Some say looks aren't everything. Fortunately, I'm not some as I only partially agree with that premise, I do have 3 physical appearance criteria for a potential date:

1. You Must Look Better Than Me
I'm not the best looking guy in the world so this is definitely not too much to ask for... Besides, it sounds a lot better than saying 'you cannot be uglier than Precious from Lord of The Rings and I am in no way insinuating that I am as ugly as Precious! God forbid! In all my relationships, I solemnly promise to make the woman 'lucky' in so many other ways but never when it comes to looks...I want to be the lucky one in that department. I want people to ask, "Damn, how did you get her?" It's an automatic disqualification once people start asking me, "Damn, how did she get you?"

2. I Have To Be Able To Lift You...Comfortably
Why? I'm dancer, specifically, an Argentinean tango dancer. As a nuevo or new age dancer, there's quite a lot of lifts and twirls involved. I need a partner I can nuevo tango and comfortably lift without having to pray for additional strength from God! Fine, I'm lying! I just needed a more polite way to say the that you can't be fatter than black Precious from the 2009 movie Precious. You can't even be half as fat! She was really big! Besides, the last thing I want is to take dates away from the fat market...That's definitely not fair to fat guys! Another lie...please just don't be fat! This section calls for a disclaimer: I have nothing against fat people! I have a lot of fat friends (now I'm stealing from the famous 'I am not a racist' credibility statement: I have black friends!)

3. You Cannot Have a Good Long-Term Memory
Research shows that people with good memories are extremely good liars...an excellent memory not only allow them to quickly fabricate stories, but also provide them with the brain capacity to retain and build on these stories. Knowing that I'm one of those people, I can't imagine having to deal with a female version! And for those smart Alec that'd argue that memories are not physical, let me assure you that neuroscientists at MIT have discovered that memories are physical and can be reactivated. Look it up!

Anyways, once the damsel has pass all three of these easily attainable physical criteria, we can then proceed to the intangible criteria assuming that I pass her!

*This is simply for humor...hopefully no one takes it to heart! Have a great weekend everyone.

Source: http://churific.com/physicalappearance/

Copied from a Foreign Blog.


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Slimzjoe:
Copied from a Foreign Blog.


Nxt

Yes, but that foreign blog is actually mine! churific.com along with Humoredin.com Thanks for reading.

but.... I don't want to date you.... why are u telling me?

Thinking............