these jokes are great, got me glued 2 d computer. way 2 go guy

bubuev:

these jokes are great, got me glued 2 d computer. way 2 go guy

Are you sure you were not doing another thing on the computer, like playing games or watching xxxx movies ?
I mean something else could have glued you on the pc.
Studio does it all the time, not an offence

maybe i shouldn't have commended ur work, no offence

bubuev:

maybe i shouldn't have commended your work, no offence

hey no offence,  that was just a joke, lol,

i dont get serious when on this section, 

ok, no probs

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager.

The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them." the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have." explains the manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here." the manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows." complains the man
again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have." the manager replies. No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100."

"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have.

good joke, send more

Now there is a question you do not get too often,   


A woman is at home when she heard someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady 'Do you have a C**T?' She slams the door in disgust,  The next morning again she heard a knock at the door, it is the same man, and he asks the same question to the woman 'Do you have a C**T'. She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what was happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'. The next morning they heard a knock at the door and both run for the door.   
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer YES to the question because I want to see where he is going with it and what is his intention.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. Do you have C**T',  'YES' she said,  The man replies "Good!""" Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours'? Thank you!

Sorry didn't notice. I have stopped

its my name and i wrote it there.

if anyone touch it, nobody will like what i will do

lol see threat.

i just touched it sammie

clem, except you of course

Nice jokes,kip it rolin

sharap kerekere, who dey fear who here,

clem is my cousins sister

tell him again my dear

l think he is trying but need to put more effort

lol
Gud old dayz

Hhmm

the king is back

[quote author=Sam Milla]
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what
happened to this Parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent
thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I
wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't
you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought
to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make
the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot
is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a
great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "psssssssssssst,"
and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this
or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the
door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and
began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her
all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down, "

"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
[/quoteLOL! very funny

One Warri Pastor was praying for a man possessed with demon. He said in the name of Jesus, what do you want from this man? Speak up before I cast you into the abyss! The demon answered, I want him to win the American lotto draw, worth #200billion tonight. The Pastor lowered the microphone and whispered: get out of him and enter into me.... For more jokes click and like this page www.facebook.com/tonison.news

Best answers for stupid questions:

1. Someone calls you at 2 a.m in the night and asks
you
"are you sleeping?" Answer: No,I'm counting stars

2. When its raining and someone notices you going
out yet they ask: are you going out in this rain??
Answer: No in the next one

3. You're making out with a girl then you start pulling
her pants then she asks:
what are you trying to do?
Answer: i want to wash your panties for you 4 They see you comin out of the bathroomwet, they
ask: did you just have a bath?
Answer: no, i fell into the toilet bowl

5. You standing right in front of the elevator on the
ground floor going to your office,yet they ask: going
up? Answer: no, i'm waiting for my office to come down
and
get me!

6. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of
flowers
and you still ask him: are those flowers?
Answer: no baby, they're carrots!

7. You're in the queue at the cinema to buy tickets, a
friend sees you and asks:
what are you doing here?
Answer: i'm here to pay my school fees!

9. When people see you lying down with your eyes
closed, they still ask: are
you sleeping??
Answer: No! I'm practising how to die

10. When just got home back from an outing and
someone asks: are you back? Answer: No, i'm just about going out.
click like if you have been a victim of any of these... for more jokes click like and like this page www.facebook.com/tonison.news

An 11 year old girl realized
that she had started to grow
hair
between her legs. she got
worried and asked her Mom
about the hair. Her mom calmly said."That
part where hair has grown is
called
a monkey, be proud that your
monkey has grown hair."
Next morning at breakfast she told her sister."My monkey
has grown hair."Her sister
smiled
and said."that's nothing, mine
is already eating banana's."
#Her Mom fainted lol. FOR MORE JOKES www.facebook.com/tonison.news

Naija Chinese man speaks about Go Slow!! Funny!!

"Go Slow" ft. Babatunde - Brought to you by ibrandnaija.com


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soaZUh5nJ9s

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