IamLEGEND1:
HOW ON EARTH ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION?

We can ask his fiancée.

Yes she is

architez:
I'm not quite sure how to go about confronting her. How do I frame the question? Do I take her to a restaurant?
Do I do it in an accusing manner?

It is driving me nuts.

pls face your studies, then when u come of age you will surely understand and handle some issues personally or publicly

architez:


I can't. I can't even sleep thinking about it. And she can sense something is wrong. What do I tell her is wrong? I must confront her.

Then update us on the outcome

architez:


U R supposed to make suggestions. Two heads are better than one.

.bt u mean 2 good heads

Obinovictor:



Then update us on the outcome

Turned out I didn't have to confront her at all. She herself brought it up in a phone conversation. But she said NOTHING about the teacher affair (seems she's totally forgotten about it).
She told me, in passing and quite lightly, that she's been with "a couple of men" but didn't sleep with them. I lightly continued the convo as if that's nothing, but I was totally shocked. She never said anything like that b4. I also noticed she didn't repeat anything about being a virgin.
Well, I've decided to commence a thorough investigation of this lady. Some expensive things I bought her, she kept in my house. I am thinking of avoiding her and keeping the stuff till my investigation is over.

dangerous01:
.bt u mean 2 good heads

You have no way of predetermining if the head was good or not.

Azedplus:


pls face your studies, then when u come of age you will surely understand and handle some issues personally or publicly

I am very much of age. Maybe too much of age actually.

architez:


Turned out I didn't have to confront her at all. She herself brought it up in a phone conversation. But she said NOTHING about the teacher affair (seems she's totally forgotten about it).
She told me, in passing and quite lightly, that she's been with "a couple of men" but didn't sleep with them. I lightly continued the convo as if that's nothing, but I was totally shocked. She never said anything like that b4. I also noticed she didn't repeat anything about being a virgin.
Well, I've decided to commence a thorough investigation of this lady. Some expensive things I bought her, she kept in my house. I am thinking of avoiding her and keeping the stuff till my investigation is over.

Lol!
Guy, someone here asked if you were a 'Learner'.
I concur with that person.

It's a normal thing girls tell guys at the beginning of a relationship. "I am a virgin", "I don't like sex", "I was raped when I was little" etc. All these is just for you to see her as a decent girl or for you not to be disappointed if you later become lovers and u find out her hymen is not intact.

Guy your babe don chop forbidden fruit tey tey.

The good news is though that for her to tell you these things shows she's into you .

Well, I would forgive her. Virginity although desirable is overrated. You can marry virgin devil you know.

.

UnknownT:
The way you guys turn Nairaland to Ifa, Amadioha and our ancestors sha

Pls, one Origin for you.

The school friend is a liar.

AskProf:


Pls, one Origin for you.

lol. That will be at the break of my fast bro

architez:


That's the whole point. He had nothing to lie about. He thought I knew the story. He was simply happy that she got beyond all that mess. I hid my shock. I pretended I already knew about it. I didn't ask for details. I actually think he said "closet" not "bathroom".

Ok

Maybe im missing something here but Im not sure why other people think its unreasonable that you are annoyed that she lied. That is a genuine grievance, HOWEVER:

If you really care for her you need to extend some grace and give her a chance to tell you the truth

because since we can conclude she did that, it would be very difficult to break it to a guy who she may marry in future

She may just be biding her time to see where your relationship is going

because she cant really explain her history to too many people. she needs to make sure first

what if she told you in the early stages, then you broke up? how many people will she confess this to??

5minsmadness:


Lol!
Guy, someone here asked if you were a 'Learner'.
I concur with that person.

It's a normal thing girls tell guys at the beginning of a relationship. "I am a virgin", "I don't like sex", "I was raped when I was little" etc. All these is just for you to see her as a decent girl or for you not to be disappointed if you later become lovers and u find out her hymen is not intact.

Guy your babe don chop forbidden fruit tey tey.

The good news is though that for her to tell you these things shows she's into you .

Well, I would forgive her. Virginity although desirable is overrated. You can marry virgin devil you know.

Remember I was minding my own business. She was the one who said she was a virgin, out of the blue. That men have promised her mariage and everything in the world, but sex first, and she refused.

No, I don't think it is normal for girls to say they r virgins
This is the first time a girl is saying that to me.

Gurgle:


Ok

Maybe im missing something here but Im not sure why other people think its unreasonable that you are annoyed that she lied. That is a genuine grievance, HOWEVER:

If you really care for her you need to extend some grace and give her a chance to tell you the truth

because since we can conclude she did that, it would be very difficult to break it to a guy who she may marry in future

She may just be biding her time to see where your relationship is going

because she cant really explain her history to too many people. she needs to make sure first

what if she told you in the early stages, then you broke up? how many people will she confess this to??

That's the whole point of my investigation. I don't want to tip her off in any way.

misspicy:
The school friend is a liar.

I've decided I won't ask her about it untill my investigation is over. I have a feeling it may not be necessary. If she's been bleeping other men then it is a mute point.

BTW she's already tried to get some of her stuff I bought her and I've deflected her. Should I give them to her?

architez:


Remember I was minding my own business. She was the one who said she was a virgin, out of the blue. That men have promised her mariage and everything in the world, but sex first, and she refused.

No, I don't think it is normal for girls to say they r virgins
This is the first time a girl is saying that to me.

And why do you think she said she was a virgin out of the blue, without prompting, without u asking her?
What was with the whole "I have even refused marriage from MANY suitors because they wanted to have sex with me" ish? Or U ask am for the info?


She was tryna impress you bro, tryn to let you know she ain't 'easy'.

I've personally had two girls tell me they were virgins. Found out they were lies

One said she lost her virginity via rape. A few months later she told of how she willingly gave her virginity to a sec school bf

One told me she didn't like sex. Later found out she was into sadomasochism

Forgiven nd forgotten



Guy chill out.


If I may ask, what is it that you bought that was so expensive that you don't want her to have back? Why would you want it back anyway, no be dash u dash am? Na so you go go her house go dey collect all the gifts you gave her if per chance something else made u guys break up?


I dunno but sounds unnecessary to me.

architez:


I've decided I won't ask her about it untill my investigation is over. I have a feeling it may not be necessary. If she's been bleeping other men then it is a mute point.

BTW she's already tried to get some of her stuff I bought her and I've deflected her. Should I give them to her?

Your choice bro.
If you feel she doesnt deserve it coz she lied pls dnt,if after you unvestigations u r not satisfied do wat will make you happy.
But I still feel the friend is a bad person.

architez:


That's the whole point of my investigation. I don't want to tip her off in any way.

so you're trying to see if she will confess later on?

I think you should just give her the stuff back

it doesn't really matter at the end of the day, i'm sure she would rather have you than all that stuff

architez:


Turned out I didn't have to confront her at all. She herself brought it up in a phone conversation. But she said NOTHING about the teacher affair (seems she's totally forgotten about it).
She told me, in passing and quite lightly, that she's been with "a couple of men" but didn't sleep with them. I lightly continued the convo as if that's nothing, but I was totally shocked. She never said anything like that b4. I also noticed she didn't repeat anything about being a virgin.
Well, I've decided to commence a thorough investigation of this lady. Some expensive things I bought her, she kept in my house. I am thinking of avoiding her and keeping the stuff till my investigation is over.

If you can't stand it, forget her very fast. Digging into the matter will lead to further heart breaks. Invite her over and talk about it. Man up! Make us proud.

IamLEGEND1:


i'm glad you used

She "COULD" be.

Personally, even with the possibility of her not being a virgin and lieing to me.....

i'll just let it slide.

Bcoz i know say i no holy pass.

and neither are you.

but if you choose to confront her, datz ur choice.

If she lied about anything else, I won't mind. I can't imagine myself lying about being a virgin. Never!

Lol @thread

5minsmadness:


And why do you think she said she was a virgin out of the blue, without prompting, without u asking her?
What was with the whole "I have even refused marriage from MANY suitors because they wanted to have sex with me" ish? Or U ask am for the info?


She was tryna impress you bro, tryn to let you know she ain't 'easy'.

U folks keep saying she likes me, she's trying to impress me. I don't blame u, cos u know nothing about me. Of course she likes/loves me! Not only am I ripe for marriage, I happen to have everything our society has decreed a woman would want in a husband, plus am decent person too. Without bragging, it's like hitting the jackpot. That's just the truth.

5minsmadness:
I've personally had two girls tell me they were virgins. Found out they were lies

One said she lost her virginity via rape. A few months later she told of how she willingly gave her virginity to a sec school bf

One told me she didn't like sex. Later found out she was into sadomasochism

Forgiven nd forgotten



Guy chill out.


If I may ask, what is it that you bought that was so expensive that you don't want her to have back? Why would you want it back anyway, no be dash u dash am? Na so you go go her house go dey collect all the gifts you gave her if per chance something else made u guys break up?


I dunno but sounds unnecessary to me.

Well I'm out if the country once a month or so (I was born in UK, but I'm mostly in the states cos I like it bette
r). Right now I'm in 9ja but I bet the Mods think I'm in the states because of the phone I'm using - it just happens I'm always using my US sim card.
Anyway I always come back with expensive things not found in Nig: shoes, handbags, jewelry, phones.

misspicy:

Your choice bro.
If you feel she doesnt deserve it coz she lied pls dnt,if after you unvestigations u r not satisfied do wat will make you happy.
But I still feel the friend is a bad person.

No, her schoolmate is not a bad person. U don't understand. He was only trying to express happiness that she was able to hit the jackpot (me) despite everything she went through.

Gurgle:


so you're trying to see if she will confess later on?

I think you should just give her the stuff back

it doesn't really matter at the end of the day, i'm sure she would rather have you than all that stuff

What an insight u have. Exactly - she'd rather have me than half the stuff in Lagos. U R right. But I didn't become wealthy by being a fool.

Obinovictor:



If you can't stand it, forget her very fast. Digging into the matter will lead to further heart breaks. Invite her over and talk about it. Man up! Make us proud.

I already have my boys out digging - your advice is too late. My heart will not be broken.

AmakaMilano:
Lol @thread

Look, this is the most true, most authentic thread on NL.
I've already shared parts of the story on my various comments b4 I decided to create an entire thread based on it.

architez:


No, her schoolmate is not a bad person. U don't understand. He was only trying to express happiness that she was able to hit the jackpot (me) despite everything she went through.

This is d more reason why he is a bad person,why destroy sumones happiness bcoz yu know der past.

If we shuld consider the past of most women in nigeria a lot of them will nvr get married,who knows if dat friend wanted her b4 and she turned him down.

I just want you to know that the.trash you throw out today might be d most treasured possession of anoda man tomorow.

If u love her enuf,pyut dis behind you but let her know you will condole no more lies.

Just know that we all have some FRENIMYS.they pretend to love us but are actually after our downfall.

If you ask me, na who I go ask?