1). Never raise your hands against your wife…only weak men hit women. Only a dumb man hits his wife in front of her children. FYI, God hates it when you do it. “For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence” –Malachi 2:16


2). Love your wife into submission, don’t force her into submission. Forcing her into submission is tantamount to slavery. Submission is the natural response to love…if you’ve loved her but she doesn’t submit, love her some more


3). For a Christian husband, submission is a two way lane…you should love your wife enough to submit to her too. “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” – Ephesians 5:21


4). Your wife is not your mother…don’t compare them. The love of a mother to a child (storge) is different from the love between a husband and a wife (Eros). Your wife is not a property either, she is not like your car or your house…your wife is part of you; like your eyes or an internal organ. Treat her as such.


5). Do your BEST and some more to PROVIDE for your family. One of the qualities of a real man is his ability to provide for his family. “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” – 1 Timothy 5:8


6). Lead by example, be a ROLE MODEL…show your male children how to be a good husband, show your female children what to look for in a good husband.


7). Don’t have a vengeful spirit when dealing with your wife. “I will show her” is an immature statement. Permit me to say GROW UP!


. Protect your wife from ALL harms…be ready to give yourself for her if need be “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” – Ephesians 5:25 .


9). Don’t rub your position as the ‘head of the family’ in anybody’s face. Don’t be quick to flash that card. The truth is, anytime you need to remind the people you lead that you’re the head…you probably ain’t. Leadership is not enforcing your will; it is knowing and choosing what’s best for the organization.


10). HELP to lighten your wife’s burden. Don’t be the “that’s my wife’s job” kind of guy. Acts of service show that you truly love your wife and you don’t want her overwhelmed. Cook when you can (if you can), help with the dishes once in a while, help get the kids ready, who said a man can’t help in the kitchen or with laundry?


11). Never put your wife down with your words. If you call her dumb, it shows you are dumber for marrying a dumb person. “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt…” – Colossians 4:6


12). Never make a scene in public. Respect your wife enough to let it wait. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect…” – 1 Peter 3:7


13). Never yell at your wife, especially in front of the children. Your children will love and appreciate you for it. When there is an argument, drop the shaming, blaming and always wanting to be right. Learn effective communication skills, they always get the job done without hurting anybody.


14). Set the tone for your home. Be what you want the family to be. You want excellent kids? Pursue excellence. You want respectful kids? Show respect. You want a peaceful home? Live peaceably with your family. Children watch and do what you do, not what you tell them to do.


15). Never let ANYONE (including your family members) disrespect your wife. You may not know it, anyone that disrespects your wife is indirectly disrespecting you.


16). Don’t just live for today, secure your family’s future.


17). Your wife’s opinion MATTERS. I will say it again, your wife’s OPINION matters. She is the ultimate recipient of the repercussions of your decisions (good or bad) and you think she should not have a say?


18). Encourage your wife to be the best she can. It is not a competition…there are women that have brought relevance to their husband by excelling in their fields. Be proud of her when she shines, don’t be jealous…know that she made ‘it’ because of your support. It shows you are a great leader when your wife excels and shines.


19). Give your wife your undivided attention whenever she desires/requires it…spend quality time with her and let her pour out her heart to you. A woman only opens up to someone she considers special and deserving of that ‘privilege’.


20). Show affection to your wife and children. Let them know you are happy to have them in your life. Hug them, smile, play with them, spend time with them, say nice things to them. Communication and time together are keys to a strong marriage. African fathers are wired, by culture, not to show affection or emotions…BIG ERROR. Don’t let your children see you as “that mean guy”.


21). Don't be cruel. Don’t abuse your wife emotionally. There are men that will never hit their wives physically but the emotional torment and punishment they dole out is enough to kill the women. ‘Shutting down’ because there is an issue, refusing to eat, refusing to participate in anything in the house, intentionally doing the things you know she hates, threatening her with divorce, treating her like she’s nothing, leaving the house unannounced and coming back late, rubbing her face in your immorality and ‘sexcapades’ (some men do it). “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” – Colossians 3:19


22). Honor your marriage enough, not to defile it. Engaging in extra marital affairs is simply dishonoring your marriage and the vow you made before God and men. When you do this, you are inviting God’s judgment. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” – Proverbs 31:15


23). Be a GENTLE disciplinarian. Don’t just go all out in your wrath when somebody does something wrong. Self-control is the most important virtue for someone in a position of power or leadership. Don’t scar your children because you are trying to correct them. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” – Colossians 3:21


24). Keep your wife in the loop. Create a clear vision of your shared future together. Let her know everything that is going on with you and with the family. Let her know when you are ‘light’, let her know when you are ‘heavy’. Let her know what you have and what you own…let her know how everything feeds and fits into one another. If you have a business, let her know how you run it. Let her know what you owe and what you are owed. Don’t be that guy that died and his wife had no idea how anything worked or where anything was…he was too secretive for his own good.


25). It’s good to be hardworking but it’s better when, as a man, you know how to prioritize and live a balanced life. Don’t be engrossed in your work to the detriment of your marriage or home. Don’t be all about your family that you can’t even keep a job. Know what needs to be done, when it needs to be done and for how long it needs to be done. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” - Ecclesiastes 3:1. Don’t be on a cruise when you NEED to be at a board meeting and don’t be at a board meeting when you should be at your child’s recital. Live a balanced life.


26). There are times that things won’t be going great financially, don’t be too proud to accept help from your wife…and don’t be too lazy to let it stay that way.


27). Be fair to your wife. Learn to appreciate her…let go of unnecessary and subjective criticism. You can only choose between controlling and having a connection with your wife; you cannot have both.


28). Learn how to agree to disagree. The fact that your wife doesn’t see it the way you do is not a declaration of war…neither does it mean she is usurping your ‘position’. “No two people agree on everything, and that's okay, but it's important to be okay with each other's differences”. - Lee Bowers


29 Check in regularly to be sure the marriage is on the right track. Don’t assume all is well. Only your wife can tell you if things are going good. Take time to talk about your relationship (even if it’s just for 15 minutes)…not the kids, not work, not general conversations. Let it be just about the two of you.


30). Constantly remind her of your love for her…say it from time to time, it won’t kill you…tell her “I love you”. If you have an issue with that, send her a text during the day, let her feel loved. Above all, SHOW her you truly love her…talk is cheap.


You may be a prayer warrior but how you treat your wife is directly proportional to the efficacy of your prayers. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers

Bros if only we do this 30 things you list so what about the women?

30 GOLDEN NUGGETS FOR ALL MARRIED WOMEN


1). Never raise your voice, for any reason, at your husband. It’s a sign of disrespect. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” -Proverbs 15v1


2). Do not expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends (unless it is abuse). Cover him; you are covering your home.


3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband; you never know how your husband will interpret them. “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up” - Proverbs 12: 25


4). Never compare your husband with other men; you have no idea what their life is all about.


5). Never ill-treat your husband's friends because you don't like them…use discretion, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband. “As a ring of gold in a swine's snout so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion” - Proverbs 11:22


6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. BE to him a wife. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” -Gen 2:24


7). Never delegate your “wife-ly” duties. People may help in other areas but your husband is your PERSONAL responsibility


. Never scorn your husband if/when he comes back home empty-handed. Rather encourage him.


9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.


10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex


11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex-mate in the bedroom. “…My beloved is dazzling and ruddy, Outstanding among ten thousand” - Song of Solomon 5:9-10


12). Never bring disrepute to your husband in public. “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land” - Proverbs 31:23


13). Never yell at or challenge your husband in front of the children


14). Strife for Excellence as a wife. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones” - Proverbs 12:4


15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband. Where I’m from, it’s called ‘overfamiliarity’.


16). Never disregard your looks…being married is not a license for sloppiness.


17). Never discount your husband’s opinion in an “in your face” or “imma do what I want” way. Don’t put him below anyone (parents, siblings, friends, family) in your “opinion-seeking hierarchy”. Let him know that his opinion matters even if you have to go another route.


18). Having more money doesn’t switch the balance. Earning more than him does not automatically make you the husband.


19). Never starve your husband of attention…be his listening ears, never be too busy to listen to him


20). Anytime you have a better idea, don’t make him look stupid. Everyone has their area of expertise


21). Don't be too judgmental, instead let your words edify your husband. “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” – Ephesians 4:29


22). Say NO to laziness, the words wife and mother hardly go well with the word lazy. “She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.” – Proverbs 31:15


23). Cook what your husband likes (in as much as it doesn’t affect his health negatively).


24). Take life one day at a time; don’t put unnecessary pressure on your husband. Enjoy every moment/resource as it comes.


25). Be hospitable; not just to your husband but to everyone entering your home. “…and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord's people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deed” – 1 Timothy 5:10


26). Don't associate with women who have diverging views of marriage.


27). Value your marriage, the value you place on it is the value others will give it. “Marriage should be honored by all…” - Hebrews 13:4


28). Children are a blessing from the Lord, love your children and train them in the way they should go. “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it” - Proverbs 22:6


29). Don’t ever outgrow your responsibilities in the home. Never abandon your care for your family for any reason. “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” -Proverbs 31:27


30). A prayerful wife is a better-equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family. “Pray without ceasing” - 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Where the weaklings at and the pseudo Floyd may weather

Aptly said. It's going to be hard following these nuggets but it's worth it on the long run..........

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