JJYOU:

 how do u know he wanted to show off his wealth?

goin_crazy:

thanx NL 4 all ur responses even though some were more insultin than objective. please no insults - she's still my wife

i got thru to her @ 3am this morning and she really sounded happy (mus have caught her at a good time). I BEGGED her to come back (for d fifth time) and she refused again. she finally confessed she stopped lovin me 2months into d marriage and wuld've left but for preg and school. she said i was too serious minded. she had felt choked for the last 2yrs & 10months and really needed some space. i asked if she was willin to work on the marriage, and she said NO cause her feelings wuldn't change overnight. she's currently out of town wit some friends and left my baby wit her mum (this kills me). she has scheduled a meetin wit her lawyer for next week and when i asked if she will be willin to tell her lawyer d truth, she laughed at me and said (in her own words) - "don't worry, i know what i will tell my lawyer".

i am currently so depressed and feel like a failure (always been an achiever), not been to work today and already downed a bottle of wine. i really love her still and wuld give anythin to have her back (she's so fine).

maybe i shuld have given her momsy and siblings more money
maybe i shld have spent more time wit her instead of chasin money
maybe i shuld have been more sensitive (whtever dat means)
i guess i was tryin to be a straight and responsible naija husband instead of givin her enuf fun.

i jus dey confused and a bit tipsy,  

goin_crazy:

thanx NL 4 all ur responses even though some were more insultin than objective. please no insults - she's still my wife

i got thru to her @ 3am this morning and she really sounded happy (mus have caught her at a good time). I BEGGED her to come back (for d fifth time) and she refused again. she finally confessed she stopped lovin me 2months into d marriage and wuld've left but for preg and school. she said i was too serious minded. she had felt choked for the last 2yrs & 10months and really needed some space. i asked if she was willin to work on the marriage, and she said NO cause her feelings wuldn't change overnight. she's currently out of town wit some friends and left my baby wit her mum (this kills me). she has scheduled a meetin wit her lawyer for next week and when i asked if she will be willin to tell her lawyer d truth, she laughed at me and said (in her own words) - "don't worry, i know what i will tell my lawyer".

i am currently so depressed and feel like a failure (always been an achiever), not been to work today and already downed a bottle of wine. i really love her still and wuld give anythin to have her back (she's so fine).

maybe i shuld have given her momsy and siblings more money
maybe i shld have spent more time wit her instead of chasin money
maybe i shuld have been more sensitive (whtever dat means)
i guess i was tryin to be a straight and responsible naija husband instead of givin her enuf fun.

i jus dey confused and a bit tipsy,  

DeReloaded:

Quit being dramatic JJYOU. What does "hatred" have to do with anything?  

Then why is he against her getting a job or what else do you do when you get a degree?

You skipped my comment on purpose. If the OP were female, your answer would be completely different,. Admit it.

goin_crazy:

thanx NL 4 all ur responses even though some were more insultin than objective. please no insults - she's still my wife

i got thru to her @ 3am this morning and she really sounded happy (mus have caught her at a good time). I BEGGED her to come back (for d fifth time) and she refused again. she finally confessed she stopped lovin me 2months into d marriage and wuld've left but for preg and school. she said i was too serious minded. she had felt choked for the last 2yrs & 10months and really needed some space. i asked if she was willin to work on the marriage, and she said NO cause her feelings wuldn't change overnight. she's currently out of town wit some friends and left my baby wit her mum (this kills me). she has scheduled a meetin wit her lawyer for next week and when i asked if she will be willin to tell her lawyer d truth, she laughed at me and said (in her own words) - "don't worry, i know what i will tell my lawyer".

i am currently so depressed and feel like a failure (always been an achiever), not been to work today and already downed a bottle of wine. i really love her still and wuld give anythin to have her back (she's so fine).

maybe i shuld have given her momsy and siblings more money
maybe i shld have spent more time wit her instead of chasin money
maybe i shuld have been more sensitive (whtever dat means)
i guess i was tryin to be a straight and responsible naija husband instead of givin her enuf fun.

i jus dey confused and a bit tipsy,  

person can be a responsible husband and still be fun but that's beside the point

Stop thinking money can buy happiness, that's why you're not happy right now. Buying affection doesnt work.

Next time marry an ugly girl

Seriously give her space and stop the pleading. Eventually when you stop hounding her, she'll come around. If not, take it as a lesson learned. Money isnt everything

goin_crazy:

thanx NL 4 all ur responses even though some were more insultin than objective. please no insults - she's still my wife

i got thru to her @ 3am this morning and[b] she really sounded happy (mus have caught her at a good time)[/b]. I BEGGED her to come back (for d fifth time) and she refused again. she finally confessed she stopped lovin me 2months into d marriage and wuld've left but for preg and school. she said i was too serious minded. she had felt choked for the last 2yrs & 10months and really needed some space. i asked if she was willin to work on the marriage, and she said NO cause her feelings wuldn't change overnight. she's currently out of town wit some friends and left my baby wit her mum (this kills me). she has scheduled a meetin wit her lawyer for next week and when i asked if she will be willin to tell her lawyer d truth, she laughed at me and said (in her own words) - "don't worry, i know what i will tell my lawyer".

i am currently so depressed and feel like a failure (always been an achiever), not been to work today and already downed a bottle of wine. i really love her still and wuld give anythin to have her back (she's so fine).

maybe i shuld have given her momsy and siblings more money
maybe i shld have spent more time wit her instead of chasin money
maybe i shuld have been more sensitive (whtever dat means)
i guess i was tryin to be a straight and responsible naija husband instead of givin her enuf fun.

i jus dey confused and a bit tipsy,  

d mum obviously supports her action as she has refused to respond to invitations frm my family for a discussion. we are actually not in good terms due to an earlier incident (she was askin for too much stuff and i decided to ignore her). she insists i come and apologize to her first b4 she intervenes. btw she's a divorcee who raised her kids mostly alone

I am married to a pretty and vain wife and we have a 3yr old daughter

I want us to try for another baby but she has bluntly refused. Reason - she wants to keep her figure and focus on her career for at least 6 yrs!

I suspect she is not interested in any more kids. I am in my early 30s and had hoped to have three kids by 35yrs. At this rate i will be 50yrs b4 she agrees for another child

ha this is d problem wit marrying a fine babe

She has moved out becos of the pressure and d marriage is about to hit d rocks. NL members how do we resolve this? Egba mi o!!

**osisi:

At what point did you know she was vain?
I'm sure you saw this coming at some point but her beauty blinded you.
You'll pick more carefully next time.

.
who says you can't bear children and have a career?
I'm a good example of such.
she's found another man
simple!   [size=15pt]YOU BE WOLI?  FEAR NO DEY LET SOMEBODY TALK FOR NL BECOS SOME FEMI NAZIS GO ABUSE SOMEONE[/size]

!
[size=18pt]she is sick of the marriage and doesn't want to be tied down with 2 kids from your loins.
The marriage is over
you need to accept this reality[/size]  [size=18pt]AWFUL TRUTH. [/size]

.
No
It's the problem with marrying a shallow airhead brought up by a  divorced man-eating mother.
I'm sure you saw the warnings and ignored them

.
You'll be a fool to beg her to return
She's too immature for marriage and will make your life a living hell because she'll move out whenever she doesn't get her way.
she wants to be free because she's unable to handle the sacrifices, compromises and selflessness that comes with marriage and raising a family.
remember she was raised in a household without a man (as you said later) where her mother's words were law.
She sees you as useless afterall her mother raised her without a husband.
And she's treated you as a nobody in her affairs and that of "her" child.

My brother let her be,before you die young

oyb:

@ op

sorry  seems shes an immature woman who you had no business marrying, as she is unwilling to grow up and is looking for a boyfriend, rather than a husband.
her beauty is only skin deep.  


GO AND GET THE DNA TEST DONE.

TOH imho, the highlighted explains everything.

@OP, pull yourself together and prepare for war. otherwise she will continu to fu-ck you over.

davidylan:

Dude, it seems you "love" this woman because she is "so fine".

You think being "fine" is all there is to a woman? sometimes you have to marry "sensible" rather than "fine".

Not to dog on single mom's but offsprings of single mothers see nothing in seperating from spouses even for the flimsiest reasons.

JJYOU:

combination of sensible plus fine my brother. God forbid you begin dey produce another set of OBJ and his kind for us. you have to improve on the next generation.

MRbrownJAY:

@FBS we are all assuming in this story UNTIL WE HEAR THE WIFE'S STORY. i will never take one side of the story to be the truth so we can only speculate about what COULD be the reason for someone to do such thing.poster is only making himself look like an angel.

MRbrownJAY:

try to be realistic,  suddenly now he starts drinking? ahahah yeah right. he probably started drinking WAY before and we all know what drunks are able to do, the poster story makes no sense and by what i previously wrote you can be the judge of that.

MRbrownJAY:

you keep talking about the woman wanting to keep her figure, it's not about FIGURE but about CHOICE. the right to choose what SHE wants for her life. which was 6 more yrs of school.
you asked "how can a woman keep her man in check if she isn't living home"?! well the poster should have thought about that before trying to force the woman for more babies. she got enough and left. in his words,it's all about him. his job, what he wants and his money. marriage is about 2peeps, not one.

MRbrownJAY:

by saying that the primary role of a woman is to have children, it shows me your level of prehistoric ignorance and should join the other two who were ready for the drive-by beating and snatching,  are you telling me that every women should bare children that they LIKE IT OR NOT?! she already did her fair share. stop reading that bible and believe that what happened in biblical time should be done today because then i would be able to marry 100wives and have hundreds of concubines/slaves and any woman would have absolutely NO RIGHT, and sinner would be stoned to death, like in biblical times. wake up!

1. Medically: may be she went through some trauma while pregnant or even bringing up a child. You will need to discuss this with her in a more matured way than nagging over issues of kids. Raising up kids is draining( emotioanally, physically, financially etc) and i bless those with more than two kids.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster,
your story makes less and less sense.
so you said" she finally confessed she stopped lovin me 2months into d marriage and wuld've left but for preg and school. she said i was too serious minded. she had felt choked for the last 2yrs & 10months and really needed some space"

1*you said you came back from abroad 3yrs ago, you were also  married for 3 yrs , yet you have a 3yr old kids/your wife was turned off by you only 2 months into the marriage.
here is my question: either you met your wife abroad during your 9yrs there, she fell pregnant and you decided to come back to 9ja and have the kid or either you came back to 9ja just to marry her but then the numbers don't match.
my point is that IF you had met your wife abroad, i would believe that she would get her degrees THERE rather than after being pregnant IN NIGERIA!!!!!
i suspect you got your family to find a FINE bride and since you didn't really know her, it came back and bit you on the bottom (even that theory doesn't match).
Then you write: not been to work today and already downed a bottle of wine. i really love her still and wuld give anythin to have her back (she's so fine). is that how you deal with your problems?! by downing wine,  i guess you were looking for a "fine" babe and got what you deserved. i don't think you love that woman as this is the FIRST time you talk about having feelings for her. 2 pages ago you only wanted your KID back and was ready to file for abandonment , now suddenly you are in love with her and want her back?! you are making NO SENSE.
NOW you are willing to do ANYTHING, then why don't you first go and apologize to her mother and try to work something out with her. believe me, being against her mother (insulting her the way you do) is not in your favor and rather childish.

then you finally write: maybe i shuld have given her momsy and siblings more money
maybe i shld have spent more time wit her instead of chasin money
maybe i shuld have been more sensitive (whtever dat means)
i guess i was tryin to be a straight and responsible naija husband instead of givin her enuf fun.

that was the funniest part of all, what do you mean by "giving her enuf fun"?!  obviously you really want NLers to be against this person and on your side, might work for some but definitely not with me, you seems to come up with stories along the way. ANYWAY she said she doesn't love you so MOVE ON.
your story as TOO MANY HOLES!!!!!

@FBS we are all assuming in this story UNTIL WE HEAR THE WIFE'S STORY. i will never take one side of the story to be the truth so we can only speculate about what COULD be the reason for someone to do such thing.poster is only making himself look like an angel.
try to be realistic,  suddenly now he starts drinking? ahahah yeah right. he probably started drinking WAY before and we all know what drunks are able to do, the poster story makes no sense and by what i previously wrote you can be the judge of that.
you keep talking about the woman wanting to keep her figure, it's not about FIGURE but about CHOICE. the right to choose what SHE wants for her life. which was 6 more yrs of school.
you asked "how can a woman keep her man in check if she isn't living home"?! well the poster should have thought about that before trying to force the woman for more babies. she got enough and left. in his words,it's all about him. his job, what he wants and his money. marriage is about 2peeps, not one.

by saying that the primary role of a woman is to have children, it shows me your level of prehistoric ignorance and should join the other two who were ready for the drive-by beating and snatching,  are you telling me that every women should bare children that they LIKE IT OR NOT?! she already did her fair share. stop reading that bible and believe that what happened in biblical time should be done today because then i would be able to marry 100wives and have hundreds of concubines/slaves and any woman would have absolutely NO RIGHT, and sinner would be stoned to death, like in biblical times. wake up!

spikedcylinder:


This was what I was going to say while reading through the thread.
Forget the history and dynamics of the issue, if a woman does not want more children, she doesn't want more children. No amount of religious/cultural cajoling should make her look like a demon for not wanting more children.

But after seeing the OP's last post, all I'm going to say is; SORRY. Your marriage is over, just try to accept that and move on with your life.

davidylan:

bro, my definition of sensible also includes fine.

Higher:

@ Poster
I strongly believe in given reasons for someone to something rather than forcing it on him/her. Why nt jst sit her up n discuss ur reasons n what she stand to benefit with her. Who knows she could reason with u n settle for a favorable conclusion.
Don't forget love doesn't,