aflyingbird:
taking to pple in nl is like talking to a damn wall . i actually sent a chat history ( for one particular afternoon last week ) to a friend yesterday and she sent me hers ! these are just call history of the calls we both made that afternoon . chat history / call history is simply that , chat history. it states the day & time calls were made . chat history is on the opposite end of the spectrum from texts bc with the former there is no content. chat/call history does not equal texts. you're saying the contents of the chat confirmed she was cheating, what content ?? pple just like making things up ! op didn't say texts , he said chat history . he himself didn't mention anything about content bc he had none to work with , all he saw was that calls were made to this guy and vice versa , no content !

madam y r u arguing? Didn't u read where d OP said he kept d phone because dats only proof dat she cheated. How can he keep it as evidence if it has no implicating contents.

Madam are you really serious with this holier than thou crap you posted here......
It is much easier for you to say cos you are not involved, what more evidence does he need to hear from the wife, did you not read where he saw stark evidence on her phone and she was apologizing for the affair
Are you saying that the MIL who called him in the first place should not have the common sense to know who the aggrieved party is and try to pacify him by speaking in a language that he can understand. To make the matter worst, you are here defending the wife and also the MIL.
@OP, My two cent is if you have the heart to forgive your wife and move on with your life, that of your MIL should pose no problem to you, i understand how you feel about her actions, but then you have to move on with your life and stash this into the anal of history

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

*sighs*

Mother in laws ..puttting assunders in marriages since 1000AD.....God help us all

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

birds of same feathers

gidjah:
In fact from Kabba, Ebira?? Odijw Very risky o my dear! This one na one chance!!

Ebira ladies are beautiful and INTELLIGENT. but some of them get bad temper sha and can be so stubborn

Guy u ve a big hrt! Can I 4givan adulterous wife? Even if I could, can I eva possibly trust her again? I doubt if I can eva trust her again! The question now is, can I live wit a woman I can't trust? The answer is a very BIG NO!

dinachi:

The only frank genuine advice from a good woman here! As for supporters of evil like babyosisi and co whose stock in trade is evil and malicious advice, learn from a real woman here.
@Op the first mistake you made was allowing your wife back to the house. That LovePeddler of a wife should have been sent parking immediately. Then undertake a DNA test on your kids.Take custody of your kids and start looking for a new life. If you have done all this, then the mother in law would have learnt to respect you but since she feels that you are not man enough to take the tough decisions, she can now afford to even bear malice. Listen you are the one that is supposed to bear malice and show your anger. Don't let those witches dominate you. Since you have made the mistake of taking your wife back, pls totally ignore that insolent babyosisi kind of MIL and have your peace. I can assure you though that your adulterous wife will cheat again.

Balogun leyin awon obinrin

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

u're actually spewin rubbish..afta seein d whole chat...nd still want an xplanation.....

aflyingbird:
that's sweet. it's cool.

thanks, i'll c u in camera

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

Stop claiming as if u sharp, this is just a brief version of a story, he need not explain all that transpired b4 he forgive his wife.

@Op thank God for ur grace o, forgiving and adulterous wife, chai. pls becarefull with your life o, any woman that can cheat on you can kill.
Even Jesus in all his mercy said divorce in cases of unchestity.

a flying bird Abi a flying witch should be shot dead she's just a useless person

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

Girl, I haven't met u, but I ve no doubt U are an adulteress! I pity d unlucky guy who. Is goin to take u in!

I thought it's only women that have MIL issues

Bro @op if anybody blame u because u told ur FIL about his daughter infidelity,the person should check his/her head.because the same right that allows the MIL to know about it also applies to the FIL as well.
I must commend u,u try wella.
I don't pray to experience same in my marriage ooo because she ll definitely be a GONER.period.
As per the MIL just imagine for ur mind say she no dey exist again.even whenever u bump into her treat her like #akudaya.
Like mother like daughter.#Bull.sh.it.

To imagine and think a small boy dey sample ur wife punny, sir i know how u feel.

So a grown man with 2 kids couldnt tell if his wife was cheating?

MIL from the deepest pit of hell!

And for people talking shii about language... you dont speak in a language which someone doesnt understand when you're trying to settle a dispute.

What if the MIL was telling her daughter that "Why did you let him see the chat, you shouldnt have given him the phone..."

Its 101% wrong!

ALISMILE:
Girl, I haven't met u, but I ve no doubt U are an adulteress! I pity d unlucky guy who. Is goin to take u in!

Well said.. Dont mind them.

Someone was feeling reluctant to give her phone to her Husband... That alone tells everything is fishy!!!

redsconsult:
birds of same feathers

She's someone like the MIL...

AnneMomoh:


hmmmm, Idi Amin Dada

Yes xwedi

A Flying Bird is a Biatch!!!

for people saying op jumped into conclusion
what about this part of the op saying.....
I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife
of six years is having an affair with a much younger
guy she's older than for at least five years do you all think he is stupid?

Abeg take those kids to hospital and find out
Which of them is yours
If your lucky the two
If not one
If very not none


No offense

stonecoldcafe:


Strictly speaking she is right. Call history merely tells I have been communicating with a certain person. It may mean we are talking often but that does not mean I'm screwing the person.

Again if I apologize and say I can explain that remains a blank cheque. A lady can apologize and say I was in constant communication cos of xyz, sorry I should have told you. Still does not mean she is shagging anyone.

PS: I like to give people the benefit of doubt.

you've to read the Op's original post again. You appear to be missing something here. The Op said 'chat history' and not 'call history' Let me assume, you don't know what a chat is. We've sms chat, 2go chat, facebook chat et al. These are all chats{exchange of writings} that convey a message. On the other hand, 'call history' or 'log' comprises, all the lines you called and all that called you, including missed calls.

REMMEI:




Sorry, are you serious about this assertion?.. please, tell me your experience..safe a brother please..

bro sincerely having anything to do wit them is like a time bomb that will definitley explode, I distance myself from them like a plague, pls be properly guided a word is enof for the wise.

That is why 3rd party insurance is not good. Ask any agent. Your marraige was an accident waiting to happen.

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

A potential cheater spotted.

Please explain what? Is that not the usual cliche. You caught your husband exchanging s*x chats, nude pictures and saying how they enjoyed each other the last time they had s*x, with another lady and he tells you he can explain. Your Mumu no be now. Na until they record video give you?

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

A potential cheater spotted.

Please explain what? Is that not the usual cliche. You caught your husband exchanging s*x chats, nude pictures and saying how they enjoyed each other the last time they had s*x, with another lady and he tells you he can explain. Your Mumu no be now. Na until they record video give you?

Peoples native language in front of the Husband(a family) with such a sensitive matter at hand?

Madam please say something better.

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

sorry for jumping to a conclusion ma but ya a broody fool

de2oye:


Thanks for your response, I've decided to stay away until this particular relative of hers got sick and I felt it won't be nice to pretend that I don't know about it, I inquired the whereabout so as to go and visit him in the hospital. Besides, the MIL keep on telling my wife that I'm being rude to her and that would I have treated my own mother the same way.

I am not happy with you o, is your father or mother aware of this whole infidelity saga? They should if not, for possible future reference and prayers. Your wife has been cheating for 5 years? And you let her back over just a phone call from her father, there are some things or gravity of things you dont take or make the decisions on your own. Be careful sha cos in some places there a spiritual implications on the aftermath of all this kind nonsense o, 5 years banging a neighbor...you sef need to fear for your own life o.

todayguest:
you've to read the Op's original post again. You appear to be missing something here. The Op said 'chat history' and not 'call history' Let me assume, you don't know what a chat is. We've sms chat, 2go chat, facebook chat et al. These are all chats{exchange of writings} that convey a message. On the other hand, 'call history' or 'log' comprises, all the lines you called and all that called you, including missed calls.

hehehe bros you badt...sure my 6 year old girl knows the difference between call and chat...the agbaya no know...na wa o.

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

If your wife of 5yrs truly truly cheated on you I don't think you'll find it that easy to welcome her back to your home regardless of whether you respect her father or not...that's why I feel this story is one-sided. I don't think it's advisable for everyone to be talking based on what the op said coz usually there are three sides to every story, his truth, her truth,and THE REAL TRUTH.

aflyingbird:
op said chat history / "call " history. so , after he read it he should automatically assume she's cheating ? not that this isn't bad enough ,

she started begging me that she can explain"

she was pleading / begging that she can explain but he didn't let her say anything . i don't know what she wanted to say , op doesn't either , which is another problem itself , aside from him jumping to conclusions

What other explanation does he need? The wife was clearly up to something that's why she refused handing over the phone, some ladies can be something else really. Someone once said these h..oes ain't loyal and its true.