I honestly don't have sympathy for any woman anymore. Check their life history and see how they've mocked, played games like 'hard-to-get' and messed guys up in their younger years, now they've "turned a new leaf" and are finding it difficult to get a man. Well, karma is a bittch. In all you do in life, always remember tomorrow. Now, they'll jump on anything in trousers.

adconline:

Come out of fantasy island.. Folks marry because of physical attributes..Height, skin color, waist size, breast size, butt size, dentition, body size etc.It's called desirable traits in partners..

Yes people do but if you speak to any marriage counselor or any couple that has been married for over 20 years, you'll learn it takes much more than physical attributes to make a successful marriage. Physical attributes will fade over time but mental attributes and personality lasts a lifetime. Agree or disagree, the fact remains simple, responsible guys look for way more than physical attributes when seeking a life partner!

DeeTus:
Are these girls really good? If yes, i'm willing to talk with one of them.

Alright. They are good as far as I know. Until you get into a relationship, then you know more...

winie:
well said. GOD bless you for looking at it from that perspective. This is almost always the truth. To all single christian men and ladies, I say keep the faith and don't let the seeming delay make u lose ur crown. I met a good guy, the attraction was mutual. He was ready to settle down and a gentle man. BUT, it didn't work out cos while he wanted sex while dating, I didn't cos of GOD's command on the issue. We talked things over, and decided to call it quits amicably. Though it broke my heart to let him go, but then, GOD's kingdom comes first. Hard for our generation to understand. It profits you nothing to lose your peace and salvation, no matter the pressure. May GOD help us all.

Please send me a pm. There's something i really want to tell you. Cheers!

Op, if you are a good person and a good friend, you will help those desperados by looking for suitable dudes you know for them. The civilized whites call it 'match making'. NL is a place filled with unproductive miscreants so you will not get reasonable answers from most people here. You shouldn't have bothered at all.

rallymento:
Have you guys ever seen a professional in these field of study cry for a husband? All the Doctors I know are married including the ill mannered, ugly and religious ones. Same applies to nurses , air hostess and engineers(not all sha)! Most female bankers are considered prosti...., while those in business are considered not homely! Plz I am not disputing that ladies with other professions don't get married on time. My point is this " a lady's profession determines to an extent 'if she will get married or not'! I have a doctor friend,from age 24 till now (33) suitors are still coming for marriage but all she wants is to pass one exam or the other. While on the other hand some ladies her age will fight to get her kind of suitor. I also think she is a virgin.

And that's the basic truth. Men generally do not like desperados no matter the age. As long as you keep and look busy, responsible men especially will always want to be around you. Most the comments here are just pure trash. ....Nice observation.

bizmogul:
I have a couple of female friends who have gotten to the " age of marriage" like they say. Between the age range of 28 - 30. Now, these chics as far as I know them are not miscreants ( you know like the kongo aso girls that sleep around). I am not saying they have not done or they don't do but they are good chics. Two weeks ago, I had a discussion with one of them and she practically broke down in tears.

Why can't I get a husband? All my friends are getting married; the annoying thing is that most of these friends of mine I know how they live their dirty lives. I am just here being the good girl, going to Church and at the end of the day, I end up with a guy that doesn't appreciate me. Why are you guys like this? I am tired, she yelled emotionally!

Now, that's just one of them and the other who said she was tired of being a good girl and doing all that relationship kind of thing, she just needs to man who would come to her and just say " let's get married"... I can go on and on with their stories but I was just thinking...

There are lots of ladies out there looking for husbands and it's crazy for these because Men now take advantage of their condition. Some guys even go as far as promising them marriage just to get the cookies. Guys sha! I was wondering, is it that these chics are not doing something they ought to be doing? Is it that they don't position themselves to get the exact kind of guys that they want in their life? Or is it that they have behavioral issues or something? But so far I know, they are good people.

When ladies get to this " age of marriage" period, it seems like they put themselves under intense pressure. Like when they see their friends getting married and family and friends asking " when are you getting married?" it makes them want to jump into any man and I tell you, a brother can see through desperation somehow! I think ladies should try as much as they can not to give into this pressure, maybe they should focus on doing something else, get involved in a Church project, activities, join a group, develop themselves further and in the course of this they could find the man of their dreams.


I really don't know, but what do you think?

I know God's Time is the best, and that God alone knows all things. If she is indeed a true child of God, you can tell her to pray to God to miraculously arrange the meeting of herself and her spouse.

Where are they from?

precisionindepth:
its a nice project..u can start with a good literature review

Mind if we discussed it outside here? i'll seriously appreciate ur opinion and ideas

saintfizzo:

Mind if we discussed it outside here? Whatsapp 08076516110, i'll seriously appreciate ur opinion and ideas

lol.

First of all..I'm not a church fanatic or religion. I have had my own fair share of disappointments from all the churches that preach financial prosperity and make us think God is Father Christmas. Ladies close to 30 and desperate for marriage should know that there is no brother Sunday in church. Stop going to church to deceive yourselves. There's is no amount of fasting and prayer that would get you a husband. Cut The bullshit. You really think you getting a husband is more important to your almighty God than the people dieing and suffering everyday expecting a miracle. Personally I do not believe in God and never will though, I have tried. My deduction is marriage is not for everybody as I was once told. Not everybody would get married. Infact my friends father told me all the bad girl frm his school days married good husbands and the good ones married bad men(they are probably more experienced and knw how to filter these men. So, you should start doing things differently because it sounds like you won't even marry for love. I, myself have made up my mind if I don't get married before 30, that's the end of marriage. There's nothing to be scared of because it is societal and traditional norms that make marriage compulsory in Africa and the Rest of the world.

Professurr:
That's a hasty generalisation bro.

Sire dont take that peckharm born Londoner serious, he is kinda clowny,

its like you're new here?

Op the matter is complex. Factors ranging from over supply, to the economy, unemployment which has raised the age most men are able to cater for family.
What is the average age guys marry these days. 32-35. Guess what they will pick a 22-24 year old
So what happens to the over 25s. Let's face it. In this age,there are many ladies who will not taste marriage unless they opt for polygamy. It has nothing to do with their morality. They just did not meet a man who was prepared for marriage in that magic age bracket. Prayer may help you manage the pressure but those who do get married mostly don't pray. Develop yourself cos at the end of the day a woman greatest protection is some money of her own.

That's the problem with these girls. There's a girl I have come to love without reservation, but, guess what the obstacle is? She got a guy she's been dating for years now, a guy that hasn't even formally paid a bride price on her, promises her love on earth and in heaven. I have tried everything to make her see my own side of the story, but she wouldn't even oblige me neither a date nor a brief meeting, all because her heart, body and soul are fixated on some else line, hook and sinker.

Ladies, a little descent friendship with the other guy wouldn't bit; otherwise, u never get to decipher who your suited hubby is. Stop falling in love on emotions or for the wrong reasons.

precisionindepth:
lol.

I'm for real... not asking U out or anyfin like it... giv me a channel to interview u one on one... u sound like my preffered audience... pls grant my request

saintfizzo:

I'm for real... not asking U out or anyfin like it... giv me a channel to interview u one on one... u sound like my preffered audience... pls grant my request

the project is for real?

[size=13pt]Guys are struggling to get jobs and money to settle down, while women are worried about getting married. Guys want to get married but the finance is just not there yet. Marriage and family is a huge financial responsibility to go into. The guys like the girls but they don't have the jobs or the money to marry them. Men need finance to marry the girls they like, girls want a man to marry and care for their financial and other needs. Neither of them is getting what they desire[/size]

precisionindepth:
the project is for real?

Yes it is.... I'm researching the topic "Fear of being alone"

saintfizzo:
Too much focus on becoming a wife... kinda myopic IMO... focus on ur career and be the best U can be... see how much attention u get from opposite sex afterwards, the real problem is mispriority

Trust me,being churchy doesn't guarantee shiiit

Toks2008:


And this is wjy many Nigerian ladies will grow grey hair waiting gor a husband.

You spend nights with a strugggling guy in one room apartment,he screws u at will front and back in one room apartment, sometimes u cook for him and do his laundery yet u say he is not ready for marriage,he is jobless,u cant marry him in one room apartment...DUMB FOOL. Please what else does he want from a wife?

Most Nigerian ladies are so so dumb...the economy of this country no longer warrant the criteria of this job thing. Where is the Job sef?

What a lady needs is a man with vision,purposeful will and leave the rest to GOD.
.

How many men have proposed to a girl while they were struggling or jobless & living in a one-room apartment? Do you know of any, as am yet to see one.

A lot of such men will tell the girl directly and indirectly that they are not financially ready to take a wife.....some even go as far as telling her to hold on by promising that things will get better. And in some cases, the poor girl does exactly that. She may even assist the guy financially from her meagre earnings, once in a while.

Once things improve, many guys start looking for excuses. That is when you hear stories like: "She is too old for my taste!"

Guy, you met this girl when she was 24, but now after spending time waiting for you to make up your mind and praying to God to improve your lot, she is now 32 years old. Suddenly, she has become old, abi? God dey!

Other stories you will hear include: "She is not from my area.." Bros, when she was using her small salary to go to the market and cook for you while you dated for more than 7 years, and when she was helping you with small loans in order to ease the financial pressure on you as well as letting you slake your lust in her body, you did not remember that one oh! Dia ris God, oh!

Or the last one: "My people said she is not good for me!" Chai! When you were poor and you were telling her to stick around because tomorrow would be bright, you did not ask your people's opinion oh! Now that you have exchanged your 'leggediz-benz' for a Kia Cerato, your family have suddenly decided to voice their opinion....

There is something called karma....

abbey621:


Seriously how old are you? Can you guarantee if you marry a slim girl now that in 10 to 15 years she won't get fat? Out of all the qualities of a good woman, weight is only your concern? SMH

so childish

Who would marry 28/30 year olds, when there are cute 21/23 graduates ripe for marriage? Lol. They should move to one corner jare.

The beautiful Husbands are not yet born...


#BuhThatsNonOfMyBusiness !!!

The beautiful Husbands are not yet born...


#BuhThatsNonOfMyBusiness !!!

rallymento:
Have you guys ever seen a professional in these field of study cry for a husband? All the Doctors I know are married including the ill mannered, ugly and religious ones. Same applies to nurses , air hostess and engineers(not all sha)! Most female bankers are considered prosti...., while those in business are considered not homely! Plz I am not disputing that ladies with other professions don't get married on time. My point is this " a lady's profession determines to an extent 'if she will get married or not'! I have a doctor friend,from age 24 till now (33) suitors are still coming for marriage but all she wants is to pass one exam or the other. While on the other hand some ladies her age will fight to get her kind of suitor. I also think she is a virgin.

ALLELUJAH!!!! the good women never stay too long on the market... and thats a FACT!

Neemee:
That's the problem with these girls. There's a girl I have come to love without reservation, but, guess what the obstacle is? She got a guy she's been dating for years now, a guy that hasn't even formally paid a bride price on her, promises her love on earth and in heaven. I have tried everything to make her see my own side of the story, but she wouldn't even oblige me neither a date nor a brief meeting, all because her heart, body and soul are fixated on some else line, hook and sinker.

Ladies, a little descent friendship with the other guy wouldn't bit; otherwise, u never get to decipher who your suited hubby is. Stop falling in love on emotions or for the wrong reasons.

so are you saying that women should just settle for ANYONE who ask for their hand in marriage, without a say on the matter? she is in love with some dude, and although they aint married yet, she believes in him, and is willing to wait for when the time will be right. go find another babe jo!

abbey621:

Yes people do but if you speak to any marriage counselor or any couple that has been married for over 20 years, you'll learn it takes much more than physical attributes to make a successful marriage. Physical attributes will fade over time but mental attributes and personality lasts a lifetime. Agree or disagree, the fact remains simple, responsible guys look for way more than physical attributes when seeking a life partner!

the above in bold is the main point of this issue.... a responsible guy knows a liability when he sees one, and if these babe are overlooked by "all" responsible guys then something must be really fishy about these leftover babes.

bizmogul:
I have a couple of female friends who have gotten to the " age of marriage" like they say. Between the age range of 28 - 30. Now, these chics as far as I know them are not miscreants ( you know like the kongo aso girls that sleep around). I am not saying they have not done or they don't do but they are good chics. Two weeks ago, I had a discussion with one of them and she practically broke down in tears.

Why can't I get a husband? All my friends are getting married; the annoying thing is that most of these friends of mine I know how they live their dirty lives. I am just here being the good girl, going to Church and at the end of the day, I end up with a guy that doesn't appreciate me. Why are you guys like this? I am tired, she yelled emotionally!

Now, that's just one of them and the other who said she was tired of being a good girl and doing all that relationship kind of thing, she just needs to man who would come to her and just say " let's get married"... I can go on and on with their stories but I was just thinking...

There are lots of ladies out there looking for husbands and it's crazy for these because Men now take advantage of their condition. Some guys even go as far as promising them marriage just to get the cookies. Guys sha! I was wondering, is it that these chics are not doing something they ought to be doing? Is it that they don't position themselves to get the exact kind of guys that they want in their life? Or is it that they have behavioral issues or something? But so far I know, they are good people.

When ladies get to this " age of marriage" period, it seems like they put themselves under intense pressure. Like when they see their friends getting married and family and friends asking " when are you getting married?" it makes them want to jump into any man and I tell you, a brother can see through desperation somehow! I think ladies should try as much as they can not to give into this pressure, maybe they should focus on doing something else, get involved in a Church project, activities, join a group, develop themselves further and in the course of this they could find the man of their dreams.


I really don't know, but what do you think?

I have heard a couple of these stories about decent girls who seem not to have decent guys as husbands. I have a few notes about them and girls generally.

1. Very Few of them have a sense of purpose/vision: am not talking of a job here, I mean something that drives you, makes you cry/shout/work/stress yourself without feeling the stress. Something that your heart wants to build on and work on, whose only gain ( at least temporarily) is the satisfaction of it been done. Many of these 'decent' girls don't have these things and I believe its one of the few things that really attract decent men. Check out most of the ladies in the coporate world who suppose to be there( as per its their purpose) they have fiancés/ husbands on time (unless they are in the banking sector, lol) or at least they have men propose to them. Am sure most of those 'bad' girls fall into that category.

2. They are not ready for marriage: this is the worse part of it, they wait for 'so long', try to put themselves so much into the 'marriage' market and finally get a man, then they don't know how to manage 'themselves'. Most of these ladies do not know jack about marriage, try and probe them you will see it. They see marriage as an end instead of a phase. God in his wisdom will not lead some of them to their husbands because they are not simply ready for the kind of guy they will marry. Imagine a lady who is to marry a minister of God who has to travel and go through some level of stress, its not just any woman that God will drop at his laps. God himself is not a fool. A good number of these 'decent ladies don't know what they are obsessed about, for if they know, they will exercise patience.
3. They don't understand the word 'human': this is for some ladies- there is no perfect person; man or woman! Some ladies cannot see beyond the faults of guys (esp those who are working on themselves). I mean simple things that guys do that they may not know is offensive, like talking/speaking with a particular accent, not been able to dress as good as a celebrity/decent enough dressing (ladies know what am saying). They automatically shift into inyanga mode when such men shift towards them and then when he sees that he leaves (no time). Then later on they begin to look for Mr Available when they realise that Mr Perfect is not there, hence guys using and dumping them.

4. Many ladies are myopic: Very Myopic, cannot see beyond the shirt and trouser a guy wears. This has been explained previously by other posters.
5. Pressure: especially from non-understanding parents. A lot of parents have chased away potential suitors all on top 'grading system' not knowing that conditions are temporary.

My advice for such ladies is to find their purpose/ passion and then follow it. They should bury all marriage stuff for the time being. I believe in chasing the former they will find the latter.

bizmogul:


Yes I can concur to all what you have said. I wouldn't know deeply if they exhibit same or similar behavior because we are just friends and all. My friend complained to me about his seemingly decent babe recently and I could only open my mouth in surprise.

You see broda..Thats why some men prefer marrying a street girl to the core than most of these so.called born again/religious girls even though I don't subcribe to it..Those guys feel at home with those ladies..

naijainfogalery:
From experience Church girls and decent girls suffer more in this regard why?
1. They avoid the good guys because those guys are either shy, boring or broke
2. they want you to keep begging and toasting and running after them for 2 years, gone are those days girls,
3. they think they are too holy or saint and because they think you had a bad past they wont give you a chance at all
4. most of this girls wouldnt even grant you on a date request
5. Good girls/born again girls are very rude expecially when you are showing signs of feelings, they either dont pick you calls nor return your calls, they talk to you like you bothering them, they make communication frustrating
6. They always get it twisted thinking because they are good they will get a husband but unfortunately life is not like that
7. They should stop being rigid and be more welcoming

My little cent

I could remember i started liking this decent over religious girl, she replied my messages after 3 days, when i call she mostlt doesnt pick and when she does she starts talking like someone is bothering her. I was just trying to get to know her, even though she is a special jewel, sometimes a jewel might become too expensive that it will wilther off in the store for decades, it got so annoying that though i still like her now i just totally ignored and stopped bothering her that the thing is now paining her that she deleted me from BBM cos i didnt ping her , call, text or chat her for over 6 months, i was like why pretend when you freaking feel the same way

Now she is 28 but who cares, God wont come down to answer your prayer, after they have sent out all suitors with their own hands, they will now start crying and disturbing God that one mama is doing them.

I know a lot of good girls in that same shoe, One funny thing about life is when you get to that desperate age no matter how good you are, how saint you are men would run away from you.

So ladies be wise, You need to know how to hold your self in high esteem without sending away possible suitors, until a man marries you always have a way of keeping possible suitors around in form of friendship, Be wise one of the reason why most girls also have marriage issue is over depending on a guy that has been dating them a long while without puting a ring on it, find a way to allow other guys stick around. When that guy finally dumps them after 5 years, it becomes a disaster

You said it all bro

holamiday:
Please send me a pm. There's something i really want to tell you. Cheers!

sorry o, I don't know how this PM thing works. Don't even knw how to access it. Its well. Cheers!

lolaredvelvet:
Being "good" is not enough these days.. you gotta be sharp. Have a life apart from church activities with your fellow single ladies... and for the love of God, stop being boring!!

But as the bible says, the race isn't always to the swift. Its a matter of time, chance, wisdom and luck.

am not trying to discredit what your saying, but sometimes things aren't always black and white. I know a lot of "lively" and "sharp" girls who are still looking for husbands, going for girls night out every weekend from one lounge or bar to another. some get attention from men but not from devoted men.

i had a friend who was referred to as "boring" and reserved, she just got married a few weeks ago to a young and promising dude, funny thing was girls who always used to tell her to loosen up and be more social and acted like they knew all about attracting guys were there as bridesmaids and asoebi wearers. its the same way some people work very hard and still amount to nothing, Gods ways are not our ways.

In their early and mid 20s, they looked down on the decent guys.

Somehow, I don't pity unmarried ladies.
They should keep searching for that thing they are seeking in a man, surely they will find it, maybe in their 50s.