marque:
.

Your mom is just being petty and silly. That is why your dad is ignoring her. I am sure he is aware of her divide and rule tactics.

Your dad is handling it maturely by ignoring her. He sees her behavior as childish and puerile.

Unfortunately, your mum's behavior is rubbing off on your sister. I am she does not take it into her husbands home. Perhaps she may be fortunate to have a husband like your dad.

Your mom enjoys a sulk.

Some people have said most Nigerian mums are like that with one saying up to 80% of mums are like that. Whether or not that is true is topic for another day. However for those that believe it to be true, is that not worrying? Does is not show that these mums are unhappy in their marriage? Does this not show that there is something fundamentally wrong with our marriage system?

@ op

There are some underlying problems that only your mum and Dad can solve. Your mum is talking to you as you are part of the family. Most people like to keep things within the family while showing the world that they are happy.

Op do what you think is right. Tell your parents what you feel about their actions and let them sort the rest out themselves.

ahnie:
My mum does same too,but i dont pay heed to her words,tho she has succeeded instigatin the rest against my Dad.she knows i wont burge,and she has rested her efforts.

Then ur mum is a bad woman. Why shd a sensible woman do that? To achieve what? to make the children hate their father or what. Any child that falls for that is as stupid as the mother.
If i'm a man i'll send her back to her parents and marry another wife, MAKA CHUKWU. HERE IN PLANET Venus WHERE I LUCIFER SON OF THE MORNING RESIDES, such nonsense cannot happen. Gbam!

classicB:
Some mothers are just like that. It's like they are frustrated or angry about somethings and use that as a medium to belittle dad's in front of their kids. This is more reason why kids love their mothers more especially if they dnt reason in line with their daddy.
What I advice you do is turn deaf hears to her and make her understand that she can't turn you against your daddy, by the time she sees you are not interested in her talk she will cease talking to you about your dad.

He shd tell his father to marry another wife. The 2nd wife will keep his mother busy and she will be do everything nice to seek the man's attention.

The worst form of child abuse is to teach a child how to hate.

raumdeuter:
Manipulation and blackmail has always been the weapon of some women

Most women

There is no 1 way of solving this kind of issue, i think u should

1. Pray

2. Call ur dad and ask him what went wrong between both of them.

3. Talk to ur mom as in REAL TALK, try to get what her issue really is....try to dig the truth out of her...cuz u neva can tell ur dad might have skeletons in his shelf.

4. If something FOUL actually happened try to talk her into forgiveness (if she is a Christian or a Muslim use d Bible or Quran to get to her....if u can).

5. Also, tell, beg or advice ur dad to make peace with her.

Lastly, whenever she's in a happy mood, always paint her a picture of what u'd like ur family to look like in the future

My dear, don't let the issue bother you any longer.

To be sincere with you, the attitude runs in the vein of almost every women. There is hardly a grown up that has not witnessed it in one way or the other. Now you can separate good from bad, that is why it has become an issue of concern to you.

Advice: do not let in because it's the right way to go; weet must be separated from chaff. Listen to her as she talks to you, but don't act upon it.

It's well.

jayne8585yahoo:
OP I feel your predicament, I have to be frank with you

your mummy and daddy did not start today, your dad must have mistreatmented her while you guys were still young and so she wants to take her own pound of flesh.

women are resilience in nature, may be for her to stay married she was taking your fathers flaws then, now she thinks that it's her own time to shine.

As I speak to you now, some women are in that situation, they are waiting for their children to grow so as to start acting

OR

she never loved your dad as someone has said earlier

MIND YOU ALL THIS ARE GUESS WORK.


SOLUTIONS

Take your time, ask her if she wants to destroy her family,

Ask her to forgive your dad

Detail to how you feel about the issue.

I WISH GOOD LUCK,

DON'T JOIN HAND WITH YOUR DAD, SEEK PEACE.

AS YOU DO THAT I PRAY GOD TO BLESS YOU.

AMEN

I completely disagree with you.

DrGroove:
Whatever the case.. good or bad.. nothing will make me take sides with my father against my mother.

No matter the situation, no matter the condition, I don't want to know who was right or wrong


All I know is only my mother is important to me. I will always support her in totality, irrespective of anything.. I could talk calmly in private n try correcting her if she was at fault but never in this world, not in the next world will I take sides with my father..


Anyway,op is a guy.Am glad his sister is in mother's favour....

All i see is a girl from a polygamous family, otherwise i guess your so called father might not be your real father, no pun intended.

ahnie:
My mum does same too,but i dont pay heed to her words,tho she has succeeded instigatin the rest against my Dad.she knows i wont burge,and she has rested her efforts.

My mum does the same too, at least OP u got to know on time, me, i didn't. I only got to know my daddy was the good Guy shortly before he died. And all those excuses of why most mum's do this is jus so flimsy. Mums are always playing the victims, use emotional deceit a lot, even if they are the wolves in the home. OP Pls don't allow her turn u against ur dad.

marque:
I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father.

She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes.

This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light.

Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me.

The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought.

My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house.

My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us.

I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to"

She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly.

My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it.

Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers?

Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive?

Matured advise please.

@OP, i thank God for your life and i pray for his wisdom in all your doing. Remember this as you continue to grow, women only seek for 2 things, Money and Power, if she can't earn it, she grab it. it's a commomn thing and always happen in all homes, OUR MOTHERS have always turn us against our fathers, they seek power to control the home, if the man is tough, she turn the children against thier father.

You're a man and remain so, that is why you think with your brain, no sentiment. Disagrement between your parent is non of your concern neither of your sibling, let her solve her marital issues with the man she decide to marry. You wonder why the issues have to do with money?? and am sure she might be controlling too.

FluffySucre:


My mum does the same too, at least OP u got to know on time, me, i didn't. I only got to know my daddy was the good Guy shortly before he died. And all those excuses of why most mum's do this is jus so flimsy. Mums are always playing the victims, use emotional deceit a lot, even if they are the wolves in the home. OP Pls don't allow her turn u against ur dad.

God bless you, imagine how far you would have know your dad before he died, the father daughter relationship, i don't know why our mothers does this sinful act of turning the chhildren against their father.

babygirlfl:
Some people have said most Nigerian mums are like that with one saying up to 80% of mums are like that. Whether or not that is true is topic for another day. However for those that believe it to be true, is that not worrying? Does is not show that these mums are unhappy in their marriage? Does this not show that there is something fundamentally wrong with our marriage system?

@ op

There are some underlying problems that only your mum and Dad can solve. Your mum is talking to you as you are part of the family. Most people like to keep things within the family while showing the world that they are happy.

it is not Nigeria marriage that is d problem. All married people all over d world have issues in thier marriage. issue free marriage does not exist anywhere in d whole world.

it is d natural self centred nature of women. Generally women want everything to be about them. they want all d attention. Even if d husband is an angel, d same problem will still arise.

sometimes women cant control this part of them. it is in thier nature. women feels that they have done more than thier husband for d child well being. No matter how good and angelic d husband is, she still feel she owns d child more. So she feels she deserve more love from d children by default. it is dis innate feeling and jelousy that drive them to manipulate thier children to achieve it.

sunnydayasaba:
Sorry u find urself in such situation, i will advice u invite ur mum out to maybe a nice restaurant for a drink and chat if u can afford it just to make her look special and try to find out d circumstances surrounding most of such decisions, it could be a past feeling of hurt or she never loved your father even though there married, such things happens. Try to make her talk and after let her know the consequences of her actions to the family, her decision doesn't only affect ur dad both the whole family, imagine ur sisters getting married and treating their husband in same manner, they might be send packing if such man cant tolerate like ur dad. Even your dads health is at risk here, he's not talking doesn't mean he's happy or less bothered. So man up and take charge to fix things now that you still can.

Above all, Ask God for wisdom so u can use the right words when addressing dis issues. Gud luck

guy since wey I don dey for nl na only u b d beta head wey I don c. u said it all bro

atbu1983:


it is not Nigeria marriage that is d problem. it is d natural self centred nature of women. Generally women want everything to be about them. they want all d attention. Even if d husband is an angel, d same problem will still arise.

Gbam!! All they want is Money and Power, if they can't get, they turn everything against the man, the children are easy tools you know.

14DUI:


God bless you, imagine how far you would have know your dad before he died, the father daughter relationship, i don't know why our mothers does this sinful act of turning the chhildren against their father.

whenever I think abt him, I cry. he was a very good man. For the record, being a daddy's boi or gurl is sweet bt Mummy's boi or gurl is a disaster! cos daddy won't dictate ur lives still u get married but mummy will dictate all your life, she will tell u who to marry whether it benefits u or not, she will even come live with u, cos more problems.

DrGroove:

Guy,you better stop embarrassing your mother (even if we don't know her )...You should be thinking of how to be settled,make money n spoil ur mother with goodies.. Imagine ur mum is begging ur dad for money but he is forming he doesn't have cos he got other stuff to do.. stuff like what? it won't pass beers n girlfriends.....


Use ur head.. Mother is all..Good or bad,right or wrong. ur father can never be like ur mother to u.always support ur mother!

U are a really a b
One way street dumb ass

Your Mom is still a child at heart no offence meant

DrGroove:

Guy,you better stop embarrassing your mother (even if we don't know her )...You should be thinking of how to be settled,make money n spoil ur mother with goodies.. Imagine ur mum is begging ur dad for money but he is forming he doesn't have cos he got other stuff to do.. stuff like what? it won't pass beers n girlfriends.....


Use ur head.. Mother is all..Good or bad,right or wrong. ur father can never be like ur mother to u.always support ur mother!

I'm sorry to disappoint you but I have equal love for both my mum and dad.

I can't take your advice. Thanks.

Thank you all for your concern and heartfelt advice. I've tried to apply some of the suggestions and things are gradually taken a good turn.

For those who felt it wise to insult me,thank you also.

My father z a good man.he was there for me during my formative years,he practically played the role of my mother.he bot me my first sanitary pad and taught me how to use it.and risked his life for us the kids.i can nva TURNED against my Dad.

dinachi:

Your advice stinks exactly as you do!

When you and your 22animals are released from yaba left then you can be given attention to like a normal human being