Okay guys, thank God this fuel crisis is over (almost ). I mean, we ought to go for thanksgiving this Sunday to celebrate....its not easy. You should see the smile on my dad's face when this was announced.

So it came and went and I learned/noticed some strange but funny facts about fuel and/or electicity crisis. Did you?

Okay, let's go over mine first .

1) How to hide powerbanks.
When this fuel crisis began, I felt safe. I've got a powerbank that could power my phone for a day or two, till I could find where next to charge. I was contented. Well, that was before my family discovered my secret. At first I didn't notice it until my powerbank started dying on time. I would charge it full and before noon, it'd be flat, as in very flat that it wouldn't even blink again. I thought it was a device malfunction till I caught my cousin using it. I was vexed, was even more vexed when he revealed that everyone from mum to dad, to cousins and aunts...were "raping" my powerbank every time I turned my back.

So I started hiding it but funnily and annoyingly enough, they always found it. Hid it in my makeup bag...found, in my shoe...found, on the kitchen shelf...mumsi found that one, under the bed...still don't know the rat that found that one . Then I hid it in the dustbin....guys, I can't find my powerbank again .


2) 'Fine girl' no mean anything for queue.
So my mum had no choice but to ask me to get fuel. She didn't give me the money on time and I knew that there would be a very long queue at the fuel-station by the time I'd get there. So, I decided to turn on my womanly charms to get fuel on time. I madeup, wore a short red gown and a dash of an exotic fragrance, then I was ready . True enough, by the time I got there, I met a very long queue, so long that before it would get to me, the fuel would have finished (I mean also judging from the tankers some people had the mind to carry from their houses to buy fuel).

Undeterred, I catwalked to the guy who was next, batted my lashes and in the sweetest voice possible, told him about my little brother I'd left all alone at home to get fuel and if he would be kind enough to let me buy before him. The guy ignored the angry people behind him who demanded that i should be flung into a lagoon and listened to my sob-story with a smile.
"So?" I asked again, "Can I buy before you?".
See face transformation! The guy practically bathed me with spittle as he yelled, "If I slap u ehen! Them tell u say me too no get younger brother?! Abi you think say your maami water face fit move me?! Abeg go join line jaare! Onye ara!...".

Na so I jejely carry myself go join queue.

P.S: About 5 people don still add for the queue.

3. Black-marketers don't know fine girls too .
Before it got to my turn at the station, the fuel finished. In anger, I went to a black-marketer to try my luck. The guy didn't even smile when he told me it was N500 per litre. Shou?! This is the same guy that have been "chyking" me and should be glad that I came to him sef! N500 ke?! I smiled slyly and said, "Haba! Guy na me oh! Abeg help your girl sell am for N300 na...".

There came another spittle shower. "See, fine girl! If u no wan buy am for N500, disappear! I no dey look face for here!". I had no choice, ended up with 3 litres .


4) Dates with benefits .
My friend gisted me about how a guy asked her out and told her to meet him at Crunchies (an eatery). My babe's phone battery was low so she took her charger along. "Should we sit close to a socket, I'd charge my phone," she had concluded.

So she got there and all the guy could get was a bottle of cocacola for each of them and asked her to tell him about herself. She was pissed but decided to turn the annoying situation to a good one. Fortunately, they had taken a seat close to a socket, so she decided to use it. Only for her to discover that another phone had already been plugged there.
"Ooh", the guy said, "Do you want to plug your phone? Wait first let mine full then you'll charge. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting, tell me about yourself.".

My babe ditched him.

So much to relate! Other things I learned includes:
(i) How to push a car (with no fuel),
(ii) Trekking is a form of exercise, etc .

But enough about mine, let's hear your funny experiences!

CC: lalasticlala

when you are on the field playing football and your brother came to inform u mama sikira don use your 1liter fuel u bought for #600

Op, For your mind now, u wan open thread wey go reach front page abi? The big head on top of me don book space sef!

Op, For your mind now, u wan open thread wey go reach front page abi? The big head on top of me don book space sef!

I suppose go lash one babe for Atimbo but jez see my cars jez see wetin I dey pass through?


Thunder fire Nigeriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

[b]
Haahahahaha!!!

ROTFL.. LMAO. Twaci u don kill me with laff oo. But your family bad ooo. Una get many detectives and investigators for house. Chaii see as dem dey discover your power bank.

So your power bank got violated several times cos of the fuel scarcity?
I think you should hire Naijaboiy to take up the matter. LMAO.

***Modified***
Ok I experienced quite a lot during this period sha, but the one that happened last night still dey make me laff.

So I was busy roaming my neighbourhood with my extension and charger looking for where to charge. I kept jumping from one shop to the other cos everyone was still trying to conserve fuel considering the fact that PHCN have not given us light for over 3weeks.

Finally I ended up in my barbers shop who seems to have a striking resemblance with orijin101. He was looking tipsy but I just ignored, plugged my phone and relaxed.

Few minutes after, an elderly man strolled in saying he wanted to charge. We asked if he had a charger and he said No. He said he uses a Nokia pin mouth charger and he would just like to boost his phone a little so he could call his son who had been missing since noon.

Na im we commot person phone give the man ooo. Next tin I heard was "honey bawo ni". I was like

My suspicion was cut short when he said he called his wife. In my mind I was like this man can lie ooo.

After the call na so the man relax oo, na im we ask am say make him comot fone na. Dt was how the man started begging us that he wants his phone to have 2bars.

Ah ah!! 2bars ke!! How many hours dt wan go use. Na so we change am for the man ooo.
[/b]

90% of people's comment will be complaints about their phone battery..

Buhahahaha...... that your number 1 ehn twaci e funny die.... but in my own case, I dont hide it.... it's in the open... but if you get 2 head... chook phone na...... wa fe ku!!

BreezyRita:

Atimbo?

Yes Atimbo

KingTom:
I suppose go lash one babe for Atimbo but jez see my cars jez see wetin I dey pass through?


Thunder fire Nigeriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

See as red Light full your dash board!!

JeffreyJamez:
Buhahahaha...... that your number 1 ehn twaci e funny die.... but in my own case, I do by hide it.... it's in the open... but if you get 2 head... chook phone na...... wa fe ku!!

Haha! Agbero! Why dem no go fear u?!

Chikili me, why dem no go carry me play?

Hahaha...Really funny thread cutie...no worry e go better.

john4aguero:
Hahaha...Really funny thread cutie...no worry e go better.

Amen! Thanks dear

Twaci:
Haha! Agbero! Why dem no go fear u?!

Chikili me, why dem no go carry me play?

Lol no time to shine teeth o.....

JeffreyJamez:

See as red Light full your dash board!!

Heh heh heh heh heh!!!!

Who wears mini skirt and koi-koi shoes to buy fuel for queue?

Nne..u get liver sha...


.....erm but only say...



......yur liver dey for the wrong place !

dechandel:
Hahahahahahahhahahahaha

Now this cracked me up!!
No electricity and no fuel? Choi
Naija i hail thee


This is me postponing my visit..

Abeg send me invitation naa!!

Naija don tire me. *sobbing*

kannymoore:
Heh heh heh heh heh!!!!

Who wears mini skirt and koi-koi shoes to buy fuel for queue?

Nne..u get liver sha...

.....erm but only say...

......yur liver dey for the wrong place !

Had to try na!

dechandel:
Lmaooo!! Shey you voted for change? Wait and witness the change

Chaiiii!! But I nor vote naaa!!
*sobs more*

kinglekan:
[b]
Haahahahaha!!!

ROTFL.. LMAO. Twaci u don kill me with laff oo. But your family bad ooo. Una get many detectives and investigators for house. Chaii see as dem dey discover your power bank.

So your power bank got violated several times cos of the fuel scarcity?
I think you should hire Naijaboiy to take up the matter. LMAO.

***Modified***
Ok I experienced quite a lot during this period sha, but the one that happened last night still dey make me laff.

So I was busy roaming my neighbourhood with my extension and charger looking for where to charge. I kept jumping from one shop to the other cos everyone was still trying to conserve fuel considering the fact that PHCN have not given us light for over 3weeks.

Finally I ended up in my barbers shop who seems to have a striking resemblance with orijin101. He was looking tipsy but I just ignored, plugged my phone and relaxed.

Few minutes after, an elderly man strolled in saying he wanted to charge. We asked if he had a charger and he said No. He said he uses a Nokia pin mouth charger and he would just like to boost his phone a little so he could call his son who had been missing since noon.

Na im we commot person phone give the man ooo. Next tin I heard was "honey bawo ni". I was like

My suspicion was cut short when he said he called his wife. In my mind I was like this man can lie ooo.

After the call na so the man relax oo, na im we ask am say make him comot fone na. Dt was how the man started begging us that he wants his phone to have 2bars.

Ah ah!! 2bars ke!! How many hours dt wan go use. Na so we change am for the man ooo.
[/b]

Lolz! Sharp guy!

BreezyRita:

Ah!

Yeah

KingTom:

Na hin you wan follow my Ford Raptor race!... you die well!!

JeffreyJamez:


Na hin you wan follow my Ford Raptor race!... you die well!!

Bring your ketu raptor come, mumu I go show you say Hyundai Sonata na Beast

KingTom:
Bring your ketu raptor come, mumu I go show you say Hyundai Sonata na Beast

Hahaha Only the sound of my engine alone, your Hyundai Don off...... not to talk of say I raise am o!!... your four doors go fall commot be that!

JeffreyJamez:


Hahaha Only the sound of my engine alone, your Hyundai Don off...... not to talk of say I raise am o!!... your four doors go fall commot be that!

Wait make I start my Ranger , make my poor Hyundai no miss her period

KingTom:
Wait make I start my Ranger , make my poor Hyundai no miss her period

Ranger?!.... mcheeeeewwww........ that one dey learn work lol

Make you look rear view mirror see this kind thing for your back...

LOL!


Twaci your number two got me laughing real hard. I had the same experience too, it was not really a queue, the only problem was the price.


I needed fuel in my car,I was thinking I would use my pretty girl swag on this guy. choi! Nigga didn't even look at my face , he was looking at me, but the look on his face could kill someone

The worst part he started yelling , I had to wrap myself around my friend, who was busy laughing


I'm not the type to price things , but this fuel issue got me mehn!

I was pricing the fuel 300Naira for a litre when in the actual sense it's N500, I bought it, but I gave him a very dirty and tore single N500 note, the rest was okay

It was payback time