| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by princessdairies(f): 9:14am On Apr 20, 2015 |
HahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhaahahAhhaAhhahhhhahaahhhhhh...words can't express my laughter...ewoooooooooo.m.hehehehhehehehehehhehehehehhehe 1 Like |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Nobody: 9:32am On Apr 20, 2015 |
#orubebe *rotfl* 1 Like |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by DanielGb(m): 10:04am On Apr 20, 2015 |
'...Nw is time for Operation search your Neighbour.' LWKMD. This na business centre, no be church. Advice your Friend to leave or relocate.
As for the OP, u've don wel by showing them the 'ORUBEBE' Style. 1 Like |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by tenderlaw(m): 10:41am On Apr 20, 2015 |
LewisO:
Just because of one day Sunday service u got frustrated like this, my brother u are going church to serve God don't let the devil take over u just because of your stomach.
But this your story is very funny!  This is d kind of stupid logic that encourages these fake pastors. As for me, u frustrate me ONCE in ur church and u will NEVER come back!!! If u like make u vex. |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by emmanude(m): 10:42am On Apr 20, 2015 |
Wetin you find go that kind church sef..... ;DWetin you find go that kind church sef..... |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by ttime(m): 12:00pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.
When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.
The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.
Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.
What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying
"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".
After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.
The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice
"What do you think you want to do??"
He replied me
"You heard what the pastor said brother".
I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said
"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"
and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with
"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".
He was shocked.
One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.
My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher
"Please don't even try to follow me". 
He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home. Laughs like an Egyptian mummy |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by poik(m): 12:22pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.
When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.
The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.
Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.
What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying
"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".
After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.
The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice
"What do you think you want to do??"
He replied me
"You heard what the pastor said brother".
I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said
"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"
and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with
"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".
He was shocked.
One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.
My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher
"Please don't even try to follow me".
He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home. I feel you bro. There is no Bible for collecting from people by force. What nonsense! You were even lenient to the searcher. Haba 1 Like |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by LewisO: 2:04pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
luluosas:
Honestly, you read without understanding. Shame. And it's u who read without using your brain.
What would have gone wrong to start displaying drama in church just because of hunger? 1 Like |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by gideon293(m): 3:08pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
orubebe lwkmd...nice 1 1 Like |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by blaizze(f): 6:06pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
Bekwarra:
Lemme pm you. I need a palm wine treat when I'm back from Lagos this week. lol. I dnt live there. Haven't been there for the past 7yrs |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Bekwarra(m): 6:39pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
blaizze:
lol. I dnt live there. Haven't been there for the past 7yrs Where do you live? |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by blaizze(f): 6:41pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
|
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by FEAO1985(m): 7:02pm On Apr 20, 2015 |
you should prolly reveal the name of the church and shame those shysters! |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by ihedinobi2: 11:28am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Afukwana nonsense!!! What kind of human beings go to churches like this biko? |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Ajalagideon: 5:24pm On Apr 21, 2015 |
I can only believe u if u mention the name of the church and address |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by MrBasketball: 5:03am On Apr 22, 2015 |
Nawao |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Ochedi(m): 11:30pm On Apr 22, 2015 |
4bobo:
You are still hiding the name of the church. I believe if you are claiming it happened and you are still hiding the name of the church, then, i smell lies. What do you want us to do with it now? To direct your movie scripts? so u can hit out at d church?...get a job...hw wud one just love to hit odas instead of minding their own business and building their on lives..I bet if it were u u wud have written d name...sooo sad...means u lack simple wisdom God Bless d op for dat wisdom. |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by fyxboss(m): 12:48am On Apr 23, 2015 |
sexynabila:
pastors & money is like ...gurls & money...God will help dem pastors...  u nko? |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by gujikar: 7:42am On Apr 25, 2015 |
Things they happen ooh. I was invited to a church for the first time in Abuja and a very touching preaching the Pastor said there is something he is hearing ooh. He doesn't know how to say it, after some time he said God asked him to tell all the congregation to empty there pockets and bags, meaning all monies should be dropped in the church before going out. The question is can God give that kind of message? Pls note: even if the money is not your own just drop it in the church |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by Nobody: 9:41pm On Jul 05, 2015 |
Hahahahaha! I don laff tire! |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by xpirence: 3:49pm On Sep 16, 2015 |
keep that mouth closed. before you re ask to provide your contact address, na person force you go d church, while are you telling us? |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by zynzyn(m): 4:56pm On Oct 18, 2015 |
Not surprising. Should have mentioned name of the church! |
| Re: My Terrible Experience In A Church Today by ikuku(m): 8:03pm On Jan 10, 2016 |
Bekwarra:
My friend who's a worker in a new generation pentecostal church (I won't mention names) invited me to his church. Although I don't normally go to church VERY EARLY, he succeeded in persuading me to go early with him because as a worker, he should be in church very early and he knew fully well that if we didn't go together, I wouldn't go; so he succeeded in dragging me along.
When we got to church, they started their normal Sunday School like chit-chat and later praises, worship songs and the service started proper. Born into an Apostolic-inclined orthodox and later crossed over to RCCG, I wasn't at home with the mode and method of their service. I was getting bored and feeling out of place while silently praying for the service to end. Then it came to things like "run to five people and tell them greater things are coming your way this week, you must run o", "grab the person beside you and shake him happy sunday". I was getting tired and shaking my head in despair.
The worms in my stomach were not helping matters, they launched a massive #BringBackOurFood protest because I couldn't take breakfast before leaving for church. The only thing that kept on pushing me on was the hope that the pastor would soon say "run to 5 people and hug them happy sunday". I would gladly and patiently look for 5 beautiful sisters with their killing mini/pencil skirts and tight-fitting shirts to hug but unfortunately, that command never came. All those times, I was feeling frustrated already and whenever my eyes meet those of my friend where he was standing with the engines and mixers, he gives me that "padi no vex we go soon finish" smile.
Just as I was resigning to fate and hoping that the service would soon end and I would bolt home the worst of it happened. The pastor had been preaching for close to 45mins harping on the need to give and sow as good Christians. He gave several examples in the bible of people who gave and later reaped God's blessings. He urged us to give and test God. After that, it was time to give offering. The offering was going to be in two parts; normal Sunday offering and the commitment towards the church building because their auditorium is under construction. We gave offering and afterwards the pastor came back on the pulpit and started complaining why people refused to give generously despite taking us on a journey through the word of God about the essence of giving in a Christian life. He preached for another 10mins. I wasn't even listening to him again because I was gradually dozing off.
What actually jolted me back into reality were these words "now it's time for operation search your neighbour". I sat up immediately to listen well and that was when I heard the pastor saying
"this is time for operation search your neighbour, search your neighbour's bag, wallet, purse or pockets as need be and bring out the contents, if there is no money there return the bag but if there is money bring it out, we must learn to give to God. He gave us the money and we must return it to him".
After all those words, people took the bag of the person sitting beside them while the pockets or wallets of brothers were being searched.
The brother beside me was taking his hands towards my pockets about to begin his own search when I said with venom in my eyes and in a Russian mafian voice
"What do you think you want to do??"
He replied me
"You heard what the pastor said brother".
I told him not to even contemplate trying it. He was then trying to pacify me and cajole me telling me there is no harm in giving towards God's work. I told him I'm not against giving but I'm against collecting by force. This is no more giving, this is collecting. He smiled at my words and said
"My brother it's the same thing, God's blessing awaits the two"
and he made for my pockets again, I felt that my phonetics were not having any effect and I replied with
"Bros abeg no try that thing o, I swear I go change am for you".
He was shocked.
One usher noticed us and came to us and he was trying to calm me down because my voiced had changed as my face too.
My friend remained where he was to avoid being seen as the person that brought Orubebe to church. I don dey para for them like mad and the people sitting around us were trying to pacify me. I said "Okay, no problem," carried my bible and.............................with one last Dracula look I told the usher
"Please don't even try to follow me".
He remained rooted to the spot and I made my way out of the church and straight home.  |
