There’s a big difference between acting tough
and being strong. A controlling mother-in-law,
demanding partner, or aggressive boss may be
masking their lack of mental strength with a
feigned air of toughness. While acting tough may
meet someone's needs in the short-term,
mental strength is necessary for true
contentment in life.
Truly successful people don’t rise to the top by
acting tough; they become better by growing
stronger. Being a top performer—in business or
on the athletic field—requires grit and tenacity,
as well as the continuous desire to become
better.
Here are the seven key differences between
being mentally strong, and simply acting tough:
1. Tough people believe failure is never an
option. Striving for success is healthy–but
believing you need to succeed the first time
around may backfire. Mentally strong
people believe failure is part of the process
toward a long journey to success. By
viewing failure as a temporary setback,
they’re able to bounce back and move
forward with ease.
2. Self-portrayals of toughness mask
insecurities. Acting tough is all about
developing an attitude and a persona that
says, “Look at how great I am.” But often,
that tough exterior is meant to hide self-
doubt. Mentally strong people invest more
energy into working on their weaknesses,
rather than trying to cover them up.
3. Tough people say, “I can do anything.”
While a healthy amount of self-confidence
is helpful, overestimating your abilities can
leave you ill-prepared for the realities of a
challenge. Similarly, underestimating the
time and energy it will take to reach your
goals can lead to disappointment. Mental
strength is about recognizing shortcomings
and acknowledging the hard work needed
to reach a goal.
4. Acting tough involves pride. People who
want to be perceived as tough have
something to prove to others. Their self-
worth often depends upon high
achievement and how others see them.
Conversely, developing mental strength is
about humbly trying to grow stronger
based on an internal desire to become
better. Strong people are willing to ask
others for help and they don’t need to be
completely self-reliant. They aren’t worried
about proving anything to anyone but
themselves.
5. Tough people suppress emotions. While
the short-term concealment of emotions
may be helpful in certain occupations—
military personnel, police officers, and
those in the medical field—ignoring
emotions isn’t a healthy long-term strategy.
Eventually, suppressed emotions work their
way out and often rear their ugly head in
the form of anger. Being strong requires
acute awareness of emotions and how
those feelings can influence thoughts and
behavior. Ongoing monitoring of one’s
emotional state helps mentally strong
people be in control of their emotions, so
their emotions don’t control them.
6. Tough people thrive on power. People
who act tough want to be perceived as
always being in control. As a result, they
micromanage, boss others around, and
make unreasonable demands. Mentally
strong people focus their energy on being
in control of their own thoughts, feelings,
and behavior, rather than always trying to
control external circumstances and people.
7. Acting tough is about tolerating pain.
Tough people often pride themselves on
tolerating a great deal of pain and
suffering. Mentally strong people don’t just
tolerate pain—they learn from it. They
focus on personal growth and meaningful
development, rather than treating their
bodies like a machine.
The good news: Anyone has the ability to turn a
tough exterior into a strong mindset. Just like
physical strength requires ongoing training,
mental strength requires regular exercise that
will help you improve and grow stronger.