coogaluta:
Depressed and can't sleep at night? Dem never born the man

Talk to your guy, but most importantly-follow your instinct!
Meeting family these days is not a criteria
Man wey go misbehave go still misbehave

coogaluta:
Depressed and can't sleep at night? Dem never born the man

Talk to your guy, but most importantly-follow your instinct!
Meeting family these days is not a criteria
Man wey go misbehave go still misbehave

Slickest:

Dats cold!!
Den wots d essence of a relationship?
Sex?
Money?

dinachi:
Getting married is not necessarily a sign of love! Let me repeat for emphasis, marriage as it is today does not necessarily mean that the man loves you. Again, do not ask him about his marital plans for you. Most men will bolt after that. We like always to take the lead but then women are smart too. I have a couple of moves I believe if you make you might be able to ascertain his mind towards marriage.
Introduce him to your family instead! But not as your fiancé, rather as the only man in your life. Your family might seek clarification just keep silent and watch him answer them.
His answers will give you a clue.
Secondly, as often as is possible attend all the wedding events you have with him BUT never directly ask him his plans.
Give it a little time and your guy will open up. Good luck!

freecocoa:
Actually it's not, that's a very valid question.

And yea, not all relationships end or should even end in marriage, that's why people ask each other what their intentions are.

I suggest the OP should ask her man what his plans are.

edwife:


That's what i think too,she is not a baby and her desire is to start a family-i don't see her as desperate but that is her wish.She should sit him down and ask him where does he see them going from here?There are question you ask indirectly.

freecocoa:
Anyone that thinks her desperate has to be a joker.

People are allowed to have wishes and at 30, dating a man for 3 years, I think she's since earned the right to ask such questions.

edwife:


This is a great idea but problem is what if he is the type that won't go to family gatherings with you.
Yea men like taking the lead but don't you think if you are in a relationship with a mature lady and after dating for 3 years,you never discuss any future plan with her,it's kinda gross?

Don't get me wrong here,but we live in a society whereby a "25" years old woman should be able to at least be in a promising relationship that might lead soon or later to marriage.

angieberry:
I can see that desperation has set in. Men do not liked to be rushed into marriage. If you're in such a hurry, why don't you give him "the talk", ask him about his future plans concerning you and if marriage is not there, move on to other men that May be ready to marry you.

dinachi:

To most men, hearing your lady talk about marriage plans sets off an alarm! Like this girl is desperate. I tell you it is not sexy at all. It cheapens the girl.

angieberry:
I can see that desperation has set in. Men do not liked to be rushed into marriage. If you're in such a hurry, why don't you give him "the talk", ask him about his future plans concerning you and if marriage is not there, move on to other men that May be ready to marry you.

freecocoa:
Anyone that thinks her desperate has to be a joker.
People are allowed to have wishes and at 30, dating a man for 3 years, I think she's since earned the right to ask such questions.

dinachi:
Getting married is not necessarily a sign of love! Let me repeat for emphasis, marriage as it is today does not necessarily mean that the man loves you. Again, do not ask him about his marital plans for you. Most men will bolt after that. We like always to take the lead but then women are smart too. I have a couple of moves I believe if you make you might be able to ascertain his mind towards marriage.
Introduce him to your family instead! But not as your fiancé, rather as the only man in your life. Your family might seek clarification just keep silent and watch him answer them.
His answers will give you a clue.
Secondly, as often as is possible attend all the wedding events you have with him BUT never directly ask him his plans.
Give it a little time and your guy will open up. Good luck!

ireneidiva:
Wow. Your only reasonable comment on nairaland!

Upnepaa:
This a very poor attempt from a female,please what is the essence of entering a relationship without planning to wed i mean it is like going to school with the intention that you don't want to get a certificate,everything we does in life should be utilised to its maximum advantage,entering a rlship without the intention of marriage brings about the theory of use and dump just sex,sex and nothing and at the later end the feminine gender is the loser simply because she had turn herself to a sex machine to guy,in essence every relationship should lead to marriage,or what is the essence of entering the r/ship in the first place

ZebaReba:
I'm depressed and can't sleep all thru the night. Ive been thinking of what to do with my life. After dating for 3 years, I am yet to be introduced to his family. My bf and his bro are the only ones here and the rest of his family lives back home in nigeria. His bro lives in another city so we've never met and they're not close so im not bothered about that. even when his family comes, still nothing. he cant even pick calls in their presence. no mention of anything private at all as if there's a problem somewhere.

Should I move on or am i supposed to bring it up to him? i haven't told my family about him too because i dont know what he's up to after all these years. I've been fine with it until i read that toke makinwa's situation and i dont want to end up like that. Other men have been asking me out and i keep turning them down. pls advise me like your sister.

im 30 and he's 31.

freecocoa:
Actually it's not, that's a very valid question.

And yea, not all relationships end or should even end in marriage, that's why people ask each other what their intentions are.

I suggest the OP should ask her man what his plans are.

dre11:



Happy birthday to you

ZebaReba:
I'm depressed and can't sleep all thru the night. Ive been thinking of what to do with my life. After dating for 3 years, I am yet to be introduced to his family. My bf and his bro are the only ones here and the rest of his family lives back home in nigeria. His bro lives in another city so we've never met and they're not close so im not bothered about that. even when his family comes, still nothing. he cant even pick calls in their presence. no mention of anything private at all as if there's a problem somewhere.

Should I move on or am i supposed to bring it up to him? i haven't told my family about him too because i dont know what he's up to after all these years. I've been fine with it until i read that toke makinwa's situation and i dont want to end up like that. Other men have been asking me out and i keep turning them down. pls advise me like your sister.

im 30 and he's 31.

PreciousBro:
This is why a woman should accept a man for the right reason, if by 30yrs as you claim you are and have dated for 3yrs, you still don't know where you stand in and are headed to with your supposed spouse ,then you have failed as a woman, check your self well, you probably aren't marriage material,(that may be a cold sad truth,not my fault and not my business) and all of a sudden you realise your biological clock isn't wait-friendly. You now want a serious fantasised relationship with this said guy just because you want the big ol marriage"(something y'all pretend isn't necessary) regardless of whether you love him or not...

Ask your self, think, recollect how you both met, where you serious from the onset ? Was it something that you remotely thought could ignite the "tie the knot" gesture in the future ? All these are questions you need to ask your self and not deceive your self ,then you'll get your genuine answer,otherwise any move you make now only portrays your desperate self in magnified spectrum...

I know for a fact that no sane man would like to waste his precious time as well as a good girl's being in a relationship that would yield futility at the end,so except you wanna be a man,buy a ring and take to the next guy and do the big ol proposal yourself I suggest you shut it, put your self together, be a good girl and earn the "will you mary me" right from the man otherwise you become a yoruba girl because O.Y.O will be your state...

Thank You!

coogaluta:


why keep a lady for 3 years if she's not 'marriage material'?
Isn't that callous?

PreciousBro:


If you read my post very well you'd know I gave credence on "Good guys" not wanting to waste their time on foolish girls ,so if that was a question, I suggest you direct it to the right person not me,I am not the one in a futile relationship with her.

coogaluta:


so, it's safe to assume that it's bad guys that waste time on girls, right?
If good guys don't waste time on foolish girls, I suppose they don't on wise girls either, it must be that the guys who waste time are bad guys?


Just tryna get your stand point straight here, no need to get all defensive, ok?

PreciousBro:


Madam, all this good guy good girl talk has nothing to do with this thread. All that is written here is desperation as far as I can discern.

3yrs is not the zenith of the numbers of years I have heard,and there is no one wasting anyone's time. If marriage is so important to the Op, I already suggested she proposes to the new guy she'd catch next or stay put ,be good and earn it from this one she has ,or should I have said she should kill her self ?

Its not only bad guys that can tell a desperate girl, good guys also have senses and they do what they feel works for them, what you should be asking the OP if you have her interest at heart is ,is she deserving of a proposal ? Or do you think anyone should just marry anyone regardless of love, moral background etc just because they shared time together ?

coogaluta:


You keep parambulating........

coogaluta:


If this lady does not deserve to be wifed as you have put it,

coogaluta:
why has he spent 3 years of his life with her? Why not leave her and go for a woman that deserves it? KAPUT?

PreciousBro:


Please caution your self ,I wouldn't sound like you now, it'd be messy for you and this thread.

Where did I put it that she doesn't deserve to be wifed ?

I stated she should ask her self if she's marriage material,please read again and this time with your reading glasses as well as someone to assist you in case,so you don't misquote me again.

This sounds like a question for her and the supposed boyfriend and definitely not me.