Over the past few years, there have been numerous stories, articles on rapes and other sexual abuses on very
young girls. It was beginning to feel uncomfortably and perversely as if it had become fashionable and somehow
we were getting accustomed to hearing or reading about it.

Even though the discussions on many social networks and most of the responses by people holding these
discussions were of outrage and condemnation of the acts, I was left wondering if people really understood the totality of losses involved in the savagery of the act.

A survivor’s emotions, behaviour, sexuality, attitudes and spirituality are all damaged. For many of the clients I see, sometimes the aftermath of their experiences is their reason for seeking therapy even though their presenting
problem may be quite different.

The survivors of sexual abuse have borne many losses. Some may be more obvious than others. Many report
feeling ‘different’ from other people as if the abusive relationship sets them apart from others. Right from the
beginning of the abuse, the victim undergoes a crisis of identity and an ultimate loss of a sense of being normal or like being like everybody else.

Another obvious loss is the loss of innocence. Survivors of sexual abuse are caught in a very complex and
bewildering situation where they are trying to cope with adult experiences and feelings but only having the
resources of childhood. They are not actually catapulted into true adulthood as may be thought, with its mature
understandings and motivations.

Instead, survivors of sexual abuse are caught in no-man’s land where they are confronted with events that they are not equipped to deal with.

The loss of innocence in childhood sexual abuse is physical as well as emotional and has repercussions at
every level. Survivors tend to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with them for anyone to have treated them in that way. Sometimes, this belief is deeply buried and may resurface in self destructive behaviours such as eating disorders, drugs and alcohol abuse. Others may engage in promiscuity, become suicidal or may find huge difficulties in maintaining healthy relationships. What is clear is the devastation sexual abuse causes to every aspect of a person’s attitude and life.

One way in which our psyche protects us is by repressing or denying truths or events which it would be unbearable
to acknowledge. If in the right environment, feeling safe and contained, maybe with a counsellor or a trusted person, tiny fragments of memories of abuse might begin to surface.

Most people will assume that the abuse victim’s strongest feelings of betrayal and exploitation would be towards the perpetrator. However, from what the majority of my clients say, the strongest sense of outrage is directed towards the mother. Whether the mother is seen as having a direct
part to play in the abuse or of turning a blind eye or remaining ignorant, survivors feel the mother had failed at
performing her vital role of creating and maintaining a secure environment for her child. Obviously, in cases where the mother is the perpetrator, the effect on the victim is almost overwhelming.

For some survivors of sexual abuse loss is a continuing experience. Though sexual abuse is generally thought of as something occurring in infancy or childhood, it is a perfectly valid term for unwanted sexual contact at any age. Victims of rape, sexual harassment in the work place or sexual brutality within marriage could all be described as having been sexually abused. Their self- esteem usually deteriorates and they feel sullied.

Rape victims sometimes develop fears such as going out alone and women abused by their partners can find
satisfying, loving relationships hard to achieve or sustain. All these have their parallels in childhood sexual abuse.

The impact and their ramifications on survivors of childhood sexual abuse vary, particularly because of the
age at which the abuse occurs. The sense of powerlessness and of intimidation or menace, while quite
real for an adult victim of rape, loom even larger for a child, who has far fewer resources and coping strategies.

It is useful for family members or those around survivors of sexual abuse to bear in mind common psychological
processes such as transference (Where a person transfers an emotion meant for one person on to another).
It is also important not to minimise the awfulness of sexual abuse or to turn away from survivors or to try to
deny how they are feeling. It is important that they feel able to express how they feel and for them to be validated.

http://www.punchng.com/columnists/mental-health-matters/impact-of-sexual-abuse-on-young-persons/