Guys, candid answers please!

Guys, Can you marry your female boss in the office?

She's 27 and he is 30

She's 3 levels above him in the office and the boss in his unit

She has a Masters Degree, he has an undergraduate degree

She's the Senior Project Manager, he's a systems analyst in the unit

She makes about N720k a month, while he makes about N370k a month

The HR policy of the company allows that but one person will be transferred to another branch after the relationship becomes official.

What started as a close working relationship/ collaboration has become an office fling, and suddenly she's in love and whispered to her friend she will like him to propose.

2nd pat of the question:

What steps can u take to make such a marriage work considering that in Nigerian scenario he's been answering her Madam.

yes na . let see what the next person has to say

Kai I don't know the answer to this question walahi

If the woman accept the man as the head of the house and respect him, why not.

the only thung that need to sustaine this relationship into an unmendacious marriage is just understanding and application of wisdom.


all he needs to do; he should ask himself if he or his' boss can get another job or accept transfer after proposal, b'cause transfer is mandatory. but it depends how trustworthy the both of them could be, to avoid infidelity.

it still boils down to understanding and application of wisdom from both parties...

Respect, patience, constant dialogue and above all love. If they have these, then they would be happy.

Of course.
The fact that they won't have to work in the same office makes it easy.The guy could even get another job in another company with time.
The most important thing here is for the lady to take him as her husband and they share love and mutual respect for each other.

misssclassy:
Quick question. Is this a case where the guy hasn't approached the lady yet, or a case where they both love each other and the lady has already agreed to go on with the marriage?

The question is on the man's behalf. He wants to know from friends and family if he should go ahead and pop the question. Obviously she will say 'Yes' from feelers (what are the pros and cons?). He hasn't done that yet but would love to b4 she's snapped by another dude but concerned also if the lady can respect him at home or carry-over the boss thing to house. For now she's the boss-she's more educated and makes way more money too...she is a very sweet young lady though. But you know people change when situation becomes real...we women act somehow when we make more money...

You will never know until life into the marriage. A game of chance. Take it or leave it.
As for me and my house, we keep work and ranks outside the home

Semper Fi
God bless our troops.

ITbomb:
If the woman accept the man as the head of the house and respect him, why not.

Woged2005:


The question is on the man's behalf. [b]He wants to know from friends and family if he should go ahead and pop the question. [/b]Obviously she will say 'Yes' from feelers (what are the pros and cons?). He hasn't done that yet but would love to b4 she's snapped by another dude but concerned also if the lady can respect him at home or carry-over the boss thing to house. For now she's the boss-she's more educated and makes way more money too...she is a very sweet young lady though. But you know people change when situation becomes real...we women act somehow when we make more money...

He is the one in the relationship. No one can be certain if she will carry the boss thing into the house, she is his boss at work not the boss of his life. What does he think? The guy is not feeling solid to me i fear any of her actions may be interpreted as bossy because of his fears and insecurities.

The transfer will it be in the same city?

andromida:


He is the one in the relationship. No one can be certain if she will carry the boss thing into the house, she is his boss at work not the boss of his life. What does he think? The guy is not feeling solid to me i fear any of her actions may be interpreted as bossy because of his fears and insecurities.

The transfer will it be in the same city?

yea! usually in same city or to different unit in the same building depending on where the skill is needed most but that's at the discretion of the VP. He could also decide to let one person go to avoid fraternization in the office. In this case he could very well be assigned to another project elsewhere where his 'wife' has no control or influence to promote him unfairly. It's a standard practice in most multinationals.. She's a super-rising star in the company and studied abroad too. Everyone knows the sky is her limit-definitely a Directorship or VP material someday..

Woged2005:


yea! usually in same city or to different unit in the same building depending on where the skill is needed most but that's at the discretion of the VP. He could also decide to let one person go to avoid fraternization in the office. In this case he could very well be assigned to another project elsewhere where his 'wife' has no control or influence to promote him unfairly. It's a standard practice in most multinationals.. She's a super-rising star in the company and studied abroad too. Everyone knows the sky is her limit-definitely a Directorship or VP material someday..

Looks like she won't be his boss if they get married.

As a woman, I don't think I can :-
Age
Education
Salary/career

As a man, I won't either. Those 3 things are big deals for me.

That's me!

Yes I will marry her if and only if she really want marriage with no strings

Office policies may apply how so ever,but with the kinda salary she has,I may even look elsewhere,as long as it won't affect the relationship.

The issue of she being the boss of the house depends on which side of the glass one looks at it.Am not the type that gives a 'ding' about peoples reactions as long as am on track.

If he's not insecure, yes it's possible

it depends on the kinda woman she is. she could be earning way less than him and still be a rude & choleric wife.

academic history - this is nothing as far as he's intelligent. he doesn't have a masters degree because he hasn't had the time or opportunity to pursue it, not that he is intellectually sterile to cop one.

age - mind over matter. if the couple involved don't mind, it doesn't matter. one can be 30 years of age with the emotional maturity of a prepubescent teen. one may be very young with the wisdom of a senior citizen. this can also be managed.

salary/career - this is the easiest to manage. they both know what they earn. the boss earns more than twice as much as him. it simply means the contribution towards up keep world be ratio 2:1........until the dude gets promoted at the very least.

easy peasy lemon squeezy!

cozy7:
Sure, it can definitely work out, but will depend more on d woman's level of understanding. She needs to realize that she may be d boss at work, but THE MAN IS D UNDISPUTED BOSS AT HOME. In fact what's most appealing to me is that one of them will be transferred right? So it can as well b assumed that they "don't" work together.
But d man has to really make sure she'll be subordinate to him OFF-OFFICE, but regard him at work too. But if I were d man, after marriage, I'll plan on leaving d job for sth better, in order to fill up d financial gap, but of course with consent n support of d woman. I WISH THEM BOTH PATIENCE N GOODLUCK.

."..i'll plan on leaving d job for sth better, in order to fill up financial gap..." how many jobs that pay 370k readly come that easy in the country to start with.

As long as he's not suffering from inferiority or superiority complex, why not

If the boss of a thing ends in the office, why not?

This guy though, he's definitely the type that loves to shoot for the stars.

crackhaus:
This guy though, he's definitely the type that loves to shoot for the stars.

the boss chose him.
there's no way the guy woulda had the courage to ask his boss out.......people get sacked for such moves.

Still reading and waiting for more comments before I say my own

coogar:


the boss chose him.
there's no way the guy woulda had the courage to ask his boss out .......people get sacked for such moves.

You sure about that?

Exactly

coogar:
it depends on the kinda woman she is. she could be earning way less than him and still be a rude & choleric wife.

academic history - this is nothing as far as he's intelligent. he doesn't have a masters degree because he hasn't had the time or opportunity to pursue it, not that he is intellectually sterile to cop one.

age - mind over matter. if the couple involved don't mind, it doesn't matter. one can be 30 years of age with the emotional maturity of a prepubescent teen. one may be very young with the wisdom of a senior citizen. this can also be managed.

salary/career - this is the easiest to manage. they both know what they earn. the boss earns more than twice as much as him. it simply means the contribution towards up keep world be ratio 2:1........until the dude gets promoted at the very least.

easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Why not....

The only problem I see is the guy. Does he have the emotional and street intelligence to manage the lady?

Higher degree does not equate wisdom, tact and smartness. If the guy is very smart to understand the boss weakness, the rest is history.

I can marry the CEO of my company if she is willing, her position is not a threat. Women can be easily handled and very difficult at the same time, you only need to know the right button to press.

As per calling her madam in the office, it is no big deal since it is official work where you get the daily bread. The late Bola Ige was always addressing his wife Justice Atinuke Ige as my lord in the courtroom anytime he had a case in her court.

Summary, is the guy matured enough to lead the home?

coogar:


the boss chose him.
there's no way the guy woulda had the courage to ask his boss out.......people get sacked for such moves.

not really- they both worked on several projects together which brought them in close contact with each other to notice and admire salient qualities. the close collaboration led to "hi, how are you?" friendship, to having happy hours after work, to real friendship, to exchange of visits, to cautious secret dating, now to romantic relationship. Also bear in mind that the guy is older and even though he is lower in office position and education he exudes confidence, charisma and usually takes charge. This is a quality most 'strong' women fall for- a man that takes charge of situations. Honestly if you yank off the power skirt suits from any professional woman, there is a 'little girl' that yearns for attention, love, protection, and pampering. One thing this man does to my friend is he is not in competition with her at all and never feel insecure/intimidated around her. Outside office he takes charge as a man and the 'little girl' in her comes out. You can see that when they are together.

And he doesn't brag to his colleagues about what he does to her in privacy to feel big-----for us ladies that sucks

Woged2005:

not really- they both worked on several projects together which brought them in close contact with each other to notice and admire salient qualities. the close collaboration led to "hi, how are you?" friendship, to having happy hours after work, to real friendship, to exchange of visits, to cautious secret dating, now to romantic relationship. Also bear in mind that the guy is older and even though he is lower in office position and education he exudes confidence, charisma and usually takes charge. This is a quality most 'strong' women fall for- a man that takes charge of situations. Honestly if you yank off the power skirt suits from any professional woman, there is a 'little girl' that yearns for attention, love, protection, and pampering. One thing this man does to my friend is he is not in competition with her at all and never feel insecure/intimidated around her. Outside office he takes charge as a man and the 'little girl' in her comes out. You can see that when they are together.

and it didn't occur to you that bit was only possible because the boss wanted to be with him? biko, i know too well how women play their game when they want a guy. she doesn't need to ask him out or throw herself at him. she only needs to place herself in a position where the guy would do the needful.

And he doesn't brag to his colleagues about what he does to her in privacy to feel big-----for us ladies that sucks

i don't think any sane man brags about his private affair to his mates. this is 2015 - that ish is so kindergarten!

cococandy:
Exactly

cococandy, you agree with me?
really? this is a kodak moment.

crackhaus:

You sure about that?

very very sure!
women do their hunting & chasing too but very subtly. a premature guy would give himself all the credits of doing the chase but when you really analyse the situation, it's the woman that did the chase but very remotely.

when the chase is kinda easier than you had expected, just do a self-check.....you would realise it's because the target has always wanted you as well but she's never going to initiate any move. she would just position herself where you should do the needful.

Why not?

Lest I forget, congratulations Woged2005.

Send us the IV when it is settled. Fear not, the guy will pop the question...