Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,148,334 members, 7,800,601 topics. Date: Wednesday, 17 April 2024 at 09:36 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / "Few Hell On Monday". A Satire. (676 Views)
Black Monday - A Crime Fiction / A Client From Hell / Lessons In Love: Monday- A Story By Kayode Odusanya (2) (3) (4)
(1) (Reply)
"Few Hell On Monday". A Satire. by TheFury: 12:28pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
Cms 500! Cms 500!! The words thundered out with a vengeance from the dirty and twisted mouth of the conductor his teeth looked like an uneven broom dipped in faded engine oil I dove in through the window and clawed my way to a seat. A thick woman with boulder sized backsides crashed on a man's thighs he shrieked out in pain the rest of the passengers laughed heartily. "sori sah, I tin sey nah shia" the woman apologized. The bus coughed, spat out unearthly fumes and resumed its ragged-jagged journey. The man beside me cursed loudly, his wallet has vanished; I turn away. another victim of the Danfo Patrol Men. their most hallowed business tripled, fuelled by the dearth. Iya Tolani's bread was three times the price this morning Baba Nkechi was rushed to the hospital when he heard it His poor heart couldnt take the news It was grave news to me; the bread. Our landlord, Mr Ladipo led a group of brave trekkers on an exodus yesterday A trek of defiance; unwilling to part with three Azikiwes It was a baptism of fire: Oshodi to Apapa. The sun cooked him like 'chadnezzar's fire he sweated out everything on arrival; water, salt, sugar and oil. Three mighty jugs of water saved him from sheol. The exodus is monumental this morning. while the vehicle roads are free flowing like oil an unnatural sight on a monday morning, one of the miracles of Premium Mass Scarcity. "Oga, na whia u go drop?" "After Oniru, that junction between Continental and Four Points another 200 squeezed out from a dry pipeline. This conductor made poor jokes all the way from CMS he would make a terrible comedian Mrs Alexis greets me warmly at work I am shocked She is my section chief, one of the ogas at the topper most top I have been here three years She doesnt know my first name the stapler on her desk gets more acknowledgement than I do "how is it naa?" Her accent is somewhere between British, American, Ghanaian, Irish, French and Scottish. In my country, a fortunate state in life, gives you clean and instant mastery of speech "It was tough ma"; I am bemused. "my broda it is o, my kids are at home, I couldnt get them to school, and you know they cant walk BIS kids can't do that; its just a bother, the government keeps making promises." So my oga has no fuel too Her husband is one of the bulldogs of the National Non Petroleum Commission and did she just say: "brother?" So petrol is thicker than blood Well, another miracle of scarcity.© Follow on twitter @Grey_scribbler |
(1) (Reply)
Mobilebookshelf Presents Write And Win Competition / Fun Facts About Words And The English Language / A Dance Of Humour
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 13 |