the husband or we just felt that is how it should be based on the responsibility hinged on the man as the head of the family? I doubt it, even not in the bible. If age is really to be considered in this aspect, how come we have people we report to as our bosses in the office who are quite younger than us in age? Then we can as well say that the president of a country should be the oldest of all! Further argument on this is that it could hinder a man from exercising his authority over a woman older than him due to pride from the woman’s end. In as much as it seems valid, we need to understand that even in situations where the man is well advanced in age than the woman, we still have cases of the man finding it so difficult to exercise his authority. The point here is that a weak man will always be weak irrespective of age difference and a proud and non-submitting wife will always be one irrespective of her age too. The most important thing is for the man to be matured enough with a deep sense of self confidence who will never for once feel intimidated because of his wife’s age and for the woman to actually understand her place in the man’s life. I am not proposing a master to slave relationship here neither am I advocating that man should be control freak, rather, I am trying to outline some basic principles in marriage.

Another notion about this issue worth talking about is that women age faster than men. Yes, it is scientifically proven that women do appear to age faster due to the fact that they lose collagens (a group of protein in the dermis responsible for the strength of the skin) at a faster rate than men which result in wrinkles. And the after effect of menopause contribute to this to a reasonable extent also. In as much as we have these facts to hold unto, there is a good news that looks could be genetic both in male and female, so it may not necessarily follow. Moreover, looks get refreshed and enhanced with the right habit like avoiding crash diets, eating enough fruits, less exposure to sunlight, having enough rest, avoiding smoking and alcohol, avoiding stress, revitalizing the skin by taking enough water and having a shower at bedtime without applying any cream. All these activities make the skin relax by growing more proteins which invariably make anyone age gracefully over time. There are lot of women in their sixties but look like they are still in their late forties. And some, you could hardly differentiate between them and their daughters. I think everything boils down to how well women are able to take care of themselves.

The major reason why guys shy away from marrying ladies older than them despite the fact that they possess qualities they had preferred; like maturity, humility, etc which the other younger ladies they once dated seldom have is that people are more inclined to living their lives for others at the expense of what benefits them. We are quick to put into consideration what people would say and think about the union forgetting the fact that peoples’ opinions on issues like this don’t count because they are not the one holding the steering wheel but you do, so you have a particular direction in your head which you shouldn’t let peoples’ opinion change. I really believe that if an individual or two make up their minds to let something work out well, against all odds, it will definitely be. If it is an older woman you have come to love, please make your life fulfilled! Why marry to make others happy?

Treatment of this topic is not limited to the above mentioned areas. There are still other things to be considered which are in a way deeper than these. This age thing is not all about compatibility and love alone. It equally goes beyond damning the consequences of what people could say or think. It actually goes beyond arriving at a decision to always do what would make her age gracefully because you can do all these and still get messed up in your head when issues come up. I need to let you know that this is one of the few issues we can’t be rigid about. You cannot say categorically that it’s right to do neither can you say it’s a wrong thing to do. The simple reason for this is that one man’s meat, is a poison to the throat of another man. Individual differences play out here real good…mainly a personal thing. Have you asked whether your personality can accommodate this type of marriage and won’t give it a consideration to back out? For the fact that someone else does it and it works doesn’t mean you have to do it if you are not the type that could cope with marrying an older lady and the challenges that come with it.

PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO FINISH UP
http://expressng.com/2015/04/should-a-man-marry-a-lady-older-than-him/

No I can't don't want people referring to me in 10yrs time as madam brother.

Therz nothing wrong, what is needed is just understanding.

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