Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) - Literature (2) - Nairaland
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AJEGUNLE : The Tale From The Ghetto / A New Creation. (A Story By Donkross1 And Oyinprince) / Hillarious But Painful Ecounter With My Network Provider(short Fiction By Kutty) (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 4:53pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Wow...! Thats so kind of sire...! U are the boss and i clearly understand that u are jux tryana help an upcominq writer not a kinda villification. Honestly am so happy for ur corrections and i pledge to work on it... Plz always try to correct me whe i go wrong, i learn from N.L great writers like u... Long live the king. The throne is urx...!!! thronekid: |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 4:53pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Typing... |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 5:30pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
"Kutty u don come back?" Kenny asked me as i returned from church. "Yes ooo, shey you don cook finish ni? I dey starve oo" I respond. "E remain small, Akor don return ooo, go make you greet am the food go done before you returned" Kenny informed. "Akor don ? Correct! I dey come make i go hail am" I said as i left for Akor's apartment which is located at the eastern side of Old soldier's lodge. Akor is a fair, tall and hansome dude from Edo, he went home recently to attend to his sick grandmum. "Akorlistic Akor...! The man of the year" I hailed Akor as i approached his apartment. "Nwannnee...! Lekwanu Kutty oooh" He shouted as he sighted me. Are you suprise that an Edo can speak Ibo? We have lived with Akor for almost 1 year now in the same compound as a friend and a brother, so now tell me why would'nt he master Ibo? " Nwanne o wu kwa munwa ooo, How villa na?" i asked. "Bros villa dey okay ooo." he responded. "I already know na, see as come get yourself wella wella, anyway how your grandmum na? She don well?" i asked. "Yes ooo, the old woman is better now after abducting thousand of naira from me." Akor lamented. "Akor, you mumu ooo, Money and person which one importance pass...?" i asked him. "Abeg forget, the old woman just they suffer me willingly, she even know say she no go reach 2 more years to die, yet she still dey sick all this yeye sickness, wasting enough money that would have contribute a lot in her burial." Akor Speaked sadly. "Akor you dey mad ooo... Just pray say God no hear this." I gave out useless cautioning. "Abegg forget that, eeeehen... Wetin una cook? Me dey starve ooo, and i no fit settle down cook something now." Akor speaked out. "No worry Kenny cook rice, make we go chop, the Rice plenty small, e go full us all" I assured. We lefted to the great Kenny & Kutty apartment, we met our old soldier Landlord on the way. "Oga landlord, Good afternoon ooo" We echoed. "Akor you don return? How una family?" He replied snubbing our greetings. "See this man ooo, wetin he dey form sef?" I dare not say this out, if i want to escape renowned delicious slap. "The food don done?" I asked Kenny as we entered our room. "Yes Edon don, i keep am make the thing cool small." He replied. "Keep wetin ? Abeg bring am make we dey eat like that joor... I dey starve." Akor speaked out. Kenny broughted out the Jollof Rice garnished with Vegetable and other ingredients. "Where did Kenny get this vegetable from? Make e no be old' soldier them own, coz i no wan chop slap" i thought. "Make una dey leave this vegetable for me, i dey like am well well." Akor said, or rather commanded. Akor was indeed starving, just come and see the way he is rushing the food. " Akor easy ooo" i cautioned occassionally wich he only responded with a nod. " I do belle full ooo" I annouced after some minutes of eating. " Me too don belle full sef, Akor u still dey eat" Kenny asked. "Yes ooo, dish me small qauntity abeg put am plenty vegetable" Akor replied mouthfully. After the eating, we all broke off into conversation, soon something happened. . . . Who can guess...? |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Nobody: 8:23am On Jun 09, 2015 |
Rounakid:First things first. Stop typing in abbreviated words. It doesn't pay. Also notice, 'am' is not the same thing with 'I'm' Whenever you'll need me, I'll want to be there. Anew, whenever you want me to stop, say it. I'll understand. 1 Like |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 9:49am On Jun 09, 2015 |
thronekid:no never stop... Control me when i goes wrong... U be the boss, i be the bosset...!! |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 12:47pm On Jun 09, 2015 |
"K- Square, i won travell ooo." Akor announced at the middle of our discussion. "Travel kwa, just today that you returned? Anyway where you wan travell go this time around, and when would that be?" i quired. " Donjazzy dey call me say make i come Dubai, say we get show there." Akor responded with seriousness in his face. "Hian... Show kwa? Abeg na which time you become musician talk more of joining Mavin crew." I asked baffled. " You no go know na, dey there na." he responded as he began taking off his clothes. Kenny have been laughing out hard at the drama performed by our dear Akor, Soon, before i could say "Brock lesnar" Akor was through with the removing of his dress and was only clad on boxers and bare footed heading straight to the exit door. "Bros, im go be ooo, i don prepare finish, will be back in next week" He announced heading to the door. "Akor you don dey craze ooo, na boxers and bare foot you wan take go out?" Kenny shouted. "Yes naa, u no know say na Mavin latest dress code be this? Abeg make una dey waist my time make i dey go, one of our driver is waiting outside for me." He responded and continue heading to the exit. That's when we know that our Friend "Charles Oshiomole Akor" is gradually going nut. We rushed him and brought him down, then tied him with a rope, as he countinue throwing us curses and threats. "Kutty and Kenny una don die, shey na me una tie down ni?" "No na me you tied down" i almost say. "Na thunder go blast all una family, if i ever lost this Dubai show." lol... Show ke? Maybe spritual show or so i thought. He continue struggling and cursing, after some minutes, he fell asleep. " E get as my body dey do me ooo, Kenny wetin you use cook this food sef?" I quired. " Na weed ooo, as i look for vegetable wey i go put for the food , i no see any, so i decided to buy weed (Igboh) garnish am, make e sweet wella." Kenny narrated. "Kenny, you wicked ooo, why you no tell me, make we restrict Akor from consuming the food na?" I asked half annoyed. "I be dey wan tell u, but i no get opportunity to tell you, as u entered with Akor." Kenny said, with apology written all over his face. Talking about Kenny, he was a living "FELA ANIKULAKPOKUTI" when it comes for weed smoking. He was the one who introduced me to weed smoking, he started smoking since the days of our secondary school days. But, what baffles me, is where he must have gotten that particular one he used in cooking the Rice, since NDLEA arrested the person who sells it around. I took my eyes back to the lying Akor, and recall the event that took place the first day i smoked weed. It was a verry hot afternoon, i just returned from school, since my mother was still preparing lunch, i decided to pay Kenny who was absent from school that day a visit. "Kenny howfar na... Why you no come school today ni? I asked when i reached Kenny's Abode to meet him home alone. "Nna eeeh, nothing, i just feel like not coming." He responded smiling. "Okay na, you will tell that to "Master Okoro's cane tommorrow." i tried to frighten him. Mr.Okoro was our form Teacher back then at Umunkolo memorial college, back then on our secondary school days at Enugu our home town. He was the synonyms of Wickedness, Harshness and sterness, he was the worst nightmare of every student. "Abegi, fashi Mr.Okoro's matter, E get wetin i go do now, wey go make im cane no enter my body well." "Na lie, nothing fit stop Mr.Okoro's ugly cane from penertrating in you." i challenged. "Come with me" He said, as i followed him to their backyard, he brought out black santaner, with a dry leaves as the items inside it. He then wrapped a long stick withe help of paper and the leaves. He then dragged in for about 2- 5 puffs and offer me, i was eager to know how it works, so i collected the stick and dragged in, it really taste great so i continue puffing it. Before i you could say "The Walcott" i was on my 2nd wrap as Kenny continue offering me more wrapped sticks. "Mehn this thing sweet ooo, wetin them they call am abeg." i quired from Kenny. "Na Igboh be im na, u fit call am Kush or even Drug, depending on which inspiration it gives you." Kenny answered. After smoking more three wraps making it five sticks, i began to behave strangely. "Shey u know say this una house dey for road ba? Oya come help me put the thing for my head make i carry am go beside that Mango tree." I said to Kenny pointing to a palm tree as a Mango tree. That was when my friend Kenny know that thing no they normal again, what happen to me that day, was a story for another day. "Kutty make we go play ball na." kenny broughted me back to from my dream land. "Make we leave Akor commot?" I asked. "Yes na, e go don wake up before we return" He assured. "Okay na, make we go, E don tey wey ball dey hungry me sef." I said as we left leaving our sleeping friend Akor behind with door locked outside. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 1:11pm On Jun 09, 2015 |
"K- Square, i won travell ooo." Akor announced at the middle of our discussion. "Travel kwa, just today that you returned? Anyway where you wan travell go this time around, and when would that be?" i quired. " Donjazzy dey call me say make i come Dubai, say we get show there." Akor responded with seriousness in his face. "Hian... Show kwa? Abeg na which time you become musician talk more of joining Mavin crew." I asked baffled. " You no go know na, dey there na." he responded as he began taking off his clothes. Kenny have been laughing out hard at the drama performed by our dear Akor, Soon, before i could say "Brock lesnar" Akor was through with the removing of his dress and was only clad on boxers and bare footed heading straight to the exit door. "Bros, im go be ooo, i don prepare finish, will be back in next week" He announced heading to the door. "Akor you don dey craze ooo, na boxers and bare foot you wan take go out?" Kenny shouted. "Yes naa, u no know say na Mavin latest dress code be this? Abeg make una dey waist my time make i dey go, one of our driver is waiting outside for me." He responded and continue heading to the exit. That's when we know that our Friend "Charles Oshiomole Akor" is gradually going nut. We rushed him and brought him down, then tied him with a rope, as he countinue throwing us curses and threats. "Kutty and Kenny una don die, shey na me una tie down ni?" "No na me you tied down" i almost say. "Na thunder go blast all una family, if i ever lost this Dubai show." lol... Show ke? Maybe spritual show or so i thought. He continue struggling and cursing, after some minutes, he fell asleep. " E get as my body dey do me ooo, Kenny wetin you use cook this food sef?" I quired. " Na weed ooo, as i look for vegetable wey i go put for the food , i no see any, so i decided to buy weed (Igboh) garnish am, make e sweet wella." Kenny narrated. "Kenny, you wicked ooo, why you no tell me, make we restrict Akor from consuming the food na?" I asked half annoyed. "I be dey wan tell u, but i no get opportunity to tell you, as u entered with Akor." Kenny said, with apology written all over his face. Talking about Kenny, he was a living "FELA ANIKULAKPOKUTI" when it comes for weed smoking. He was the one who introduced me to weed smoking, he started smoking since the days of our secondary school days. But, what baffles me, is where he must have gotten that particular one he used in cooking the Rice, since NDLEA arrested the person who sells it around. I took my eyes back to the lying Akor, and recall the event that took place the first day i smoked weed. It was a verry hot afternoon, i just returned from school, since my mother was still preparing lunch, i decided to pay Kenny who was absent from school that day a visit. "Kenny howfar na... Why you no come school today ni? I asked when i reached Kenny's Abode to meet him home alone. "Nna eeeh, nothing, i just feel like not coming." He responded smiling. "Okay na, you will tell that to "Master Okoro's cane tommorrow." i tried to frighten him. Mr.Okoro was our form Teacher back then at Umunkolo memorial college, back then on our secondary school days at Enugu our home town. He was the synonyms of Wickedness, Harshness and sterness, he was the worst nightmare of every student. "Abegi, fashi Mr.Okoro's matter, E get wetin i go do now, wey go make im cane no enter my body well." "Na lie, nothing fit stop Mr.Okoro's ugly cane from penertrating in you." i challenged. "Come with me" He said, as i followed him to their backyard, he brought out black santaner, with a dry leaves as the items inside it. He then wrapped a long stick withe help of paper and the leaves. He then dragged in for about 2- 5 puffs and offer me, i was eager to know how it works, so i collected the stick and dragged in, it really taste great so i continue puffing it. Before i you could say "The Walcott" i was on my 2nd wrap as Kenny continue offering me more wrapped sticks. "Mehn this thing sweet ooo, wetin them they call am abeg." i quired from Kenny. "Na Igboh be im na, u fit call am Kush or even Drug, depending on which inspiration it gives you." Kenny answered. After smoking more three wraps making it five sticks, i began to behave strangely. "Shey u know say this una house dey for road ba? Oya come help me put the thing for my head make i carry am go beside that Mango tree." I said to Kenny pointing to a palm tree as a Mango tree. That was when my friend Kenny know that thing no they normal again, what happen to me that day, was a story for another day. "Kutty make we go play ball na." kenny broughted me back to from my dream land. "Make we leave Akor commot?" I asked. "Yes na, e go don wake up before we return" He assured. "Okay na, make we go, E don tey wey ball dey hungry me sef." I said as we left leaving our sleeping friend Akor behind with door locked outside. |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 9:41pm On Jun 09, 2015 |
On our way to play ball, we met Ezeah our very good friend, who lives in the same street with us. "Ezeah howfar na, where are you heading to?" i asked him. "No where particulary, i just dey stroll." He responded. "Eeehn, make all of us follow go play ball na, na there me and Kenny dey go." I offered. "Okay, no probs make we dey go, e don tey small we i even play ball." I, Kenny and Ezeah sets off to State Central school pitch Uruagu. " Make una choose us oo... We wan follow una play" Kenny shouted as we reached the football pitch. " Una sure say, una sabi play ball?" One of them, i supposed to be their captain, since he is the one holding ball quired. "Yes naa, na me be Kutty Ronaldo, google my name, na me and Lionel messi dey train together." I spewed trash. We where later selected to play after some minutes of surveying us. "Heee! You on black jersey go down and join the down team, na you go assist that dark guy on yellow shorts to play striker." The supposed captain commanded refering to me. And you on Green should join the other team, na striker you go play too. The captain directed Kenny too, then others. The ball kickstarts, the defenders before me, makes it so hard for me to score goal as a one man striker. Like play like play... "Goal ooo." our opponent have scored us. This got me fumed up, we passed the, and i inteded to run with the ball, i did my flip flap style i learnt from Ronaldinho, and i unfortunately missed a step and landed with a thud on the ground, my fellow teamate just ignored me and did as if nothing happened, this got me more annoyed, i decided to play by myself alone if i regain my self, since no one cares about my welfare. I regained my self, and attacked with a force at the midfield area, the person with the ball passed it to Kenny, and i rushed him with the aim of fouling and collecting the ball from him. "Piaaam." guess what...? Am lying flat on the ground, my dear friend Kenny have given me a gud cut and i failed like a load of shits without control, and guess what? Kenny have tallied a goal from that area making it 2 - 0, this got me infuriated. I rested for some minutes, and i started feeling some extra strenght on me, i started seeing the huge defenders before me as a ants. I began seeing our old local pitch as Starmford Bridge, i guess my good friend Sir.Weed (Igboh) is at work. Soon the ball gets to me and i moved with a great speed towards the defenders, after cutting one of the, i created a chance and fired a beautiful shot fro the area and... "Gooooalll!" i have made it 2 - 1. The game continued, and Kenny scored another goal with a nodding. Shitup! I have to equalize this goals i thoughted. I got hold of the ball and sped off like usain bolt, the weed i took is actually highing my morale. I beated the central backers who advanced to attack me with a run, was running on a high speed not even minding where am running to, when i raised up my head, ooow it has become too late. " Gbaaaaam!!!" I hitted my self at the cross bar. I saw every body tooks off, thats all i can remember. I instantly goes nut, i started seeing the pitch that am in, as a Miami Beach, i saw one beautiful girl caressing me on my whole body, suddenly, she started beating my head when she she reached that part. I initially thoughted that it's part of massaging, but she increased her hand beats and this is actually breaking my head, soon. "Aaaah!." i shouted as i wake up seeing Akor, Tony,Ezeah, Kenny and his girl Nkasi all around me, Nkasi is massaging me with a hot water "eeeeerm... What is wrong? I asked no one particulary. They all just laugh at me " kutty Ronaldo." Kenny said and they bursted out laughing hared again. Then my dull brain recalled what happened that brought me into the present condition that i am, i recall what happened the yesterday, My torned Trouser, Weed palaver, Rita's disgrace and the crossbar hitting. What a bad Sunday! Now we are in new week, i pray it will be better than yesterweek. I dozed off slowly as i looked at the beautiful sun rising.... |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Ajibo111(m): 8:23am On Jun 10, 2015 |
thronekid: 210 LIKES FOR YOU...... JUST LIKE YOU HAVE JUST SAID...... ROUNAKID.......WORK ON SPACING......IT GIVES YOUR LITERARY WORK A PLEASANT LOOK.... AGAIN...YOU NEED TO IMPROVE ON YOUR DICTION(CHOICE OF WORDS)......FURTHERMORE...WORK GREATLY ON YOUR TENSES AND SPELLINGS....... AND EXPECT A GREAT CHANGE IN YOUR STORY.... |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 8:26am On Jun 10, 2015 |
Ajibo111:lol... Tnx... U av' commented at last *wink* |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Oyinprince(m): 2:48pm On Jun 10, 2015 |
bookmarked |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 12:46pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
"Kenny howfar na, wetin we go eat today?" I asked Kenny, one Friday Evening, after we returned from Manson work. Yes you heard me right, Mason work, that is what i and my friend Kenny did to support our living, apart from that we occasionally receive money allowance from our various family. Kenny is Mason while i serves as his Labourer, Though i don't usually understand what he usually work. He can build a very long couch without plumb. All he know was just to be laying bricks on top of others, not minding if they where in a straight lines. There was this day that he layed a brick that nearly cost our lives, there was one Three star Ranked Soldier who live at our street, he invited Kenny to help him renovate his fallen side of fence, we set off to work the following days after agreeing price. We started working and Kenny was busy boasting all around spewing how good he is when it comes for Brick Laying. That he can lay 3000 Bricks a day with clean sheet. The soldier got impressed by the fastness of my friend Kenny in Brick Laying, he odered his servant to prepare a delicious meal for us. That day we enjoyed a meal Ain't sure i would taste it again for the rest of my living. After enjoying Coconut Jollof Rice garnished with Canadian Chicken we washed it down with "Baron the Bar" Table wine. After we completed the job, we were rewarded handsomely, and we went home dancing Sekem on the way throughout without knowing that our lamentation awaits us. "Bang...! Bang...! Bang...!!!" was the noise we heard on our door next day's early morning. I stood up to open the door since my dear Kenny is still at his dreamland trip to Dubai. "Zrrrraaah!" was the thundering slap that i met when i opened the door, I instantly starts dancing featuring in some foreign dancestep without any audio playing. "Zaaaahm... Zahmmmm...!" Comes another thunderblolt of slapping, and that did the magic, i instantly regain my lost sense. "Wetin i do na?" i asked a question which i wish i did'nt. Anyway i was replied by anothe sweet sixteen slap wich makes me became dumb. "Dragg dat idiot out!" one of them commanded as they dragged out Kenny who was only clad on Boxers to sleep, thankgod i wore singlet to sleep that day. We later found out the cause of our punishment when we reached The General's house. The brick my dear Kenny laid the previous day all collapsed that same night, which almost killed a soldier who was passing-by then. The bricks just collapsed instantly not even that rain poured, so it can be credited to the rain, All thanks to my friend's good handwork. What happened to us that day is story for another generation. That was the day i know my friend Kenny can speak diffrent language at a time, and also the day i know i can provide the whole community with a surplus requirement for their quest for water, with the urine which kept on gushing non stoppable from my prick ... " I no know ooo, make we go check wether Akor prepare something, he no go work today." Akor was a mechanic. "Gee how far na," we hailed Akor as we entered his room. "K-square una welcome." Akor responded from the bed i guess he must be lying since daybreak. "Meeehn... U get anything for house, men dey blush ooo." Kenny speaked. " Me too dey blush, i never eat since afternoon, and i no even get chaa." Akor announced the bad news. "Hian, okay na prepare make we go Palace hotel go ball na." Kenny announced. We waited as Akor prepares, and we head to "PALACE HOTEL" Who knows what awaits us. |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by gunners160(m): 1:19pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
Nice story jst that you do nt finish a scene b4 jumping into another one.For example,u did nt tell us how manage u were able to get out of the church with your thorn trouser.U jst went ahead jumping into anoda scene |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 2:53pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
gunners160:lol... I skipped it, coz there was no sensible event on that part, if began doing dat in every part, it may bore some reader, but i will be completing some, morever tnx for following... Plz invite others to join our sailin boat as we sail on..!!! Tnx for readinq ... |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 11:41pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
-------------continuation------------- " Welcome to Palace Hotel" was inscribed bodly on the noticeboard wich stood at the entrance of the hotel. "Wecome sirs, what can we offer you people?" comes an angelic voice of an epitome of beauty before us on attendant uniform with the letter "palace hotel" inscribed on it. "Eeeerm, we, i will want a hot jollof rice with cold stew." Kenny responded trying to be flawless in his grammars but, it all proves abortive. The lady just smiled and move over to my table asking me what i would like to be offered. "Please i would like to have wheat and bitterleaf soup." I placed my offer. "Sir what about you." She asked Akor who was lost in thought as he is watching half-naked babes digging it out on the dancefloor. "Give me butts." Akor respond absent-mindly. "Pardon?" the lady was confused. "I mean that you should offer me Buns, yeah bread Buns." Akor corrected as he realised his blunder. One thing that i like Akor of, is his brain fastness, he can think fastly in any hard dillema within 5 seconds and dig himself out. "Eeeehen Summarize it all with Three bottles of Orijin beer." Kenny continues his grammar demolition. The lady left for the Hotel's store. "Mehn this girl fine die, i go collect her number if she come back." I opened up. "Normal na i like the babe sef na all of us go share am if she fall." Kenny Jested. "Idiot... Na Nkasi we go share." I jested back. We sits down watching the sexy ladies as they showcase their selling points as we waits for our request. As luck should have it, it was'nt the same girl that took our request that served us, this present one was damn ugly, i was nearly forced to tell her how ugly she is as she continues shaking her dry ass and giving an upleasant wink that she considered sexy herself. "Wetin be this girl wahala self." Akor asked as we laughed. We starts eating our food, why me and Kenny were busy eating our respective meal and diluting it with Orijin, our dear Akor was angrily munching the large chunks of Buns served to him. "Akor na u and pimple go do battle of ownership for your face, after you don chop this buns finish." I teased, and we laughed at our angry friend. After finishing one bottle of Orijin each, we odered another two bottles respectively. After finishing two, two bottles each, i othered two two again and it was served to us. At my first bottle of the two, i started reasoning like immortal. "Shey una know say dog fit fly?" i asked my friends and they laughed at me. We where on our last bottles of the twos, when all of a sudden something clouded our brains and sense of sanity. "Guys see Rihanna for dancing floor." i shouted showing my friends the imaginary Rihanna, am really seeing Rihanna, or have my eyes and braing goes blur? "Na lie, no be Rihanna, na Nicki Minaj." Akor Agured. "Two of una dey mad ooo, no be Beyonce una dey call Nicki?" Kenny confused us more. We continues dragging it until we finally concluded that it might be Angelina Jolie. "Guy where u dey go?" We asked Akor, who suddenly stood up. "I dey go make, i go meet my babe for dancefloor." He responded pointing at someone who he beleives to be his girl. "Okay na, we dey wait here, abeg do fast make we go morning don do." Kenny baffled me, as i checked my wrist watch and finds out that it's 9:30pm. We sits watching Akor as he reached his imaginary girlfriend, as foolish as he is, he tries squeezing the lady's ass and. "Wai...!" the lady have gave Akor a cute slap. "You slapped me." Akor asked stupid question. "I will do that 100 time more, you bastard, how dare you squeeze my ass, without paying. Before i could say Usain Bolt, they have started fighting. "Yes e good make Akor beat that idiot wey no get respect." I thoughted. But i got it askew, before i could say David Beckham, the girl have thrown Drunk Akor on the ground, and was ontop of him giving him some, Kunfu customised punches. Akor was later rescued by the security men. The whole play was in-order as we led our dear friend Akor home. "Kutty where you dey go na? We don reach home ooo." Kenny blurted from my behind. "U well so? Who tell you say we don reach? Abeg our house still dey for front." I challenged. We kept on moving foward, stopping at some house, guessing wether it was our home. We later appeared before one place which we all agreed to be our home, we all layed down to catch some sleeps. Could that be our actuall home or not? Find out in next update wich will drop after i have got my desire numbers of comments. |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by gunners160(m): 9:00am On Jun 13, 2015 |
Since yesterday after breaking up with my gal,I could nt smile nor cry.My whole world seems upside down nd all I jst needed was something to make me happy nd kip going bt behold I kame across dis ur nice nd funny story and since then I have been laughing,lauging laughn nd even 4got abt my gal. 1 Like |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 1:23pm On Jun 13, 2015 |
Lol... Sowie for the breakup bro, guess it was'nt your fault... Anyway prepare to laugh like a mad man, coz more is still coming jux invite other readers to this thread and always comment... Then you have fueled my enging of updating... gunners160: |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 7:40pm On Jun 15, 2015 |
"Babe what do you want to take?" I quired. "I would like to take any soft drink with Nkwobi." She responded. " I have nothing to worry about, since am going to take back all the thing that night" "Barman!" I called in deep voice, (that kind voice Pete Edochie of nollywood uses in commanding guards in movie whenever he plays King's role). Ofcourse am a king, i looked outside to see my packed Hummer 1 jeep, with the plait number customised as "NIGERIA FIRST SON KUTTY " and smiled, who say money no good. "Eeeerm... Oga, na wetin i go serve una". The thin Bartender quired. "Get my babe here any qaulity soft drink ranging from price of 10k upwards with two plates of Nkwobi, then serve me Rozay with one plate of Nkwobi." I placed our order. "Consider it done." Said the bartender as he oozed off. "Babe, are you okay with one plate of Nkwobi?" My New-catch asked as if she is the one funding the bill. "Yes, am okay with that." In a split of a second, the bartender was on our table with our order, he was indeed feeling so happy to get such amount at only morning. I started battling with my Nkwobi and Rozay, imagining what will take place for the rest of the day. I looked up to see my babe, digging it out with her two plates of Nkwobi and Rozay. I take my eyes to he Manchester(Bossom). "Mehn... This girl get am ooo... Today na today."I thoughted. I instantly began singing "Today na Today by Sym19." We where still on the middle of our meal, when all of a sudden... "Paaaa! Kutty wake up, Na Poultry house we slept ooo, see as u just dey busy dey Munch Fowl shit." Kenny Alerted. I woke up instantly to found out that we mistakenly slept at one Mr.Eke poultry's house wich is located at the extreme of our street. It happened that they supplied all their grown Fowls to the marketers, and are yet to convey the tender ones from cage to the main house, the actually left the door open in-order for air to penertrate inside so as to decrease the odour, before they do the actuall cleaning. Our dear Orijin, directed us to the place as our home and gives us heaps of fowl's defecates to lie on. But why me? Why do i alway like eating in dream? Why must my delicious dish at dream being interpreted as Fowls Defecates in reality? " Chai i don die, na correct thunder go fire those company wey dey produce Orijin." I cried bitterly. Kenny and Just-woken Akor pitied me, but there is actually nothing they can do to help me, they make sure they maintain distance space in-order not to be killed from the odour emanating from my mouth, as we left the poultry house to our home. KUTTY... SOWIE FOR DELAYED UPDATE, PLEASE FANS PRAY FOR ME AM IN A TIGHT CORNER NOW, I JUST PRAY THE LORD DELIVERS ME, PLZ IS NOT JUST ONLINE PRAYING, ALWAYS REMEMBER ME IN UR DAILY PRAYERS. THANKS AND GOD BLESS Y'ALL FROM..: PRESLEY KU'TTY |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 11:13am On Jun 16, 2015 |
"Kutty you dey go somewhere today?" Kenny asked one saturday morning after our breakfast of Garri and Maggi. Yes, you heard me right, we used Maggi in soaking Garri. Not just every Maggi but white Maggi by "Ajinomoto" Producing company, it taste great anyway, you can proof it by trying it out yourselve. "No, i don't think so." I responded. "Okay na, make we contribute money buy food stuffs, Nkasi would be coming to cook for us." Kenny Informed. "Okay na, na how much we go contribute?" i quired. "Make we contribute #500 each, e go fit draw better soup for us." Kenny suggested. "Okay na, no problem see my own." i said handing over one pair of #500 note. "Okay, see my own too, i have called her, she is on her way now."Kenny informed. "Ebe like say heat dey this room well, well, make we go that Guava tree go sit down na." I suggested. We left for the Guava tree wich stood at the western side of our house, waiting for Nkasi to arrive. We broke off into discussion, or rather argument as it would always be when staunch Man utd fan and Chelsea are together. "Hazard better pass Di Maria." Kenny said. "Na lie, Di Maria pass am, if you wan rate Hazard, rate am with Januzaj and co." I challenged. The argument is now turning gradually to something else. "Van gaal na old inexperienced coach." Kenny mocked. "Hahahaha see u, Mounriho wey don be mad man nko?" I mocked back. "Eeeerm... Kutty e don do, how u go dey abuse Mounrinho, no try such thing again." Kenny said, a dim of anger in his eyes. "You dey craze, Mounriho dey insale and his insality is appealed to all chelsea fans." I commited high atrocity of grammarian blundering. The argument was a kind of resulting into something ugly, it was actually resulting to a fight, what i was actually thinking at that time was who is actually goin to seperate us if it finnally results to war to the fact that majority of all our yardmates have all lefted to there various daily hustling execpt only one Amebo woman called Kate. Who i know fully well that she wan't bother seperating us if she enventually sees us fighting owing to the fact that we are great enemy to her, don't ask me why. Knowing fully well that Kenny is stronger than me, albeit it was'nt scientifically proven.(yes, scientifically proved by our friends, but i have already experienced the phenomenom.) i and Kenny did only foughted once, that was back then at Our secondary school days, It was one hot afternoon after school recreation. I was walking towards our school canteen to buy Akara since i did'nt wait to take breakfast that morning. I was almost approaching the canteen when Kenny from nowhere jokingly snatched the money that am holding from my palm and runs away. "Kenny give me that mone." "Kenny i don kill you today if i catch you." I shouted as i gave him a hard chase Kenny was still running and laughing when all of a sudden. "Gbuuum!" he slipped landed on the floor after stepping on a Banana peel. Instead of pitiying him, i instantly pounced on him and started giving him punches that i later considered as weak punches. Was still on him when all of a sudden like "John Cena" of wwe he rotated. Befor i could say "P Square" Kenny was on top of me, what happened that day was a horror story for another day. That was the day i agreed that Stars are actually uncountable. "Eeeehn if i call mounriho name na wetin u go do me, Mounrinho na your papa," I never wanted to accept defeat. "Oya abuse Mounrinho again." Kenny was alredy up. I was about to do otherwise when heard a a voice that sounded like worn out generator behind me the voice i considered as the voice of the saviour at the present condition. "Hi boys, what is the problem? Why are you two shouting this early morning?" Comes the voice of Nkasi. "Eeeerm... We no dey shout we just they recite some of Terry G punchlines on track "Free Madness." Kenny dropped the lie of the century. Ofcourse we are going mad, free one indeed, after welcoming Nkasi, Kenny handed the 1k to her so as for her to go and get items needed. He asked Kenny to escort her to the Market which he reluctantly obliged. "Kutty, you go follow us go." Kenny offered. "For sure, e don tey wey i touch town self." "Okay prepare make we go na." i putted on my chillux trouser and white shirt, and off we go. |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by jeremie97(m): 5:50pm On Jun 16, 2015 |
omo u de kill me with ur story keep it up just cross check ur work before posting especially ur spelling....ur story make sense die |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by jeremie97(m): 5:52pm On Jun 16, 2015 |
omo u de kill me with ur story keep it up just cross check ur work before posting especially ur spelling....ur story make sense die..m currently writing exam bt I just cnt help it I hve to login to read ur story abeg do update o |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 6:12pm On Jun 16, 2015 |
jeremie97:tnx for followinq... Plz do invite others, is only ur comment that gives me morale to update... Morever, Goodluck on ya exam. |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by gunners160(m): 7:09pm On Jun 16, 2015 |
Nyc 1 more update pls |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 7:41am On Jun 17, 2015 |
You will get it dear... gunners160: |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 2:15pm On Jun 17, 2015 |
"Ssssss... Ssssss... Okada." Kenny flagged down Commercial motorcyclist. We have decided to board only one bike for the journey, since we could'nt raise enough money to board two. "Eeeehen, where i dey gwo?" The man i suppose to be a northerner quired, shining his red designed teeth. "Thunder fire you, na me go tell you where you dey go." I dare not say it out. "We wan go Nkpor Market" Kenny responded. "Na three i dey climb am por one okwada?"(for foriegners, are you all boarding one bike?) the northerner asked. "Yes na three of us." Kenny replied. "Okay, no frovlem, vring am por one pipty."(No problem, you have to pay #150). "Aboki, na #100 we go pay ooo." Said Kenny. "Aaaah, #100 i small na, add am naira Ashrin, Tonti naira."(add it twenty naira.) We later agreed to give the Notherner Hundrend and Twenty Naira. "Kutty, na you go enter first ooo." Kenny announced. To avoid several argument and time wasting, i just gentlemanly(if there is a word like that) sitted behind the cylist. Nkasi, was to sit at my back, then followed by Kenny, the journey started, and Nkasi have been resting her Heavy weight champion(Bossom) on every blink of seconds, all thanks to the cylist who never cares to slow down where there is a pothole, or where road bumps where constructed. If there is anything i admire about Nkasi, it would be nothing rather than her big water-melon, the nicki minaj type. "Oga, take am easy ooo, see as you just dey jump gallops like James Bond." Kenny complained from the back. "C'mon, you no go shutup, Okada abeg no mind am, just they jump they go." i nearly say. No wonder they say "What ever worries a man may favour another man." "Oga make i no vex, i dey rush am por somewhere now." The Cylist opened his mouth to apologise to Kenny. A mouth i wished he would'nt have opened, it smelt like a toilet suck away, i nearly throw up on the bike. "Oga you no dey brush?" I nearly shout. "The cylist continue his galloping game, As i continue enjoying free current tapping from Nkasi. We where about a kilometer away from the market place, there was this big road bump builted, it was the last bump we were to pass before we reach market, and it was the biggest bump among others. Our James Bond Cylist was just speding without even minding. "Oga take am easy for that bump ooo." Kenny complained, but the bikeman paid deaf ears to his complain. "Gwa Kpraaaa... Gbum!" was the sound i heard when our Jame's Bond flewed over the bump, Nkasi gave out a loud cry, i looked back but to see my dear Kenny sitting on the ground. Then, it all dawned on me that the sound "Gbum..." that i heard some seconds few back was nothing else but my dear Kenny when he landed on ground with a thud. The crazy cylist does'nt even know what is happening, he just continue moving. "Aboki stop...! Some one fall down." I cried out. "Na who pall?" he asked as he matched the break. "You no see our friend for ground." "Ooo... Na when he pall." The crazy cylist asked a foolish question or rather rheotrical question. "Kenny sorry ooo, u hurt?"i delivered another foolish question and at the same time thanking God that am not the one in question. "Obim sorry okay." Nkasi said, as she aid Kenny to stand up. "Oga i sorry ooo" The Cylist apologised. "Sorry for yourself, sorry for your ancestors and Imams" Kenny reigned multiple abuse on the Northerner. "Kai! Mu banka... Na who i dey abuse?" The northerner turn red with anger. "Na you i dey abuse, you rascal!" Kenny toppled his abuse. Oooow... How he wish... "Kai... Na me i dey call rascal? Tor wait por me." the Cylist threated heading to his bike. "Kenny abeg, make we dey go on our own, no talk the okada man again, make he carry im trouble dey go" Nkasi suggested. "Im dey craze e no fit do anythin... Just look at my leg, i no fit waka normal now just because of this bastards." Kenny raged. He was still raging, when all of a suddem we heard. "Lai... Lia... La la, make una just wait por me." The northerner raged, approaching us with a new dagger. "Piiaaam...!" Nkasi have flee like usain bolt. I was still planning on how i will help my injured Kenny to escape as the cyclist kept on approaching... "Fiiiia...!" I raised up my eyes to see the Kenny am pitiying, as he have overtaking Nkasi. "Hian...! Person wey something dey worry for leg again?" I aske no one instantly. What am i waiting for? I just Turn on the ignition of my Legedez Benz and sped off... |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 4:34pm On Jun 17, 2015 |
[b]THER IS ONE THING THAT PAINS ME ABOUT THIS THREAD, HOW CAN PEOPLE BEEN VIEWING THIS THREAD ALMOST EVERY MINUTES, BUT ALL THEY DO IS JUST TO VIEW THE THREAD, READ THE CONTENT UPDATED AND THEN LEAVE WITHOUT BOTHERING TO DROP SINGLE COMMENT. WAIT I CAN'T JUST UNDERSTAND, IS IT THAT THIS STORY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO APPRECIATE OR CRITICISE THE AUTHOR. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DONATE LITTLE TIME THAT WOULD'NT EVEN TAKE UP TO 30SECONDS TO POST COMMENT? HMMMM... I HAVE STARTED RUNNING OUT OF PACIENT NOW, THIS THREAD NOW HAVE BEEN UPDATED TO 14 EPISODE WITH 700 AND SOMETHING VIEWS, WITHOUT THE TOTAL COMMENT IN IT REACHING ABOUT 20, THE MOST PAINFUL PART OF IT IS THAT EVEN THOSE THAT I INVITED DURING THE THE STARTING OF THE STORY JUST IGNORED MY MENTION, EVEN THOSE THAT AM FOLLOWING THERE THREAD LIKE TWITTER, THEY ALL VIEW MY THREAD AND LEAVE WITHOUT DROPPING ANY SAY. NO PROBLEM SHA, I THINK THE BEST WAY TO RELEIVE THIS STORY IS JUST BY BRINGING IT TO AN END. COZ NO ONE GIVE ME MONEY TO CHARGE MY B3, NO ONE SENDS ME AIRTIME TO RENEW MY SUBSCRIPTION AND I DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, ALL I REQUESTED FOR IS JUST UR COMMENTS, BUT SINCE YOU CANT GRANT ME THAT, THEN I JUST HAVE TO QUITS MAKING YOU LAUGH ALL DAYS, WHENEVER YOU ENTERS MY THREAD. PRESLEY : KUTTY. GRACIAS OBRIGADO[/b] |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Nobody: 5:09pm On Jun 17, 2015 |
[b]Hi, Rounakid. Your last comment wasn't a farce. And I would really love it if you would pick up some things from me. Before any other thing, you should dilineate what precisely is your aim of scribbling. To my little noble self, one could only post on Nairaland for three reasons. 1. For honing your scribbling skill. 2. For pleasure. 3. For making an income. Now if you are a lackey of the first option, you would scribble without paying attention to those issues you seem to find appalling. You would toil to get better with each walking milisecond. You should emend your method of thinking on the issue if you are of this category. But Bro, if you turn out to be here for the other options, I'm sorry I'll have to go point blank with you, you would never get satisfied, I bet. You can't make an income on Nairaland irregarding how well you feel it seems you are connected with others - atleast in the literature section. If you are to read comments and smile you should get better, firstly. Better than Larrysun - a seemingly impossible task - so I guess you should just make do with what you've been getting. Of course each person with his standard. You might have a standard - which appears seemingly high- so you are absolutely free to make a choice. I'll say no more and purse my running mouth. If I offend you with this, I'm contrite - just that I've been terribly bad in being mealy mouthed. And if you want to stop, make your self stop. Let your person stop. Let it go. You wouldn't be cadged if that's what you want. But you could probably go do what you enjoy doing. That is definitely going to ameliorate your seemingly dampen spirit. You wouldn't phantom untill you get better. Maybe you've made a perfect choice, now, it'll belong to you on the morrow. Cheers![/b] |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Jskelly11: 8:37pm On Jun 17, 2015 |
Nice story rounakid Keep it up |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 11:06am On Jun 18, 2015 |
thronekid: Jskelly11: thronekid: |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Rounakid(m): 11:08am On Jun 18, 2015 |
Hmmmm.... --speechless-- thronekid: Jskelly11: thronekid: |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by Nobody: 7:01pm On Jun 18, 2015 |
Rounakid:Why's that? You made a choice. Remember? |
| Re: Kutty And The Ghetto Story By Rounakid (kutty) by SofiaAmrozia(f): 4:18pm On Jun 19, 2015 |
Hi rounakid, nice story you got there. Really hilarious(i know, my mum thinks i'm crazy).Good job. Keep it up. Work on your spelling and tenses. Wrong use makes the story less interesting. |
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