classicB:


Nobody is forcing you to get married into a typical yoruba family

Learn how to write your opinion without attacking other people. This is a forum and everybody is allowed to have an opinion. Give your opinion and leave other people alone. Very soon some people will say feminists always attack non- feminists but again and again all I see is non feminists who keep talking about feminists and even attacking them.

babygirlfl:


Learn how to write your opinion without attacking other people. This is a forum and everybody is allowed to have an opinion. Give your opinion and leave other people alone. Very soon some people will say feminists always attack non- feminists but again and again all I see is non feminists who keep talking about feminists and even attacking them.

I ain't attacking nobody. I just gave you my own opinion

classicB:
Are you not yoruba ni? You ought to have known all these before you got married to their son.
It is a normal thing here and I dunno why you are suddenly surprised about calling your little sister in law AUNT.
This act as been going on for ages. I have women old enough to be my grandmother call me that, not because of anything else but because they see me as their small mother/sister in law. Will it make them any lesser? Remove a strand of hair from their head? Make their nearer to their grave? NO!!!
These older women have seen it all and it's no longer a big deal to them. And that is why have been saying that to avoid fight with husband family in the future try enough to get to know them very well, even in the early start of the relationship, if u had known you'd be asked to call a girl younger than your sister AUNTY In the first place am sure u might have said no to the marriage proposal.
For the sake of peace in your home, u better start calling her that and dnt follow the advice of some so called feminist here that are ready to spoil others marriage.
You can call her name when she isn't there, but pls add the AUNTY when she is around. It will not reduce your phd certificate to waec.

I thought feminism is men = women are equal so not a woman woman thing?

Are the men who commented against it also feminists?

What has feminism got to do with 'I can't call someone 10 years younger than me Aunty'?

As it occurred to you that it is more of cultural and people (men, women, non-feminists, feminists) who are not Yorubas will find it awkward?

Did it actually occur to you that everyone who as said she should do so sited Yoruba culture and are Yorubas?

Calm down next time.

@OP:

Like a lot of Yorubas here have said, it is a Archaic Yoruba thingy. Most progressive Yorubas have ditched it.

You could give her a nick name...

I cannot imagine calling someone younger by 10 years Aunty and luckily, my youngest direct in-law is 9years older.

Old idea which some people still cherish. Since your MIL considers it important, call her whatever she wants and have peace in your home. Your husband won't be able to do much when the wahala starts. A word is enough for the wise dear sister.

damiso:
[/b]

I don't get it either.. But diff strokes.

Me and my mum always argue about all the Aunty sister,mummy ish.Yesterday she still had a go at me for allowing my kids call them hubby's first born 'aunty' instead of 'big Aunty mummy' I told all my uncles,big cousins wives to call me by name.When I had my daughter some switched to calling me 'mummy n' but at that sef I actually don't mind them calling me my name.its sha my name.

I guess we are all diff sha.I sha know 'Aunty' 'uncle 'is not necessarily respect. One of my friends wanted to wash an older cousin and said 'Aunty se ori yin pe sha Eyin te dagba ti e danu yii' (can't translate someone help )

In my mind am thinking you should have kuku skipped the 'e' and gone straight to 'o'

These are even family. When i was in Uni, i went to the security post to report lost wallet with personal items. Met one man(yoruba), at most (guessed from facial construct) mid thirties.

I had said, 'Good morning.'
He replied saying, 'you can't even add sir. You should call me DADDY!'

Lol,this is the smallest issue one can deal with,it is culture and to avoid unnecessary arguments,just call her whatever she likes and move on with your life.
That you use 'e' for her doesn't mean you can't send her errands or ask her to do house chores. The way you carry yourself will determine how much she will respect you.

teekay213:
I heard this from a friend and want to know your opinion Most yorubas in the house will understand what am saying when you call your brother-in law “brother so so” or sister-in-law “sister so so” as a sign of respect even when you are much older than them.
My husband and i have been married for some years now and he has one sister that happens to be his only sibbling from his parent.she came to stay with us after she finished her school in ghana. when we were living together i notice that she behaves somehow whenever i speak to her using “o”(that’s the inferior singular)unlike “e”(superior singular you use when speaking to an elder or respected person).later my mother-in-law came to spend some weeks with us and right in my present she was ranting that she will not take it if i can’t call her “aunty” while she walked away and to my greatest shock my mil supported her,saying she’s my little mother in law(iya oko)but i told her my youngest brother is not her mate which am 10years older than,i didn’t say it in a rude or disrespectful way,since then my mil has been behaving somehow not picking my calls.i told my husband about it but didn’t take it seriously.
My question now is,who do you support?and to the ladies in the house will you call your brother or sister-in-law bro or aunty even when you are older than them?

Aunty ko, panti ni.

I guess you (your friend) married from "local" family. I am Yoruba and my wife doesn't call my younger sister "aunty" even though there is just about 5-year gap between them.

She can call her "Sisi mi" just to oil her ego though.

Nonsense!

bukatyne:


I thought feminism is men = women are equal so not a woman woman thing?

Are the men who commented against it also feminists?

What has feminism got to do with 'I can't call someone 10 years younger than me Aunty'?

As it occurred to you that it is more of cultural and people (men, women, non-feminists, feminists) who are not Yorubas will find it awkward?

Did it actually occur to you that everyone who as said she should do so sited Yoruba culture and are Yorubas?

Calm down next time.

Thanks for correcting me, i should have said 'dnt allow these people that knows nothing about the culture destroy your marriage'

PassingShot:

Aunty ko, panti ni.

I guess you (your friend) married from "local" family. I am Yoruba and my wife doesn't call my younger sister "aunty" even though there is just about 5-year gap between them.

She can call her "Sisi mi" just to oil her ego though.

Nonsense!

Its not nonsense o(ok, maybe it is). The yorubas put some kind of specila ranking on greetings and my landlord recently gave me a quit notice simply because me and my wife stop greeting he and his wife. Truly though, its mostly local yorubas that exhibit this trait.

My advice is, call her aunty and let peace rain. There a lot less to lose when there is peace in your family as apparent your mil has already taken sides.

Men don't take things like that seriously but I'd advice you call your husband's attention to it

classicB:


Thanks for correcting me, i should have said 'dnt allow these people that knows nothing about the culture destroy your marriage'

You are welcome

It is not all feminism/anti-feminism.

hahn:


Its not nonsense o(ok, maybe it is). The yorubas put some kind of specila ranking on greetings and my landlord recently gave me a quit notice simply because me and my wife stop greeting he and his wife . Truly though, its mostly local yorubas that exhibit this trait.

My advice is, call her aunty and let peace rain. There a lot less to lose when there is peace in your family as apparent your mil has already taken sides.

Men don't take things like that seriously but I'd advice you call your husband's attention to it

why would you be living in a rented property and refuse to greet your landlord and his wife whom i guess are much older than you and your wife? isn't that rude? are you not effectively keeping malice with them?

well the quit notice you received is in order and well deserved before you turn the old man and his wife to punching bag.

helovesme:


why would you be living in a rented property and refuse to greet your landlord and his wife whom i guess are much older than you and your wife? isn't that rude? are you not effectively keeping malice with them?

well the quit notice you received is in order and well deserved before you turn the old man and his wife to punching bag .

Hehe I like that.

helovesme:


why would you be living in a rented property and refuse to greet your landlord and his wife whom i guess are much older than you and your wife? isn't that rude? are you not effectively keeping malice with them?

well the quit notice you received is in order and well deserved before you turn the old man and his wife to punching bag.

Lol. And there you go jumping into conclusions. Why you refused to even ask "why" we stopped greeting them beats me.

I won't waste my time explaining. You apparent share the same mindset

Ewuro4:


Hehe I like that.

Lol. So, you're not also bothered about "why" we stopped abi?

Respect is reciprocal unfortunately most people expect it to be one sided

hahn:


Lol. And there you go jumping into conclusions. Why you refused to even ask "why" we stopped greeting them beats me.

I won't waste my time explaining. You apparent share the same mindset

Oh, So you and your wife actually have a 'reason' and you agreed between yourselves to stop greeting them.

so you will actually see them, pass beside them and not greet them? Chai !!!!

i like your landlord oh. Quit notice sharp !!! No time for nonsense. Who needs troublesome neighbours in a house built with one's sweat. Hian!! you can take your malice to another 'compound'.

helovesme:


Oh, So you and your wife actually have a 'reason' and you agreed between yourselves to stop greeting them.

so you will actually see them, pass beside them and not greet them? Chai !!!!

i like your landlord oh. Quit notice sharp !!! No time for nonsense. Who needs troublesome neighbours in a house built with one's sweat. Hian!! you can take your malice to another 'compound'.

Hehe you're too much. My ribs

helovesme:


Oh, So you and your wife actually have a 'reason' and you agreed between yourselves to stop greeting them.

so you will actually see them, pass beside them and not greet them? Chai !!!!

i like your landlord oh. Quit notice sharp !!! No time for nonsense. Who needs troublesome neighbours in a house built with one's sweat. Hian!! you can take your malice to another 'compound'.

Lol. For your mind you don make point abi?

We've actually settled the issue and he finally realised that he was the one at fault and apologised. He even admitted that he was surprised by my actions because he's closer to me than any other tenant and even when he's not around I ensure that his property is well taken care of. Unfortunately, he started taking my meekness for weakness and I had to clarify that to him. The only reason why he gave me the quit notice was because he didn't know how to summon me to a discussion and he even begged me not to leave his house when I asked him for my money. So now we're friends again.

Stop jumping into conclusions. It doesn't make you seem smart

hahn:


Lol. So, you're not also bothered about "why" we stopped abi?

Respect is reciprocal unfortunately most people expect it to be one sided

I am sure your landlord agrees with you and that is why he has given you quit notice, so that way you can leave him and his wife with their one-sided respect

there are somethings you do not do and having a frosty relationship with your landlord is one of them. its impossible not to always agree but it should never get to the stage of keeping malice. I will rather eject myself and find another property.

@topic
i think its all about individual upbringing and the family one marries into.

i call my younger inlaws by their names oh and they call me by my first name too - just the same way the call my hubby by his first name and my siblings call me by my own first name too. everybody is happy with this - i have not noticed any funny attitude or remarks. however, the day anybody makes it an issue, i will fight and make my stand clearly known.

i never knew this 'aunty' and 'uncle' ish still existed tho.

hahn:


Lol. For your mind you don make point abi?

We've actually settled the issue and he finally realised that he was the one at fault and apologised. He even admitted that he was surprised by my actions because he's closer to me than any other tenant and even when he's not around I ensure that his property is well taken care of. Unfortunately, he started taking my meekness for weakness and I had to clarify that to him. The only reason why he gave me the quit notice was because he didn't know how to summon me to a discussion and he even begged me not to leave his house when I asked him for my money. So now we're friends again.

Stop jumping into conclusions. It doesn't make you seem smart

YIMU

Begged you not to leave his house ke When a new tenant will obviously pay more rent in line with the current rate in the rental market?

Anyyways, it changes not the fact that he issued the quit notice first and he is currently on the lookout for another tenant .

helovesme:


Oh, So you and your wife actually have a 'reason' and you agreed between yourselves to stop greeting them.

so you will actually see them, pass beside them and not greet them? Chai !!!!

i like your landlord oh. Quit notice sharp !!! No time for nonsense. Who needs troublesome neighbours in a house built with one's sweat. Hian!! you can take your malice to another 'compound'.

And who needs a bossy ass landlord who keeps monitoring my life after I paid for my rent with my own sweat. How would you feel if your landlord tells you to pour out water you use to wash your clothes from inside your toilet into the gutter outside when you are not living in a face me I face you house?

Look, I paid for that apartment. I don't owe him any money and I'm not an armed robber. Irrespective of his age, he needs to understand that he is rendering a service and not offering me a favour. Its people like you that hinder this country's progress with your stone age mentality.

Even if I leave that house there are lots of places I can move into. He can send me out of his house and not out of the world

helovesme:


YIMU

Begged you not to leave his house ke When a new tenant will obviously pay more rent in line with the current rate in the rental market?

Anyyways, it changes not the fact that he issued the quit notice first and he is currently on the lookout for another tenant .

Smd.

And I'm currently on the look out for another apartment

helovesme:


YIMU

Begged you not to leave his house ke When a new tenant will obviously pay more rent in line with the current rate in the rental market?

Anyyways, it changes not the fact that he issued the quit notice first and he is currently on the lookout for another tenant .

.....Do you by any chance know the poster from anywhere?? ..cos i fail to see why you are on his neck like this..please respect yourself and do not derail this thread.

.

hahn:


And who needs a bossy ass landlord who keeps monitoring my life after I paid for my rent with my own sweat. How would you feel if your landlord tells you to pour out water you use to wash your clothes from inside your toilet into the gutter outside when you are not living in a face me I face you house?

Look, I paid for that apartment. I don't owe him any money and I'm not an armed robber. Irrespective of his age, he needs to understand that he is rendering a service and not offering me a favour. Its people like you that hinder this country's progress with your stone age mentality.

Even if I leave that house there are lots of places I can move into. He can send me out of his house and not out of the world

heheheheheheh

what you've explained doesnt justify keeping malice with your landlord and his wife.

life is too short. he did the right thing by giving you the quit notice and least you two will have peace and be happy now .

helovesme:


heheheheheheh

what you've explained doesnt justify keeping malice with your landlord and his wife.

life is too short. he did the right thing by giving you the quit notice and least you two will have peace and be happy now .

My sister, the matter is too long abeg

Definitely, the next place I'm moving must come without a resident landlord.

I believe you've not had any experience with a crappy landlord and that's why you feel comfortable with taking his side. You might even be a crappy landlord yourself. That's a thought because you seem like the type

hahn:


My sister, the matter is too long abeg

Definitely, the next place I'm moving must come without a resident landlord.

I believe you've not had any experience with a crappy landlord and that's why you feel comfortable with taking his side. You might even be a crappy landlord yourself. That's a thought because you seem like the type

Tufia

I am a lover not a fighter.

I am not taking sides. however, rather than keep malice with my landlord, i will rather remain civil and polite and move out jejely at the expiration of my tenancy.

OP, choose your battles. You don't have to call her aunty, some people give nicknames so as not call their spouse's siblings that are younger aunty.

Let me even help you small, orente, idi-ileke, Ayiluko, omo daddy etc

helovesme:


Tufia

I am a lover not a fighter.

I am not taking sides. however, rather than keep malice with my landlord, i will rather remain civil and polite and move out jejely at the expiration of my tenancy.

Apparently, you've never had the experience. When you remain civil and polite and you're taken advantage of then you can come and comment on this topic

cococandy:

Whatever

You beat me to it. Seriously, WORREVER.

Vyolet:
Lol,this is the smallest issue one can deal with,it is culture and to avoid unnecessary arguments,just call her whatever she likes and move on with your life.
That you use 'e' for her doesn't mean you can't send her errands or ask her to do house chores. The way you carry yourself will determine how much she will respect you.

exactly you can even stylishly send her errands and she won't notice e.g anti kemi ede sare gbe awon Aburo yin kuron school or ede bami ra ata tima se fegbon yin

classicB:
Are you not yoruba ni? You ought to have known all these before you got married to their son.
It is a normal thing here and I dunno why you are suddenly surprised about calling your little sister in law AUNT.
This act as been going on for ages. I have women old enough to be my grandmother call me that, not because of anything else but because they see me as their small mother/sister in law. Will it make them any lesser? Remove a strand of hair from their head? Make their nearer to their grave? NO!!!
These older women have seen it all and it's no longer a big deal to them. And that is why have been saying that to avoid fight with husband family in the future try enough to get to know them very well, even in the early start of the relationship, if u had known you'd be asked to call a girl younger than your sister AUNTY In the first place am sure u might have said no to the marriage proposal.
For the sake of peace in your home, u better start calling her that and dnt follow the advice of some so called feminist here that are ready to spoil others marriage.
You can call her name when she isn't there, but pls add the AUNTY when she is around. It will not reduce your phd certificate to waec.

Arrant nonsense. Do you even know the meaning of aunt/auntie? If she is your SISTER-in-law, then what happened to "sister"?

babygirlfl:
My golden rule with in- laws is that I don't start what I cannot finish. Before marriage and during first year of marriage is when you let everybody both husband and in laws know what you can and cannot accept. It may cause some trouble then but at least they know and with time everybody will accept things the way they are and peace will return. Picking your battles is good but if people in the name of in law bring battles that should not be there in the first place, my advice is fight it. If you leave it, it gets worse and by the time you realise that the small battle is now big and you are ready to fight it, it may become very difficult as it is now the accepted lifestyle.

I will not call someone younger than me Aunty. If my in laws make that a battle, I will fight it.

You are wise joor. It's a partnership, not slavery. And if it's a partnership, the more sensible thing to do is to give my wife all the respect due for me. My mother will know better than to bring up such bullshit. She is my wife, not the family house help.