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Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 4:01pm On Apr 21, 2015
cococandy:
no that there is very satisfying. cheesy
Any lady with a husband that does all that can attest that it is satisfying.
The man is being a true and considerate partner.

Just that 5mins dude considers such to be going all out so I wonder what being regular would mean to him.
This was regular for me. I had to stop it when one of the girls that got really close to me told me about it. if you are my girlfriend i would carry you on a silver platter. I believe in the old ways and i would write poems and compose songs on paper( yeah i admit it, silly now i come to think about it) and all this done during the facebook era o. I was a hopeless romantic.

Its all BULLshit.

Now I know the secret I'm having difficulty choosing who to marry cos the girls are too many.
Girls want men. No scratch that, Girls NEED men. Not pansies. It makes them feel fulfilled and womanly. It probably sounds obnoxious the way i'm saying it but its the gospel truth.

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Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 4:03pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

You know, I thought I had read it all.

I can't stand a man not like that anyways

Different preferences anyways.

Sure.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 4:05pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

This was regular for me. I had to stop it when one of the girls that got really close to me told me about it. if you are my girlfriend i would carry you on a silver platter. I believe in the old ways and i would write poems and compose songs( yeah i admit it, silly now i come to think about it) and all this done during the facebook era o. I was a hopeless romantic.

Its all BULLshit.

Now I know the secret I'm having difficulty choosing who to marry cos the girls are too many.
Girls want men. No scratch that, Girls NEED men. Not pansies. It makes them feel fulfilled and womanly. It probably sounds obnoxious the way i'm saying it but its the gospel truth.

Your definition of a man is someone who is not caring or cold?

You really need to change the women around you.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 4:10pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


Your definition of a man is someone who is not caring or cold?

You really need to change the women around you.

Where did I say the above?

Do not extrapolate or jump to conclusions.

A man can be caring and will still be stern. A man can provide all the needs of the house and when he comes home after a day's work he tells his wife with an assertive voice to make his food let him eat. if she refuses and makes for only her son he will know the reason why or end the relationship right there. An assertive man won't carry face and ignore and stagger into the kitchen himself cos he doesn't want to offend the wife, meanwhile he is dying inside.

A father can be caring yet you won't mess with him.

If the husband above has already set certain boundaries then madam knows the house wont be comfortable if she doesn't make the meal for him but makes for her son instead.

2 Likes

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 4:12pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


Your definition of a man is someone who is not caring or cold?

You really need to change the women around you.
I don't mean any insults but can you honestly tell me you married the man who wrote the most poems for you? Who adored you the most?
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 4:58pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:


Where did I say the above?

Do not extrapolate or jump to conclusions.

A man can be caring and will still be stern. A man can provide all the needs of the house and when he comes home after a day's work he tells his wife with an assertive voice to make his food let him eat. if she refuses and makes for only her son he will know the reason why or end the relationship right there. An assertive man won't carry face and ignore and stagger into the kitchen himself cos he doesn't want to offend the wife, meanwhile he is dying inside.

A father can be caring yet you won't mess with him.

If the husband above has already set certain boundaries then madam knows the house wont be comfortable if she doesn't make the meal for him but makes for her son instead.


Husband stern kwa?

Why didn't I kuku stay with my papa?

You are going back to my first question....

If the husband is stern and barks that the wife goes to the kitchen and she refuses, What will he do more than beating her up or the infamous throw her stuffs out? Or will he bodily carry her to the kitchen to cook
Remember you can force a horse to the stream, you cannot force it to drink?
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 5:01pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

I don't mean any insults but can you honestly tell me you married the man who wrote the most poems for you? Who adored you the most?

None taken

I did. That was a prerequisite for moi kiss

I met him when I was 17 and him 21 So you know the kain loff We played and still play.

He still says he wants to learn How to play a guitar So he can serenade his truly kiss

I will not deny that Some ladies do not like TLC sha.

They loff stern husbands.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by cococandy(f): 5:08pm On Apr 21, 2015
Doing all that didn't make you a pansy.
Because a girl was too xtupid to see how great your attitude was doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Some girls are abuse junkies. If you don't have exaggerated machismo they don't consider you man enough. That's not who really want to be with if being there means you always have to go against your natural instinct to be kind and sweet.

If that's the kind of guy you are, there are babes who will appreciate that. Don't waste it

5minsmadness:

This was regular for me. I had to stop it when one of the girls that got really close to me told me about it. if you are my girlfriend i would carry you on a silver platter. I believe in the old ways and i would write poems and compose songs( yeah i admit it, silly now i come to think about it) and all this done during the facebook era o. I was a hopeless romantic.

Its all BULLshit.

Now I know the secret I'm having difficulty choosing who to marry cos the girls are too many.
Girls want men. No scratch that, Girls NEED men. Not pansies. It makes them feel fulfilled and womanly. It probably sounds obnoxious the way i'm saying it but its the gospel truth.

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by babygirlfl: 5:13pm On Apr 21, 2015
As surprising as what 5minsmadness is saying might sound, I have seen and heard of women who feel caring men are not man enough or who look down on caring men. However I can say that all of them I know grew up in homes where their Dad was sort of a dictator. Such women think (not dislike ) men who are caring are not good enough because the definition of a man is someone who is a dictator, uncaring, abusive and mean just like their father.The problem however is that these women end up marrying men like their father and the circle continues. What I think is unacceptable though is to generalize and think all women want that kind of a man because I know a lot of women that want a caring man.

2 Likes

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by babygirlfl: 5:20pm On Apr 21, 2015
cococandy:
Doing all that didn't make you a pansy.
Because a girl was too xtupid to see how great your attitude was doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Some girls are abuse junkies. If you don't have exaggerated machismo they don't consider you man enough. That's not who really want to be with if being there means you always have to go against your natural instinct to be kind and sweet.


If that's the kind of guy you are, there are babes who will appreciate that. Don't waste it





If you are a good and caring man, look for a woman that appreciates it and don't change from the good person you are.

1 Like

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 5:36pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


Husband stern kwa?

Why didn't I kuku stay with my papa?

You are going back to my first question....

If the husband is stern and barks that the wife goes to the kitchen and she refuses, What will he do more than beating her up or the infamous throw her stuffs out? Or will he bodily carry her to the kitchen to cook
Remember you can force a horse to the stream, you cannot force it to drink?

True you can force a horse to the stream but you cant force it to drink.
this applies both ways.

man comes home, no food for him meanwhile he provided money and left the house without any quarrel.
he asks wife(not barks, nobody is barking here) and wife refuses. husband asks what is wrong wife says nothing then makes food for herself and her son. Husband insists wife doesnt eat cos its from the same pot wife should have served him food. son can eat since he is a kid. next day husband jejely sends wife home to recover from whatever she is suffering from. If she doesnt want to come back she should stay there.shikena. the world will go on without her.
No time for BULLshit.

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Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 5:39pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


None taken

I did. That was a prerequisite for moi kiss

I met him when I was 17 and him 21 So you know the kain loff We played and still play.

He still says he wants to learn How to play a guitar So he can serenade his truly kiss

I will not deny that Some ladies do not like TLC sha.

They loff stern husbands.
Hmn, ok.
good for you then.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 5:43pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

True you can force a horse to the stream but you cant force it to drink.
this applies both ways.

man comes home, no food for him meanwhile he provided money and left the house without any quarrel.
he asks wife(not barks, nobody is barking here) and wife refuses. husband asks what is wrong wife says nothing then makes food for herself and her son. Husband insists wife doesnt eat cos its from the same pot wife should have served him food. son can eat since he is a kid. next day husband jejely sends wife home to recover from whatever she is suffering from. If she doesnt want to come back she should stay there.shikena. the world will go on without her.
No time for BULLshit.

We are just dancing in circles.

Good you agree that the worst the man can do is send his wife parking (which would not matter to a wife who is not interested in the marriage)

4 Likes

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by crackhaus: 6:06pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:


Where did I say the above?

Do not extrapolate or jump to conclusions.

A man can be caring and will still be stern. A man can provide all the needs of the house and when he comes home after a day's work he tells his wife with an assertive voice to make his food let him eat. if she refuses and makes for only her son he will know the reason why or end the relationship right there. An assertive man won't carry face and ignore and stagger into the kitchen himself cos he doesn't want to offend the wife, meanwhile he is dying inside.

A father can be caring yet you won't mess with him.

If the husband above has already set certain boundaries then madam knows the house wont be comfortable if she doesn't make the meal for him but makes for her son instead.

Bro, they already know what you're trying to say but just want to argue for the sake of it.

It's called tough love and is really the best way to handle Nigerian women as well as children - it comes naturally to some men, while others have to learn it...

Applying tough love is better than being an all round do-gooder/yes-man who's always scared of hurting his wife's feelings... a man like the one in the OP definitely had it coming.

I sure know how to love and be there for a woman, but heaven be damned when she cooks for herself and my son while deliberately leaving me out - as a matter of fact, no sane woman would do that when she already has a certain outlook on my kind of personality.

This sh1t is real life man, not Telemundo.

7 Likes

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 6:17pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


We are just dancing in circles.

Good you agree that the worst the man can do is send his wife parking (which would not matter to a wife who is not interested in the marriage)
If she is not interested then she shouldn't have waited to be sent packing in the first place.

1 Like

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 6:39pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

Hmn, ok.
good for you then.

Sorry to disappoint you cheesy
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 6:40pm On Apr 21, 2015
bukatyne:


Sorry to disappoint you cheesy

Lol!!!!!!
I can only believe what you wrote, I cant go and confirm it for myself. There is nothing to be disappointed in smiley

2 Likes

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by cococandy(f): 6:52pm On Apr 21, 2015
How do you physically send a lady out of the home if she doesn't want to go?
Just asking sha because I can't imagine such a picture without violence.

If the guy is trying to avoid a fight, how will he get her to leave? By just saying it?
What if she says no?
Will he push her or drag her outside or hire some poeple to come do it? grin

5minsmadness:

True you can force a horse to the stream but you cant force it to drink.
this applies both ways.

man comes home, no food for him meanwhile he provided money and left the house without any quarrel.
he asks wife(not barks, nobody is barking here) and wife refuses. husband asks what is wrong wife says nothing then makes food for herself and her son. Husband insists wife doesnt eat cos its from the same pot wife should have served him food. son can eat since he is a kid. next day husband jejely sends wife home to recover from whatever she is suffering from. If she doesnt want to come back she should stay there.shikena. the world will go on without her.
No time for BULLshit.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by Nobody: 7:24pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

This was regular for me. I had to stop it when one of the girls that got really close to me told me about it. if you are my girlfriend i would carry you on a silver platter. I believe in the old ways and i would write poems and compose songs on paper( yeah i admit it, silly now i come to think about it) and all this done during the facebook era o. I was a hopeless romantic.

Its all BULLshit.

Now I know the secret I'm having difficulty choosing who to marry cos the girls are too many.
Girls want men. No scratch that, Girls NEED men. Not pansies. It makes them feel fulfilled and womanly. It probably sounds obnoxious the way i'm saying it but its the gospel truth.


Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by edwife(f): 7:34pm On Apr 21, 2015
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by Nobody: 7:40pm On Apr 21, 2015
edwife:


grin grin grin

No smoke without fire. How dem talk am self.


All these angry NL boys, Girls don deal with them real life. Walahi grin grin

Writing love poem grin

Ogidigba.
grin grin
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by edwife(f): 7:43pm On Apr 21, 2015
Chillisauce:


No smoke without fire. How dem talk am self.
All these angry NL boys, Girls don deal with them real life. Walahi grin grin

Writing love poem grin

Ogidigba.
grin grin

Chilli love poems are nice,especially flowers tongue cheesy
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by Nobody: 7:47pm On Apr 21, 2015
edwife:


Chilli love poems are nice,especially flowers tongue cheesy

Which flowers? Maybe Na elephant grass the guy tie up give the babe grin
Come write love poem put for my Facebook wall? N'a to spoil show na tongue cheesy
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by edwife(f): 7:51pm On Apr 21, 2015
Chillisauce:


Which flowers? Maybe Na elephant grass the guy tie up give the babe grin
Come write love poem put for my Facebook wall? N'a to spoil show na tongue cheesy

Lol,you see your life? grin

What about cards?chilli i will take a bouquet of flowers and chocolate anyday anytime. kiss

You know about Frenchs.... wink
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by Nobody: 7:52pm On Apr 21, 2015
edwife:


Lol,you see your life? grin

What about cards?chilli i will take a bouquet of flowers and chocolate anyday anytime. kiss

You know about Frenchs.... wink


I love all those with a ** carat gold jewel to go with. grin
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by edwife(f): 7:59pm On Apr 21, 2015
Chillisauce:


I love all those with a ** carat gold jewel to go with. grin

grin grin
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 8:00pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:


Lol!!!!!!
I can only believe what you wrote, I cant go and confirm it for myself. There is nothing to be disappointed in smiley


There is no need to lie...

I am not answerable to you.

The husband can try the stern mrthod, it might work.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 8:05pm On Apr 21, 2015
Chillisauce:


No smoke without fire. How dem talk am self.


All these angry NL boys, Girls don deal with them real life. Walahi grin grin

Writing love poem grin

Ogidigba.
grin grin
EXACTLY.
@cococandy see what I'm talking about? Girls don't like that sh1t.
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 8:09pm On Apr 21, 2015
Chillisauce:


Which flowers? Maybe Na elephant grass the guy tie up give the babe grin
Come write love poem put for my Facebook wall? N'a to spoil show na tongue cheesy
Thank you for being realistic.
I try if na Facebook wall.
I dey write am for paper seal am inside envelope come spray the envelope with male perfume grin. When I could have simply pinged grin
The Roses were imported and cost a pretty penny. Sista jus laugh thank me with one fake voice troway the tin for corner.


Money talks far Iouder than foolish words.

1 Like

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by bukatyne(f): 8:12pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

Thank you for being realistic.
I try if na Facebook wall.
I dey write am for paper seal am inside envelope come spray the envelope with male perfume grin. When I could have simply pinged grin
The Roses were imported and cost a pretty penny. Sista jus laugh thank me with one fake voice troway the tin for corner.


Money talks far Iouder than foolish words.

Sorry you picked the wrong sista!

1 Like

Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by cococandy(f): 8:19pm On Apr 21, 2015
5minsmadness:

EXACTLY.
@cococandy see what I'm talking about? Girls don't like that sh1t.
lol I must be a boy then grin

Oya contunu
Re: Matured Advice Needed Urgently Esp From The Married by 5minsmadness: 8:28pm On Apr 21, 2015
cococandy:
How do you physically send a lady out of the home if she doesn't want to go?
Just asking sha because I can't imagine such a picture without violence.

If the guy is trying to avoid a fight, how will he get her to leave? By just saying it?
What if she says no?
Will he push her or drag her outside or hire some poeple to come do it? grin

I know u don't believe this, but men are stronger than women. All he has to do is tell her to go nicely, if she refuses then he carries her out physically (without hurting her, don't worry), then he helps her pack her bags and sends it out. It's not only women that want a peaceful marriage. If she wants to go she should go. If she wants to stay then she should kindly explain why she would deliberately starve him. Marriage is not by force, if she doesn't want she should go.

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