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Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. - Family - Nairaland

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Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 7:40pm On May 16, 2015
This is lengthy already so I will skip every other thing and go straight to the points.

1. Emotional Immaturity. Emotionally immature people are the hardest to deal with. They can be extremely challenging, because they lack the ability to see life clearly and accurately, and to deal with it. They lack the ability to handle anger, disappointment, guilt, resentment, fear, jealousy, disappointment, grief, insecurity, and a myriad of other feelings appropriately.

2. Sex Before Marriage. Research using brain scans now shows powerful chemicals are released during sex that should create a powerful, everlasting bond.

"During sex with a men, women's brain secretes oxytocin that causes them to bond emotionally to that man. This chemical is so overwhelming in a woman's brain that just a 20-second hug can cause a female to become bonded to a male.

Both sexes get addictive doses of the pleasure-chemical dopamine that works out well for couples out to create lifelong marriages and stable families but the bonding, which acts like adhesive tape is weakened when people tear away power by breaking off with a sexual partner and moving on from one to another to another.

This destroys the ability to bond with one's spouse permanently because the brain actually gets molded to not accept that deep emotional level that's so important for marriage.

3. Feminism. These movement have successfully convinced some ladies that our mothers, grandmothers and great-grands were like slaves in their marriage. It has also convinced them that males are animals and women-beaters so any time there is a little misunderstanding in a marriage, the negative instinct that these teaching installed in the ladies will alert them that the animal is about to attack and whatever defense mechanism they have developed will be applied in full force. This is why many little misunderstandings ends in a fight.

4. Wrong Foundation. Anything build on a wrong foundation will not last. Most marriages fail not because the people involved are not willing to make it work but because it was built on a wrong foundation. Example of these foundations is "My Pastor or Prophet Said". Sometimes people marry because of a pastor's vision, prophecy or their own dream instead of because of love.
Secondly women do meet their their pastors prophet or whoever they have as a spiritual father for special prayers, jazz or concoctions that will help them get a guy. Likewise guys, they meet these thieves also for jazz or concoction. Such marriage dies once the jazz wears off

5. Putting Our Wants first Before Our Needs. We lack seriously here, We do not take time to know what our partner really needs. Ofcourse every body wants to live in large house, ride nice car, go on vacations etc but first; humans needs to be loved, cared for, appreciated, respected, listened to, etc. When you are busy chasing after the wants, your partner is likely to fall for whoever satisfies his or her need.

6. Copying Others and Listening To Their Advice. A marriage is doomed to fail once we start listening to the advice of outsiders or copying them. When you listen to foolish advices on your relationship from a friend whose sole objective maybe to destroy your marriage or from a man hater or woman hater, you will cease to love your partner.
You will start tearing him/her down with you words. Respect in the marriage will jump the fence, seeking his/her opinion on an issue becomes unncesarry because his/her judgment cannot be trusted by you.

7. Not Setting Priorities Right, Not Researching Background and Wrong Mindset. People no longer make working with their spouse to get a good family their priority.
Secondly some don't research their family backgrounds to know about his/her family. They act based on love for the guy or girl. A family's background such as honesty, integrity, modesty and other good morals should be considered before tying the knot.
Finally there are some who see marriage as a rest zone. A never ending party where their partner will also do things that will please them. They are always looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.

I Know Of Other Things Like, Lies, Cheating, Beating, drunkeness, lack of trust, Marrying just to be married or seen as a married person etc but those things are expected when you are running fast in a wrong lane.

DROPs PENgrin.

126 Likes 26 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by buygala(m): 7:41pm On May 16, 2015
In addition sad

Failure of the couple to properly set their financial standards..... If the wifey is not satisfied with the husband's income, that's the foundation for disaster.... Why give a girl the impression that you are worth some millions, when indeed, You are so wretched that you budgeted the wedding on the basis of monetary handouts you were expecting to receive from people you had invited to it?

Unresolved relationships. ... Nothing puts stress on a marriage than the wifey missing or secretly communicating with her ex or the hubby doing same.... Instead of spending time to make the marriage work, they end up wishing, daydreaming, or even secretly fuccking their exes undecided

Secrets... She hides the fact that her womb has been damaged due to the abortions she had while she was a 'rock-and-roll' spinster..... Na when pikin no gree come and dem go hospital for tests, na him doctor go come tell husby say him wife don use her womb play baba Ijebu.... angry .... or the husby, throughout his fornicating years, has never gotten any girl pregnant, even by 'mistake'.... and instead of confirming his virility before tying the knot, he keeps silent, hoping for a miracle, and continues the deception until the wifey finds out about his impotence on her own angry ..... How will that marriage not enter 'one chance?

66 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by chibwike(m): 7:42pm On May 16, 2015
space for sale

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by chibwike(m): 7:48pm On May 16, 2015
Nice one tallesty..that number two..waht are you gon say about prostitutes...the other points are cool..am learning..btw do you have a source..or twaz just from your head.


Where is lalasticlala?
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by MizMyColi(f): 7:49pm On May 16, 2015
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Nobody: 7:52pm On May 16, 2015
When d man can no longer provide for d family as usual

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Nobody: 8:16pm On May 16, 2015
I agree with your write up entirely, except for one. Feminism advocates for equal rights of men and women. Its a movement to stop the oppression of women, domestic violence and marginalisation of women. Feminism does not preach that all men are beasts or evil..

Unfortunately a lot of women have done despicable things to their husbands and marriages under d guise of feminism. They have so misunderstood the original teaching of that movement. A woman will not cook food and keep at home before running off to work and then claim she is pursuing her dreams. Some women will insult and humiliate their husband in public in the name of being equal to him.

So the problem is misunderstood Feminism.

71 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 8:18pm On May 16, 2015
chibwike:
Nice one tallesty..that number two..waht are you gon say about prostitutes...the other points are cool..am learning..btw do you have a source..or twaz just from your head.


Where is lalasticlala?
Thanks bro, we all are learning.



Ts from my little head

3 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 8:25pm On May 16, 2015
buygala:
In addition sad

Failure of the couple to properly set their financial standards..... If the wifey is not satisfied with the husband's income, that's the foundation for disaster.... Why give a girl the impression that you are worth some millions, when indeed, You are so wretched that you budgeted the wedding on the basis of monetary handouts you were expecting to receive from people you had invited to it?

Unresolved relationships. ... Nothing puts stress on a marriage than the wifey missing or secretly communicating with her ex or the hubby doing same.... Instead of spending time to make the marriage work, they end up wishing, daydreaming, or even secretly fuccking their exes undecided

Secrets... She hides the fact that her womb has been damaged due to the abortions she had while she was a 'rock-and-roll' spinster..... Na when pikin no gree come and dem go hospital for tests, na him doctor go come tell husby say him wife don use her womb play baba Ijebu.... angry .... or the husby, throughout his fornicating years, has never gotten any girl pregnant, even by 'mistake'.... and instead of confirming his virility before tying the knot, he keeps silent, hoping for a miracle, and continues the deception until the wifey finds out about his impotence on her own angry ..... How will that marriage not enter 'one chance?
spot on.


Initially included dating in the write up and it kinda touched this ex issue but I had to drop it where I noticed how lengthy the post it.

2 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by buygala(m): 8:32pm On May 16, 2015
Tallesty1:
spot on.


Initially included dating in the write up and it kinda touched this ex issue but I had to drop it where I noticed how lengthy the post it.

smiley

A list of stuff that literally cripples a marriage is absolutely inexhaustive smiley

Even little things like picking one's nose, leaving the toilet seat up, eying the maid, spending more time in church than in the house, etc can actually 'boko haram' a marriage if not properly handled sad

30 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 8:41pm On May 16, 2015
buygala:


smiley

A list of stuff that literally cripples a marriage are absolutely inexhaustive smiley

Even little things like picking one's nose, leaving the toilet seat up, eying the maid, spending more time in church than in the house, etc can actually 'boko haram' a marriage if not properly handled sad
Yea........... We can only touch the major causes because what is a tradition here can be a taboo there.


A guy once broke up with a girl for farting in his house.angry

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 8:43pm On May 16, 2015
code6:
When d man can no longer provide for d family as usual
gringringringrin.




The lucky ones become house boys.

4 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by donbenedict(m): 8:48pm On May 16, 2015
Wen I get married, I will read this..



Tallesty1
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by lilmax(m): 8:51pm On May 16, 2015
Tallesty1 watch out for confused women (fake feminists) grin to oppose number 3, when clearly they live in a man's house grin especially the Christian feminist , i nor wan call her name grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by SAMBARRY: 8:52pm On May 16, 2015
Ok
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by valmunich(m): 8:52pm On May 16, 2015
I'll come back to read when I get married...

BTW, Tallesty1 how come you know this much....?
Are you married

2 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by dre11(m): 9:18pm On May 16, 2015
Let me bookmark itcheesy
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 9:23pm On May 16, 2015
valmunich:
I'll come back to read when I get married...


BTW, Tallesty1 how come you know this much....?

Are you married
Lols....


Sha, I have six spiritual wives.

Three of them are on nairaland.

3 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 9:25pm On May 16, 2015
lilmax:
Tallesty1 watch out for confused women (fake feminists) grin to oppose number 3, when clearly they live in a man's house grin especially the Christian feminist , i nor wan call her name grin
I am always ready for them.
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 9:26pm On May 16, 2015
donbenedict:
Wen I get married, I will read this..



Tallesty1
I can't wait
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 10:04pm On May 16, 2015
Ceeesaw:
I agree with your write up entirely, except for one. Feminism advocates for equal rights of men and women. Its a movement to stop the oppression of women, domestic violence and marginalisation of women. Feminism does not preach that all men are beasts or evil..

Unfortunately a lot of women have done despicable things to their husbands and marriages under d guise of feminism. They have so misunderstood the original teaching of that movement. A woman will not cook food and keep at home before running off to work and then claim she is pursuing her dreams. Some women will insult and humiliate their husband in public in the name of being equal to him.

So the problem is misunderstood Feminism.
Feminism has never been for equality bro.

It is about improving the lives and statuses of women by degrading the lives and statuses of men. The feminist concept of “equality” only serves to provide a framework for feminism, and to brainwash other unfortunate people, especially men, to support it.

Every woman I have met who called herself a feminist was also a sexist. All of them.

Ever tried to mention men's inequalities to a feminist? She will call you a sexist misogynist pig for. Feminism just supports and fights for superiority of women to men nothing else.

Have you ever wondered why, in divorce cases, the mother gets custody and the father pays child support? Ever wondered why, when a girl sees a guy naked, he is arrested for indecent exposure, but when a guy sees a girl naked, he is arrested for being a peeping tom Equality My Foot.

How can feminism claim equality when thesame feminism under the guise of promoting equality, has succeeded in bringing bias back into the legal system by arguing that women are, in fact, not equal to men and should not be treated as such under the law.

Double standard everywhere.

Sha, whether they in or out for equality doesn't really matter to me but the fact that some people under the cover of feminism destroy home is a good reason to add it in my write up.


Thanks for contributingwink

34 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by valmunich(m): 10:10pm On May 16, 2015
Tallesty1:
Lols....


Sha, I have six spiritual wives.

Three of them are on nairaland.
Hmmmmh... No wonder... I think I know them wink


I know a place shaa,,, Holla me whenever you get down to Asaba,, that's if you wanna be cured cheesy

1 Like

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 10:17pm On May 16, 2015
valmunich:

Hmmmmh... No wonder... I think I know them wink


I know a place shaa,,, Holla me whenever you get down to Asaba,, that's if you wanna be cured cheesy
gringringringrin.


You don dey fall my hand for that Asaba thingy sef.angry

How long will it take you to check around


It must not pass this 2015 oooooo

2 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by valmunich(m): 10:28pm On May 16, 2015
Tallesty1:
gringringringrin.

You don dey fall my hand for that Asaba thingy sef.angry
How long will it take you to check around

It must not pass this 2015 oooooo
Bro no be my fault ohh... I barely travel down home...
I promise to do it during the long vac...
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Nobody: 7:13am On May 17, 2015
Tallesty1:
Feminism has never been

Every woman I have met who called herself a feminist was also a sexist. All of them.

Ever tried to mention men's inequalities to a feminist? She will call you a sexist misogynist pig for. Feminism just supports and fights for superiority of women to men nothing else.

Have you ever wondered why, in divorce cases, the mother gets custody and the father pays child support? Ever wondered why, when a girl sees a guy naked, he is arrested for indecent exposure, but when a guy sees a girl naked, he is arrested for being a peeping tom Equality My Foot.

How can feminism claim equality when thesame feminism under the guise of promoting equality, has succeeded in bringing bias back into the legal system by arguing that women are, in fact, not equal to men and should not be treated as such under the law.

Double standard everywhere.

Sha, whether they in or out for equality doesn't really matter to me but the fact that some people under the cover of feminism destroy home is a good reason to add it in my write up.


Thanks for contributingwink
I know all u have said. That's why am trying to point out the original aim of that movement. Over the years a lot people have misunderstood it and adulterated it to suit their wickedness. They are no more seeking for equality they are seeking for superiority.

Thats why someone will now say there are different types of feminism. I believe in feminism if its helping out a woman that is being battered or raped. Or helping to educate parents to send their female child to school.

On the issue of equality. Equal rights,yes, men and women should have that.. but the two sexes are different in their abilities and strenghts. If only both men and women will accept their different roles on earth and stop trying to drag who is superior to the other..

And also the double standards thing annoys me the most about modern day feminism. If a man slaps a women everybody will condemn him some other men will even rush in her defence. But when a woman slaps a man he is expected to take it like a man. That just shows that we have accepted that women are weaker and need protection. The same woman tomorrow will be chanting equality.

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Bibol(f): 8:05am On May 17, 2015
Ceeesaw:

I know all u have said. That's why am trying to point out the original aim of that movement. Over the years a lot people have misunderstood it and adulterated it to suit their wickedness. They are no more seeking for equality they are seeking for superiority.

Thats why someone will now say there are different types of feminism. I believe in feminism if its helping out a woman that is being battered or raped. Or helping to educate parents to send their female child to school.

On the issue of equality. Equal rights,yes, men and women should have that.. but the two sexes are different in their abilities and strenghts. If only both men and women will accept their different roles on earth and stop trying to drag who is superior to the other..

And also the double standards thing annoys me the most about modern day feminism. If a man slaps a woman everybody will condemn him some other men will even rush in her defence. But when a woman slaps a man he is expected to take it like a man. That just shows that we have accepted that women are weaker and need protection. The same woman tomorrow will be chanting equality. For a woman to raise hand and slap a man that means you are equal to him, so dont cry if he slaps you back.

I can go on and on about misconstrued feminism. The worst part of it this days is dat children bear the consequences. They are left in the hands of wicked house help because the mother has gone to pursue her useless dream. Somebody once asked 'who made the rule that women are more responsible for the kids?' My answer was simple.. The fact that the baby grew in your belly and that the breastmilk is on your chest is enough reason.

Yea and am a happily married woman grin and will not allow idle women to advice me out of my husbands house. smiley your post is enlightening. But dont hate feminism cheesy treat ur male and female children equally. Defend a girl if u see her being battered.

My sister, I had to quote your long post just to type this;

YOU GET BRAIN!

22 Likes

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 8:38am On May 17, 2015
Ceeesaw:

I know all u have said. That's why am trying to point out the original aim of that movement. Over the years a lot people have misunderstood it and adulterated it to suit their wickedness. They are no more seeking for equality they are seeking for superiority.

Thats why someone will now say there are different types of feminism. I believe in feminism if its helping out a woman that is being battered or raped. Or helping to educate parents to send their female child to school.

On the issue of equality. Equal rights,yes, men and women should have that.. but the two sexes are different in their abilities and strenghts. If only both men and women will accept their different roles on earth and stop trying to drag who is superior to the other..

And also the double standards thing annoys me the most about modern day feminism. If a man slaps a women everybody will condemn him some other men will even rush in her defence. But when a woman slaps a man he is expected to take it like a man. That just shows that we have accepted that women are weaker and need protection. The same woman tomorrow will be chanting equality. For a woman to raise hand and slap a man that means you are equal to him, so dont cry if he slaps you back.

I can go on and on about misconstrued feminism. The worst part of it this days is dat children bear the consequences. They are left in the hands of wicked house help because the mother has gone to pursue her useless dream. Somebody once asked 'who made the rule that women are more responsible for the kids?' My answer was simple.. The fact that the baby grew in your belly and that the breastmilk is on your chest is enough reason.

Yea and am a happily married woman grin and will not allow idle women to advice me out of my husbands house. smiley your post is enlightening. But dont hate feminism cheesy treat ur male and female children equally. Defend a girl if u see her being battered.
You are a woman?shockedshockedshockedshocked


Sorry for addressing as you as a male.


I think I understand you better now. I don't hate feminism but I dislike what it has become.

I support equality in the right aspect, ie the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

But looking at the present situation of things in Nigeria for example I think women are already given the total equality so they can do whatever they want that men can do.

In politics, Nigeria women can be politicians, governors, senates presidents, and they can vote.

Socially. They have a right to pursue education , career and pick whatever they want as their career and have a good healthy life.

Economically. Our women can earn money, women can save in banks women can handle money and trade with whoever they want without any gender restriction so what on earth these misinformed, over-fed baby elephants ranting feminism at every corner out for?

Most times when you see where a woman is being oppressed, it caused mostly by another woman, directly or indirectly.

So why channel their hatred to men?

I am not trying to say that men are angels but we are not as heartless as these people portray us.


Lols. If eventually I see someone that's being battered I will speak for and stand by the person because they are human and not because she is a girl.

gringringringrin

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 8:41am On May 17, 2015
Bibol:


My sister, I had to quote your long post just to type this;

YOU GET BRAIN!
And She's Married.




crycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycry
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Nobody: 8:54am On May 17, 2015
Tallesty1:
And She's Married.
crycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycry
The lady you quoted is also married.
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Tallesty1(m): 9:22am On May 17, 2015
VictoriaBee:

The lady you quoted is also married.
You Nko?
Re: Things That Bring About Failure In Today's Marriage. by Nobody: 9:33am On May 17, 2015
Tallesty1:
You Nko?
Engaged tongue

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