WARNING: This post is veeeeery long. There, you don't have to repeat that obvious fact. Cheers.


UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?
Very often, we hear people talk so much about unconditional love - from the starry eyed teenager building webs of fantasy, to the married partner sobered up by chunks of unpalatable reality, to the religious zealot who relishes the thought of being a recipient of divine affection without having to lift a finger.

The general consensus in basically every circle is that love could actually be unconditional.

Well, you might have to step out of the box of mainstream ideology and put on your thinking cap for this. Our first stop... The dictionary.

Unconditional
- "not conditional or limited : absolute , unqualified." - Merriam Webster dictionary

- "Not subject to any conditions." - Oxford dictionary

- "Not limited by or depending on any conditions." Longman dictionary

Condition
- "something essential to the appearance or
occurrence of something else : prerequisite" - Merriam Webster dictionary.

- "a situation or state of affairs that must exist before something else is possible." - Oxford dictionary.

- "something that must exist or happen first before something else can happen." - Longman dictionary.

A merger of these definitions would see unconditional love being described as a love that exists or is shown without any condition or limit. In other words, nothing else has to happen to make such a love exist, and nothing can happen that would make it remain stagnant or die. The kind of love that appears from thin air and remains as constant as the sun. How romantic!

The reality though differs, and not slightly. So we shall examine reality together.

Romantic love
Perhaps the most popular of all types of love, is the one between a man and a woman (the not so straight wouldn't like that description very much). Thus at our very first stop, we collide with our first condition for romantic love - the object of our affection must be of the opposite sex (for the straight) or same sex (for the homosexual). Even those who claim to be bi-curious have their preference.

After that first condition has been met subconsciously, we start to look at other areas that may turn out to be deal breakers for us. Ever wondered why we don't fall in love with everyone we know? Unconditional love means you can love that unclad lunatic every bit as much as that smart, good looking man or woman who shows you nothing but care. No?

Let's look at a purer love then...

A parent's love
Quite simply, the reason a parent loves her child is because it's her child.

Mothers are undeniably the face of parental love, and the reason isn't far fetched. They are generally more expressive of their love. So fathers, bear with my illustration.

Take a moment to think about your mother. Now imagine you are her only child. One evening you are playing with other kids in your compound and armed men burst in. They inform everyone that they are there to kill every child in the compound, but because of some reason I don't know, they give your mother the opportunity to choose just one child to be saved. Which child would your mother pick over you?

Unconditional love means that it doesn't matter that the child nearest to you isn't your mother's child, she can save him/her instead of you. Would she? No?

For the religious, specifically Christians, let's look at an even purer love.

God's love
"God is love" says the Bible. John 3:16 says he loved the world so much that he sent his only begotten son. For many, that screams unconditional love. Just pause for a minute and complete the verse. The benefit of that love, eternal life, is hinged on faith in Jesus, or else destruction. A limitation or not?

Well let's go further than that. How many animals are promised such eternal life on the basis of faith in Jesus? The answer shows that man is unique, and why not? He was created in God's image. That in itself, is a condition that gives man the edge over animals. No artist would let a rascally child destroy his masterpiece without doing something about it.

Psalm 11:5 says that God hates anyone who loves violence. That makes it plain. Our desires and resultant actions can lose us God's love. Unconditional love?

Love for total strangers
This probably is the closest one can get to unconditional, for the recipient of the love shown is not the person's creation neither is he a relative or friend. However there still is a condition.

Imagine a man who braves blazing fire to get into a house. He believes there are children in there. As he gets in, he notices a litter of helpless baby rats huddled against a corner trying to get as far away from the flames as possible. Would he stop to save the baby rats or continue the search for the human children?

Your guess is as good as mine. The children would be a priority because they are human. There you have your condition.


LOVE AND SELFLESSNESS
Let me quickly correct a possible perception. This article wasn't written to make love in any form seem selfish or impure.

That man who constantly gives of himself and strives to remain faithful just to make his lady happy, even when she doesn't always appreciate it...

That faithful woman who gives her all because she genuinely wants the best for her man, even when there's that lingering possibility that she might lose it all in a blink.

That father who would rather take a bullet in the head than let his family members get hurt, or jumps into a river when he cannot swim, because he cannot watch his child drown...

That mother who would ferociously stand between her child and death, and do whatever it takes...

That person who believes that every other human should be given another shot at life, against the backdrop of the world's racist, tribalist and xenophobic tendencies...

All these are examples of selfless love which take different forms. Been conditional doesn't make them any less beautiful.

However when one insists that he/she must be loved absolutely, regardless of what he/she does or does not do, it reveals the self-centred nature inherent in most humans. A nature that seeks to receive without having to give anything.

Love can be selfless, love can be true, and love can be enduring. Do your part, make yourself loveable, love selflessly and appreciate the imperfect love shown to you. Maybe we can somehow make the world a better place, at least for those we love.

Just maybe.

© 2015 Oahray

Nice post sir

sir, please i can't read all this thing

life is to short

VaselineCrew:
sir, please i can't read all this thing

life is to short

Life is not short ooo, go back and read that post
No come use your hand to shorten your life

Cutehector:
Nice post sir

thanks bro

Justeenaleo:

Life is not short ooo, go back and read that post
No come use your hand to shorten your life

lol. The bros no even read the first line sef

ronald4lif:
The only unconditional love exist between parents to their kids, especially mothers, and sometimes among siblings. Every other love is conditional.

well, I still wouldn't call such love unconditional until I meet parents who would love me every bit as much as their own children, and without getting to know me.

You mean there are intelligent topics in romance section? Adonbilivit!

I really want to disagree with the op because I believe in unconditional love, but I just cannot find the loophole in the writeup yet. Well written. Really long too.
Modified:
Mods please move this to front page.

Cc Ishilove
I don't know all your names.

ronald4lif:


I thought it's obvious I meant biological parents bro.

I didn't miss it. Look at it this way. How many parents can love a stranger's child the exact same way they love their own? Give me examples of such parents, if you know.

If there aren't, isn't it clear that something makes one's own child different, a natural recipient of such love? That something is a condition, a condition that a stranger's child would fail to meet.

Inkyillusion:
You mean there are intelligent topics in romance section? Adonbilivit!

I really want to disagree with the op because I believe in unconditional love, but I just cannot find the loophole in the writeup yet. Well written. Really long too.

lol. I'd be around when you find the loophole

Thanks for the heads up.

unconditional love is possible - but only from yourself


Nice one dear

Shugaryme:
unconditional love is possible - but only from yourself


Nice one dear

You just had to raise an objection, abi? Make I talk?

I agree completely love differs in each situations. Thats why love a mother's love for her child is completely different from what two lovers have in common.

Oahray:
You just had to raise an objection, abi? Make I talk?

Yelx

Permit me to make an analysis. This thread talks about loving everyone irrespective of your relationship with them and quite frankly it's not what I was expecting to read. I expected picking out a particular type of Love Relationship and then examine the various forms of conditionality and unconditionality in that love but going back to the discourse here, that brand of unconditional love is IMPOSSIBLE. TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

Why? We are bounded by so many things; Self, Family, Race, Tribe, Country and all those things. Now I have a brother by blood, can I see the next guy to me exactly the way I see my brother? No. Even if I want to, I can't. Same goes for my sister and even my wife. I cannot have that same love for my wife for every other lady alive.

Let's look at it. The first question that ought to be asked given the several boundaries humans have created is can we love those people in those circles of boundaries unconditionally? Can I give anything for my brother to live if need be? Can I sacrifice something so valuable to me for the happiness or continued existence of my wife? The answers to these determines that to that unlimited borderless unconditional love which we're talking about here.

NOTE: These boundaries are very strong and sorry to say permanent too.

Any human being places close humans first before any other, given the two humans being in the same situation at the same time. Priorities always set in. Priorities. You and I would save what's dearer to us before we would anything or anybody strange or distant. It's the way the world is wired. A very helpless situation I dare say.

Only God's love is and according to his books, he sees every human the same way.

Dygeasy:
Permit me to make an analysis. This thread talks about loving everyone irrespective of your relationship with them and quite frankly it's not what I was expecting to read. I expected picking out a particular type of Love Relationship and then examine the various forms of conditionality and unconditionality in that love but going back to the discourse here, that brand of unconditional love is IMPOSSIBLE. TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

I'm not sure I quite catch your drift, bro. My post denies the existence of love without any conditions at all. I did not dwell too much on each type of love (examining every possible condition), because it would be excess baggage. I simply brought out a few underlying conditions in each type, as proof of presence (or conditions) invalidates any argument for absence.

Why? We are bounded by so many things; Self, Family, Race, Tribe, Country and all those things. Now I have a brother by blood, can I see the next guy to me exactly the way I see my brother? No. Even if I want to, I can't. Same goes for my sister and even my wife. I cannot have that same love for my wife for every other lady alive.

we are on the same page.

Let's look at it. The first question that ought to be asked given the several boundaries humans have created is can we love those people in those circles of boundaries unconditionally? Can I give anything for my brother to live if need be? Can I sacrifice something so valuable to me for the happiness or continued existence of my wife? The answers to these determines that to that unlimited borderless unconditional love which we're talking about here.

NOTE: These boundaries are very strong and sorry to say permanent too.

agreed. The presence of boundaries separating the recipients of each type of love shows that love is not without conditions. I should thank you for bringing this up.

Any human being places close humans first before any other, given the two humans being in the same situation at the same time. Priorities always set in. Priorities. You and I would save what's dearer to us before we would anything or anybody strange or distant. It's the way the world is wired. A very helpless situation I dare say.

exactly. There's always a reason some are dearer to us.

Only God's love is and according to his books, he sees every human the same wayg

yet everyone in the human race would not have the exact same eternal future. There must be something that makes some sheep and the others goats.

On the whole, nice analysis. Thanks for taking the time to pen down your thoughts

Justeenaleo:

Life is not short ooo, go back and read that post
No come use your hand to shorten your life

My life will long, amen!

Even with that, I try but I jus can't, I try

I hope it help someone sha

SELFISHNESS and GREED is the hallmark of every human being...

LOVE is only a remedy which can NEVER be shown in totality and purest of forms...

Unconditional love is only but an ILLUSION...

okay noted my dear

Let me just stay here with my bottle of Orijin

I have uncontinal love for my orijin

hmm

Enough of this type of thread.

I only want to see "Tonto Dikeh dazzling ....." and "Dbanj vs DonJazzy" on homepage.

Mods wuna no dey slip? Hw wuna go move topic go FP around 2:30am?


This is truly the sign of End time



#NoToXenophobia

Ipledge:
K

See ur life.... Boooking space at this time

ayusco85:


See ur life.... Boooking space at this time

thsts how the thing goes

Ok

am sure this op failed summary in school




too long and boring

It's nice to know someone thinks like me. @oahray it's like you copied and pasted everything from my mind. God bless you... A million likes for this post wouldn't be enough. The best topic I have seen on nairaland.