I don't agree with you, friend. Except in specific corporate settings where it is insisted that everyone is referred to by their first name (like at the Hilton hotels) in every other organisation, you call your boss sir or ma. Their refusal to call her ma was an actual act of disrespect. She was their boss. End of story. But a sister-in-law 10 years her junior who will forever remain no more than a guest in HER AND HER HUSBAND'S house demanding some stupid affirmation of elderly respect because someone is married to her brother? Please!

raumdeuter:
Lol. SOme people dont know there are bigger battles in life than small ego trips

A small story.

========================================================================
One of my uncles told us a story
2 friends John and Fred got a job in a bank in the 90's after they had worked in many other organisations

It now happened that one of their junior in school was the Head of their department. Like they was in final yr when the girl was in year 2 one of his coursemates babes those yrs

Later she insisted everyone in the dept call her "Ma". Both guys were so shocked and insisted they wont call her Ma

So she staged a drama at the bank

She started calling from her office

John!!

John answered YES.

Fred!!!!

His friend answered YES

Later she told them to wait now started calling other people in the dept

Ade!!! , Ade answered: Yes MA!!, Obi!!! Obi Answered Yes MA!! Steven!! Steven answered Yes MA

She now told both friends to go back out and she recalled them. John just answered even though reluctantly YES MA. Fred his friend refused and insisted on YES

They started a mini silent war. She wrote him up for insubordination gave bad appraisals and finally got Fred fired

over a yr later she was transferred out of the country.

And John today is a top shot at the bank while Fred after his sack only got a teaching job and struggled

Now think about it who lost on the long run

Yorubas usually say something about calling Malu(a cow) brother to allow us pass or call a mad man the groom so he would give us peace

Exactly my point. Just give the insincere eye service respect to her face and call her whatever you like at her back so you won't have to be fighting unnecessary and needless battles

raumdeuter:
Lol. SOme people dont know there are bigger battles in life than small ego trips

A small story.

========================================================================
One of my uncles told us a story
2 friends John and Fred got a job in a bank in the 90's after they had worked in many other organisations

It now happened that one of their junior in school was the Head of their department. Like they was in final yr when the girl was in year 2 one of his coursemates babes those yrs

Later she insisted everyone in the dept call her "Ma". Both guys were so shocked and insisted they wont call her Ma

So she staged a drama at the bank

She started calling from her office

John!!

John answered YES.

Fred!!!!

His friend answered YES

Later she told them to wait now started calling other people in the dept

Ade!!! , Ade answered: Yes MA!!, Obi!!! Obi Answered Yes MA!! Steven!! Steven answered Yes MA

She now told both friends to go back out and she recalled them. John just answered even though reluctantly YES MA. Fred his friend refused and insisted on YES

They started a mini silent war. She wrote him up for insubordination gave bad appraisals and finally got Fred fired

over a yr later she was transferred out of the country.

And John today is a top shot at the bank while Fred after his sack only got a teaching job and struggled

Now think about it who lost on the long run

Yorubas usually say something about calling Malu(a cow) brother to allow us pass or call a mad man the groom so he would give us peace

*sighs* some people like wahala sha..I don't get if 'aunty' 'sister' was added to people's names at their christenings or naming ceremony. .



OP are you yoruba? If you are just, you can get round it by never actually calling her name just use e when referring to her.Or coin a pet name 'sisi b' or 'sisi ile iwe' etc

LewsTherin:
I don't agree with you, friend. Except in specific corporate settings where it is insisted that everyone is referred to by their first name (like at the Hilton hotels) in every other organisation, you call your boss sir or ma. Their refusal to call her ma was an actual act of disrespect. She was their boss. End of story. But a sister-in-law 10 years her junior who will forever remain no more than a guest in HER AND HER HUSBAND'S house demanding some stupid affirmation of elderly respect because someone is married to her brother? Please!

The example I gave in that bank, they have a policy of first name and no MA's and SIRs
In most corporate organisations the rule is go on first name basis. No sir or ma. AT best you say Yes John, Yes Sandra etc but many people have used their best judgment and avoided unnecessary drama

You never face workplace drama before I guess

You can even call her small mummy.



Go away from unnecessary wahala.

@ lews therin you're not calling her the aunty because she deserves it or she's worth it .not even that because you are married to her brother but because you want to avoid ejo oshi. When the chips are down and she goes ranting to the mother about aunty bull sht the mother will definitely take sides with her daughter because she's her daughter. No matter how good you're her daughter will always be her daughter and in the order of priority she'll place you as secondary to her daughter since you're from another family and that's why the yorubas say because another person's child has a bigger ass than your child doesn't mean you will put waist beads on another person's child's waist.



Except where the mother inlaw is a reasonable human being and says you shouldn't call her aunty.but if your mother inlaw didn't say so, if it's aunty your sister in law wants to eat then give it to her

raumdeuter:


In most corporate organisations the rule is go on first name basis. No sir or ma. AT best you say Yes John, Yes Sandra etc but many people have used their best judgment and avoided unnecessary drama

There is a top law firm where even though the culture is first name there is an unwritten code that you must respect anyone senior to you even if you are older.

You never face workplace drama before I guess

You will be surprised the drama I faced.

Besides, in all the organisations I worked in before setting out on my own, the rule was sirs and ma'ams. Bending the rule was allowed only wgere yoy called the person by their job title, Mr/Mrs or (to terrible to contemplate) aunty

Like I said, I still don't agree with you. In th OPs case, the stage is just being set for a thorough in-law crucifixion.

There is a difference between doing eye-service to maintain civility and denigrating oneself just to gain acceptance. The loss of one's self respect is the worst thing a person can face or be put through.

Self-respect, not pride. Different things

SAMBARRY:



Except where the mother inlaw is a reasonable human being and says you shouldn't call her aunty.but if your mother inlaw didn't say so, if it's aunty your sister in law wants to eat then give it to her

True,

Or one can find a different option of seeming to give her her desire while not eating her shite.

When I found myself in a similar situation with an older cousin, I skipped it all by calling her Mrs Elder-Cousin. She was forced to accept that as anything else would make her look very obviously childish.

Exactly what I told her. She should find a nick name for her if she is not comfortable with calling her aunty

LewsTherin:


True,

Or one can find a different option of seeming to give her her desire while not eating her shite.

When I found myself in a similar situation with an older cousin, I skipped it all by calling her Mrs Elder-Cousin. She was forced to accept that as anything else would make her look very obviously childish.

People don't realise a husband and wife should be one and that oneness goes against the selfish nature of the human beings that are already in their lives.

I know a MIL who is still antagonizing her son's wife 13 years later and it gets worse every time her hubby defends her. The hubby is getting tired to settling fight between 2 women he loves. The MIL is expending extra energy to try spread bad blood between wife and all the in-laws. If you start calling the MIL a bad woman, you will realise that she's a prayerful deacon who likes to act like an angel publicly to the whole world.

Identify the problems in your life, people that look like the matches that will set your marriage aflame if you let them. I'd rather spend this time studying them and letting them be total jerks and letting them think they've won and the day I truly need to defeat them, I will swiftly stand and deal with them, than to be fighting cat-and-mouse squabbles and be constantly made to look bad and quarrelsome. In the eyes of your in-laws, they knew those people first and have gotten used to their madness and idiosyncrasies and will make excuses for their bad behaviour. You are the new stranger that they are trying to figure out.

Gbam!

LewsTherin:


True,

Or one can find a different option of seeming to give her her desire while not eating her shite.

When I found myself in a similar situation with an older cousin, I skipped it all by calling her Mrs Elder-Cousin. She was forced to accept that as anything else would make her look very obviously childish.

It really doesn't mean anything just call her aunty ok, and seriously if u are a Yoruba lady u will be use to calling even the youngest of ur inlaws aunty lol so just call her ok for peace and the luv u hav for your hubby.

Op seriously there's no biggie in this issue. That's yoruba culture for u. Am sure ur MIL has not bluntly warned u publicly to call a year old baby "Brother". Some believed as long as u were not at their christening, u have to call them aunty or brother. Even if they're one month old. Pls, call her aunty and let peace reign, better still call her nick name eg last born, ebony etc like myself i call Sister In Law IBK.

Hmm I would find it very hard to call someone I'm 20 years older than anty, OP I dunno what to tell you. In my family aunty and uncle is strictly by age, we are very easy going.

How can u feel comfortable with someone 10 years older than you calling you aunty, ridiculous

teekay213:
omo na olden dayz things o,this is 2015.how many wives dey call their sil ''aunty" again.

be smart and just call her aunty, you will not lose an eye or grow a pimple.

My golden rule with in- laws is that I don't start what I cannot finish. Before marriage and during first year of marriage is when you let everybody both husband and in laws know what you can and cannot accept. It may cause some trouble then but at least they know and with time everybody will accept things the way they are and peace will return. Picking your battles is good but if people in the name of in law bring battles that should not be there in the first place, my advice is fight it. If you leave it, it gets worse and by the time you realise that the small battle is now big and you are ready to fight it, it may become very difficult as it is now the accepted lifestyle.

I will not call someone younger than me Aunty. If my in laws make that a battle, I will fight it.

LewsTherin:


You will be surprised the drama I faced.

Besides, in all the organisations I worked in before setting out on my own, the rule was sirs and ma'ams. Bending the rule was allowed only wgere yoy called the person by their job title, Mr/Mrs or (to terrible to contemplate) aunty

Like I said, I still don't agree with you. In th OPs case, the stage is just being set for a thorough in-law crucifixion.

There is a difference between doing eye-service to maintain civility and denigrating oneself just to gain acceptance. The loss of one's self respect is the worst thing a person can face or be put through.

Self-respect, not pride. Different things

exactly

Before we make it a women's thing, I don't know any man that can comfortably call a younger brother-in-law sir or uncle so that his wife's family will like him.

cococandy:
Before we make it a women's thing, I don't know any man that can comfortably call a younger brother-in-law sir or uncle so that his wife's family will like him.

Yoruba culture clearly spelt it out for women that are married in the family.

Abeg OP e be like say u like trouble too. Its a Yoruba "thing", though not all families really cares about the brother/sister ish but all families expects the wives to respect the brother-inlaws and sister-inlaws. The way each family expresses theirs is different. Lemme tell u a small story.

My cousin got married to a lawyer. Though we didnt like her cos of her bossy attitude. She calls all the junior inlaws by name without anyone battling an eye. But she overdid it (details is much so lets skip that), then the MIL called a family meeting on her and warned her from that day not to call anyone by name again since she took advantage of the situation. Then she started calling us brother and sister but when elderly ones are not there, she will call us by our names, no brotehr or aunty. We just simply ignored it and moved on, never reported her. Not like its important to us so far she didnt pass her boundary.

Now the moral is that do it to stop a little disagreement turn to a huge fight.U dont have to call her aunty, find a nickname for her like "sisimi", trust me she will like it. Ignore those saying you shouldnt do it. A Yoruba woman/man wont advise you to do that cos they know the intensity of the issue. Good day

raumdeuter:
Lol. SOme people dont know there are bigger battles in life than small ego trips

A small story.

========================================================================
One of my uncles told us a story
2 friends John and Fred got a job in a bank in the 90's after they had worked in many other organisations

It now happened that one of their junior in school was the Head of their department. Like they was in final yr when the girl was in year 2 one of his coursemates babes those yrs

Later she insisted everyone in the dept call her "Ma". Both guys were so shocked and insisted they wont call her Ma

So she staged a drama at the bank

She started calling from her office

John!!

John answered YES.

Fred!!!!

His friend answered YES

Later she told them to wait now started calling other people in the dept

Ade!!! , Ade answered: Yes MA!!, Obi!!! Obi Answered Yes MA!! Steven!! Steven answered Yes MA

She now told both friends to go back out and she recalled them. John just answered even though reluctantly YES MA. Fred his friend refused and insisted on YES

They started a mini silent war. She wrote him up for insubordination gave bad appraisals and finally got Fred fired

over a yr later she was transferred out of the country.

And John today is a top shot at the bank while Fred after his sack only got a teaching job and struggled

Now think about it who lost on the long run

Yorubas usually say something about calling Malu(a cow) brother to allow us pass or call a mad man the groom so he would give us peace

Dumb story for ppl with little or no self esteem.
The lady is ur boss in the office and pays ur salary, so you have to give some respect. Even at that, you don't call her aunty for any reason, just 'ma'. And that doesn't stop her from also giving some respect in return if she has some reasoning.

LewsTherin:
I don't agree with you, friend. Except in specific corporate settings where it is insisted that everyone is referred to by their first name (like at the Hilton hotels) in every other organisation, you call your boss sir or ma. Their refusal to call her ma was an actual act of disrespect. She was their boss. End of story. But a sister-in-law 10 years her junior who will forever remain no more than a guest in HER AND HER HUSBAND'S house demanding some stupid affirmation of elderly respect because someone is married to her brother? Please!

Exactly my point.

olu4life:

Yoruba culture clearly spelt it out for women that are married in the family.

Abeg OP e be like say u like trouble too. Its a Yoruba "thing", though not all families really cares about the brother/sister ish but all families expects the wives to respect the brother-inlaws and sister-inlaws. The way each family expresses theirs is different. Lemme tell u a small story.

My cousin got married to a lawyer. Though we didnt like her cos of her bossy attitude. She calls all the junior inlaws by name without anyone battling an eye. But she overdid it (details is much so lets skip that), then the MIL called a family meeting on her and warned her from that day not to call anyone by name again since she took advantage of the situation. Then she started calling us brother and sister but when elderly ones are not there, she will call us by our names, no brotehr or aunty. We just simply ignored it and moved on, never reported her. Not like its important to us so far she didnt pass her boundary.

Now the moral is that do it to stop a little disagreement turn to a huge fight.U dont have to call her aunty, find a nickname for her like "sisimi", trust me she will like it. Ignore those saying you shouldnt do it. A Yoruba woman/man wont advise you to do that cos they know the intensity of the issue. Good day

Whatever

As a Man... He never calls my brothers by their names. Younger ones included. (Yes he's well trained )

Yes it's our culture. It sounds weird just as other tribe's traditional practice such as ridiculous bride price , is.

OP I have no advice for you. Do as you please.

your home, your cross.

In my honest opinion. Please do not start what you cant finish

After this thesis, what's the conclusion of the whole matter

BTW, the workplace is more objective than the family. Very formal organisations insist on 1st name basis for addressing people. This doesn't still evade the respect element.

Onegai:


It is not about any bloody culture. Most likely something else happened to annoy them, the MIL is siding with her SIL and they saw this opportunity to look for a way to start a fight and cause some humiliation and small drama with the wife. They don't give 2 Shi.ts about the culture. That is why we are telling her to do it. My sister going to do this to my SIL is not doing it on my behalf, it's because the babe pissed her off and she saw an opportunity to deal with her small.

If this was your office and your boss was younger than you and was looking to score some cheap points to annoy you, will you carry your battle flag and call for a war (that even if you win, will cause additional wahala down the line for you, in other words a Pyhrric victory) or will you give yourself brain, neatly sidestep, play the fool and lose the battle and then later on win the war?

one of my SILs is over 10 years younger than me (Chei I'm old o ) and the babe is such an awkward not polite young woman. I took it up with my hubby and the fight it started that night was not it. Over a small girl whom I have seen not upto 10 times in my life and won't even see her more sef. I realised that instead of spending energy dwelling on crap, I'd rather fight my hubby over important matters such as financial planning, buying a home and where our kids are going to school (things that concern me).

Seriously what is important here? They should make warfare planning a required lesson in marital class.

This is a Yoruba custom
Like most things when it comes to culture, some people/families follow it to a T and some are rather relaxed about it.

Anyone marrying into a different culture should investigate the type of family they are marrying into so you know the score. You dont just marry your husband, unless you both intend to live on the North pole and have no intereactions with them.

I come from a very laid back family and I call my mum by her first name or her nickname but I dont expect all families to be like that. My daughter sef I call madam.

Most of my younger inlaws have their own funky nicknames which I gave them and they love and other older family members call them by these nicknames too. The names have stuck

They all too call me "aunty". We all respect each other.

On a serious note, anything that will cause strife in the home and is not really worth it, then I stay clear of. There are other much more important things to deal with that I need energy for.

I have inlaws (married into my family) that are much older than me that call me aunty or a nickname and when I see them, anything in my bag or even the whole bag sef i hand over to them. Its not that they cant afford the bag. Won yo si iya oko won lorun. (They are only "enjoying" their inlaws" ) if we meet at party, its my sunglasses that go first
I do same to my SIL. Her geles in my wardrobe no get part 2. I didnt know that there were so many shades of gold

Life is too short for unneccessasy stress IMO. I refuse to have a headache and end up having to drink panadol for something that can be avoided. Thats my own perspective to life.

olu4life:

Yoruba culture clearly spelt it out for women that are married in the family.

Abeg OP e be like say u like trouble too. Its a Yoruba "thing", though not all families really cares about the brother/sister ish but all families expects the wives to respect the brother-inlaws and sister-inlaws. The way each family expresses theirs is different. Lemme tell u a small story.

My cousin got married to a lawyer. Though we didnt like her cos of her bossy attitude. She calls all the junior inlaws by name without anyone battling an eye. But she overdid it (details is much so lets skip that), then the MIL called a family meeting on her and warned her from that day not to call anyone by name again since she took advantage of the situation. Then she started calling us brother and sister but when elderly ones are not there, she will call us by our names, no brotehr or aunty. We just simply ignored it and moved on, never reported her. Not like its important to us so far she didnt pass her boundary.

Now the moral is that do it to stop a little disagreement turn to a huge fight.U dont have to call her aunty, find a nickname for her like "sisimi", trust me she will like it. Ignore those saying you shouldnt do it. A Yoruba woman/man wont advise you to do that cos they know the intensity of the issue. Good day

What intensity of the issue?? Na wetin dey kill us yorubas b dt...our hypocrisy stinks more dan persin wey dey sell fish...weda someone calls you aunty or sister or uncle o they are still gonna disrespect you simple....we shud learn to command respect without enforcing it...I think the young lady in question is married to a myopic woman dt instilled dsame backward trad on her young daughter who's also gonna get married...and for someone dt arrogant I doubt if she's gonna extend dt same courtesy to her own inlaws...I can't even try dt kinda shit wif my brother's wife or uncle's who are older dan I am...mumcy will just be like yua dt idle nw to have d energy to fight petty things...na to slap me or call family meeting on my rudeness...dose are yorubas born and bred.

Point is the enlightened yorubas know wen to ditch some bullshit dt are part of the so called culture while the ever myopic ones will fight for it. Young lady the day you call your sil aunty is the beginning of when she's gonna pour shit on ur face...simple!! Already told u to adopt a nickname but as for aunty she can shove it up her ass as for me if I were in ur shoes oshiko ara ata ma ra iru

fem29:
Hmm I would find it very hard to call someone I'm 20 years older than anty, OP I dunno what to tell you. In my family aunty and uncle is strictly by age, we are very easy going.

How can u feel comfortable with someone 10 years older than you calling you aunty, ridiculous

I don't get it either.. But diff strokes.

Me and my mum always argue about all the Aunty sister,mummy ish.Yesterday she still had a go at me for allowing my kids call them hubby's first born 'aunty' instead of 'big Aunty mummy' I told all my uncles,big cousins wives to call me by name.When I had my daughter some switched to calling me 'mummy n' but at that sef I actually don't mind them calling me my name.its sha my name.

I guess we are all diff sha.I sha know 'Aunty' 'uncle 'is not necessarily respect. One of my friends wanted to wash an older cousin and said 'Aunty se ori yin pe sha Eyin te dagba ti e danu yii' (can't translate someone help )

In my mind am thinking you should have kuku skipped the 'e' and gone straight to 'o'

lovaleenny:


What intensity of the issue?? Na wetin dey kill us yorubas b dt...our hypocrisy stinks more dan persin wey dey sell fish...weda someone calls you aunty or sister or uncle o they are still gonna disrespect you simple....we shud learn to command respect without enforcing it...I think the young lady in question is married to a myopic woman dt instilled dsame backward trad on her young daughter who's also gonna get married...and for someone dt arrogant I doubt if she's gonna extend dt same courtesy to her own inlaws...I can't even try dt kinda shit wif my brother's wife or uncle's who are older dan I am...mumcy will just be like yua dt idle nw to have d energy to fight petty things...na to slap me or call family meeting on my rudeness...dose are yorubas born and bred.

Point is the enlightened yorubas know wen to ditch some bullshit dt are part of the so called culture while the ever myopic ones will fight for it. Young lady the day you call your sil aunty is the beginning of when she's gonna pour shit on ur face...simple!! Already told u to adopt a nickname but as for aunty she can shove it up her ass as for me if I were in ur shoes oshiko ara ata ma ra iru

We just said the same thing. Family differs. No "aunty" but rather find a nick. And how are we even sure OP sef no get her own wahala for the lady to have insisted for it We just judging from one side of the story. Give her a nick and let it go. We both know this can lead to major crisis if not properly handled.
If u like, no hear word, like ewuro said its ur cross. I dont kno what it will take from u?! Let some peeps here mislead u, I even guess u are not yoruba cos this ought not to be an issue. As for the said SIL, she will be surely repaid with her own coins. Una turn trivial issue to mega one. Na me go first attack u if u come back here and start ranting about ur MIL & SIL (bad combo)

damiso:


I don't get it either.. But diff strokes.

Me and my mum always argue about all the Aunty sister,mummy ish.Yesterday she still had a go at me for allowing my kids call them hubby's first born 'aunty' instead of 'big Aunty mummy' I told all my uncles,big cousins wives to call me by name.When I had my daughter some switched to calling me 'mummy n' but at that sef I actually don't mind them calling me my name.its sha my name.

I guess we are all diff sha.I sha know 'Aunty' 'uncle 'is not necessarily respect. One of my friends wanted to wash an older cousin and said 'Aunty se ori yin pe sha Eyin te dagba ti e danu yii' (can't translate someone help )

In my mind am thinking you should have kuku skipped the 'e' and gone straight to 'o'

Big aunty mummy ke . . . . Thats so funny
maybe its me though. I just find many things funny rather than the other side

I think kids are the ones who make most sense. You see the way they roll their eyes when they get inroduced to their 356th cousin. (who is actually a family friends to the second generations son)

We were at an engagement 2 weeks ago and part of the eru iyawo was a box of plates
My daughter had been whinging all through the ceremony saying it was boring
Anyway there werent enough plates to serve food
My daughter said, why dont they just pick the plates from thr eru iyawo . . . its not as if the bride doesnt have plates at home and the plates are needed here to serve food.
I told her to shhhhhhhhhhhhh . . oya go and play with your friends

I

tearoses:


Big aunty mummy ke . . . . Thats so funny
maybe its me though. I just find many things funny rather than the other side

I think kids are the ones who make most sense. You see the way they roll their eyes when they get inroduced to their 356th cousin. (who is actually a family friends to the second generations son)

We were at an engagement 2 weeks ago and part of the eru iyawo was a box of plates
My daughter had been whinging all through the ceremony saying it was boring
Anyway there werent enough plates to serve food
My daughter said, why dont they just pick the plates from thr eru iyawo . . . its not as if the bride doesnt have plates at home and the plates are needed here to serve food.
I told her to shhhhhhhhhhhhh . . oya go and play with your friends

I love your daughter practical gal.

I meant big mummy/big aunty my sis in law is very laid back and even mandated no one calls her mummy anything that she is Aunty. My mums rationale is that she is really older than hubby and I so how can she be calling my younger sister 'Aunty' and then calling someone that is like the mother of the family on hubby's side 'Aunty' too? My mum can be very hilarious with customs ;Dshe is always calling my siblings rude as we still call each other by name.But these days sometimes our youngest says sis (sometimes).Funny enough even though they call me by name I know they hold me in such high regard.

Are you not yoruba ni? You ought to have known all these before you got married to their son.
It is a normal thing here and I dunno why you are suddenly surprised about calling your little sister in law AUNT.
This act as been going on for ages. I have women old enough to be my grandmother call me that, not because of anything else but because they see me as their small mother/sister in law. Will it make them any lesser? Remove a strand of hair from their head? Make their nearer to their grave? NO!!!
These older women have seen it all and it's no longer a big deal to them. And that is why have been saying that to avoid fight with husband family in the future try enough to get to know them very well, even in the early start of the relationship, if u had known you'd be asked to call a girl younger than your sister AUNTY In the first place am sure u might have said no to the marriage proposal.
For the sake of peace in your home, u better start calling her that and dnt follow the advice of some so called feminist here that are ready to spoil others marriage.
You can call her name when she isn't there, but pls add the AUNTY when she is around. It will not reduce your phd certificate to waec.

babygirlfl:
My golden rule with in- laws is that I don't start what I cannot finish. Before marriage and during first year of marriage is when you let everybody both husband and in laws know what you can and cannot accept. It may cause some trouble then but at least they know and with time everybody will accept things the way they are and peace will return. Picking your battles is good but if people in the name of in law bring battles that should not be there in the first place, my advice is fight it. If you leave it, it gets worse and by the time you realise that the small battle is now big and you are ready to fight it, it may become very difficult as it is now the accepted lifestyle.

I will not call someone younger than me Aunty. If my in laws make that a battle, I will fight it.

Nobody is forcing you to get married into a typical yoruba family