kandiikane:


Well, daddy, why don't you make me understand your post. Tell me why she will suffer in the long run. Is he the only one with preek around? It shall be well with you too.

SirAweezy:


The guy seems caring and loving from her post... not egotistical, not all men cook, run errand for the house, besides if you mention preek around right? Do you know who she is meeting with Next?

All I'm saying no matter what her hubby deserves a second chance, the only man that doesn't cheat is the only man that fears God greatly. Not the principled ones, nor the so call realist.

I've seen little of men, even pastors that covers themselves under the grace of God to manipulate church women.

So many things I'd like to say from the this real world of marriage. It is never the way you painted. You just have to make it work if you want it.

But it's a choice.

kandiikane:


So, because you meet someone who is caring and loving , you should overlook the cheating because of caring and loving. If your wife was the "ultimate" housewife, will you overlook her affairs. I mean as long as she cooks and cleans for you, it is all good right? Life does not work like that, daddy! Just because as friend you give me money does not mean you have the right to maltreatment me.

The next preek could even be better, no one should sell themselves short.

Infact, I find that people who seem very caring and loving but have evil habits are the worst kind. Those are the ones who will poison you slowly without you knowing. And it is the one that tends to hurt even more. Very sly and conniving set of humans. They are only wearing a mask.

SirAweezy:


I can't overule your point they are making sense. But her marriage is too young, she needs to find a way to forgive. But she if can't it's okay. Same advise I'll give to my daughter. To months and you want to quit.? No!

kandiikane:


Two months? Absolutely. I feel it is way easier to quit now than let's say 10, 15years of marriage.

SirAweezy:


The earlier you know your partner, the better for you. This can make him/her adjust to settle down to reality quickly. What happened to the op is redeemable. And not a close ended one.

focus7:
whatever happen, do your best to win your man to yourself. Don't pick up a fight with, sought out a way with him to break away from the ladies outside. What my wife did then was that first, she didn't pretend not discover something, two she was willing to make it a secret between us and it is till date except that am sharing it now, third she was ready to reason, understand and assist me come out. She call the ladies not quarrel with them but counsel them and make them see the consequent. But most importantly she ensured she didn't lose me to them, she team up with me.

Nonso23:


See the kind of girls somebody will eventually marry o.
CC: Bukatyne

www.nairaland.com/2395477/boyfriend-raped-me-see-reason

see their reasoning
These ones too will be demanding respect.
They can't even tell when they are being disrespected.

Thank you all.
I really appreciate your prayers and your support. And thank you to everybody who put a word of support or prayer for me.

And to everybody who mailed me, you can still contact me there as I am deactivating this profile. And I have your numbers too so I can call. Im not in the frame of mind to put any further information here for e-people to pat themselves on the back and gloat over.

Like I said, he that is down needs fear no fall. I cannot fall further than I have. It simply cannot be worse than it is. Yes, I know. The STI tests and all. I will do them. If fine, then good. If not, then this is the card Ive been dealt and I have no choice than to live my life as healthily as I can.

I only needed to vent till I take a step and I have. Mission accomplished. For now.

At most, I resign and I leave Nigeria. Perfect opportunity to chase my other dreams. I start a new life. And he can too.
People have done it and people will still do it. If that is what happens, then fine! I'm OK with it.

It will only be a new phase of life which I will adapt to.

So regardless of what anyone here or anywhere says or does. This does not define me. I did nothing wrong in this case.
And when all has been said or done, I WILL BE FINE!!

classicB:
Like my roommate will say. "I will just have like two kids with him and focus on them and my carrier, the early you realise these men are cheats the better"
Not all women can live with a cheating spouse, if you can't, u can just walk away.

ttoniaben:
then just let it go.trust me the grass isn't always greener on the other side.if u choose to divorce him now who is to say that the next man u meet will be better than him?

Chinum:


This mode of reasoning is too outdated. CHANGE IT!!!

Haywhymido:
My sister make dat marriage work, work things out with ur husband. O bad ni ko ti baje o

simpleseyi:
I don't know why some of you are begging this woman to take things easy while she is spiting fire. She can go and file a divorce if she wants to, there are several women waiting at her door step, ready to jump on her bed once she is out. the husband has several bedmates already, so he will not miss our dear angel wife if she finally decides to leave, the guy will just call any of his numerous bedmates to keep him warm. It's men's world, take it or leave it. If you wan waka, I beg waka quick quick make person wey wan do come do.

This however, does not mean that I support adultery in any form, but an adulterous husband is not the worst thing on earth. If the poster tells her mother, she will be surprised that her mother will tell her (poster) several times that her (poster) father had different side chicks in the past and probably still have side chicks till date, yet the she (poster's mother) will not consider divorce.

Some frustrated ladies here that are advising the poster to separate and divorce her husband are going through worst situation. Some of them are married to serial cheaters, some have caught their husbands in bed with their dirty maids, some of their husbands have several children from different women outside wedlock, some are married to unrepentant wife beaters, yet they will not consider divorce but they are here giving senseless advices. Who knows, one of the husband's mistresses may even be here, giving divorce advice, waiting for the wife to move out so that she (mistress) can jump in.

The adulterous husband deserves a severe punishment even from us the men folks because he is painting all of us as adulterers and giving us a very bad image. Adultery is a sin against God and man, but divorce itself is also a sin.

Daresh:


People like you believe a womans life revolves around a man. If another woman jumps into his bed nko? Aren't they already there? You think she can't build a happy fulfilled life without a man? Abeg give chance jor.

SAMBARRY:
ok

SirAweezy:


Actually... In the case of the OP hubby.. The guy went far.. To have even recorded it... And also bring a lady home few days to their wedding...

But I think he deserve a second chance!

simpleseyi:


You are getting me wrong. My own idea is that marriage is an institution that needs to be protected. Not running out of marriage at the slightest disagreement. The videos this lady saw were recorded before their marriage, technically, the guy was single then and has not committed any offense in the presence of law. The fact that they were preparing for marriage does not mean that they were married. Can a woman go to court and ask the magistrate to separate them because her now husband was flirting before they got married? Do you think the magistrate will listen to such excuse for divorce?

The marriage is an institution that needs to be protected and guided jealously by both the man and the woman. Not that a woman will be threatening divorce just because the husband used to have several bedmates before marriage.

I am against divorce in any form except the marriage is becoming life threatening, only the living has spouse.

Daresh:


This is the stewpidest thing i have ever read

Nonso23:


Lolz I'm just seeing this now.
I can assure you with all confidence that these kinds of girls will not even attract the gaze of any NL family section male.

On the second part. If you meant NL feminism which equals: shunning responsibilities, being unnecessarily obnoxious, thinking that the man's duty is to please a woman all day everyday and man hating then i agree with you 100%.
No sane man would want to end up with such a woman.

No man would want his daughter denied of basic opportunities because she is a girl and thankfully Nigeria is way ahead in that department. We even have quotas for women in education, politics and in many corporations there are gender quotas in place - ie whether she deserves the position or not, put her there because she is a woman doesn't matter if a man is more qualified.
Feminism has outlived its importance. It is just another tool to satisfy the narcissistic tendencies of most women.

Nobody needs feminism. We need real education, especially in the Northern part of Nigeria. Teach people civility and respect for the next person regardless of gender and the problem of the perceived marginalization will end. Spread modern day feminism and hate will fester. Nobody can thrive in hate.

Men are not responsible for the current position of women in the grand scheme of things. There is no recorded historical evidence of men rounding up all the women and enslaving them. We both started off together - arguing along the tenets of evolution I even dare say the woman started slightly earlier- we got here because we kept advancing society and shaping the perspectives of its members.
Men created formal education and just like today's view of women about soccer, they weren't to be bothered about it. Fast forward a few centuries the story has been thwarted to mean men denied women of education and so on.

Or is it that the woman unconsciously allows the activities of the man define what is important or not to the society?

We can't hate women, we are incapable of that even. We just strike back very hard when hit. Blame biology, fight or flight??
We choose Fight

agarawu23:
old member creating new moniker to open thread

you saw his naked pic on laptop with a girl on top of him?
So the guy is dumb to have sex with a Lady and tape it

you saw one before your marriage and he is naked alone ? you didn't confront him before moving in with him ?

tell us more

Nonso23:


Anytime I see this mention I go just weak.
This session requires a lot of brainstorming and time if it is to be done properly.
The time bit na im be my problem now o.
On a good day I will honor it.