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My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? - Family - Nairaland

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My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kyd4lyf(f): 9:17am On Sep 14, 2006
hi all!
This is issue is very difficult for me to handle so i need your help and advice.
About a month ago I found out that my dad had an affair with another woman.My dad happens to be a very humble and hardworking man from outside but now i know that I should not judge a book by its cover.
My mum realy loves him but does not know about this case.If my mum finds out,she will seek divorce and i dont want to be a child from a broken home and the disgrace will be too much if any of our family members get to know about this.I know my mum is very emotional and she can breakdown if she knows what is happenig around her.
I also dont want my dad to keep on cheating on my mum.I have told my dad that i know what is happening but he keeps on denying it,i also checked his mail box and saw many of his messages he sent to that woman and he told me not to tell my mum anything about it not even a word.Pls i am still very young and i dont want my mum to die.the woman he is dating is married with two kids.
Should I threating the woman or tell my mum or keep it to myself.
pls help me.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by mamaput(f): 9:43am On Sep 14, 2006
Stop spying on your father he is not your husband.
And start doing as if you do not know.
If your mum finds out you know about it she may be very sad about that.

They say telling lies is no good but sometimes its very necessary.
Like you say you are young so poke your nose in your own biz.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by Bhola(f): 12:23am On Sep 15, 2006
Your story is really sad. It would have been good, if you did not know, but now you know.

"To him/her that knows what is good and does not do it, to him/her it is counted as a sin."

Now, what to do? I really wish we can get a counsellor or therapist here. I wonder how old you are.

What to do? Telling your mum is not an option. Not telling your mum is not an option either. You have told your dad to stop seeing the woman. I guess that is about the best you can do. And to think the woman is married likewise, and with kids. Mehn, what has this life turn into?

Just take it easy. I know it will be difficult to not read your dad's email. You can suggest that he changes his password, that way you will not be tempted to read his mail. There might be things going on, that you don't know about. I suggest that you talk to your dad and ask him what kind of lesson he is teaching you by what he is doing. Poke his conscience. Maybe he will come to his senses.

I really do feel bad, but I can not understand how you feel. Hopefully, this will be resolved amicably soon.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by bettyboop(f): 12:54am On Sep 15, 2006
Nasty situation. I dont envy you. If I was in your shoes my best bet would be trying to send subtle hints to the other woman so she realises you are in the know. Since you say she is married and ll that i guess she has alot to lose if this all comes out. Just try to make sure you dont go threatening or anything be cool about making her realise you knwo adn ther might be trouble if word gets out. Please in the process never let her know that your mom might contemplate leaving your dada if she gets to know! The woman might jus be a die hard that wants to hook your father by force especially as he be rich man grin
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by Bubus(m): 3:48pm On Sep 15, 2006
When they said "ignorance is bliss", they meant it for this particular situation that you find yourself. , and you had to go snooping. Now see what quandary you have put yourself in with all the information you have gathered?

Now there is no way all this will end without your feeling a degree of guilt.

I don't pity you. Bear your own freaking cross. Go tell ya mama what ya papa has been up to. Become the evil child.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by EmemJU(f): 4:57pm On Sep 15, 2006
Don't tell your mum if you really love her.
Continue talking to your dad. Do things together as a happy family, that way he has less free time and is reminded of what
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by Christino(m): 11:58pm On Sep 15, 2006
Tell your dad you'd like to leave home, tell him you need a car, tell him things he wouldn't like to hear.

that would shake him back to life.

Whatever will be will be, the problem with we africans is we try to endure until there is no flesh to cover the bone.

This same man will come home, to transfer HIV to his innocent wife, or impregnate another woman and have kids outside the marriage which implies "no more peace and sanity" in the house.

Sometimes it's good to keep quiet, but such men, maybe are the type who just can't stop. THe next time you check, it could be another email address, or your neighbours wife.

Let him feel bad, and let him know you hate him for that, but please don't tell your mum.

2 Likes

Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 4:39am On Sep 16, 2006
gurl i can feel u on this cos i been thro it before and even when my mum got to know about it she couldn't do nothing about it cos we was in Nigeria then well i ain't about to go deep in my story but gurl don't tell ur mum i told my mum about it and till today my dad hates me tho he tries to act like he likes me but i can see it that he don't and it was all because of that gurl all i got to say is let ur mum find out on her own and when she ax u say u never knew cos it might turn out to be , u know what it is just sad and thats d reason y i hate men and can never trust them gurl no matter how a man tells me he loves me i can never trust him well like i said i ain't about to go deep in my story but if u want to know wat happend gurl u can im me wen i'm on my messenger or somthing but i already told u d solution don't tell ur mum cos later on its gon be ur fault
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by iice(f): 6:11am On Sep 16, 2006
Bhola said it all, you're stuck in the middle but i guess what we all saying is that do not tell your mother. And talk more to your dad, poke his conscience hopefully he will see the that what he is doing is affecting you badly.

@kiki, now i get why u distrust men, stay cool girl
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 6:19am On Sep 16, 2006
iice:

@kiki, now i get why u distrust men, stay cool girl

gurl especially Nigerian Men they disgust me i don't know y i hate em so much but when i see them i see them as d same cheating. lieing, good for nothing human. I'm still waiting to be proven wrong about them but i've not seen who. Gurl u know that even when my mum told my Dad she found out this this and that she even got her ass whooped 4 dat do u know how that feels to see ur mum everyday crying over somthing like that u know wat thinking about it is making me get mad so u know wat imma just stop b4 i loose it
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by iice(f): 6:22am On Sep 16, 2006
Yeah i know what you mean, i hope everything's fine with your family now, well i mean as fine as it can be. Just relax and breathe cheesy
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 6:28am On Sep 16, 2006
yeah gurl we are aiite now u know he kinda coming back to his senses and moreover he can't do that up here that is y i said in one thread like that about women who stays in abusive relationship hopin the man will change he will change alrite but u would av gon thro alot and i've learned from this ain't about to let it happen to me so i just can't stay it is ridiculous the way Nigerian men handle their wife like they are nothing i was talkin to this boy on d phone one day and he told me women are worthless see what i'm saying so i just can't stay in it.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by aloib(f): 6:31am On Sep 16, 2006
awww kiki its all good, i dont think its naija men alone, think its a man syndrome, dang!!! it hurts, well its al good gurl, just go wid the flow kiss kiss


hii iiceeeeeee cheesy
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 6:38am On Sep 16, 2006
yeah gurl i'm tryna go with it but u know i just can't get that shiit of my mind tho he is changin gurl i know it ain't Nigerian men alot thats y all men disgust me and i'm still waiting to be proved wrong thats y anyman i'm gon date he's got to try is best to prove himself and even if he does i don't think i can trust him
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by aloib(f): 6:40am On Sep 16, 2006
ohh gurl, wish u luck in finding the right guy, no worries, the right guy would come, lets just keep our fingers crossed hoping for the best,
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 6:42am On Sep 16, 2006
thanx gurl and u too iice
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by iice(f): 6:46am On Sep 16, 2006
Ey aloib kiss kiss

Kiki i sooooo know what you mean but like aloib said, when the right man comes along, it will be all good.

Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by aloib(f): 7:00am On Sep 16, 2006
sis i'm bored sad
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by dcuddles(f): 5:57pm On Sep 16, 2006
please dont tell your mum,it will do more harm dan good,i suggest you talk to someone who is close to ur dad and can get him to listen, u can also talk to him yourself once in awhile.but most of all PRAY about it,God is still GOD and i knw he answers prayers, dnt call or try doing anything silly to the other woman,it might only infuriate ur dad more then make things worse, dats wen ull hear him telling your mum that see the kind of child she as raised, u get? just chill shey u hear,,things will work out just fine,,but in the meantime get sumone who can tuk to him, God bless,
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by Gettolove(m): 4:06pm On Sep 18, 2006
why do we dodge reality and pretend as if all is well. I think you should let it blow because your mum is only having a temporary joy in her heart because your dada does not really love her anylonger. it may sound harsh, i wish you can ask him if he still loves your mum and see what his reply will be and you can see the felings on his face.
          If what you are saying is a true event that means your dad is fucking a married woman and he might get killed in the process or stabbed. If you have an older brother you can tell him and take the issue serious with your dada because babygirl your dad is only passing his time with your mum
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by windywendy(f): 4:45pm On Sep 18, 2006
aloib:

ohh girl, wish u luck in finding the right guy, no worries, the right guy would come, lets just keep our fingers crossed hoping for the best,

Yeah right, the right guy indeed  sad  shocked. With that mind-set, there's never going to be a right guy 'because even if he tries his best, she still won't trust him remember? Kiki, please don't kick my butt for saying this   kiss kiss kiss kiss Truth is you can't have any meaningful relationship without trust -- it's the foundation  smiley
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by BobbieMae(f): 8:27pm On Sep 20, 2006
Me i would carry cutlass and head up for the womans house.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 10:35pm On Sep 20, 2006
windywendy:

Yeah right, the right guy indeed sad shocked. With that mind-set, there's never going to be a right guy 'because even if he tries his best, she still won't trust him remember? Kiki, please don't kick my butt for saying this kiss kiss kiss kiss Truth is you can't have any meaningful relationship without trust -- it's the foundation smiley

well i'm not gon kick ur butt but that was d same thing my mom and dad claim to have before he turned her into a punchin bag
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by sexyeddy: 7:13pm On Sep 21, 2006
i dont think its right to tell ur mum cos u will really break her heart.just talk things over with ur dad and am sure he will look for a permanent solution.
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 9:12pm On Sep 21, 2006
don't talk to ur dad either cos when ur mum start showin some signs u know he gon think u told her already
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by Oracle(m): 12:11am On Sep 22, 2006
Just behave like nothing is going on
and don't forget to pray
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by jaybaby(f): 1:46pm On Sep 23, 2006
HAAAAAAAAaaa dnt tell ur MUM-act as if nuttin is happening-

1.Make sure he had stopped seein d other WOMAN
2.Threaten him-tell him u r goin 2 tell MUM -hmmmmmmmmm it will only work if he loves MUM ooooooooo u no naw sm MEn dnt CARE!
3.TASK him-he will drop wink

I had an xperience like this smtyms ago BUt with My UNCLE-he was cheatin on his WIFE

All i DID was TASk him- I got almost EVeRYTIN i askd 4-even d wife was surprised @ d way he was showing me LOVE hehehe

Till DATE i did not tell AUNTY about d AFFAIR
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by spade: 1:59pm On Sep 23, 2006
Assasinate the other Woman!!!
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by spade: 2:01pm On Sep 23, 2006
[b]OH MY GOD!!

I HAPPEN TO BE SUFFERING A SERIOUS CASE OF ITCHY BALLS!!!!!![/b
]
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 3:06pm On Sep 23, 2006
TMI-to much info
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by jaybaby(f): 3:12pm On Sep 23, 2006
kiki wattttttttttt?
Re: My Dad Has An Affair With Another Woman. What Should I Do? by kiki(f): 4:17pm On Sep 23, 2006
i was talkin bout wat spade said

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