Have you ever been stuck in a borrow-me loop? Lol, I can already hear some of y'all shouting 'hian! which one be borrow-me loop again o!'

Well, don't be scared. A borrow-me loop has nothing to do with computers, or rocket science, or whatever. It's simply a very messed up situation that over 60% of Nairalanders and Nigerians in general experience nearly everyday in Naija. Okay, let's illustrate with a simple example:

You come home one day, pissed and bored, and missing your babe. Then you begin to REALLY miss her, so you pick up your phone and put a call through. *Ring* *Ring*. She picks. You begin to tell her all the sugary and buttery stuff in this life, just so she would come over. She starts her shakara but then she don dey gree small small...and then...and then..."Sorry, your call credit has been exhausted. Please recharge as soon as possible". Damn! Tf Omg wth am I going to do now?

You dip hand for pocket. Money no dey. You dip hand for trouser, shirt, boxers. Nothing. You start to think and crack your skull until you remember the borrow-me credit thing. "Well, it's only for today, will pay back as soon as I recharge...", you console yourself by saying, and borrow the 200 Naira. You call back. She comes over. You're happy. She's happy. Life is sweet.

Next day you're on your way to school and you collect 1K for the day. You don budget 500 for T-fare, 200 for credit, 300 for lunch. You just remembered you need to check the Whatsapp group for latest info. Your MB don skelewu dey go, so na to buy credit now sure pass. You buy 200 airtime and load it. Then you try subscribing for 50MB plan. "Not enough airtime to execute this plan...". Whaaaat? #124# ... "You have 0 Naira in your main credit". Lol. Wetin happen! My phone don dey smoke weed?

Then slowly, very slowly, you begin to realise the ugly, bitter, sad truth. You have paid back your borrowed credit. Lol. Wtf. I need to check this damn Whatsapp group. I no get any bar again. This is too sad. I need to go online now...you borrow again...


...and again, and again for days and days, until one day, you realise you're in a trap; like a cage but in this case, the cage is your own money. The owners of the network grinning and laughing at your continuous, unending foolishness, and you begin to marvel at the genius of these people; these people who thought of this beyond-brilliant idea to milk the last 20 & 50 Nairas from the already poverty-stricken masses...

...and then, you shake your head in wonder, anger and sadness, and borrow again.

So when do i laugh