The phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" is often incorrectly attributed to the Christian Bible. It does not appear there. It was first written in a poem by Samuel Butler in 1664. it is a popular phrase used by many.

It is not news that disciplining a child instills some form of control in the child.
The word discipline means to impart knowledge and skill–to teach.
Many parents employ various skills in disciplining children, skills such as rewarding good behavior, being clear about rules, being consistent about rules, modelling good behaviours, counselling, spanking. e.t.c...of all the above skills, spanking seems under-utilized in todays world and hence part of the reason for increased crime amongst young fellaz...

Take into consideration these kids;
Erin caffey ( who plannned the murder of her family with her boyfriend because her parents tstood in her way with james wilkinson),

Joshua smith ( 14year old who shot his mother because she said he has to be home by 11pm),

15 year old who attacked her dad with a hunting bow because her iphone was ceased,

15 year old boy who stabbed his brothers to death simply beacuse they were adopted,

12 year old boy shot dead his mother sara madrid because of house chores,

A saudi arabian teenager who shot his father for refusak to buy him PS3,

15 year old nehemiah greigo who killed his family because his mother annoyed him,

3 young muslims killed in the chapel hill shooting,

and most recently, the stupid boy dylan roof who killed 9 people just because they were blacks..

we also have heard of teenagers in africa that engage in vices such as rituals, cultism, robbery, thuggery, murder amongst others.

Child crime is more rampant overseas beacuse of their belief to spare children at all times under the guise of human rights, and hence disrespect, hardy, stubborn, immoral, disregard, wickedness and related attitudes are found in such kids.

Even research suggests that children who are smacked by their parents may grow up to be happier and more successful than those spared physical discipline.
A study found that youngsters smacked up to the age of six did better at school and were more optimistic about their lives than those never hit by their parents. They were also more likely to undertake voluntary work and keener to attend university, experts discovered. (The Telegraph).

I'm not implying that spanking totally expels negativity from a child (because some genes are strong oo), but at least to a great extent, it tames the child, instills morality by understanding rebuke, and prevents excesses.

God's word also tells us in;
Prov 13:24 : "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18 : "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15 : "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13 : "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14 : "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15 : "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Hebrews 12:6-7 : "...the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"

NOTE; I know some parents are grossly irresponsible and i strongly disagree with parents who hit children with belts, shoes, twines, and such objects....
However I believe canes used on the buttocks or palms might help the child in the long run and even this should be done with love...

Comments from matured minds are welcome.

It only takes the grace of God to train up a child. Some of them react even when you scolding them and that's where the parents gets injured too. I just feel any parent should seek wisdom of God cos there comes a certain age you can't handle them not even in this technology age their brain is so wired to their gadgets and seeing all dese too. I pray I have a good husband ready to raise godly children with me because me I don't want headache @ old age abeg.

If na beating, my dad beat devil commot for my body and I was raised in the beautiful slums of Shitta but that didn't make me crazy or angry @ him.so I feel, everychild too can decide on which path of life to take, the parents should show the the good and bad whereby pointing the good life which I feel should be love, fear God and respect humans.

I'm always grateful to God that my parents didn't spare the rod during my upbringing.

AirstarKane:
It only takes the grace of God to train up a child. Some of them react even when you scolding them and that's where the parents gets injured too. I just feel any parent should seek wisdom of God cos there comes a certain age you can't handle them not even in this technology age their brain is so wired to their gadgets and seeing all dese too. I pray I have a good husband ready to raise godly children with me because me I don't want headache @ old age abeg.

Wisdom requires that you scold them at an early age, that way they might give you rest later in the future...

Not all dear, some just need you 2 talk to them like a friend too. And when I mean wisdom, you should be able 2 employ every tactics to win them to your side. Seriously, kids are not that easy to raise even when you feel you doing the right thing.

There is no problem pankere cannot solve.

Alternatively, authentic, tried and tested corporal punishment will do the trick.

To be used sparingly though otherwise the child will just mutate and develop resistance to any specie of whip.

AirstarKane:
Not all dear, some just need you 2 talk to them like a friend too. And when I mean wisdom, you should be able 2 employ every tactics to win them to your side. Seriously, kids are not that easy to raise even when you feel you doing the right thing.

I quite agree with you, but cane must not be left out in any form of wisdom...between the ages of 10-16, caning is very important....from ages 22 and above, the child will tend to love you more and understand the reason for that training...at least many children, not all.

AirstarKane:
It only takes the grace of God to train up a child. Some of them react even when you scolding them and that's where the parents gets injured too. I just feel any parent should seek wisdom of God cos there comes a certain age you can't handle them not even in this technology age their brain is so wired to their gadgets and seeing all dese too. I pray I have a good husband ready to raise godly children with me because me I don't want headache @ old age abeg.

That bolded is very important so you wont end up being headlong over what you see as basics in bringing up the children

Crieff:
There is no problem pankere cannot solve.

Alternatively, authentic, tried and tested corporal punishment will do the trick.

To be used sparingly though otherwise the child will just mutate and develop resistance to any specie of whip.

exactly.

@OP:

The rod might not necessarily be physical

Parents should study each child to know the most suitable 'rod' per child.

It is well

bukatyne:
@OP:

The rod might not necessarily be physical

Parents should study each child to know the most suitable 'rod' per child.

It is well

i know there are different types of rod, but i think d physical rod is very important..no matter how mild...

winner01:
i know there are different types of rod, but i think d physical rod is very important..no matter how mild...

You have a point though

I think raising children is a balancing (and tough) act.

There are often no hard and fast rules.

You may spare the rod, and still get a descent child.

You may use the rod, and get undisciplined, evil and rebellious child.

You can try your best, but ultimately, once the child grows up or is growing up, they choose their paths (and sometimes unfortunately may fall far from their upbringing).

Each individual must walk out the path that is laid out to him/her, make choices as a free agent and face consequences.

ive said this severally.
Each child is different . . even siblings
Not all children require the physical rod and for some a stern voice is enough for them.
Parents should study their own kids and work out the best way to discipline them.

It also does not end there . . . .
What example are you showing your kids
A fruit does not fall far from the tree
What are your own behaviours as a parent?
Kid is watfching and learning from you.
How much time are you investing in your kid?
Owambe every week?
100 hour working weeks?

You can beat your kid to kingdom come and still end up with a delinquent
Personally I am not a fan of inflicting physical pain on a kid. . . but as I said earlier, parents should discipline anyway they feel is best for that kid. I am talking about decent, head strewed on correctly parents here & not sadists.

I dont also under estimate the power of prayer in the lives of our kids and also us as parents for wisdom.

I stumbled on to this thread. Without going into much detail I'll outline what is effective discipline. Children, teenagers up to the age of 21 need boundaries, they require rules-- it's your responsibility as the guardian to set those rules and boundaries. It's not just because your the guardian and have the authority to do it. the child should understand it's for her own good. for her moral well being among other things. You should make her aware of the consequences of poor behavior not just the flogging she'll get but in the outside world. Adults you have to let experience those for themselves. A child you can protect from even if it means her bottom will be sore for a few days.

the basic rules for effective discipline as to boundaries and rules

1. it needs to be age appropriate

2. it needs to be clearly understood by the child both when it's announced and when punishment is to be applied for an infraction of the rule.

3. it needs to be fair and reasonable. What that is can be a matter of interpretation. A couple of following guidelines will clarify it. Another thing which can be done is to the extent the child is capable and without forfeiting your authority and responsibility as her guardian is to allow her to participate in setting the rules

4. Punishment needs to be proportional to the offense and consistently and fairly applied. When the child is being prepared for a flogging you need to assess if it's not unreasonable or erratic-- The child should be clear why she's being punished--it can't be that she doesn't know or understand

5. Rules must be both firm and flexible-- flexible doesn't mean they can be ignored at will without consequence but allows for the guardian to consider the particular circumstance and allow the child's input into the reasons for her disobedience-- and thus enable her to better understand the need for correction

6. Corporal punishment should be administered in private. For teenagers if possible it should be done by a parent or guardian of the same gender. This is particularly true if the child is to be unclad when undergoing correction.

Crieff:
There is no problem pankere cannot solve.

Alternatively, authentic, tried and tested corporal punishment will do the trick.

To be used sparingly though otherwise the child will just mutate and develop resistance to any specie of whip.

you need to be consistent in the use of the whip. If you're erratic so the child can never figure out when she's going to get a whipping then you start having problems. Also as you said it's done too often so that it loses its effectiveness. You also need to be clear on what you expect from the child so she understands it and if correction is required she knows why.

Xiadnat:
I think raising children is a balancing (and tough) act.

There are often no hard and fast rules.

You may spare the rod, and still get a descent child.

You may use the rod, and get undisciplined, evil and rebellious child.

You can try your best, but ultimately, once the child grows up or is growing up, they choose their paths (and sometimes unfortunately may fall far from their upbringing).

Each individual must walk out the path that is laid out to him/her, make choices as a free agent and face consequences.

having clear rules which are age appropriate, fair, firm but flexible is helpful. underscore it with a proper moral and spiritual base

hvq229:


having clear rules which are age appropriate, fair, firm but flexible is helpful. underscore it with a proper moral and spiritual base

Well said. Agreed. Still a tough act tho, whoever well scripted.

hvq229:
I stumbled on to this thread. Without going into much detail I'll outline what is effective discipline. Children, teenagers up to the age of 21 need boundaries, they require rules-- it's your responsibility as the guardian to set those rules and boundaries. It's not just because your the guardian and have the authority to do it. the child should understand it's for her own good. for her moral well being among other things. You should make her aware of the consequences of poor behavior not just the flogging she'll get but in the outside world. Adults you have to let experience those for themselves. A child you can protect from even if it means her bottom will be sore for a few days.

the basic rules for effective discipline as to boundaries and rules

1. it needs to be age appropriate

2. it needs to be clearly understood by the child both when it's announced and when punishment is to be applied for an infraction of the rule.

3. it needs to be fair and reasonable. What that is can be a matter of interpretation. A couple of following guidelines will clarify it. Another thing which can be done is to the extent the child is capable and without forfeiting your authority and responsibility as her guardian is to allow her to participate in setting the rules

4. Punishment needs to be proportional to the offense and consistently and fairly applied. When the child is being prepared for a flogging you need to assess if it's not unreasonable or erratic-- The child should be clear why she's being punished--it can't be that she doesn't know or understand

5. Rules must be both firm and flexible-- flexible doesn't mean they can be ignored at will without consequence but allows for the guardian to consider the particular circumstance and allow the child's input into the reasons for her disobedience-- and thus enable her to better understand the need for correction

6. Corporal punishment should be administered in private. For teenagers if possible it should be done by a parent or guardian of the same gender. This is particularly true if the child is to be unclad when undergoing correction.

Very true

winner01:
Very true

it works better in theory than in practice. It's a guardian's duty to set and enforce boundaries/rules. It's the nature and perhaps (developmental) duty for children to challenge and test those boundaries. Some of it is healthy and good but there are times when the cane or the whip is going to have to be used.

There is or should always be a process which clarifies and allows the child space to reflect on the reasons both before and she receives correction. I confronted our 17 year old a couple of nights ago about her immoral behavior. I told her she would be flogged and sent her to her to room to get ready. Her mother went in to help get her ready. And while doing so reminded her of why she was being flogged. Don't know if it will work. Nothing else has so far but if it does I'd rather have her crying over the pain and the welts on her back from the lashing then the more serious consequences her behavior could lead her into.

AirstarKane:
It only takes the grace of God to train up a child. Some of them react even when you scolding them and that's where the parents gets injured too. I just feel any parent should seek wisdom of God cos there comes a certain age you can't handle them not even in this technology age their brain is so wired to their gadgets and seeing all dese too. I pray I have a good husband ready to raise godly children with me because me I don't want headache @ old age abeg.

You have to have a good strong moral and spiritual foundation. The strap, the cane, the whip won't do much good without it

While I believe in this adage, I also think it may not be necessary for every child. Some kids respond well to verbal correction, others don't. It depends on the child's temperament.

Pidggin:
While I believe in this adage, I also think it may not be necessary for every child. Some kids respond well to verbal correction, others don't. It depends on the child's temperament.

sometimes something more than verbal correction is required.

hvq229:


sometimes something more than verbal correction is required.

True, There is this deliquency tendency in most children, Canning helps to curb this to a large extent.

hvq229:


sometimes something more than verbal correction is required.

Why are you using her/she!?
We know who usually gets the cane more!
Boyyyssss

milychocs:



Why are you using her/she!?
We know who usually gets the cane more!
Boyyyssss

That's because people have a taboo about using the rod of correction on a teenage girl even when her behavior requires it.

milychocs:


Why are you using her/she!? We know who usually gets the cane more! Boyyyssss

lol

winner01:
lol

I've dealt with teenagers all of them girls and they get flogged when they need to be