men are just happier people
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding dress 100k wedding suit 20k
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your oyster.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, but more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is 1k for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping on December 24 in 25 minutes.

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

Drinking OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in 2k, even though it's only for 5k. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay 2k for a 1k item he needs.
A woman will pay 1k for a 2k item that she doesn't need... but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals..

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

No wonder men are happier!

Share this with women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it...
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

I just love this thread

good analysing Op

Dnarvaez:
I just love this thread

good analysing Op

Gracias amigo

izuch:

Gracias amigo

You`re welcome

Lol...very true

LOL..

Men definitely live easier lives, less things to worry about - the only thing that gives most of us a little wrinkle/worry is how to make the next million/thousand.

Yet more men commit suicide than women.

Do happy people kill themselves?

Yea

This thread makes a lot of sense though...

But on a second thought, more men die these days than women. Or is it the troubles of the women that is responsible?

So looking forward to a counter thread

edit: OP I know say you add small maggi to this post but we no see the sauce.

Incline:
Yet more men commit suicide than women.

Do happy people kill themselves?

The creation of woman was was the inception of the undoing of man, people have traced the etymology of the word "evil" to "eve" and drom evil you get "devil". For every man that commits sucide if you investigate properly a woman would/must have instigated him either passively or actively but what can we do, they are a necessary evil, God created them to bring a certain "balance" to a mans life.

izuch:


The creation of woman was was the inception of the undoing of man, people have traced the etymology of the word "evil" to "eve" and drom evil you get "devil". For every man that commits sucide if you investigate properly a woman would/must have instigated him either passively or actively but what can we do, they are a necessary evil, God created them to bring a certain "balance" to a mans life.

Smh

It's funny

But not all of them only apply to men.
Although I can relate to not being able to open all your jars by yourself
Frustrating mehn.

izuch:


The creation of woman was was the inception of the undoing of man, people have traced the etymology of the word "evil" to "eve" and drom evil you get "devil". For every man that commits sucide if you investigate properly a woman would/must have instigated him either passively or actively but what can we do, they are a necessary evil, God created them to bring a certain "balance" to a mans life.

Look atew

cococandy:

Look atew

Wetin do me?

Dis is so so true and so so on-point.

But OP, you forgot to add that three men from three different parents and backgrounds can live together as room mates for three years without having a fight. But it is almost impossible for three women from three diffrenent backgrounds, even if day were friends, to live togeda for three years without a fight or creating a TV series for dia neighbours.

....Nice try op...but i dont think it applies to those on Nairaland


...Majority are perpetually angry and on edge..seemingly thriving on acrimony and quite quarrelsome.

rudebouy:
Dis is so so true and so so on-point.

But OP, you forgot to add that three men from three different parents and backgrounds can live together as room mates for three years without having a fight. But it is almost impossible for three women from three diffrenent backgrounds, even if day were friends, to live togeda for three years without a fight or creating a TV series for dia neighbours.

LOL, you're being kind.

I give them three weeks maximum before someone starts making a fuss over who did not wash the plates or which of them didn't cook/clean.

crackhaus:

LOL, you're being kind.

I give them three weeks maximum before someone starts making a fuss over who did not wash the plates or which of them didn't cook/clean.

You know I never understand. You'd expect for females to look after each others back but no they secretly wish downfall for the other. I experienced babes beef another babe just because she's always dressing nice and getting attention. We guys we'd be like " that guy named swag guy" and get back to discussing about our childish things. Even my mother acts childish won't visit or call her friends and when I ask her she says does her friend call her. I have a friend that I haven't spoken with for years and when he called me the first thing he says is " modafcuker na me how you dey" I think we guys pretty much live an easy life. But then again there are women who buy into our sacred bonding they are practically boys to us because they relate and talk to us in a guys way. They drink with us, share dirty jokes with us and also curse with us. God bless those ladies.

Edit: typing on a z10, forgive the blunders stupid phone

pcguru1:


You know I never understand. You'd expect for females to look after each others back but no they secretly wish downfall for the other. I experienced babes beef another babe just because she's always dressing nice and getting attention. We guys we'd be like " that guy named swag guy" and get back to discussing about our childish things. Even my mother acts childish won't visit or call her friends and when I ask her she says does her friend call her. I have a friend that I haven't spoken with for years and when he called me the first thing he says is " modafcuker na me how you dey" I think we guys pretty much live an easy life. But then again there are women who buy into our sacred bonding they are practically boys to us because they relate and talk to us in a guys way. They drink with us, share dirty jokes with us and also curse with us. God bless those ladies.

Edit: typing on a z10, forgive the blunders stupid phone

I don't even try to understand anymore, it is what it is and women will be women.

I have a sizeable number of lady friends who would prefer being in the company of I and the boys than sitting through a one-hour conversation with one other random chic - this is in sharp contrast to guys that would meet for the first time today and not run out of things to say until one of them has to go do something else.

Ngokafor:




....Nice try op...but i dont think it applies to those on Nairaland


...Majority are perpetually angry and on edge..seemingly thriving on acrimony and quite quarrelsome.

them no count those ones join.