ice25:
LEARN TO SAY NO..IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE.....

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

Edusouls:
wicked girl,and when you beg for own help may they say no to you,just as you advice someone to say no to people that needs his help,greedy bitch, sorry for ur husband cos im brothers and relatives go suffer if im marry a stingy and greedy woman like u.

astrodome:


I pity your life Bro, if you think everyone is a loser, like you?

Owning 2 cars is not a luxury in America for a family. And even with my 6 figure pay, you see that I am still complaining.

astrodome:


You dey craze oh! After that what happens?

TXRunner:

Well, since you've decided to be her solicitor, I will dignify you with an answer. People make 6 digits in America. The first question she should have asked is what kind of job the person she quoted does. Doctors, Nurses (depending on the years of experience, and if they do overtime), [s]IT professionals, people who work in the oil industry[/s] and some wall street people make 100+ or more a year....depending on their area of expertise and years of experience. A lot goes into taxes and 401K anyways, but 6 figures will be the salary reflected on the individual's W2 and tax documents. Ask the olodo if $100,000 a year isn't six figures?
Bolded, lol. I guess that question should be directed to yourself. Its been nice talking to u.

Sunofgod:


Announce your death to them on FB

ronald4lif:


Yes true. I try to chat them up as often as time permits but most time our conversation always get skewed and narrowed down to one form of assistance plea or the other which leaves me with no choice than to boycott Facebook chat or assist when I find it convenience. There are some who would understand, others not so much, as they're adamant not to even want to comprehend whatever you say.

How do you school someone who keeps telling you to assist him come abroad. A person who's unemployed and doesn't have the required paperwork and requisite documents embassies stipulated for entry visas?. If it was an invitation letter they're seeking for fine but rather they think you can wane a magic hand and there you have visas. There are mainly three category of visas applications namely: student, tourist and spousal visa and some of these friends don't want to listen to whatever one says with a fixated mind that you are wicked no matter what one says. On what visa category do they fits in?. It's not that easy and you know it.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

olushowunm:
Bro. Best thing to do is to first be financially independent by having financial intelligence which you will now use to deal with ur issues. You need to invest more than u r currently doing. And for u to be living in a house with a mortgage of 25% of ur income, you r already lacking in the department of financial intelligence. You are not making sound financial decisions and you don't even have plans, that's why you complain. First, to begin with you need to be acquiring assets that put money in ur pocket and not big house for nothing but 25% of ur sweat. Then you need to do budgeting. Let all your giving including church offering, tithes and giving to less privilege be 10% of all ur income. Add me so we can talk better. Get a lot to do. 52EB3FAF or 23480376870. Bye.

zeezahbee:
Chaiii, yo yo yo , even those that are cutting meat and washing plate in Africa store Na 6 digits

Some people will just lie on nairaland. As if it's not this same America. Kilode, Fear God oo.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

soleexx:


Oh really..pretty nice


Baltimore

NobleG1:


You earn 6-figure pay and you send only $3k monthly to your family?
Anyway, learn to say 'NO' and lie.

Kazrem:

You have done that "I hardly pick calls, don't reply facebook PM" to me even though what I asked wasn't finance but I understand.
BTW
As you said earlier the major cause is actually the person probably he/she has been flaunting his "wealth".

astrodome:


Cool. Was sightseeing at the Baltimore
. Scared a little bit regarding the high crime rate in Baltimore.

Truckpusher:
Send me a mail.

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

StOla:
Guy! Welcome to Nigeria.

I don't even reply most whatsapp and facebook chats any more. They now lay in wait for me to come online then they attack, knowing you must acknowledge their presence.

I can write an epistle on this topic.
I'm resident in Nigeria so this is even rampant with those with higher earning power within Nigeria. I get to travel a lot, but the internet banking facilities have ensured I keep making expenditures on behalf of other people.

I'm getting really frustrated with always having to promise a portion of my future salary to help a friend or the other. These locusts, coupled with my own economic pursuits, have ensured I barely have enough cash before the next pay check.

The demands never stop. Ranging from the very important to mundane stuff like a jobless man planning a wedding with expenses that rival a society wedding.
So I begin to wonder if people can't just cut their coat according to their cloth.

I have contemplated a change of mobile line, but I'll be losing a lot of contacts who must reach me in the course of my job.

It's a rather sad situation, that requires both financial empowerment of the needy, and social orientation on being self reliant - a trait that is not very African/Nigerian.

I hope Dangote and Adenuga can continue from where I must be stopping. This matter pass my power. I am not Jesus Christ, I can't help everyone I would like too.

I have my own needs too, and dreams to pursue. I also suspect most of these beneficiaries of my magnanimity would not do the same if roles were reversed.

hustla:


Take am go chop for McDonalds then

astrodome:


How much should I send?

NobleG1:



By the way, is the 6-figure pay monthly or annually?

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

astrodome:


Was a research scientist until early last year. Read that post more carefully. Now an industry employee where I get well paid for a good job. Why am I explaining this anyway?

Jarus:


No vex my brother. Ignoring calls and not reading/checking PMs came to become a habit (a not-so-good one, I must admit) when I used it to curtail my spending. Now, I hardly even check Facebook PM. Not because of money again, but it has become a habit.

ferdimako:

Nope...u did what we do here. Counting only d kids! Even some pple count twins as one because they conceived them once. Not good on ur economy...and sense of proportion.

Goldenboy007:


Ahan youngman, your stories keep getting a newer twist, which industrial employee gets paid 6 figures? You must be the director of research in a ground breaking space lab. Bros we are all in this yankee together o, we know what's up ! You can only hoodwink people wey nefa reach airport before o! And you have been sending 3k every month? You see why you shouldn't come to a public forum to tell fibs?

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me?

adepiero:
@histemple, I used WE because I'm also a nigerian. Though you are right by saying I may be offending some people but the truth can't be ignored!

Albert Einstein said "Thanks to those who said NO! because of them, I learnt to do it myself" Many Nigerians don't challenge themselves, most of them are contented with poverty and the reason is because someone is always giving and not advicing them to be better.[color=#006600][/color]

You are making absolute sense I must sincerely confess but I believe the word "many Nigerians" was more appropriate as "WE Nigerians" connotes either ALL or a problem that is peculiar to only Nigerians. As for the topic, your contribution was excellent.

In the OP's case, life changes that ought to take him months to do financially will take years due to constant giving(extortion)