lozanni:
@Op, have you considered vaginal reconstruction through surgery yet? I saw many cases like yours on a certain DSTV program titled Doctor at 1211? Am not sure about the name now.
The 1211 is a very wealthy surburb of LA, USA and that is where the surgeon is based.
All the ladies who were successfully operated on, later went ahead to live very happy lives.

treese:

Am not all that totally expanded, oh well I can't really tell am not the one entering. But I still don't know. I heard alum has its side effects

Missmossy:
This is too inhuman! Your husband is heartless no doubt.

Bridgetown:


The only solution is to overcome the fear of your husband cheating. Because he will definitely cheat to excite himself but if you can live with it and advise him to always use condoms the better for you. I don't think he can divorce you base on that but nagging towards suspicion that he is cheating will cost you your marriage.

I feel your husband pain because I once dated a girl with lax virginal too, i didn't end the relationship but I ran away. There was no friction whatsoever and I felt embarrassed.
You beloved husband should try and handle the situation with love since you are now the mother of his kids. Sex is not everything in life.

francizy:
OP, well, I don't think your husband still loves you tho.. This is because he knew all these and decided to marry you. Why didn't he quit initially? Also, if you're slack and he can't make the best of that size then he's not good enough at sex. Another thing is, when some guys wanna start patronizing the anûs, they will always wanna come up with silly excuses like that. I wouldn't say you divorce him but it's good to know the kind of man you're with. Wish you the best..

treese:

Am not all that totally expanded, oh well I can't really tell am not the one entering. But I still don't know. I heard alum has its side effects

Mekzmoney:
Is dis suppose to be an advice or solution to her proplem? Or ar u adding or subtracting 4rm wat she said? ... What she needs is an advice or solution my friend...

Insidous:


Who is going to pay for it?

freecocoa:
OP don't let this kill your self esteem.

To be honest, if I were in her shoes, saying such to me after all we've been through together is enough to kill what's left.

There are only two ways the self esteem won't be damaged irreparably...
1. If he realizes his mistake and brings down heaven to apologise.

2. If I bond emotionally with another person, man, without necessarily having sex or making out.
Call it emotional infidelity, I don't give two flying fvcks

treese:
Though he usually says he doesn't care about my self esteem but I don't think this has to do with self esteem alone. I think there is more. While we were dating we spoke about my sex life and body nature. It's not like I had too many relationships but I just knew men say my vaginal is kind of lax. Even wen I lost my virginity the guy called me a blunt liar to my face, saying I claimed to be a virgin when I wasn't.

You didn't bleed and getting in wasn't so hard. That is one ruined relationship that would have been awesome. And probably the last man standing. If you be virgin, you go know, if you not, you will know and I KNEW then that I was.

Now my husband knew this about my body and decides to stick with it. Somehow someway which I don't know after my first child, vaginal got tight, second child too same happened. To a certain extent it helped our sex life because it made him love it. And I could tell it's one of the reasons he probably hasn't cheated..

Just 2 days back. We had a little misunderstanding then I mentioned something about sèx. Quote me if am wrong. Sex is meant for bonding between a man and a woman and that's why God instituted it in marriage alone. So you both can get closer, and in my own opinion when there are issues BTW them the power of sex is to make forgiveness easy. The next thing my husband said is. It's not like am enjoying the sex. It's now feels like been in a pool.

OMG I was HURT. I lost the essence of life immediately, lost the essence of marriage. Out of anger I told him only men with big dicks should complain, men with pencils dares nor. That was my only defence because he said it with soooooo much heartlessness. I cried...i cried so much. This man that I have back sex with so that our sex life would be whole. Sometimes I bleed. Then I said to myself it's not worth it. Then I realised, For him if anything goes wrong with me due to that sexual style, Am on my own. Few hours later I sent him a text that I was sorry for everything not because it was easy but two wrongs never ever make a right in marriage. Can't walk away with two kids can only make it work.

Following day wen I saw he was in a good mood. I decided to ask, then he said I was lax and it has made sex unenjoyable. I wondered y he didn't tell me immediately he noticed and why he had to throw it to my face. But what, it's a man's world. If they don't reap their mean ways here on earth. It waits in heaven.

But trust me since then I have been concerned,Google all I could, nothing much. Even the kegel exercise has always been my practice. I now feel this time he might just look outside wen sex gets all pool like. He said he will buy toys, he said he can't pretend to love it wen he doesn't. Which I agree with. But even the toys can it ever be Like d real things. Sometimes he might want to feel the woman and not want toys. What happens next? I can't encourage him to cheat cos if he does and I find out I would leave with my kids. But I don't want him to. Am confused. So so confused. You know wen a man is concerned he will probably do research with you, find out info call doctors, but he didn't, he just broke the news to me and he's like do something about it or I might not be making out with u again. It's really not fair. Cos some men might possibly not go about it that way. But at the same time, it's like that's his nature. I can only Leave with it or take a walk. But take a walk to where, becos am now lax? But I also hear sex in marriage is KEY, with two kids, and I love him, but thatz still not the point. I DON'T know. Please who does? I have smiling all over the house, acting like everything is fine once am alone i cry again, because the fear is, would there ever be a solution , would I still be tight again, and this is a marriage where sex is sometimes 1 in 2 or 3 weeks, so definitely that's not the reason for my laxity, i will be sad if my marriage gets ruined because am lax. I hope my husband reads this thank God he is a nairalander

Lizabeth25:
If all men reason the same way you do, the woman no go get husband o! Lol

nortcentrallord:
I understand your pain maam. Everybody has different body make up. Since he was aware of the problem he shouldn't have done that. A more subtle way will help the issue better. You should see a doctor or gynea for consultation and better alternative. Don't listen to all these alum bullshit. Maam, I seriously warn you against the back stuff you allow just to pleasure him.
1. Its a sin even in marriage.
2. The health repercussions are very serious and dangerous. Trust me, only your family will stand by you then that is if they LOVE you. Take note of the capital letter I used in spelling LOVE.
You can make it on your own. The worst mistake you will make is trying to cheat on him or get too close to an ever ready presenting crying shoulder. Especially males. If you cheat and he catches you, it will be to him a confirmation that you have been cheating. He might be cheating on you but hold on. There is light @ the end of the tunnel. It is better to walk away honorably than to be labeled a "cheat". If you succeed, he will come to respect you and see you as his Idol. Trust me, marriage is not a bed of roses. God will see you through.

tochstorm:
is this a comment or the actual story? long comment man!

MARKone:


a lax V@gina is not an excuse to cheat, it should even make him last longer.

adegwurulez:

its quite soothing to realize you're a deviation from the average Nigerian.

lozanni:


It should be in the region of $5,000 to $7,000. Where there is a will, there is a way.

darlenese:
Your hubby is such a bad man, he is heartless and selfish , sorry to say , he is already cheating that is why he can reject his wife,s p***sy ,a child canot reject his mothers food on the ground that its not sweet. Ur hubby is a very wicked man , I'll advise u to continue with or kegel exercise, u can even do it when making out, and he's gonna feel the tightness , meanwhile while u are working on yourself let ur hubby try and get his own dick bigger as well, I hear big dicks do not complain.

blackpanda:
Why do women always feel they have to adjust themselves to keep the marriage.

Its obvious the man doesnt really love u. And u will be a fool to think he's not sleeping outside. Men are not designed to go weeks without sex, especially when he has a problem with the pussy at home.

Sorry I dont mean to be blunt. But I encourage u to be strong and start preparing for the worst. So sorry tho

nortcentrallord:
I understand your pain maam. Everybody has different body make up. Since he was aware of the problem he shouldn't have done that. A more subtle way will help the issue better. You should see a doctor or gynea for consultation and better alternative. Don't listen to all these alum bullshit. Maam, I seriously warn you against the back stuff you allow just to pleasure him.
1. Its a sin even in marriage.
2. The health repercussions are very serious and dangerous. Trust me, only your family will stand by you then that is if they LOVE you. Take note of the capital letter I used in spelling LOVE.
You can make it on your own. The worst mistake you will make is trying to cheat on him or get too close to an ever ready presenting crying shoulder. Especially males. If you cheat and he catches you, it will be to him a confirmation that you have been cheating. He might be cheating on you but hold on. There is light @ the end of the tunnel. It is better to walk away honorably than to be labeled a "cheat". If you succeed, he will come to respect you and see you as his Idol. Trust me, marriage is not a bed of roses. God will see you through.