Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

don't you have friends? or even relations like niece or cousins?... I heard they hire ashebis online too.. try Oxl or Jumia first..

Try reuniting with any good old friend u have. Never underate d power of sorry and thank you.
Some may just be keeping distance with u cos of an unresolved quarell.
If theystill don't want u, then don't force urself on anyone/ beg. Start making new friends. I'm sure some nairalanders will b kind as to come b ur bridesmaid.
Btw, don't u have female siblings?

It mustn't be your friend! How about your cousins from both parents? Your guy's siblings? Your church members, neighbours nko? There a whole of people willing to do it for you.

If only you posted with your main ID, I'm sure there are lotta people that'll be ELATED to be your bridesmaid. Nairaland is really a great family especially if you're frequent here like you said. I've met a couple of INTERESTING dudes and chics. Lest I forget HML!!

You can always hire friends.
Source: The Wedding Ringer.

What makes you fall out with the friends you have had?Even when distance separates you,you can still keep in touch by phones or mail.
It seems the choice you have is to either not have a bridal train or you could get some event planners to organise some girls for you.

You are a regular commentor here and you wonder why you lack female friends?

I didn't buy the excuse you gave because I know why.

Thing is, many of the ladies on here have made internet their only friend. They spend all their time here, no time for their families or friends.

Sha, things are changing so I believe they will soon be able to buy husbands or friends from olx when they need it.

wasnt there an Indian movie about this.

Wow sorry to hear dis. y not join a department in church and make friends dat way.

What of your church members...choir group...etc
This is the time you need them most or are you beefing with them too?

Story sounds made up(no offense) but still, bridesmaids in Nigeria range from friends to siblings, cousins, hubby's family, siblings friends, even acquaintances, so I don't think you have a problem, well except you miss having friends and want some, in which case, I suggest you reach out to your former pals and work things out, you can also make new friends.

If you have subsisted without friends all this while, now is not the time to seek company that could end up marring your marriage.

Weddings last less than 6 hours and a lot of ladies wouldn't mind doing it for just clothes and shoes, if you end up building friendship with them, fine. Otherwise move on and concentrate in making your man your friend and the kids that would soon be coming


HML

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

We could start by saying ''Hi''
Well,i loving making new friends...

Must you have bridemaids?

You may decide to use children on your bridal train if you insist you want a long train. I feel you must have a chief bridemaids only.

When is your wedding?

How many coffetti and bridesmaid girls/ladies do you need?

What is the uniform budget?

We can always arrange them for you. Abi no be to wear cloth, smile, hold flower and take pictures?

Your problem is solved

Hi,

Its not compulsory you use your friends as bridesmaid on your wedding day, but if you want a large bridal party, you could ask neighbours or even rent bridesmaid. You necessarily dont
have to pay them, just take care of their essentials - dress, hair, makeup, transport. I did that for a client once, could do that if you want. I simply used my ushers.

You shouldn't be ashamed of being friendless, in the long run, it will pay you. Less drama! Otherwise join a church group.

Must you have bridesmaids? For me only a chief bridesmaid would do. It also won't be cool if your husband has groomsmen when you don't have maids to match. So either you both agree to use just a best man and chief bride maid, or start making friends ASAP, or just hire them.

if u have one female cousin or any female close that can fit into ur bridal train,tell her to invite her friends over(if she has any),that way u can make and tell them abt ur wedding
Or
get ur male cousins to bring their girlfriends 4 u

Shoro leleyi sha

mcdokwe:
If you have subsisted without friends all this while, now is not the time to seek company that could end up marring your marriage.

Weddings last less than 6 hours and a lot of ladies wouldn't mind down it for just clothes and shoes, if you end up building friendship with them, fine. Otherwise move on and concentrate in making your man your friend and the kids that would sonn be coming


HML

qbd2:
Try reuniting with any good old friend u have. Never underate d power of sorry and thank you.
Some may just be keeping distance with u cos of an unresolved quarell.
If theystill don't want u, then don't force urself on anyone/ beg. Start making new friends. I'm sure some nairalanders will b kind as to come b ur bridesmaid.
Btw, don't u have female siblings?

Yea I have a lil sis who is just 9yrs

freecocoa:
Story sounds made up(no offense) but still, bridesmaids in Nigeria range from friends to siblings, cousins, hubby's family, siblings friends, even acquaintances, so I don't think you have a problem, well except you miss having friends and want some, in which case, I suggest you reach out to your former pals and work things out, you can also make new friends.

Why would my personal dilemma sound made up? I guess it's very unsual to see someone whose got no female friends. However, that's the truth in my situation believe it or not Thanx for your advice all the same!

Enypie:

We could start by saying ''Hi''
Well,i loving making new friends...

Hello!

sassygal:
Hi,
Its not compulsory you use your friends as bridesmaid on your wedding day, but if you want a large bridal party, you could ask neighbours or even rent bridesmaid. You necessarily dont
have to pay them, just take care of their essentials - dress, hair, makeup, transport. I did that for a client once, could do that if you want. I simply used my ushers.
You shouldn't be ashamed of being friendless, in the long run, it will pay you. Less drama! Otherwise join a church group.

Thanx for this, I've been coping perfectly fine without friends for a long time now. My fiancee has been and will always be my best friend. Just that I'm suddenly starting to feel some-type-of-way about it now that my wedding is coming up. I appreciate your comment bbe.

interleukin:
Must you have bridesmaids? For me only a chief bridesmaid would do. It also won't be cool if your husband has groomsmen when you don't have maids to match. So either you both agree to use just a best man and chief bride maid, or start making friends ASAP, or just hire them.

na wedding you get to know the essence of friendship. Have you heard the yoruba proverb that says eyan laso mi . bridesmaid help weddings get colourful and help with the logistics like attending to guests, help serve food, get to see those who haven't eating etc


a wedding without bridal train is dry. Especially after looking at your wedding photographs.you don't want your kids friends and siblings looking at few pages of your album and getting bored.



Don't mind all those saying wedding feferity doesn't matter . you only marry once except you plan to marry 3or 4 times like some of my friends then I can say don't pay attention to details like that. Abi don't you like these

Your friends and or sisters or sister's friends can be your bridal trainor even schoolmates or their friends

You can also use your sisters friends or your mom's friends daughters

shirazlova:


Yea I have a lil sis who is just 9yrs



Why would my personal dilemma sound made up? I guess it's very unsual to see someone whose got no female friends. However, that's the truth in my situation believe it or not Thanx for your advice all the same!




Hello!






Thanx for this, I've been coping perfectly fine without friends for a long time now. My fiancee has been and will always be my best friend. Just that I'm suddenly starting to feel some-type-of-way about it now that my wedding is coming up. I appreciate your comment bbe.

where is the wedding holding? is it not aso ebi? There will be jollof rice abi? pm me n I could call up some of my friends for you. believe me...We are fun

NAIRALAND BABEES can help you with that..

LADIES are UBIQUITOUS

Look at the pretty neighbors and church members, give out the maid of honour dresses for free. Yours will be the most well attended one by pretty "friends". You could give out 3yrds each of a beautiful Ankara to be made into any style like my friend did if you are on a budget. Girls she didn't even know were part of the 'ore iyawo' clique

@ op Same here, all the "friends" around are just acquaintance. Use ur hubby's cousins, church members, family friends and neighbors. I ve done bridal train for neighbors and family frnds.

It's not compulsory, but is important u have frnds beside you. Best of luck

Do you really need bridesmaids though?

MoNickk:
where is the wedding holding? is it not aso ebi? There will be jollof rice abi? pm me n I could call up some of my friends for you. believe me...We are fun

Ermmmm, MoNickk, if you are going, i am too. let me in on the travel plans.....

Where is the wedding taking place? If u are in Lagos then u are in luck, send mi a mail and I can help u out or rada supply u wiv some bevy of ladies, and I mean beautiful gals dat are ready to boogie down with you...

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

@OP:

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

I had about two female friends as at when I was getting married and one of them couldn't make it.

Still I was able to pull 6 flower girls and 6 Ankara ladies

I requested my cousins, husband's niece, Sunday schl teacher, church members etc. Do me the honors of joining my train with me physically visiting when possible.

You can achieve it.

Look well around you