spyg1:
[i][/i] u hav nothing to do abi? Not minding your biz. Talk ur own on Nairaland let us advice you.
As for ur frnd, that is a family trait he cant avoid it.

cuteshantel39:
A married friend told me his experience in marriage then I decided to share it here to seek for your opinions. He use to have a coursemate back then in school. After graduation they met on facebook and started chatting. After a while the girl visited him because he was already working and comfortable. Three months into the relationship she took in and since abortion was not an option he married her. But she has been his nightmare ever since then. She doesn't love or care about him,she doesn't cook for him,she only cooks for herself and the son. The man comes home tired from work and still finds something to cook. He's thinking seriously and his BP is going high. He has refused to tell his family members or even his pastor as I adviced claiming he doesn't. Want it to go publicly. I adviced to divorce her because he now seeks happiness from girls outside but he said his parents were divorced too and he didn't want to continue in that line. Pls ur advice is needed

cuteshantel39:
Thnk u all for ur advice. I feel he's too weak too. Bt I wil tell him to check to b sure he's actually d father

bukatyne:


@OP:

What do you mean by 'too weak'?

cuteshantel39:
I mean too weak to take actions

bukatyne:


There is little the man or anyone else can do when the partner decides to misbehave .

The worst is to part ways.

5minsmadness:

But there are cases when the man learns to become a disciplinarian and the woman starts to behave responsibly. That way the marriage is saved.

That's what I think they mean when they say the man is weak. He cares too much for her and won't want to carry out any disciplinary action on her.

bukatyne:


That 100% depends on if the wife still wants the marriage in the first place.

He should try the 'disciplinarian' husband first; I would agree there are some women who do not like care

BTW, is there anything wrong with a 'caring' husband?

5minsmadness:


It depends on what u mean by 'caring'.

A man goes all out for his wife and treats her like an egg. He helps with the house chores, washes the clothes, gives her preference when watching TV, doesn't force her to have sex, cooks occasionally, etc and you find out that most women treat men like the like dirt. They don't appr8eciate them and abuse them verbally and emotionally at every opportunity.

Such a man is 'caring'.

joanne1:


Urs is d dumbest post ever, if u dnt have an advice for d op u can just take several seats away frm here and watch,its not by force to comment. Well mi dear op sth is obviously wrong with both of them. Cos thr has to be a reason why d wife is acting dat way

mutter:
Your friend better pick his pants and put them on
How can a man come home from work and no food waiting for him!
Hell I am a woman but in the holidays if I come home from work and the kid`s have not tidied and cleaned up- Hell will break loose!
Is he a slave for the woman. What happened to division of labour? A home is a joint responsibility.
WOMAN WRAPPER!
Does he think going out and exposing himself to disease and dangers will help him?
He should insist on his wife performing her marital duties even if it means he has to shout it on the mountain top.

If she refuses send her home to have a good think!
Probably he grew up without a dad and never learnt to be a man.

5minsmadness:


It depends on what u mean by 'caring'.

A man goes all out for his wife and treats her like an egg. He helps with the house chores, washes the clothes, gives her preference when watching TV, doesn't force her to have sex, cooks occasionally, etc and you find out that most women treat men like them like dirt. They don't appreciate them and abuse them verbally and emotionally at every opportunity.

Such a man is 'caring'.

Sometimes however a man has to show his assertive side. He has to exhibit a little bit of madness to draw wifey back on track. He has to go at it with an "I don't care" attitude and mean it. Most times the woman will complain but rarely will they quit the marriage.

cococandy:
@bold is what you call 'treating like an egg'? Chai
The eggs where you come from must be pretty hard.

That there is normal married-guy routine.
Any guy who doesn't do all the above and some more is a brute.

Seriously what other option does a normal guy have. Not help out at home? Rape his wife?

This your very post proves that 'nothing a man does that satisfies a woman, most especially, the feminist by heart'! Where is Mandu94 to address this issue?

all4naija:
This your very post proves that 'nothing a man does that satisfies a woman'!

cococandy:
@bold is what you call 'treating like an egg'? Chai
The eggs where you come from must be pretty hard.

That there is normal married-guy routine.
Any guy who doesn't do all the above and some more is a brute.

Seriously what other option does a normal guy have. Not help out at home? Rape his wife?

5minsmadness:


Majority of menfolk who behave like the guy in my example live to regret it.
The women take them for granted.
They start bossing the men around. This isn't theory, this is what i have seen first hand.
you can even read it in the few men that come on nairaland to complain.
Women don't like men that treat them like queens all the time, fact.

If a guy makes the mistake of asking his wife "may i have sex with you?" as a routine , he will regret it.
Before you know it sex will only come at her behest, NEVER at his.

A man who cooks and cleans and washes and does the dishes will soon find himself doing it alllll the time, the woman just sits back and becomes lazy.

I had a girl once when i was naive, I bought her flowers for valentine (not that i didnt have money but i thought roses would have a more significant meaning than any material gift, silly me ), I would carry her books to class and all the romantic stuff. Women can't stand that behavior for long. They want a man to be in control, to tell them what to do, to OWN them. This doesnt necessarily mean the man should be wicked or a slave-master, simply that being a man he should be more assertive, more confident, more steadfast and determined in what his likes and dislikes are.

I ended up handing my first love to another guy on a silver platter. she went after him because he was more assertive. he slapped her on the second week of thier dating because she made the mistake of thinking she could behave with him the way she did with me. she came to me to report but they made up the next day. they are married now with three kids.

This is the truth of the world we live in, men should stop taking examples from telemundo. Women want heroes, men they can look up to, not men who will worship them.