I need to speak up before its too late
My mum and dad have been married for 18years now and he doesnt want to get off it,he's 50+ now.
He always drinks alcohol and he comes home late at night and at any slight anger,he flares up.
This just happened tonight.
WE LIVE IN A BLOCK OF FLATS.
our neighbour came to inform us of his arrival around to 10pm this night.
I got to the gate with my little sister to welcome him and he started raining abuses on me for not picking up my calls.i explained that due to the light issues,my phones battery was dead but he didnt want to listen,
we got into the house and he told me to recharge his phone(1000N). My mum sells provision.
When i checked her bag,it wasnt up to,it was multiples of 200 and 100 that were available.I then told him and he told me told me to recharge 500 first, after i did he started shouting that why didnt i recharge 1000 from there,he started insulting my mum,who was in the kitchen all the while. She was trying to save herself by saying She doesnt know what happened about the card.He now started insulting her by saying she gives other people credit but not him. SHe was trying to explain instead he stood up and said he'd stab her and followd her into the kitchen. I begged and begged but he kept hitting her. Then he left her and came to me. He started calling one boy that helps us to on our gen,he said i shoud go outside this night to call him,i tried explaining that their gate would have been closed and so was ours,he pushed me and my lil sister out of the house to go and call the boy. I stayed outside the house for a while cos i was afraid to go out plus it was pitch black.he came outside and started causing,raining insults on me,i ran out of the gate and went to the boy's house but no one answered cos they were all prolly asleep.
My father is a demon and a beast.a drunk.a woman beater,i hate him so much.i dont know what i'll do cos im tempted to kill him one day.i hate the sight of him always beating my mum.im Typing from my room now cos my mum sneaked me in when he went to his room.i wish he could just sleep and never wake up again.the pain is just too much.

I think you should report to the police , I hope your father realizes what he is doing before the damage is irreversible.

He acts like theres this evil spirit controlling him and when he wakes up in the morning,its all gone.Im afraid he may kill my mum for me one day.

podosci:
I think you should report to the police , I hope your father realizes what he is doing before the damage is irreversible.

i think of that too but when i do,i also think of my future.he's the one training me

You are caught in conundrum, At the Moment your father is a necessary evil...Try and reach our to Human rights activist maybe they can help you and your mum.

Gracie100:
He acts like theres this evil spirit controlling him and when he wakes up in the morning,its all gone.Im afraid he may kill my mum for me one day.

Yes, there is. It is the Spirit of the bottle. The spirit takes over whosoever is possessed of it by acting irrationally.
I guess the violence wouldn't stop as long as he keeps drinking himself to lose his senses.

He needs help from breaking the addiction. If not, I am afraid that it will continue till someone is seriously injured.

I love him so much but his incessant drinking its just too bad, im scared of involving the police. Anytime hes around we always end up crying

If you really love your mum report him to the police, so that he will be cautioned.

A family friend has been killed by her husband early this year,her husband of 30yrs use a wooden stool to hit her head,she died a few days later.

Note :the beating has been going on since the onset of the marriage.

Op I really feel sad for you. It hurts me when I read stories like this. Why can't some women leave violent relationships? Why do they put their children through such horror? Why why why?

Op, what state do you reside? Let us know so we can get in contact with organisations that might be able to help.

Does your mum have family at all, mother, father, siblings? I don't want to believe that Nigerian women are this helpless in these kind of situations.

Found this site online. Maybe they can help you. Please contact them. Nobody should live like this.

http://projectalertnig.org/contact.html
http://projectalertnig.org/about.html

Contact
Project Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)

Address: 21, Akinsanya Street
Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
Ojodu - Berger
P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone/E-mail: 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
projectalert@projectalertnig.org
info@projectalertnig.org

ABUJA OFFICE
26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone: 234 -8708618

There is no natural remedy for his drunkenness... Ur mum shouldn't act weak in this, instead she should control him. Nw d next time he gets drunk and comes bak knockn late at night, he should sleep outside dr till mornin. The tables need to be turned!

My mum has been keeping this secret from her family members but now,she's about to tell them,

Stillfire:
Does your mum have family at all, mother, father, siblings? I don't want to believe that Nigerian women are this helpless in these kind of situations.

Found this site online. Maybe they can help you. Please contact them. Nobody should live like this.
http://projectalertnig.org/contact.html
http://projectalertnig.org/about.html
Contact
Project Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)
Address: 21, Akinsanya Street
Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
Ojodu - Berger
P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
Lagos, Nigeria
Telephone/E-mail: 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
projectalert@projectalertnig.org
info@projectalertnig.org
ABUJA OFFICE
26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone: 234 -8708618

It hasn't gotten to this, the issue can still be resolved amicably without involving any agency.

op tell ur mum to inform his kinsmen, they will be able to instill a sense of responsibility into him. She should also tell her people, why is she hiding it? It's better to inform relatives before taking the issue to any agency.

Cutehector:
There is no natural remedy for his drunkenness... Ur mum shouldn't act weak in this, instead she should control him. Nw d next time he gets drunk and comes bak knockn late at night, he should sleep outside dr till mornin. The tables need to be turned!

Agreed.
Lock him out until he sobers up.
Also your mom should report him to a higher authority.
I read where I said u hate him when drunk and love him when sober.
I feel for u.
This is indeed sad.

Gracie100:
My mum has been keeping this secret from her family members but now,she's about to tell them,

Agreed.
She should go ahead.

Gracie100:
My mum has been keeping this secret from her family members but now,she's about to tell them,

She should tell his family members and her family too.
Women shouldn't hide this kind of behaviour.It could turn out very bad.
Your father should get help to break his addiction.

Sighs# not again


Pele op. Please yoiy and your sister and mom should leave the house for him temporarily till he is ready to change. You guys can go and stay wiy your maternal grandma or any of your mothers siblings. It's because he's seeing you guys every day and sees you people as the ones who he can transfer all his aggression and anger on thatsy why he's misbehaving. When he doesn't see anyone to comfortt him or anyone he can shout on.or when he looses his job he'll come back to his senses

they say a fool at 40 is a fool forever but a 50 something uear old


Smh . KanwuliaJara come put mouth

Gracie100:

i think of that too but when i do,i also think of my future.he's the one training me

Seems he's the one taking care of all the major family expenses, that's why it's so hard for your mum to act... too bad..


I think you should go ahead with the plan, I mean involving family members. .. He really needs to be cautioned soon as he may actually end up stabbing your mum as he has said.. Alcohol can make a person do anything. .

SAMBARRY:
Sighs# not again


Pele op. Please yoiy and your sister and mom should leave the house for him temporarily till he is ready to change. You guys can go and stay wiy your maternal grandma or any of your mothers siblings. It's because he's seeing you guys every day and sees you people as the ones who he can transfer all his aggression and anger on thatsy why he's misbehaving. When he doesn't see anyone to comfortt him or anyone he can shout on.or when he looses his job he'll come back to his senses

they say a fool at 40 is a fool forever but a 50 something uear old


Smh . KanwuliaJara come put mouth

You hia say I come from "Chibok"?
Abeg no spoil my day o!
Shioooor!

Am so sorry for you are goin through Op,please be patient as all things will end in praise some day.Can u and ur sis lock him in d next time?sinz hes drunk u can overpower him,once he strts hitting ur mom,yall shld push him into his room and lock him up cos if u lock him outside,d olofofos might start blabbling!

snakebeat:

It hasn't gotten to this, the issue can still be resolved amicably without involving any agency.

op tell ur mum to inform his kinsmen, they will be able to instill a sense of responsibility into him. She should also tell her people, why is she hiding it? It's better to inform relatives before taking the issue to any agency.

The father is well into his 50s. A 50 year old man is well entrenched/established in his habits. He would only give up if he falls sick, break his hands or legs or waist.