In every home, it's easy to sling around words without
thinking. The thing is, words can have long lasting
effects, especially on your children. The words you use
with your children can either build them up or
destroy their self esteem. It's especially important
that you think about the words you use when you
discipline your children so you help them to move on
and truly learn from their mistakes. While you've heard
the old saying about sticks and stones, words really can
be hurtful, especially to kids. Here is a closer look at the
how words affect your children and how you can
change the things you say to your children to help
empower your child.

Why What You Say is So Important

You may be asking yourself, "why is what I say to my
children so important?" Well, there are a variety of
reasons that what you say becomes very important to
your children. First of all, you are an influence on your
children. The things you say are the things they are
going to grow up saying. Think about the words and
phrases you use each day. Are these really things that
you want your kids saying? If not, it's time for you to
change the words your using.

Another reason that what you say to your kids is
important is because your kids look up to you. Your
approval or disapproval really means something to
them. Your words have the ability to easily hurt your
children, even if you don't realize it. Those words that
you fling at them in frustration may be words that they
remember for the rest of their lives. Do you really want
your children remembering the harsh and negative
words you used with them for the rest of their lives? If
not, it's time to make a change in the way you're
speaking to your child and the words you are using.
Using the Right Words When Disciplining Your Child
Often it's when you discipline your children where
some of the wrong words slip out. Sure, proper
discipline is important to your child's behavior, and it's
also important to their self esteem as well. A child that
is allowed to get away with anything does not feel
loved. Your children do need boundaries and they need
to be corrected when they do something that is not
acceptable. It's just HOW you do it that is so important.
When you do discipline your child, you need to
communicate to them with your words that you are not
upset with them, but that you do not like what they did.
Instead of labeling your child as "bad," you can instead
talk to them about the behavior and how it is
inappropriate. Don't tell your child that they are a bad
child for their actions, but do let them know that what
they did is not acceptable. It's also important that you
let them know how much you love them when you
discipline them.

Use positive words when you discipline your child as
well. Instead of using words that make them feel like a
failure, use words that let them know you know that
they can do better. Instead of saying "you know you
shouldn't torment your little sister," say something like
"I know you can treat your sister better because usually
you get along great." This way you let them know that
what they did was wrong, but you also give them the
idea that they can do better, which is a positive
message to give to your children.

Praising Your Child with Positive Words

Another thing to consider when it comes to the words
we use with our children is the words you use when
praising your child. Praise is just as important as
discipline is for your child. Praise is a great way that
you can help to build up the self esteem of your child.
However, you don't want to praise your child in a way
that makes them dependent on you and your praise for
their self esteem.

Avoid praising your child with evaluations. When you
praise your child by evaluating what they are doing,
you can easily make them dependent upon having your
approval. You need to praise your children in ways that
helps them to see their own strengths. Instead of
evaluating what they do, give praise that is descriptive,
describing the great thing that they have done. Instead
of saying "that is a beautiful picture you colored,"
which can make them feel embarrassed and may even
make them deny the praise, you can say, "Wow, you
colored that picture, stayed in the lines, and used a lot
of beautiful colors." More than likely this will bring your
child to the realization that they did a good job and
your child will end up praising himself.
Positive Words and Phrases that Will Empower Your
Child

All through your child's life, it is important that you use
positive words and phrases that are going to build up
and empower your child. Wondering which words you
should start saying to your children to help build them
up? Here is a look at several great words and phrases
you can use instead of their negative counter parts.
- Instead of saying "You should" say "You can"
- Instead of saying "try" say "do your best"
- Instead of saying "do not forget" say "please
remember"
- Instead of saying "I'm no good" say "I can do
better"
- Instead of saying "you're irritable" say "you're
sensitive"
- Instead of saying "you're being selfish" say "you
can share more"
- Instead of saying you are naughty" say "You can
behave in a better way"

Cool tips,OP.

Nice tips, over to parents and would-be parents

Boldly and proudly: I'm raising mine

Samblessed I admire your positive posts on this website.. you are truly one to be emulated.. thanks once again for this.

You want to raise fruits? If a child is being silly, they should be told without mincing words. It is because of proliferation of ideas in this thread that the slightest criticism is regarded as 'hate speech'.

Telling people to say "you're sensitive" instead of "you're irritable" is utter bvllshit oops, I should have said it's "cattle dung" abi? FOH.