Bill Jenkins's memories of the childhood abuse he suffered are as sharp as the pain that accompanies them.

He remembers the diamond pattern on the linoleum bathroom floor tiles, the Moby Dick mural on the wall, the door handle which seemed so high up next to his six-year-old frame.

He vividly remembers, too, how he was expected to bath and touch his naked abuser, an ordeal which left him confused and ashamed, and changed the course of his life. 'The vision in my head is crystal clear,' he says.

What took place in the bathroom of that house in Sussex 50 years ago is shocking enough, but what makes it even harder to comprehend is that Bill's abuser was his foster mother - a woman entrusted with caring for him when his own parents couldn't.

'My lasting feelings about my childhood are feelings of fear,' says the 55-year-old from Thorpe in Surrey.

'I was always frightened of her and what she forced me to endure affected the rest of my life, but as a society we have a mental block about female abusers. We are shocked when we see it happens. We can't believe that women are capable of such things.'

But the stereotypical belief that sex abuse is a male crime was shattered last week by an astonishing report from ChildLine which revealed that the number of children reporting sexual abuse by women has doubled over the past year.

The latest figures from the children's telephone helpline show a 132 per cent rise in complaints of female sexual assaults. Where the children specified the gender of their abuser, nearly a quarter of all calls involved women assailants and the majority of those involved the callers' own mothers.
And while girls are still more likely to be sexually abused by a man than a woman, the opposite is true for boys. Research for the helpline found that boys were more likely to say they had been abused by a woman than by a man.

'This report has shattered common myths about sexual abuse,' says ChildLine founder and president Esther Rantzen.

'We're trying to reach out to boys because we've always been concerned about two things: one is that four times as many girls were ringing ChildLine as boys, and the other is that suicide is the most common reason for young death among late teenage boys and early 20s young men.

'The obvious conclusion is that they are allowing really distressing problems to build up without actually being able to ask for help.

'So it became very important to ChildLine that boys felt able to ring us - and more of them are. But what it's revealing is how many of them are being sexually abused by women.'

Historically, of course, it has been hard for society to accept that women abuse children at all. This is something which, according to Bill Jenkins, makes it even harder for boys to come forward and speak about what happened to them.

'What chap, regardless of age, wants to admit his abuser is a woman?' he says. 'It's not something that men will readily admit to. It implies you are a wimp.'

This emotional conflict is echoed by the voices of more recent victims, desperate boys and young teenagers who turn to ChildLine for help. Many of them fear being seen as unmasculine and worry that what is happening to them will be dismissed as a teenage rite of passage.

'I've been having sex with my aunt - she's 28,' says one 15-year-old caller, in a harrowing transcript of his call. 'I want it to stop 'cos I know it's wrong and my mother would go crazy if she knew but we keep doing it.'

'Experts have known for years that women are just as able to abuse children as men are'

And another 15-year-old: 'Sometimes when Mum is very drunk she touches me and tries to get me to touch her. It makes me feel really weird. It's not right.'

Following the case of Vanessa George, who pleaded guilty last month to seven counts of sexual abuse and distributing pornographic pictures of children at the nursery where she worked, the traditionally-held image of women as carers and nurturers, incapable of behaving in such a despicable fashion with a child, is being challenged as never before.

'Years ago, people were very shocked to hear that children were abused at all,' says child psychotherapist Diana Cant, who works with the victims of female sex abuse.

'The same is now true about female sex abuse. People can hardly bear to think about it or get their minds around it. We want to push it away. It flies in the face of the image of mothers as carers.

'It's important for people to realise that it does happen and, as we do that, it becomes easier for survivors to talk about it. Many children go through life believing they are the only people to whom this has happened. There's an enormous therapeutic benefit in realising that they are not alone.

'For it to be more publicly recognised is enormously important in helping people get help.'

Experts have known for years that women are just as able to abuse children as men are. Detective Chief Inspector Graham Hill, of the Child Exploitation And Online Protection Centre in London (CEOP), has interviewed several female sex abusers.

'There's this cultural perception of women as the home-makers, and that men are the sexually aggressive ones,' he explains.

'Society as a whole has bought into that and the law has been shaped around that. The reality is very different. But those attitudes are ingrained.

'When you start to talk about this subject, people tend to not want to know. They shut off because it's a subject they don't think is very common. They don't think it's something that warrants serious debate. As such, women tend to fly under the law enforcement radar.'

Yet DCI Hill insists 'ChildLine's findings are very much in line with our own'.

He adds: 'We come into contact with lots of female sex offenders and we know that there are a number of women who have a sexual interest in children and that they do sexually abuse children. The idea that's it's always a woman being coerced by a man is a myth.

'Although the number of female sex abusers is still very low compared to men, their offences tend to be of a more serious nature - at the top end of the spectrum.

'Although the number of female sex abusers is still very low compared to men, their offences tend to be of a more serious nature '

'At the same time, women abusers are far more likely to operate alone as opposed to being part of large-scale paedophile networks.

'Their offending tends to start earlier in life in childhood. It's not usually of a violent nature. They will start as children with other children.

'Many female offenders we have spoken to are claiming they were victims of long-term physical and sexual abuse in childhood. But that's quite a common claim for all sex offenders to make.

'We don't see large-scale networks with loads of women,' says DCI Hill. 'We see lots of men and sometimes a smattering of women who become involved.'

Disturbingly, he adds: 'The majority of women we speak to will have abused their own children. Women tend to sexually abuse women who are close to them.'

This makes reporting such crimes even more difficult for child victims, who know that by doing so they may be kick-starting a process which will ultimate tear apart their family and, in all likelihood, see them being put into the care system.

'If you are being sexually abused by your mother, there's such a profound and primitive confusion,' says Diana Cant. 'It completely confuses sex and care-giving for both boys and girls.

'They stand to lose everything and they fear that, if they report it, everything they know, their family, will be taken away.

'And it's not just their lives, it's the lives of their siblings. There is also the issue that while one child may feel ready to disclose abuse, their brothers or sisters may not and may deny it, so there's guilt and confusion there.'

Excerpts from Daily Mail, UK. Read the full story here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1228366/I-abused-woman-haunts-day.html

.This thread reminds me of one of my secondary school class mate(bayo,not his real name). He told me then ( about 13years ago),that he was being harassed sexually by a supposedly big sister who was living close to them.This lady started having sex with this guy at age 9.I myself would have been a victim of sexual harassment from a lady,when i was still very young, if not for the mercy of God.

Sexual abuse against men is constantly increasing.

It is a shame that we fail to recognize that men can be sexually and emotionally abused.

We laugh at men who are abused , but it is a serious issue and should not be overlooked.

Jorussia:
.This thread reminds me of one of my secondary school class mate(bayo,not his real name). He told me then ( about 13years ago),that he was being harassed sexually by a supposedly big sister who was living close to them.This lady started having sex with this guy at age 9.I myself would have been a victim of sexual harassment from a lady,when i was still very young, if not for the mercy of God.

They are men in woman's skin.

Way to go.

Whether the number of female abusers is low compared to men makes no difference really.
Justice for one abused person is justice for all.

I think people need to be more supportive of sexually abused dudes instead of expecting them to macho up and keep quiet.

chowlade:


They are men in woman's skin.

how?

whre are nairaland women abeg make dem come abuse moi
make we see who go run

chowlade:


They are men in woman's skin.

They are women jare.So many teenage boys are a victim of this sexual harassment by mature ladies and they afraid to say it out.Can you imagine a mature a lady(27 and above )deliberately slots in an erotic movie in the presence of a boy of may be 10 -15 years,nor be sexual harassment be that one. I almost became a victim of this nonsense, at a very tender age,if not for the mercy of God.

chowlade:


They are men in woman's skin.

How do you mean? If that is true they will go more after the girls.

One of our house helps when growing up was popular for having multiple sexual partners- males. She actually made sexual advances at me at about age 5. Undressed both of us and asked for sex. Thank God I refused; maybe she done catch HIV or gonorrhea sef.

MrKontrovErsy:
whre are nairaland women abeg make dem come abuse moi
make we see who go run

Imagine a friend got you drunk and started it while you are sleepy. That's a common scenario for grown up men. It is probably more devastating than raping a drunk woman because of men's ego. So better not ask for it. Google Male Sexual abuse and read life stories online before you beg for it o.

MrKontrovErsy:
whre are nairaland women abeg make dem come abuse moi
make we see who go run

Imagine a female friend got you drunk and started it while you are sleepy. That's a common scenario for grown up men. It is probably more devastating than raping a drunk woman because of men's ego. So better not ask for it. Google Male Sexual abuse and read life stories online before you beg for it o.

PMIcon:


Imagine a female friend got you drunk and started it while you are sleepy. That's a common scenario for grown up men. It is probably more devastating than raping a drunk woman because of men's ego. So better not ask for it. Google Male Sexual abuse and read life stories online before you beg for it o.

bro nothing the happen even with blurred vission i go still give them fire!
u neva see person wey drink no de catch... i kno of a guy.

The problem with this kinda abuse is that boys always see it as something to be proud about. That's why people hardly open up.

I can't count the number of friends I have who all lost their innocence to house helps and older females

The problem with this kinda abuse is that boys always see it as something to be proud about. That's why people hardly open up.

Thank you o.

@nitefury

I noticed it too. They need to be taught that it is just as bad as when under aged girls are abused.

Female paedophiles on the loose! Come cococandy I learnt paedophiles are warming up for government recognition in your US of A! Are you going to give them the same support you gave their homosexual cousins?

Oh well! I was sexually molested when I was barely 6years by an older female cousin.

It wasn't bad per se.

dinachi:
Female paedophiles on the loose! Come cococandy I learnt paedophiles are warming up for government recognition in your US of A! Are you going to give them the same support you gave their homosexual cousins?

Maybe they are learning from holy, religious and examplary Nigerians. We have already given them government recognition in NIGERIA why won't others copy us since we are more morally upright?
It must be the moral thing to do!

Yeah I think it's on the increase but the problem here's that most people especially in Africa will always see the victim as being weak while the female folks in a similar situation is considered raped, why the double standard?

cococandy:


Maybe they are learning from holy, religious and examplary Nigerians. We have already given them government recognition in NIGERIA why won't others copy us since we are more morally upright?
It must the moral thing to do!

Who gave them recognition in Nigeria?

FrancisTony:
Oh well! I was sexually molested when I was barely 6years by an older female cousin.

It wasn't bad per se.

Francis

FrancisTony:
Oh well! I was sexually molested when I was barely 6years by an older female cousin.

It wasn't bad per se.

Really?

Men are finally reaping what they have sowed!
Hallelujahs!!!!

*time to massshubate. wey my amala spoon?"!

KanwuliaJara:
Men are finally reaping what they have sowed!
Hallelujahs!!!!

*time to massshubate. wey my amala spoon?"!

with amala spoon?

mredwifeosband:
Francis

Lol, I can't remember the experience but it's not something I regret.

Rilwayne001:

Really?

Yes, she was 19/20years.
Oral stimulation, and she's married to a Pastor now(R.C.C.G).

dinachi:

Who gave them recognition in Nigeria?

is me

hian..guys d complain of sexual abuse?? ,i neva c anyone oo...as long as d girl no carry disease,its allowed

cos dr ws a certain time in soth africa dat guys were raped anyhow,however d girls were hiv positive nd were using it as a sort of punishment...God forbid i becum abused or raped,i wud just beg my abductor to wear me condom

cococandy:


Maybe they are learning from holy, religious and examplary Nigerians. We have already given them government recognition in NIGERIA why won't others copy us since we are more morally upright?
It must be the moral thing to do!

Polygamy, homosexual and paedophilia.

Nigeria has legalised two except Homosexual but you won't see Americans calling them hypocrites and evil country.

America legalised only homosexual and Nigerians won't let them hear word and mind their business.

Nigeria should take care of their double standard and legalise homosexual since paedophilia and polygamy is legal before accusing America of hypocrisy because they don't want to legalise polygamy and paedophilia.

Our hypocrisy stinks.

Lol. Abi o.

I don't know why we can't focus on issues without discussing America. Dryyyyyyyyyy

Seriously I could care less what happens here since it's a land of mind your business.
And instead worry about my own country. .

Logicalmind1:


Polygamy, homosexual and paedophilia.

Nigeria has legalised two except Homosexual but you won't see Americans calling them hypocrites and evil country.

America legalised only homosexual and Nigerians won't let them hear word and mind their business.

Nigeria should take care of their double standard and legalise homosexual since paedophilia and polygamy is legal before accusing America of hypocrisy because they don't want to legalise polygamy and paedophilia.

Our hypocrisy stinks.

KanwuliaJara:
Men are finally reaping what they have sowed!
Hallelujahs!!!!

*time to massshubate. wey my amala spoon?"!

So in your mind the men that molest females becomes the boys that get molested by females? .

PMIcon:


So in your mind the men that molest females becomes the boys that get molested by females? .

No. Their sons get molested! Simple!!!!

KanwuliaJara:


No. Their sons get molested! Simple!!!!

Statistics say the opposite:

1. Their sons are more likely to molestest other innocent children
2. Those molested (female or male) are more likely to molest others related or not

Is it a joy to you that innocent children get molested? Do you have to see this as a revenge?