I've been wanting to write this for quite a while now. These are some observations about Canada and by extension North America with a few differences here and there. For example while in the US, people are generally forthcoming with their feelings, the Canadian is more reticent. An American might say **** you to your face if he does not like you but the Canadian will keep his feelings to himself and say things behind your back. Gossip is a big part of life here. A group of people will talk about someone and when a person from the same group leaves the room, it's gossip time about the person who just left.

Things are done a whole lot differently here trust me! The Canadian has a problem with the 'loud and seemingly aggressive' tones of the typical African particularly Nigerian. The way we talk which is just our own way of being heard puts them off. To them, it's confrontational in nature not knowing that it's a product of the system one grew up in. In Naija, you must speak up to be heard. Not only that, with all the ambient noise that pervades the Nigerian environment (generator noise, loud music blaring from cassette sellers,car horns blaring to name a few), can you really blame us? I remember one time a lady rushed to the security guards in a mall in Toronto stating that some people were fighting outside. When the guards got there they started laughing explaining to the woman that they were just Nigerians being their usual selves talking. She had thought they were fighting due to the loudness of their tone.

Another thing with the typical Canadian, is that once they've made up their minds about a person or thing, it will take the Grace of God (something most of them don't believe in by the way) to change their minds. They hate long stories ( which the African is an expert at)! If you have anything to say, a few sentences stating only the facts, devoid of emotions will go a long way in getting your point across. This i had to learn the hard way personally. Once you launch into 'long thing', a glazed look comes over them and you're tuned out!

If you're trying to get a point across or maybe trying to chat up a lady etc, the Canadian's first response should be enough clue to 'ya ara e ni brain' because if they go quiet on you, you might find yourself in a heap of trouble. So Romeo or Lothario, your Naija persistence may not work here o!

They are also very quick to give people names and labels. If you see talk to a lady for example and she said no to you the first time, please don't try to chat her up at another time lest you be called a stalker or pervert.

Your 'thick' Nigerian accent is something they also want to point out most times in Canuck land. If you did not come here as a kid but as an adult, in most cases, you will never be able to speak 'phonee' so don't even try.

The cure for this? Slow down when talking and try to enunciate your words clearly. Also develop a thick skin and try to flip the script on them, saying they also have an accent! Don't be intimidated! Everyone here apart from the original landowners is also an immigrant jare!

One of the things however that will help one to get far quickly is to immediately have an 'oyibo' name if you had none before landing!
How many white people will you be explaining Ajanlekoko to?

So hurry up and get a name wey papa & mama no give you. Trust me it helps your progress!

One of the greatest things that will help you here is to understand the pecking order or power structure gender wise. Here a man is not in charge o as most people already know about the Western World.

The order is Women, Children, Dogs, Rats, Raccoons, etc before Man. So quickly jettison your 'I'm the man mentality' and be prepared to be the underdog otherwise?

To be continued!


Oh Canada - Part 2 The Love And Romance Conundrum!


Like Billy Ocean once sang: 'I used to believe that life was a fairy tale'

By this in particular, i always thought North American ladies were the stuff Hollywood films everly project!

Romantic, candle light dining, flowers and chocolate loving ladies!

This was when way back i was a JJC fresh off the boat fella!

Now? I can see clearly now the rain is gone!

I've come to understand that though the envelope (skin color) may be different, the contents are usually the same old, same old!

Toronto is a lot like Lagos where everyone has come to hustle and make money!

The thinking is that Nigerian ladies are too materialistic and money hungry!

If you've been in that boat and think the ladies abroad (no matter the nationality) are any different, you have another think coming, trust me!

When it comes to sex, love and dating, there is an interesting angle to the whole thing!

The fat white lady will marry the black dude whether African or not seeing that the white bloke prefers slim shady's.

The black bloke will mostly marry the fat lady for papers.

You see them in the mall with the lady in tow looking unhappy and checking out ladies when wifey is not looking!

The white dude who is on top of his game prefers exotic ladies like Chinese etc since they don't come with as much attitude as their white counterpart and hey, they look sexier eh?

The brown skin (Indian or Pakistani/ Guyanese etc) especially those born here are looking for the whites to marry. It's a leg up the social ladder!

The Somalians will not marry outside of their own. Good thing too, for even though they are beautiful, they've got some anger issues that may result in black hawk down kind of thingy for the man!

Ethiopians sometimes may break protocol and marry an outsider! That would make my personal dream come through! Nice looking ladies sha they are!

The Filipinos, Islanders (Jamaicans, Dominican Republic etc) will marry you for papers at the drop of a hat and not necessarily out of love!

If you are skinny,handsome, a sports person etc and rich to boot, the skinny blondes will be lining up to your door!

I could go on and on, but at the days end true love without some ulterior benefits such as money etc is hard to find oh!

For that, you have to go to Provinces where dem never open eye like Manitoba, Prince Edward Island etc!

So for you dissing the Nigerian ladies, love is where you find it!

Bibire ko se fi owo ra!

Bookie

The Ajanlekoko part and dogs, cat being above men in pecking order is funny.

torontoboy:

One of the things however that will help one to get far quickly is to immediately have an 'oyibo' name if you had none before landing!
How many white people will you be explaining Ajanlekoko to?

I don't see how adopting a western name correlates with 'get far quickly'. I am one of those Africans/Nigerians who have a purely African name. I have never been vilified on the account of my name; on the contrary, I have actually been praised for the richness and cultural depth of my name especially by those who eventually get to know what the name means.

Inasmuch as I believe that immigrants should integrate into some aspects of the culture of their host, an immigrant who chooses to adopt a western-sounding name is not integrating, but rather, he/she is simply succumbing to an inferiority complex.

I'm sure you were just being sarcastic anyway, but otherwise, this is a well-written article.

claremont:


I don't see how adopting a western name correlates with 'get far quickly'. I am one of those Africans/Nigerians who have a purely African name. I have never been vilified on the account of my name; on the contrary, I have actually been praised for the richness and cultural depth of my name especially by those who eventually get to know what the name means.

Inasmuch as I believe that immigrants should integrate into some aspects of the culture of their host, an immigrant who chooses to adopt a western-sounding name is not integrating, but rather, he/she is simply succumbing to an inferiority complex.

I'm sure you were just being sarcastic anyway, but otherwise, this is a well-written article.

I second this, if they can learn how to pronounce Chinese,mexican and Spanish name. they should also learn how to pronounce Nigerian names, wetin sef

If you run your own business, fine, you're good to go especially if you're dealing with fellow Africans. However if you are dealing with pure whites in a corporate structure, it's only wise to have an English name. After-all, back in the day even our parents were given English names. You may not agree but with the little i know it really helps! Trust me!

SkinnyDude:
Bookie

skinny,re u back online

MojAyo:
skinny,re u back online

ya, Babes. But Not Whatsapp

SkinnyDude:
ya, Babes. But Not Whatsapp

I see,nairalanding things,how is ur studies going,and how re ur parents,miss ya