ademega:
I am not in any way in support of raising a finger at a woman. I consider it barbaric .In fact, only a mentally disabled man will beat and beat his wife at the slightest provocation .

Having said the above , and with a thread a nairalander opened yesterday about her friend that was always receiving the beating of her life from her husband,the story of my step brother came to my mind .

Before my brother got married,he was this gentle, quiet, caring, loving and hard working type. He got married to this beautiful and also easy going lady. We were all happy about the union and expecting a kind of union that will be a model for us his younger ones.

There was this evening we received an unusual call from the wife saying my brother has been giving her the beating of her life since morning . That he has nearly killed her. Immediately she dropped the call, her mum called again that if anything should happen to her daughter that my mum and the whole family would be responsible and in for it. Her younger sister called again, calling my brother unprintable names and giving different kinds of warnings, if anything should happen to her sister.

This destabilsed us in the house. We were confused. Nobody has ever reported my brother in the house before, hence it was strange. We called my brother but he didn't even pick .

To cut the long story short, my brother eventually came home after three days to actually explain what happened.
He said since he got married to the popularly believed gentle,innocent girl, it has been horror for him. He said he has been trying to protect that good quality popularly believed by the family, and that was the reason why he has not reported her newly discovered characters to anyone and was hoping that she would change sooner .

He said for the past two years, that his wife slapped or beat him on the slightest provocation. He showed us old and new wounds all over his body. He said he has been enduring it all these while . He further said he noticed his wife was becoming stronger and happy with her actions because every time she would introduce new styles of beating him.

He said on this faithful day, there was an argument and before he could say one or two words, one, two slaps don land gidigba for his face. She didn't stop there, but went further to use her high heel shoes on him. Not yet done she went further to bite him severally ( the hand bite almost resulted in Whitlow). We saw with our eyes all the injuries inflicted on him . In fact, my younger brother had to ask him if his legs and hands were tied together while all these were going on. He said he was just smiling and trying to hold her together .

After all these, he said he had to talked to himself: for how long would these continue? He said his wife was doing all these just because she knows his position towards beating a lady, and before they got married he had one time or the other condemned men that do beat their wives and even called them animals.

The wife having realised this, was now doing the beating and expecting the husband to keep to his words and be strong in his conviction .

He said on this particular day, when his wife had finished doing her worst, he went to her ( not in anger but intentionally) and told her that what he was about to do is necessary at this point . That he wanted to prove one thing, which is , not that he doesn't have the power to beat but he has vowed not to in his life and seeing the type of woman she is, he has to prove this point today.

He first begged for forgiveness from God and her, and then, immediately, he landed two hot slaps on her face which caught her unawares and her jaw dropped.

Immediately he did this ,she went straight to pick up her phone and started calling her relatives and telling them lies that he has nearly finished her with beating .

In this case , what is your judgement ?

Pls dont tell me the guy just ended it with 2 slaps.
I hope say he punch the girl eye comot?

akinboyepelumi9:
The Man is to be blame jare, Why didn't he report her to her Family?? I am sure the family knows her true Colour, and would have mentioned it in the process of rebuking her. She might have been the area fighter and pretend to be "Madam Peace" whenever she's with him and his family.

Chai... You remind me of mama peace... dearis God o

For me ooo....the first day she raised her hand to slap me will begin d drama. I ll hold her hand, look into her eyes and tell her baby, raise this hand up against me ever again and we are over!....jst because d boss dosent want to fire you dosent mean he takes sh*t....

ademega:
I am not in any way in support of raising a finger at a woman. I consider it barbaric .In fact, only a mentally disabled man will beat and beat his wife at the slightest provocation .

Having said the above , and with a thread a nairalander opened yesterday about her friend that was always receiving the beating of her life from her husband,the story of my step brother came to my mind .

Before my brother got married,he was this gentle, quiet, caring, loving and hard working type. He got married to this beautiful and also easy going lady. We were all happy about the union and expecting a kind of union that will be a model for us his younger ones.

There was this evening we received an unusual call from the wife saying my brother has been giving her the beating of her life since morning . That he has nearly killed her. Immediately she dropped the call, her mum called again that if anything should happen to her daughter that my mum and the whole family would be responsible and in for it. Her younger sister called again, calling my brother unprintable names and giving different kinds of warnings, if anything should happen to her sister.

This destabilsed us in the house. We were confused. Nobody has ever reported my brother in the house before, hence it was strange. We called my brother but he didn't even pick .

To cut the long story short, my brother eventually came home after three days to actually explain what happened.
He said since he got married to the popularly believed gentle,innocent girl, it has been horror for him. He said he has been trying to protect that good quality popularly believed by the family, and that was the reason why he has not reported her newly discovered characters to anyone and was hoping that she would change sooner .

He said for the past two years, that his wife slapped or beat him on the slightest provocation. He showed us old and new wounds all over his body. He said he has been enduring it all these while . He further said he noticed his wife was becoming stronger and happy with her actions because every time she would introduce new styles of beating him.

He said on this faithful day, there was an argument and before he could say one or two words, one, two slaps don land gidigba for his face. She didn't stop there, but went further to use her high heel shoes on him. Not yet done she went further to bite him severally ( the hand bite almost resulted in Whitlow). We saw with our eyes all the injuries inflicted on him . In fact, my younger brother had to ask him if his legs and hands were tied together while all these were going on. He said he was just smiling and trying to hold her together .

After all these, he said he had to talked to himself: for how long would these continue? He said his wife was doing all these just because she knows his position towards beating a lady, and before they got married he had one time or the other condemned men that do beat their wives and even called them animals.

The wife having realised this, was now doing the beating and expecting the husband to keep to his words and be strong in his conviction .

He said on this particular day, when his wife had finished doing her worst, he went to her ( not in anger but intentionally) and told her that what he was about to do is necessary at this point . That he wanted to prove one thing, which is , not that he doesn't have the power to beat but he has vowed not to in his life and seeing the type of woman she is, he has to prove this point today.

He first begged for forgiveness from God and her, and then, immediately, he landed two hot slaps on her face which caught her unawares and her jaw dropped.

Immediately he did this ,she went straight to pick up her phone and started calling her relatives and telling them lies that he has nearly finished her with beating .

In this case , what is your judgement ?

Only two slaps? Not cool brah, you need a lasting impression.

I am totally against hitting a woman but in order to pass the message in this situation a real drilling would have been perfect.

olami234lekan:

Chai... You remind me of mama peace... dearis God o

LWKMD

Sorry if my contribution seems weird. That's part of the reasons why it's necessary u knw how ur fiancée behaves @ home (with parents, siblings & neighbors). I see it as awkward when I see some (yoruba) guys feeling too egocentric to visit their potential in law's house as often as u can to know what u want to know b4 tying the knot with their daughter. No matter how a girl pretends when with u, she can't hide all when @ home. For the topic, I'm sure d mother/sister knows her daughter/sister so reporting to them 1st would have been better before raising ur hand too. I condemn that lady but the man shoudnt have given her to much chance to go that far irrespective of his stance on not raising his hand on a woman.

Omg! what kind of home are they nurturing? No one should be abused in a relationship! No woman, no man.

I'm sure the atmosphere is a lot calmer now...

Then to his in-law
She Stopped communicating with his mother in law and that his wife sister .
Reason :
Before the whole thing got to that stage , he said he would always call the mother in-law to report his wife on several occasions but it seems instead of the wife to soft pedal she was becoming worst . in fact , he said two weeks before the incident , he called the mother in law and told her that would be
last time he would call to report her daughter ,that hence forth , the daughter will be the one doing the complain. Just like the past , she promised to talk to her and promising that she would change .
It was that incident that actually showed that the mother has always believe the stories of her daughter .and this got my brother angry and believed the mother has been the one giving her courage to continue with her bad character .

Personally , am still begging him to start talking to them ( mother In-law and wife sister )
Then it brings the question , how deep should in-laws get involved in a couples' fight ?

Please don't comment if you are yet to read the below story in this thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/2301412/one-slap-wife-case

I intentionally stopped that story of my step brother at that level so that I could see reactions.
You won't believe it , that was the last time my brother's wife ever raised her hand on my brother . just like some people said in the other thread , the two slaps brought her brain to factory reset . I Dont support beating a woman and I won't support it any day ,but I must confess ,that two slaps worked .
The family intervened and my brother was sad about it because he had to talk about so many issues he has been enduring and hidding from . people. Pastors and people at home talked to the wife as follows .
1. That as a woman ,the husband is the head ,and for raising your hand to beat your head is a curse .
2. That she should thank God that her husband is the kind of man he is , he would have sent her to early grave .
3. That for even beating her husband , she was using her own hand to destroy her home .
4. That she is not a good role model to her younger ones and ladies around .

And to my brother too
1. That its understandable ,he has been trying to protect his wife from the family but at the same time ,in situation like that, you talk to peole who is experienced and knowledgeable to talk sense to her.
2. It was discovered, He has this sharp mouth that could bring up a dead body and fight . so he was equally cautioned on how he talk to his wife during provocation.
3. It exposed the family , people that heard about the issue are now interested to know what is happening in their marriage .

I will also need to add, it took a very longtime for joy and happiness to be restored to that house and not yet fully self .