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See Gobe - Jokes Etc (2) - Nairaland

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See Gobe / Conversation Btw Boifwend And Gaefwend (see Gobe) / See Gobe (2) (3) (4)

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Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 11:08am On Jun 03, 2015
POLICE ROAD BLOCK Police officers were at a road block. One of them stops a trailer: POLICEMAN: Where is your permit? DRIVER: (Hands in his permit) POLICEMAN: Do you have an extinguisher? DRIVER: Yes, its there… POLICEMAN: Light up your indicators. DRIVER: (Light his indicators) POLICEMAN: Do you have a seat belt? DRIVER: Yes, I have. POLICEMAN: Honk your horn let me hear. The driver honks his horn. The policeman turns to his fellow officers and says the man has everything and they decided to let him go. As the driver was about to drive away, one of the police officers suddenly shouts: POLICEMAN: Is your SIM-card registered? DRIVER: (Completely surprised) No. POLICEMAN: Park! Park there!!! How can you drive without registering your number? What if you are involve in an accident, how will we identify you? http:///1HJ2B47
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 11:10am On Jun 03, 2015
WOMEN READ THIS! BY Richard Okafor Everything that happens to women, men are always involve. - MENopause - MENstrogen - MENstrual pain - MENstrual cycle - MENtal problem - GUYnaecology - MENstrual flow Ladies take note! http://buff
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 9:00am On Jul 01, 2015
Akpos' Final Exam.
Akpos was taking his final exam at Police College in Kano. Here is one of the questions:
"You are on patrol in the outskirts of Kano when an explosion occurs in the township.
On investigation you find a large hole has been blown in the footpath and there is an overturned van lying nearby. Inside the van there is a strong smell of alcohol. Both occupants a man and woman are injured.
You recognize the woman as the wife of your Divisional Inspector, who is at present away on a Peace Making Mission In Sudan.
A passing motorist stops to offer you assistance and you realize that he is a man who is wanted for armed robbery.
Suddenly a man runs out of a nearby house, shouting that his wife is expecting a baby and that the shock of the explosion has made the birth imminent.
Another man is crying for help, having been blown into an adjacent Canal by the explosion, and he cannot swim.
Describe in a few words what action you would take?"
Akpos thought for a moment, picked up his pen, and wrote: "I would take off my uniform and mingle with the crowd, do you want to turn me to a mad man?"
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 12:47am On Jul 04, 2015
Mr James and his friend Mr Oko were arguing about their sons stupidity. Mr James argued that his son was more silly than Oko’s son. Oko however, disagreed, so they decided to put their sons to test. James called his son and asked him to buy something for him at the market. The boy ran out without even asking for what to buy and money. James said,”You see how silly he is? he didn’t even ask for what to buy or money“. Mr Oko retorted : "is this what you call foolishness? Just wait and see", Oko called his son and said “go home and check if I am in the house” Oko’s son took to his heel and came back panting,”papa U no dey house. Mama say U dey your friend's place. Abeg which one FOOLISH pass
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 8:28pm On Jul 04, 2015
Shehu was in Pry 3 in 1983, his teacher always yelled at him, calling him a waste of space and telling him he will never amount to anything in life..one day shehu's grandmother came to school on open day to see how her grandson has been doing. The teacher told her quite frankly that she had never seen such a dumb boy in all her life and advised her to withdraw and enroll him under a handicraft man because formal schooling for Shehu would be a total waste of time and money....The grandmother shocked at the feed back, withdrew her grandson from school and relocated to Maiduguri ...25 years later the teacher was diagnosed with brain tumor all the doctors she met strongly advised her to do surgery and that there is only one doctor that can do the procedure in Nigeria and he's in Maiduguri. Left with no option, the doctor agreed to have the surgery performed....'IT WAS SUCCESSFUL'....... . When she open her eyes after the surgery, she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her..she wanted to thank him but she couldn't speak..suddenly her face started turning pale, she made several attempts to raise her hand and tell him something but couldn't ..she struggled till she gave up the ghost. The doctor was shocked. He tried to find out what went wrong. Eventually he found out that it was our friend SHEHU (Now working as a cleaner in the hospital) who had disconnected the woman's ventilator to connect his phones charger=-[ ..... wait you thought Shehu became a doctor ? No! NO!! NO!!!..not in this my story anyway.....happy weekend.....

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Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:29pm On Jul 05, 2015
Se me ooooo, a girl posted a status today saying '' ALL MEN'S ARE GOAT. den i asked her, av u feed ur Father wit a grass today? Den she started abusing me......Pls whose fault?
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:34pm On Jul 05, 2015
>Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour if water is added onto it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga's room, drank the new wine and added water on it. Immediately it started changing colour. Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the kitchen. Meanwhile, oga and madam were sitted in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen. ... OGA: Akpos Akpos: Oga OGA: who drank my pasties?. No answer! OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?. No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there. OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me. Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything, except your name. OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand beside madam and ask me a questionwhile i stand here. Akpos went and did what oga said. Akpos: Ogaaaaaa OGA: Yes Akpos Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?. No answer. Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house. No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen. OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one doesnot hear anything, except one's name. MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie. Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?. MADAM: Yes Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen She enters. Akpos: Madam MADAM: Yes Akpos Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga Madam rushed out of the kitchen MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all.
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:37pm On Jul 05, 2015
Dem say boko haram don poison beans and i buy half bag for house. From di one wey i cook, i giv my dog ‘bingo’ make e first test am, 45mins lata bingo stil dey waka, I dey jolly den i eat my own. Afta i eat finish, my gateman run come tel me say bingo don die, hey! I run enta house and drink full gallon of palm oil for my belle. I dey tink my life come outside, my gateman com dey tell me say di driver wey kill bingo wan come beg me. If na u, wetin u go do di gateman?

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Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:40pm On Jul 05, 2015
Akpos died and went to heaven where he met Angel Micheal ..
Akpos: “So finally I make heaven after all the rubbish wey I do for life… Thank God for God Oooh!”
Angel Micheal: “Oya come enter ya room”
Akpos: “Bros Micheal, abeg wetin dey for downstairs cos di noise na DIE”
Angel Micheal: “Na hell fire be dat
Akpos: “I fit go peep?”
Angel Micheal: “No wahala but we go lock gate by 5pm so if you no quick come back you go just stay hell fire”
…Akpos goes to peep and there he sees all the celebrities that ever lived on earth clubbing and having a lot of fun. Akpos comes back by 4pm and…”
Angel Micheal speaks: “Nice to see you back early my son you are truly a son of God”
Akpos: “For where? I come pack my load before una Lock Heaven… Cool
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:43pm On Jul 05, 2015
A class teacher in naija dey instructs his students 2 each stand up and make a short poem about thier name and what they’d like 2 do in future.
The first to start is Usman, ha said..
USMAN; my name is usman
I will grow up and be a man
I will like to go to japan
if I can, if I can
The 2nd student is a girl named Candy, she said..
CANDY; my name is candy
I will grow up and be a lady
and i will like 2 have a baby
if i can, if i can
and finally there is Akpos, the original naija guyg, he said..
Akpos; my name is Akpos
I will grow up 2 be a man
to hell with japan
am going to help candy with her plan
i know i can , i know i can… Matrix
Happy Weekend!!
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:47pm On Jul 05, 2015
ghost readers say something na cry 1000 plus views 0 comment
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 6:55pm On Jul 05, 2015
Teacher: The first son of Adam was named?..
Akpos: Adamu. Cool
Teacher: Akpos, assuming you were at a bus stop and boko-haram throws a bomb. What will you do?
Akpos: i will stop assuming…..
Teacher; what is a verb?
Akpos; a verb is a valve in a bicycle tyre
Teacher; what are u sayin?
Akpos; its a complete sentence sir
Teacher; are u mad?
Akpos; its a question sir
Teacher; dont be stupid
Akpos; its an advice sir
Teacher; stop that nonsence!
Akpos; its a command sir
Teacher; U are an idiot
Akpos; its an insult sir
Teacher; get out of my class!
Akpos; its an order sir
Teacher; oh goodness!,,, what a boy!,,,
Akpos; its an exclamation sir
Teacher; may God hav mercy on U
Akpos; its a prayer sir
…. the teacher fainted
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 8:30am On Jul 06, 2015
A Farmer caught a thief who had been stealing his yams and decided to drag him to the village square. Half-way to the square, the thief said to the man: ''pleade I av forgotten my slipperd in the farm, can I go and get them? The former obliged, ''Hurry up! I wud be waiting for u here.'' He waited endlessly and realised he had been fooled. He went home and told his elder brother wat happened. His brother brutally slapped him and said, ''You are extremely dumb! U shud have told the thief to wait while u go get his slippers for him him..''
Good morning
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:36pm On Jul 06, 2015
America NO PASS Naija JOOR!!! Everything they get we get am too; They get Mohammed Alli, we get Bash Alli. They get T. pain, we get T.maya. They get T.I, we get M.I. They get 2-pac, we get 2- face. They get Beyonce, we get Tiwa savage. They get Lil wayne, We get Terry G. They get Timberland, We get DON JAZZY! They get wiz khalifa, we get wiz kid. They get Hollywood,we get nollywood They get Silicon valley, we get Computer village. They get Mac Donnalds, we get Mr. Biggs. They get Las Vegas, we get Lasgidi. They get Miami Beach, we get Lekki Beach. They get Al Paccino, we get Peter Edochie. They get Pirate of d Caribbean, we get Pirate of Aba. They get beauty and the beast we get Bianca and Ojukwu, They get Mr Bean, we get Mr Ibu, They get American Lotto, we get Baba Ijebu. They fear Al Qaeda, we fear Boko Haram abi na lieeeeee??
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:45pm On Jul 06, 2015
WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE
1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a
good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days, we had
many wives and many children because of our large farm- lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of
spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother
father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.
12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.
13. My son, your mother rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car
outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house,
divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame
her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my
family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.
20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.
21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, so that your children will take care of you too.
← Coincidence ?
Apoks th

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Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:49pm On Jul 06, 2015
Did you know ? 1. MOSQUE has 6 letters so does CHURCH. 2. QURAN has 5 letters so does BIBLE. 3. LIFE has 4 letters so does DEAD.… 4. HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE. 5. ENEMIES has 7 letters, so does FRIENDS. 6. LYING has 5 letters, so does TRUTH. 7. HURT has 4 letters, so does HEAL. 8. NEGATIVE has 8 letters, so does POSITIVE. 9. FAILURE has 7 letters, so does SUCCESS. 10. BELOW has 5 letters, but so does ABOVE. 11. CRY has 3 letters so does JOY. 12. ANGER has 5 letters, so does HAPPY. 13. RIGHT has 5 letters,so does WRONG. 14. RICH has 4 letters,so does POOR. 15. FAIL has 4 letters,so does PASS 16. KNOWLEDGE has 9 letters,so does IGNORANCE

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Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 2:00pm On Jul 06, 2015
Akpos and Ofego were having dinner when suddenly armed robber broke into their house. Akpos wanted to run away but he said to himself dat if he run away, he might be killed so he freezed himself & stood like an image. The armed robber ordered for money but they did not have money, so d armed robber looked at d image, then turned to Akpos’ friend Ofego and said:
Armed Robber: Take a look at such a beautiful image you have in ur house, but you don’t have any money. Infact i’m going to destroy dis image. sets his gun, points at the image(Akpos) and was about to shoot.*
Akpos: (screamed out!) Please dont shoot, I am d image of God.
Armed Robber: So here you are, I have been praying to you to give me job but you don’t want to answer my prayer. Today, since i have d opportunity of seeing you, i will not let u escape. When you get to hell, explain to them why u did not want to give me a job.
*about to shoot*
Akpos: (screamed out again!) Please, please, I am d image of Akpos. I don’t want to die!.
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 2:14pm On Jul 06, 2015
Akpos’ elder brother, Tommy, traveled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpos, their aged mom & their pet cat, Kelly. Last week Tommy called from London to know how they’re doing…
TOMMY: Hello brother how are you doing? how’s mom and how is Kelly?
AKPOS: Kelly is Dead!
TOMMY(after a pause): Akpos, bad news is not revealed in that manner. U should have started by saying something like, “Kelly fell
inside a well but neighbors are trying to rescue it”. Then when I call again U tell me, “Kelly broke it’s neck and is receiving treatment”. Then when I call again, U tell me they did their best but couldn’t save it. That’s how to break a bad news in a mature way. OK?
AKPOS: Ok bros, understood.
TOMMY: Ok, so how is Mom?
AKPOS: Bros, Mom fell inside a well, but neighbours are trying to rescue her.
(Phone cuts).Tommy has been admitted in a private hospital in London after going into coma.
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 2:20pm On Jul 06, 2015
Akpos enters a church n finds the priest.
Priest: How may I help you son?
Akpos: Im looking for my wife, she said she would be here but as I can see she’s not around. Now that am here, I would like to confess. Then go to the confession area
Akpos: forgive me father for I have sinned
Priest: What are your sins my son?
Akpos: The other day, I went looking for my wife at her home but she was not there. I found her sister alone, I slept with the sister.
Priest: Oh, that is sin, but at least you came to confess
Akpos: Then another day I went looking for her at her aunt’s place but she was not there, I found her cousin alone, I slept with the cousin
Priest: You know that is wrong my son
Akpos: Then the other day I went looking for her at her working place. She was not there, I found her colleague alone…
Priest interrupts: Let me guess, you slept with her colleague
Akpos: Yes father
Then there was total silence after that.
Akpos: Father?
Akpos: Fatherrr?
Still no reply
Akpos: Father are you dia??
Akpos peeps through and finds out that the priest is no longer there . He looks for him and finds him hiding.
Akpos: Why are you hiding father?
Priest (shaking with fear): I’ve just realised I’m the only one here and you came looking for your wife.

1 Like

Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 2:25pm On Jul 06, 2015
1. You will cheat on your partner, you will still cheat during exams.. Your be cheetah??
2. You fix eye lashes like toothbrush, tattoo your body like vitafoam design, wear earrings like alloyrims and you want a God fearing man.. Sorry, God won’t give his saint to Devil’s saint, it doesn’t work that way.
3. Some girls will be scratching their buttocks in public as if it’s recharge card…Haba!
4. Some girls handbag be looking like ballot boxes.. as if they wanna go rig election.
5. Guys don’t put banana inside their boxers to deceive you girls, why put foam bra and foam bum bum to deceive guyz. You case dey heaven.
6. Girls and love of money shaaa!.. How can you be asking me “where is my gift? “on mother’s day?.. Are you my mother?
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 9:12pm On Jul 06, 2015
She visited me in my lodge last night for the 1st time. We discussed and shared our past life experiences together. When it was time for her to leave, it started raining heavily till 10:30pm. As she couldn't go back cuz it was already night, she decided to sleep with me. We slept together and didn't touch each other. In the early morning, she woke up, took her bath, then dressed up and left. After an hour, i called her to know if she arrived safely and she said yes. Then, i asked her when next she would visit me. To my greatest surprise, she replied, "VISIT U AGAIN? THE ONE I VISITED, WHAT DID U DO?. After saying that, she hung up the call. Am kinda confused by that statement since morning.Please did i do any wrong by not touching her??
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:35pm On Jul 07, 2015
Teacher: How old is your father? Kid: He is 6 years. Teacher: What? How is this possible? Kid: He became father only when I was born. Logic!! . This kid is from IIN! ! Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds _______________________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. _______________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables. _______________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) _______________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. _______________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! _______________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie...... always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet' _______________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...... _______________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No sir, It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ____________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher _______________________________ PASS BY SHARING IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

1 Like

Re: See Gobe by daslimiski: 2:44pm On Jul 07, 2015
Nice jokes. Keep them coming!
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 7:51pm On Jul 07, 2015
daslimiski:
Nice jokes. Keep them coming!
thanks jare...you are the first to comment smiley
Re: See Gobe by hfinest1(m): 11:10pm On Jul 07, 2015
lollzzz.... nice jokes bro keep 'em coming
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:33am On Jul 08, 2015
jokes
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:35am On Jul 08, 2015
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! Spit'em out! They're assholes!"
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:37am On Jul 08, 2015
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Vote: Joke

1 Like

Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:39am On Jul 08, 2015
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched."; Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't Bleep with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:41am On Jul 08, 2015
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future." "I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny. "Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad. "Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of shit!"
Vote: Jo
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:42am On Jul 08, 2015
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to
Re: See Gobe by garlicrey(m): 1:44am On Jul 08, 2015
A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

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