I honestly need a guide/advice from married, intelligent parents in the house:
I have 2 kids with a woman that we are no more living together under same roof but with her mum for 4 years now. Meanwhile, I have been responsible for their school fees and maintenance...only they are not with me.
But my issue is that their mother will never want them in my house even when they are on holiday.
The last discussion on the subject caused rancor between us and I decided I was going to halt the payment of their fees, if i would only be a financier and will not have privilege to take them out/to my house.
pls can somebody advise if it is a right step in the right direction.

.

U hav every right to hav a time with ur kids.. See a lawyer immediately

If u can inbox me ur no, we can talk or chat?

Pls dont stop training those kids. They are yours and believe me, someday they will look for you.

Pls continue paying for their fees.

Have a good talk with their mother and make her see reasons with you. Tell her that she shouldnt make the kids feel like bastards when they have a father.

I think you should get a lawyer.There's no reason why you shouldn't have access to the children especially when you are responsible for their schooling.

polyte:
I honestly need a guide/advice from married, intelligent parents in the house:
I have 2 kids with a woman that we are no more living together under same roof but with her mum for 4 years now. Meanwhile, I have been responsible for their school fees and maintenance...only they are not with me.
But my issue is that their mother will never want them in my house even when they are on holiday.
The last discussion on the subject caused rancor between us and I decided I was going to halt the payment of their fees, if i would only be a financier and will not have privilege to take them out/to my house.
pls can somebody advise if it is a right step in the right direction.

I will advice you to continue sending the money for school fees, and even feeding allowance, apart from posterity judging you, it is majorly your responsibility, unless you are genuinely not financially capable of doing so....at the moment, then you might be excused. Keep on doing it and keep all records, to avoid it being used against you tomorrow. To make the kids come to your place can't be achieved with force, it is a gradual and subtle thing, which might involve serious pleading with their mother, even if the two of you don't see eye to eye, swallow ur pride. I don't know if the two of you were legally married or the circumstances surrounding the union, but if the kids are up to 7 years, you are entitled to joint or sole custody by law, but two of you should be matured enough not to allow the situation degenerate to going to court for the custody of the kids, you guys can work it out, just be patient. Don't give up on ur kids.

MARKone:

I will advice you to continue sending the money for school fees, and even feeding allowance, apart from posterity judging you, it is majorly your responsibility, unless you are genuinely not financially capable of doing so....at the moment, then you might be excused. Keep on doing it and keep all records, to avoid it being used against you tomorrow. To make the kids come to your place can't be achieved with force, it is a gradual and subtle thing, which might involve serious pleading with their mother, even if the two of you don't see eye to eye, swallow ur pride. I don't know if the two of you were legally married or the circumstances surrounding the union, but if the kids are up to 7 years, you are entitled to joint or sole custody by law, but two of you should be matured enough not to allow the situation degenerate to going to court for the custody of the kids, you guys can work it out, just be patient. Don't give up on ur kids.

really appreciate ur advice..many tthanks

Make sure you keep all the receipts for the school fees. You will need them someday to prove to your children that you are NOT a HIT AND RUN father. Mark my words.

Take her to family court and sue for visitation rights. Yes, in Nigeria. There are social welfare boards that do their job.

blank:
Take her to family court and sue for visitation rights. Yes, in Nigeria. There are social welfare boards that do their job.

Exactly.

OP, also remember to always keep record of all the money you are spending on your kids. You will need it to proove you have been playing your part and that you are a responsible father.

Some women are just terrible. Why deny a father the visitation rights?

People have given you some good advice already. . Don't stop training your kids...



Btw, is she your babymama or you are/were married?

pls never stop that , it can be used against you tomorrow, women can b terrible a times. come down with humility, talk to your woman calmly, she will succumb, work it out with her, it will work. are you single at home now, ?if No, she might be trying to protect her kids any how. show her love too, after two kids for you,she can't be a push over bros, both of you hav emotions trouble and must be worked upon o.

Have you also tried talking to her mum about you wanting the kids to visit you so that you can have some time with them? She might not have a good understanding that you also have a right to the kids thus, the reason for her action.

polyte:
I honestly need a guide/advice from married, intelligent parents in the house:
I have 2 kids with a woman that we are no more living together under same roof but with her mum for 4 years now. Meanwhile, I have been responsible for their school fees and maintenance...only they are not with me.
But my issue is that their mother will never want them in my house even when they are on holiday.
The last discussion on the subject caused rancor between us and I decided I was going to halt the payment of their fees, if i would only be a financier and will not have privilege to take them out/to my house.
pls can somebody advise if it is a right step in the right direction.

try a more proactive but peaceful way to get to spend more time with your kids, make her realize that she might deny you access to them thinking she is hurting you while in actual sense she is hurting the kids. As for the financing, don't withdraw as that would be the kids suffering too and you wouldn't want your children to lack when you can afford it.

2 wrongs can't make a right bro. Have a rethink, like sumone wrote, dey will look 4 u.

Do you have another woman living with you in your house? She may not be comfortable leaving her young children in the care of another woman.
If you do, you can introduce your new woman to her and the children together. Let them all spend time when you go visit your kids probably at an eatery or park. The world doesn't have to end because you two seperated, and both women can actually relate well for the sake of the children.

Continue sending dem money, wen dhe grow up and friends start talking abt their fathers, ur children will search for u.
U gonna enjoy dat moment, d mum is only trying to form "am d one suffering for u all", buh just be calm.
And be ready for dat day!!!!!!
No matter how long it takes, it will surely come.