Being a Nigerian is gradually changing into something else. No one wants to be the same anymore, besides, being yourself doesn’t make you feel satisfied. We act a little bit weird to stand out. Before reading further, remember, you want to be weird and not crazy! Finding the thin line between both is a matter of perception.

Step 1

Get your own unique hangout joints and give it a weird name. Talk about your secret hangout spot with your friends and share with them the timeless culture surrounding it without inviting them to your secret spot. This will raise eyebrows

Step 2

Follow non popular holidays like 420, ok, 420 is a little bit popular to our Nigerian stoners, talk excessively about a top scientific like the human genome project and the 2045 singularity event. People are definitely going stare and associate weirdness with your personality.

Step 3

Don’t join in the ignorant topics of discussion. Sound knowledgeable and intelligent. This is a very high weirdness marker, people are going respect your weirdness, you will lose fake friends in the process but the real and important friends will be yours to keep and nurture.

Care for little creatures like ants, cockroaches and spiders, yes I said spiders. Trust our naija babes, this is where they come into this discussion fully. Caring for little things like that is a huge sign that you are asking to join the ranks of the single dudes out there. Naija babes don’t love soft pussies, they love the men strong, ignorant and obedient.

Step 4

Eating like Edo witches and wizards. Eating eba with fork and knife, using hand to eat jollof rice at KFC, eating indomie and bread at your girlfriend’s house and voicing out your annoyance at her laziness, trust me, most Nigerian guys accept all nonsense from their babes. The babes will definitely put you in the weird zone for been real about your emotions when it comes to food.

Step 5

Laughing at the little things is a huge marker for Yaba left type or weirdness, I am personally guilty of this. Added with my other nonconformist hobbies, doing and saying things people know but are too chicken to say or act. Playing cloth games with your girlfriend, using costumes when engaging in sexual acts, this is my personal favourite, and yes, I am absolutely weird this way!

Step 6

As a Nigerian, you are programmed not to speak good English for the fear of been labelled as a phony. Screw that train of thinking, I speak perfectly good English. Use words like amazing, cunnilingus in sentences and refuse to explain the meaning. Still want get creative? Mash words together like Smartmugu, please what is a smartmugu? Speak with funny assents, be Bostwanian today, South African tomorrow, Ghanian on Thursdays, the bold ones go for Spanish on Friday nights after a few vodka shots of course. And if all fails, gibberish still works, literally speak in tongues till you get the attention you crave for.

Step 7

Talk to animals, inanimate objects and of course, talk to yourself too. Not that I am advertising Yaba left, but you get the idea. This will make you popular on a weird level and people will definitely pay attention. Do this all the time and you will be put on the hall of fame wall in your school, office, police station, hospital…etc

Step 8

Become an atheist or an agnostic. Be vocal about your choice in the same way the Christians and Muslims are vocal about their religion. Caution though, don’t overdo it, choose your battle field carefully and be wise. Been weird is far different from been hospitalised or dead.

Step 9

Change your wardrobe to bright colour, clashing patterns and crazy textures. You can’t successfully be weird without looking weird as well. Cry when reading books, cry hard when watching movies, cry when making love, cry when having rough sex, cry when in missionary position, cry when collecting money from debtors, cry when your Samsung galaxy phone battery fully charges, and cry when you see your partner’s unclothedness for the first time.

Step 10

Think weird. Be yourself, free the inner beast in you. Don’t pay attention to what others think. Those who matter won’t mind who you really are. No one has the authority to have a say in what rocks your boat. Once you start acting weird, word will get around that you are different, and it’s not entirely a bad thing, infact, it comes with lots of benefits!

Am sorry but I don't understand you please

OP,madness way i know supposed be a thing u are born with,or dem send am from ur village...why u wan create "manual madness" by urself?

I laughed throughout reading this especially the part about making words up I see that in the romance section pmsl I thought I was going mad so I didn't bring them out on it lol @ smartmugu!

Best thread I've read all week (yes I'm crying)

hmmmmmmmmmm

Hmm. These things remind me of Monday, one madman in Abraka.



Learn more about Delta State(Asaba and Warri) here:
https://www.nairaland.com/2278377/asaba-warri-two-capitals-delta

11) Shouting Fayose My Love,GEJ my HERO on Every thread

I love being weird but, annoyinglyweird is what you are preaching... I foresee losses outweighing the profits in this.

*OP come! Kneel there.* How Edo Wizards dey eat

****************************************************
Meanwhile, I bought a kitten earlier this month - hope it isn't weird

12) Weighing food like this

D topic is weird

13) For the ladies make sure u bleach like this

You say??

Do i still need to ask if u dey craze?

No need to be weird, leave it to denrele and charley boy

Lolz!!! dis is funny

dantewest:
Being a Nigerian is gradually changing into something else. No one wants to be the same anymore, besides, being yourself doesn’t make you feel satisfied. We act a little bit weird to stand out. Before reading further, remember, you want to be weird and not crazy! Finding the thin line between both is a matter of perception.

Step 1

Get your own unique hangout joints and give it a weird name. Talk about your secret hangout spot with your friends and share with them the timeless culture surrounding it without inviting them to your secret spot. This will raise eyebrows

Step 2

Follow non popular holidays like 420, ok, 420 is a little bit popular to our Nigerian stoners, talk excessively about a top scientific like the human genome project and the 2045 singularity event. People are definitely going stare and associate weirdness with your personality.

Step 3

Don’t join in the ignorant topics of discussion. Sound knowledgeable and intelligent. This is a very high weirdness marker, people are going respect your weirdness, you will lose fake friends in the process but the real and important friends will be yours to keep and nurture.

Care for little creatures like ants, cockroaches and spiders, yes I said spiders. Trust our naija babes, this is where they come into this discussion fully. Caring for little things like that is a huge sign that you are asking to join the ranks of the single dudes out there. Naija babes don’t love soft pussies, they love the men strong, ignorant and obedient.

Step 4

Eating like Edo witches and wizards. Eating eba with fork and knife, using hand to eat jollof rice at KFC, eating indomie and bread at your girlfriend’s house and voicing out your annoyance at her laziness, trust me, most Nigerian guy hospitalised or dead.
infact, it comes with lots of benefits!

Sam

.

Very true....especially the English language bit.

bros e get some kind things wey u go do

dem go carry u go church for deliverance

dem go say evil spirit don dey worry u

so na to just hold your side and live normal

if not dem go don tire u rope and carry holy plank

nak u b4 dem go know say u dey ok

u r just trying to be Weird

Life is too short to be too serious

Picking your nose with your hand while on an interview

.

Hurray!! Someone has a manual for insanity

OP listed ways to be a well rounded human being.

Apart from No.4 - I don't know why anyone uses their hands to eat rice.

How to be a weird Nigerian.....




shoro niyen?

@OP you deserve a hard knock on your head for trying to be weirdly crazy

dantewest:
Being a Nigerian is gradually changing into something else. No one wants to be the same anymore, besides, being yourself doesn’t make you feel satisfied. We act a little bit weird to stand out. Before reading further, remember, you want to be weird and not crazy! Finding the thin line between both is a matter of perception.

Step 1

Get your own unique hangout joints and give it a weird name. Talk about your secret hangout spot with your friends and share with them the timeless culture surrounding it without inviting them to your secret spot. This will raise eyebrows

Step 2

Follow non popular holidays like 420, ok, 420 is a little bit popular to our Nigerian stoners, talk excessively about a top scientific like the human genome project and the 2045 singularity event. People are definitely going stare and associate weirdness with your personality.

Step 3

Don’t join in the ignorant topics of discussion. Sound knowledgeable and intelligent. This is a very high weirdness marker, people are going respect your weirdness, you will lose fake friends in the process but the real and important friends will be yours to keep and nurture.

Care for little creatures like ants, cockroaches and spiders, yes I said spiders. Trust our naija babes, this is where they come into this discussion fully. Caring for little things like that is a huge sign that you are asking to join the ranks of the single dudes out there. Naija babes don’t love soft pussies, they love the men strong, ignorant and obedient.

Step 4

Eating like Edo witches and wizards. Eating eba with fork and knife, using hand to eat jollof rice at KFC, eating indomie and bread at your girlfriend’s house and voicing out your annoyance at her laziness, trust me, most Nigerian guys accept all nonsense from their babes. The babes will definitely put you in the weird zone for been real about your emotions when it comes to food.

Step 5

Laughing at the little things is a huge marker for Yaba left type or weirdness, I am personally guilty of this. Added with my other nonconformist hobbies, doing and saying things people know but are too chicken to say or act. Playing cloth games with your girlfriend, using costumes when engaging in sexual acts, this is my personal favourite, and yes, I am absolutely weird this way!

Step 6

As a Nigerian, you are programmed not to speak good English for the fear of been labelled as a phony. Screw that train of thinking, I speak perfectly good English. Use words like amazing, cunnilingus in sentences and refuse to explain the meaning. Still want get creative? Mash words together like Smartmugu, please what is a smartmugu? Speak with funny assents, be Bostwanian today, South African tomorrow, Ghanian on Thursdays, the bold ones go for Spanish on Friday nights after a few vodka shots of course. And if all fails, gibberish still works, literally speak in tongues till you get the attention you crave for.

Step 7

Talk to animals, inanimate objects and of course, talk to yourself too. Not that I am advertising Yaba left, but you get the idea. This will make you popular on a weird level and people will definitely pay attention. Do this all the time and you will be put on the hall of fame wall in your school, office, police station, hospital…etc

Step 8

Become an atheist or an agnostic. Be vocal about your choice in the same way the Christians and Muslims are vocal about their religion. Caution though, don’t overdo it, choose your battle field carefully and be wise. Been weird is far different from been hospitalised or dead.

Step 9

Change your wardrobe to bright colour, clashing patterns and crazy textures. You can’t successfully be weird without looking weird as well. Cry when reading books, cry hard when watching movies, cry when making love, cry when having rough sex, cry when in missionary position, cry when collecting money from debtors, cry when your Samsung galaxy phone battery fully charges, and cry when you see your partner’s unclothedness for the first time.

Step 10

Think weird. Be yourself, free the inner beast in you. Don’t pay attention to what others think. Those who matter won’t mind who you really are. No one has the authority to have a say in what rocks your boat. Once you start acting weird, word will get around that you are different, and it’s not entirely a bad thing, infact, it comes with lots of benefits!

this won't make u look weired it will make u look nut

[color=#990000][/color]dats right

Lol @step 9