Wow wat a nyc story I wish it neva ends,wil mix jane and adams

nice writeup Kelvin,, wished it never ended tho

lovelygurl:
Wow, best story ever
But, now it's over

Yeah, thank u dear... From d bottom of my heart

Thanks Kelvin for dis wonderful story

Immediately i started reading this and got to the second chapter the movie series "awkward" popped into my head cause it has the same chronological order of events. Let me continue.

Kelvin3028:

Yeah, thank u dear... From d bottom of my heart

I thank u for writing this wonderful story. Really, it was amazing

Topnotch!....#Cool story#

Pukka36:
Topnotch!....#Cool story#

Thanks

No no no! Sex amongst unmarried teens is simply unacceptable. Making it colourful and all doesn't make it right. Use adults next time in ur imagination room. Good writing.

Wow.. Breathtaking buh you ended up justifying their actions at the end .

Nice work,keep it up

Eunisam seated .

Very poor editing.

Man, I can't read this!

I'm out of here!!!

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Kelvin3028:

The house was silent. The only noises
were the sounds of the wind howling
fiercely outside the window and my
older brother's epic snoring echoing
down the hallway.

Can you check these words again? I am not that comfortable with the house being silent. And here again bringing this up that the noises were coming from the snores and the howling of the wind. I don't get it.

sorry pls. but the chpt 1 is not fantastically true because being deflowered at 16 characteristics is that major word Blood. no sight of blood discovered, no going to the bathroom, intact she should be too week to move around, so minus 80% there. For you to make us believe that she was actually deflowered then that important word BLOOD can not be over emphasized thanks.

Kelvin3028:
CHAPTER 1
I walked out of the bathroom and began
to slowly make my way down the narrow
hallway. My hands were tucked deep into
the pockets of my little pink pajama
pants in an attempt to keep my fingers
warm. The night air was chilly and as I
silently made my way back to my
bedroom I couldn't sway my mind away
from the thought of sliding back under
the warmth of my plush blanket. I was
only sporting a tiny little black tank top
and already I was starting to feel the
goose bumps rising up on my arms.
The house was silent. The only noises
were the sounds of the wind howling
fiercely outside the window and my
older brother's epic snoring echoing
down the hallway. My parents were away
for the weekend, gone on some major
golf tournament, which left the house to
me and my brother. Not that it was much
of a surprise, being left unsupervised
was the norm as my parents were hardly
ever home. If they weren't away for golf
then it was business or another vacation,
either way they were really only home a
few days a month.
Before they departed, they had left
implicit instructions that we were not
allowed to have any friends over.
Naturally, my brother decided to rebel
against my parent's authority and invite
his utterly hot friend over for the night. I
honestly didn't mind the eye candy and
my parents would be none the wiser.
Also, it didn't hurt that the guy was
unbelievably sexy and one of the most
popular guys at our school, Crowns High.
I couldn't help but stare at him with
quiet reverence and awe every time I
saw him, even though he barely even
acknowledged my existence.
As I reached my bedroom door I turned
the knob and walked into my warm and
cozy bedroom. My heart skipped a beat
and my breath was caught in my chest as
I realized there was someone sitting on
my bed. It took me a moment to realize
who it was as relief washed over me. It
was only Adams, my brother's friend.
He was wearing a pair of black and red
plaid pajama pants with a tight white
muscle shirt. I could see every perfectly
chiseled muscle through the thin fabric
of his shirt, which instantly caused me to
breathe in sharply. His tousled brown
hair was about an inch long and stood up
on all ends, indicating he had probably
been tossing and turning in bed for
hours.
Then suddenly the relief transformed
itself into mild confusion. I mean, sure, I
was relieved that it was Adams in my
bedroom and not some creepy stranger
danger crawling in through the window,
but I thought to myself, 'what was Adams
Brown doing in my bedroom?'
"A-Adams?" I stuttered as I took a few
more brave steps into my bedroom. "W-
what are you doing in here?"
And there it was, my very first words
ever spoken to this demi-god, Adams
Brown. Although Adams had been my
brother's friend for years I had never
exchanged any sort of verbal dialogue
with him before. Hell, I'd never really
spoken to any of the student body at
Crowns High.
"I couldn't sleep," he finally replied.
I frowned, my eyebrows raised in
confusion. "So you decided you come
into my bedroom?"
"Well, I wanted to come see you," he
answered quietly as he stood up and
began to walk toward me.
Instantly, I felt my heart begin to beat
more rapidly and my palms begin to get
clammy.
"M-me?" I asked, still completely dazed
and somewhat confused. I mean why
would he want to see me? Adams was
two years older than me and completely
out of my league. "But why me?" He took
one last step that brought him only
inches away from me. "I can't get you out
of my mind, Jane," he whispered near
my ear. His hand reached toward me as
his fingers traced along the outline of my
face. The second his rough skin brushed
against my cheek a shiverof of desire ran
down my spine.
I stood there completely stunned
speechless as I continued to just stare
into his deep brown eyes. My heart
continued to thump until it was racing at
an abnormal and unhealthy rate. I
wondered if it was possible to have a
heart attack at my age.
TO BE CONTINUED

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Royh ,TheBlessedMAN , SmartestPopQueen , Mrlemuel , fobiflex , AOB1 , Fiyah, PamelB , Princedami....... Comma See oooo

Nice story kelvin..... You do well...
TEAM HERO will Storm this thread In a Jiffy

Franchris:
Oh! So touching i had to comment (Ghost reader). Good work.. Be fast and update pls.. Harjibolar10 never see this one. Chai. You af miss.

Me too. #teamghostreader

Powerful story line. Can't wait for the updates.

interesting

GUY UR XPLANATIONS TOO MUCH SHALL!

Tgold1:
Roy h ,TheBlessed MAN , Smartest PopQueen , Mr lemuel , fobi flex , AOB 1 , Fi yah, Pamel B , Princedam i....... Comma See oooo

Haaah!!. Thanks for the invite. .

Tgold1:
Royh ,TheBlessedMAN , SmartestPopQueen , Mrlemuel , fobiflex , AOB1 , Fiyah, PamelB , Princedami....... Comma See oooo

i Don Land With My KatapORT, oya E Package, Team Hero Don LAND JOR

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Lol...op be writing like he's ga.y, nice work though

ROYH:
i Don Land With My KatapORT, oya E Package, Team Hero Don LAND JOR

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[size=90pt]#T34M H3RO [/size]

GbayIi

Brymo:
we pray it's a blockbuster.

LIKE IS NOT EASY AS YOU THINK IT IS[color=#000099][/color]

Nice story

foody:
sorry pls. but the chpt 1 is not fantastically true because being deflowered at 16 characteristics is that major word Blood. no sight of blood discovered, no going to the bathroom, intact she should be too week to move around, so minus 80% there. For you to make us believe that she was actually deflowered then that important word BLOOD can not be over emphasized thanks.

Like seriously, he must describe everything?

Kelvin3028, you actually made me put everything on hold to read this wonderful piece. No criticism from me only praises.

lovelygurl:



Think it should b Adams not Jane


@whitemosquito, he is thanking u for d insults


Good job, keep it up! Can't wait for d next update

It is very possible that this work does not belong to the OP. Else how can he make such a mistake for a job "he has been writing for the past 6 years"?
Na copy and paste dey cause this kind of mix up

Nice work@op