Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.

The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?"

So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"

L.O.L Sam

A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you -- we've looked at your life, and your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!"

"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded, "When did this happen?"

"About two minutes ago," came the reply.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
hell is the impossibility of reason
      lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquires.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responds.

The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

      a

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
============================================================
A MAN WHO THINKS TOO MUSC ABOUT HIS ANCESTORS IS LIKE A POTATO,,THE BEST PART OF HIM IS UNDERGROUN, MILLA

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."

So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."

So the third hunter says, "I'm just going to shoot at anything I see."

So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"
=========================================
IT IS STRANGE THAT MAN DOES NOT REALIZE HIS MORTALITY EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE, MILLA
____________________


It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:

"Ames" "Here!" "Jenson" "Here!" "Jones" "Here!" "Magersky" "Here!" "Seeback"

No answer.

"Seeback!"

No answer was heard again.

"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.

At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names at the back

back from the archive.
good old nairaland days

Some nice ones there

@jokes
lovely

@iice
hi, u visit here

yes she does before.when the section was fun.
but its returning to fun again

ok, nice to know I brought the fun back

huu? says who

@jokes

weldone sammy

no mind princessa

then who should she mind

abeg jo, i brought it back

why did u bring it back??

i begged u to bring food for me and u refused

are u a beggar now clem?

i reject it for clem sammy

SAM MILLA DON'T KILL US WITH YOUR JOKES OOOOO!!!!

are you calling me a killer?

Nice one here

close ya teeth ma fwend

tyty go just dey find trouble any how each time i am around.
that boy u are telling to close his mouth is a boxer oh.
i no fit fight him

you better warn am
TYTY hear am

nah! am not findin twobu,
he didnt bwosh his teeth b4 leavin home dis morning
i saw d chewing stick very dry,
yes

OK, I HAVE WARNED U.
MY HAND NO DEY

TYTY
but I told you not to come and steal yesterday's unfinished rice in my house again!!!
Kilode naa
One day is for the owner remember
I warn you o

u mean d rice i brought to ur house yesterday?

i'll bring anoda today, dat is if i'm able to eat remain o

see thief arresting property owner. Do we still have police in this country?
How else would you know that my chewing stick is dry if you no enter my kitchen behind my back?

then buy a good key for ur kitchen.

poor boy

see who is talking