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What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Arami92: 1:21pm On Jul 11, 2015
ihedinobi2:


Excellent question, in my own opinion.

You'll notice the women in Sagamite's opening post were blaming some people who 'told' them all manner of things that led them to behaving in the way that brought them all the misfortune they suffer. Someone will always try to control you like that. It is important to keep in mind that in the end, you have to make the decision yourself. Your parents must never be underrated by you but you must learn to take responsibility for yourself and to help them accept that their role as parents is to empower you to answer for yourself in life's various challenges.

About the middle ground, I think all I can say is that a woman's loyalty and ability to participate in decision-making are both invaluable to a sensible man.



See that's where my confusion sometimes lies...I love my parents and I know they will never steer me wrong, and even the bible says to seek wise council...and if majority of my elders are telling me to stop worrying about men..then I don't get it. One of my biggest fears is that ill wind up single or settling in old age.. I'm thinking now of relocating to a city with many Nigerians so that maybe in the process of furthering my education I can meet a nice guy..

Thank you, great response!
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by ihedinobi2: 3:07pm On Jul 11, 2015
Arami92:




See that's where my confusion sometimes lies...I love my parents and I know they will never steer me wrong, and even the bible says to seek wise council...and if majority of my elders are telling me to stop worrying about men..then I don't get it. One of my biggest fears is that ill wind up single or settling in old age.. I'm thinking now of relocating to a city with many Nigerians so that maybe in the process of furthering my education I can meet a nice guy..

Thank you, great response!

That's a good thought. I think that getting out there is a good idea. And that it is extremely good to keep your parents and elders as a part of your decisions. They're invaluable to you. But don't assume that they're always right. I'm glad you think highly enough of the Bible to quote it. Use it as your litmus test for every piece of advice you are given. Where you find your parents and elders at variance with the Bible, you know that the Bible should win out in preference.

Also, the idea that romance distracts from your goals is actually quite wrong. I thought I should point that out. Think of your pursuits as a destination you want to arrive at. If they are, then taking on a travel companion headed the same way will not distract you. Rather, it will encourage you and motivate you even when you are too tired or beaten to keep going. That is really what romance offers: a friend that is always there and committed to helping you get where you need to go. So, while the dating game is full of neck-breaking falls waiting at every corner, one man who is committed to you like that is worth being with if you find his goals worthy of your support and in agreement with yours. He will help you and if you two play it right and according to the Bible you will walk down the aisle and make a great life together.

I'm much honored I could help at all. smiley

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Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by 3DCYCLOPS: 4:38pm On Jul 11, 2015
You beg dem girls to date you...later on they be begging you to marry them #Lifeisfair grin

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Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 5:28pm On Jul 11, 2015
Insidous:


Ewww, I will passtongue

How are you gonna eat that pizza? Pepper!
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 5:37pm On Jul 11, 2015
olukenzo:


How are you gonna eat that pizza? Pepper!

That is sweet pepper (the one we call ‘Bawa') smiley
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 5:40pm On Jul 11, 2015
Insidous:


That is sweet pepper (the one we call ‘Bawa') smiley

Ah adupe, I thought atarodo.

But, Ramadan...?
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 5:59pm On Jul 11, 2015
olukenzo:


Ah adupe, I thought atarodo.

But, Ramadan...?

It waa for Sahur and Ramadan is going on fine. Thanks

1 Like

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by mablie(m): 12:19am On Jul 12, 2015
I like Sagamite because he is intelligent and unique.He really is quite special isn't he?.I truly am in awe of him

3 Likes

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 2:25pm On Jul 12, 2015
mablie:
I like Sagamite because he is intelligent and unique.He really is quite special isn't he?.I truly am in awe of him







Notyourb1tch? undecided

1 Like

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 4:21pm On Jul 12, 2015
Anti loreal campaign? grin
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Notyourb1tch(f): 6:50pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:








Notyourb1tch? undecided
why are you mentioning me? You could not possibly think that she is me? undecided
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 8:10pm On Jul 12, 2015
andromida:
Anti loreal campaign? grin

I am the General Secretary of the Anti-L'Oreal Coalition. grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 8:14pm On Jul 12, 2015
Notyourb1tch:
why are you mentioning me? You could not possibly think that she is me? undecided

No I did not think he was you.

Just calling you to witness, so as to re-emphasise my point that when you attack me, never attack me from that angle as there is no chink in my armour there. undecided

As I said back then, you are new to Nairaland, so you did not know.
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Notyourb1tch(f): 8:23pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:


No I did not think he was you.

Just calling you to witness, so as to re-emphasise my point that when you attack me, never attack me from that angle as there is no chink in my armour there. undecided

As I said back then, you are new to Nairaland, so you did not know.

So basically you are proud of the fact that some gay guy admires you grin grin. Wow Mr Fuku Faka Fuku I think you must be losing your 'charm'.
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 8:29pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:


I am the General Secretary of the Anti-L'Oreal Coalition. grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Why are you campaigning against such goodness? Its time to retire tongue
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by MarryMeee: 8:40pm On Jul 12, 2015
sonofananimal:
PEOPLE STILL DEY DATE NAIJA WOMEN AT THIS AGE TIME undecided
your father did and unfortunately she ended up with a fool for a son.

2 Likes

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 8:50pm On Jul 12, 2015
Notyourb1tch:


So basically you are proud of the fact that some gay guy admires you grin grin. Wow Mr Fuku Faka Fuku I think you must be losing your 'charm'.

What relevance does his sexuality have with recognising intellect?

I can't lose my charm. cool


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3FdccEkCF8&

5 Likes

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 8:51pm On Jul 12, 2015
andromida:


Why are you campaigning against such goodness? Its time to retire tongue

I will never retire until I win. angry

tongue
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 9:08pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:


I will never retire until I win. angry

tongue

Ohhhhkay but what do you want to win?

Because you already know we are worth it cheesy so what is there to win?
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 9:23pm On Jul 12, 2015
andromida:


Ohhhhkay but what do you want to win?

Because you already know we are worth it cheesy so what is there to win?

We need to end self over-valuation. angry

grin grin grin grin grin
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 9:25pm On Jul 12, 2015
Interesting read. I think this further highlights the point that the balance of opportunities is tilted against our women and societal reward system is highly flawed and often leaves focused dedicated goal driven females like Arami92 with the short end of the stick.

I think the middle ground is for our ladies to keep an open mind at their peak periods and make do with options that make marital and career fulfilment mutually inclusive . I certainly do not support the idea of surrendering your goals and dreams on the altar of marital convenience...

6 Likes

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 9:29pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:


We need to end self over-valuation. angry

grin grin grin grin grin


Lol. Self over valuation is never good so I agree with you.

Have you noticed how men try to over value themselves these days competing with chics for the feminine spot sad

Yeah we need to stop self over valuation. I totally agree cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Notyourb1tch(f): 9:30pm On Jul 12, 2015
tolusan:
Interesting read. I think this further highlights the point that the balance of opportunities is tilted against our women and societal reward system is highly flawed and often leaves focused dedicated goal driven females like Arami92 with the short end of the stick.

I think the middle ground is for our ladies to keep an open mind at their peak periods and make do with options that make marital and career fulfilment mutually inclusive . I certainly do not support the idea of surrendering your goals and dreams on the altar of marital convenience...
I like this....

3 Likes

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 9:36pm On Jul 12, 2015
andromida:



Lol. Self over valuation is never good so I agree with you.

Have you noticed how men try to over value themselves these days competing with chics for the feminine spot sad

Yeah we need to stop self over valuation. I totally agree cheesy cheesy

We finally agree on something.

My God! There is hope for Israel and Palestine. grin grin grin grin grin grin

The first girl here is an example of how I respond to girls that over-value themselves. grin

https://www.nairaland.com/1089625/worth-reading-white-womans-opinion/1#12826823
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Nobody: 10:12pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:


We finally agree on something.

My God! There is hope for Israel and Palestine. grin grin grin grin grin grin

The first girl here is an example of how I respond to girls that over-value themselves. grin

https://www.nairaland.com/1089625/worth-reading-white-womans-opinion/1#12826823

Israel and Palestine? Was it ever that bad? grin

Yeah we all prefer people with warm attitude. Sometimes a girl is just having a bad day also it takes some people longer time to warm up.

Be gentle with the gals you might just miss out. tongue
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by mablie(m): 11:12pm On Jul 12, 2015
-
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by mablie(m): 11:16pm On Jul 12, 2015
Sagamite:








Notyourb1tch? undecided
Goodevening my good man.I log into this site specifically to read only your posts.I'm always enlightened and entertained by them.Thank you for being you sire

1 Like

Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Notyourb1tch(f): 1:38am On Jul 13, 2015
mablie:
I am a gay guy because I gave Caesar what belongs to Caesar?Or do you believe for labelling me as allegedly gay,my views about Sagamite are inferior and erroneous?Like many monickers on this website,you possess a junk mentality
Sorry if I offended you. I saw a number of comments of yours and you kept on talking about gay this and that so I assumed you were one. I didn't mean it in a bad way even if you are gay. I don't discriminate smiley
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Obalende: 2:11am On Jul 13, 2015
Arami92:


So question,

I'm a 23 year old woman... I very much desire to be married one day. Even now at this age my heart yearns to meet that special someone. BUT...my parents and many others keep advising me that now is not the time for love..that I should focus on my career, make sure I'm successful and independent so that I never end up depending on any man...I've heard many say that men want women who are assets not liabilities! So with that advice the options I have is to put chasing love on hold and chase a career, most good careers take much time and dedication. So the average woman who wants to be a ceo,medical doctor, phd holder, lawyer, etc..won't have arrived to her destination until about 30...so now these same women are being punished?! What am I to do..how do you ensure success in your career and still have a successful marriage.
It's like woman are in. Double bind, we are encouraged to be strong independent successful and self reliant while we are young, only to be punished for it later..while men who are encouraged to do the same reap benefits from waiting and establishing themselves before settling down...

I essentially have two groups of friends. My single and driven girls! Who are working very hard to make something of themselves..and my not so driven girls who are dating..many of them living with their boyfriends and mainly supporting His dream hoping he will finally pop the question..

Where is the middle ground??

Please dont pay any attention to the post showing you an older girl looking good. that girl was just lucky oh, you may not hv that kind of luck...

The fundamental mistake most people make in Nigeria is to believe in formalized marriage, if two ppl were to get together and pray to their God to bless their union, they are married. period. no big weddings, nothing like that. most ppl dont know wat marriage is.

Now being 23, you can meet a "boyfriend" and commit to each other. You are actually a couple when you do that you dont need to hold a ceremony. All you need is your union to be recognized by your deity.

You can continue your medical or law school or high flying career with this person supporting you. that marriage and career have to be mutually exclusive is a doctrine of demons! God made a help meet for adam not someone to help him when he was already there. You can help each other out.

The issue with waiting until girls are 30 is they r competing with younger girls; anybody that tells u older is better is deceiving you. with good searching you will find younger girls that embody the so called maturity of older girls.

so you catch the drift?

be responsible for yourself, pray then put yourself out there. Your man is there to support you and your career not to hinder it as is most often portrayed.

You get married unoficcially at 23, the kids can come in when you are 28! It doesnt hv to be immediately.

hope this helps you.

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Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by mablie(m): 7:55am On Jul 13, 2015
Notyourb1tch:
Sorry if I offended you. I saw a number of comments of yours and you kept on talking about gay this and that so I assumed you were one. I didn't mean it in a bad way even if you are gay. I don't discriminate smiley
No problem.I also apologise for my brash response to your post
Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 8:45am On Jul 13, 2015
Obalende:


Please dont pay any attention to the post showing you an older girl looking good. that girl was just lucky oh, you may not hv that kind of luck...

The fundamental mistake most people make in Nigeria is to believe in formalized marriage, if two ppl were to get together and pray to their God to bless their union, they are married. period. no big weddings, nothing like that. most ppl dont know wat marriage is.

Now being 23, you can meet a "boyfriend" and commit to each other. You are actually a couple when you do that you dont need to hold a ceremony. All you need is your union to be recognized by your deity.

You can continue your medical or law school or high flying career with this person supporting you. that marriage and career have to be mutually exclusive is a doctrine of demons! God made a help meet for adam not someone to help him when he was already there. You can help each other out.

The issue with waiting until girls are 30 is they r competing with younger girls; anybody that tells u older is better is deceiving you. with good searching you will find younger girls that embody the so called maturity of older girls.

so you catch the drift?

be responsible for yourself, pray then put yourself out there. Your man is there to support you and your career not to hinder it as is most often portrayed.

You get married unoficcially at 23, the kids can come in when you are 28! It doesnt hv to be immediately.

hope this helps you.

One would have assumed that by using the term "exception" and stating what happens to "most" you would have clicked that it was already stated to her that it is not the norm and only if she was lucky. undecided


Arami92, more details for you from the catalogue of old posts.

https://www.nairaland.com/1204511/what-reasons-high-level-30/9#14566107

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Re: What Sagamite Has Been Saying For Years About How Women Operate And Lose! by Sagamite(m): 8:46am On Jul 13, 2015
Notyourb1tch:
Sorry if I offended you. I saw a number of comments of yours and you kept on talking about gay this and that so I assumed you were one. I didn't mean it in a bad way even if you are gay. I don't discriminate smiley

Wow!

You are learning well.

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